Saturday night, August 6 ( 2: the sqeaquel)
Mal knew that the best idea would be to leave this place, but Mal was a petty person, not a wise one. And since Mal is such a petty person, they wanted some payback. So, they had some revenge they needed to prepare for the coming Monday. But firstly they needed sleep.
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Sunday morning, August 7, 2067
Mal sat up and cracked their knuckles, it was time for Mal to use their uncanny knowledge of things that you shouldn’t need to know to use. With that knowledge in hand, Mal took out their journal and began formatting a plan. A two versus one isn't a fair fight after all.
The "CaSTlE DeFEnsE LaWs" plan
Step one: gather supplies
Step two: barricade stuff
Step three: Make traps
Step four: make bomb :)
Step five: rig bomb
Step six: place traps
Step sevem *seven: wait
Mal knew they had to play dirty in order to win, so that’s exactly what they did. the first thing was barricading weak points and openings with boards and nails. Next they started taking the extra nails and boards, and made improvised caltrops, they placed these in front of most windows on the first floor and on some stair steps. it was now time to rig the basement door with an homemade explosive. Yes, they do know how to make one, just ask Richard Mackerson state prison.
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Using a petroleum jelly container, nail polish remover, antifreeze, bleach bottle and drain cleaner. Surprisingly the ingredients to explosive are in every day items. For example, the petroleum jelly container is used for base and Vaseline, the rest are components listed in order of mention: acetone, ethylene glycol, hydrogen peroxide, and sulfuric acid. a couple hours later, after adding glass shards for shrapnel Mal had finished creating their “surprise box” and set it under the rowing machine. Then using copper wire ,they led the cord from the “surprise” to the basement where they had a car battery ready to have some fun when it comes into contact with the wire that was now laying two feet away from the battery for precaution. Finally, they were done setting up.
Mal wasn’t entirely sure that the bomb would work or malfunction, so they placed their stuff and sleeping bag as far away from the stairs as they could. As Mal moved their supplies, they realized that the enemies might notice the bomb so to hide the bomb they cluttered the stairs to camouflage it and the improvised caltrops as more clutter. This could also work as a alarm, they noted
Now with home alone: r rated edition completed, Mal decided to get some rest after their hard work. But before they went to sleep, they placed their axe at the ready. Just in case
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Monday morning, aug 8,
Mal awoke to a bunch of clattering and a “fuck man, this basement’s dirty as hell. wait, what the fuck man. is that a goddamn rowing machine on the stairs? Who does that?” It was game time.
Silently, Mal picked up the end of the wire and waited as the pair continued bickering
“I dunno Phil, now help me move this thing”
Mal stayed silent ready to detonate while listening to the two's conversation “Alright earl lift on three"
Mal raised their eyebrow, there was no way the would waste a chance for a comedically timed explosion, so upon hearing Phil and Earl count to three Mal held the wire primed to detonate
"one… two… thr—“ BOOM. Mal watched as Earl got thrown into the wall by the bottom of the stairs by the blast, and without wasting a second, grabbed their axe and moved toward Earl’s vulnerable body. all that could be heard in the next 3 seconds was “what the—“ THUNK. Turning towards the scorched remains of the stairs, Mal could see Phil knocked prone on the stairs, legs broken and cut with shrapnel from the blast, one of the nail boards stabbing into their left arm as they crawled weakly to the basement door before passing out. Pulling the axe from Earl's body then double tapped Earl just in case, but as Mal went to finish the job, they ran into a problem, the stairs below Phil were unusable from the blast. Despite figuring that Phil wouldn’t get far, Mal grabbed their stuff and used the crowbar to open the cellar door leading to the backyard. Disappointed that they had to move again, they fled the scene of the crime, on their way to their next location
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3 hours later, at the ex-base of Mal, Phil pov
Phil regained consciousness and started dragging himself to the door leading to the first floor, thinking to himself ‘shit, I gotta report this threat to camp’
But upon climbing the last step, Phil looked up to see a 'person' waiting for them, back hunched like the hunchback of Notredame and mouth frothing like a rabid dog. “what the hell?” Was the last coherent words that came from Phil’s mouth. After all, leapfroggers liked loud noises.