Chapter 13: Tentacles and Taxes
Vera rode a slide all the way down to the dungeon’s lowest level. Her screaming stopped just as she came to an abrupt halt atop a fluffy bed. Looking around, she was in the same room as when she had a discussion with the dungeon master the other day. A morphling, still in Kat’s form, was present.
“…Welcome back.”
Vera steadied her breathing then replied. “Thank you for having me…”
“…What brings you to my dungeon once again?”
“I shared your teachings with the Church. They were overjoyed to learn about the sun and the planet. Actually, they sent me right back to learn more.”
DM had overheard all the conversations between Vera and her supervision, so he was mostly just playing dumb. “…I don’t mind discussing topics like those, but what is the Church’s goal?”
“We want to further understand and improve our teachings. That was true both before and after I met you.”
“…I guess that’s okay. I’m a bit concerned how the Church will react when I explain something to you that runs contrary to your current paradigm.”
“Paradigm?”
“…I don’t mind explaining science but I’m not interested in becoming your language tutor right now. Think of it this way. …I’m worried the Church will get mad if something I say is considered wrong by the Church.”
“Oh.” This time Vera understood. “I promise I won’t get upset but I’m not sure how the Church will react. But! After how much help you’ve been, I’m sure they’ll be understanding!”
“…Fine. I enjoyed our chat last time, but if we’re going to do it again, I need to know what’s in it for me.”
“For you? What do you want?”
DM had given this some thought already in anticipation of today’s conversation, but he still wasn’t sure what to ask the Church for. He intended for these conversations to be two-way, whether Vera realized it or not, where he slowly learned more about the Church, the city, and everything else. He also intended to keep spying on Vera, which could be considered a payment of sorts.
He decided to make one more quick attempt at coming up with a good demand to make of the Church. DM went back to square one with his thinking. What was certainly just as true in this world as in his previous world? He recalled the famous saying that the only two sure things in life are death and taxes. Well, for the moment he had inadvertently conquered death, but that was neither here nor there. Wait, taxes?
“…Vera, how do taxes work in this region?”
“Taxes? I know that the Church is exempt from most taxes so I couldn’t really say. I’ve never had to pay taxes myself…”
“…Do you know how the Church is exempt? Is that documented somehow?”
“I…” Vera thought back to her lessons, but she couldn’t remember ever learning the details on taxation or the Church’s formal standing in the Holy State. “I don’t know. If you don’t mind me asking, why would a monster be worried about taxes? I’m sure a monster has never paid taxes before…”
“…Vera, I’m going to teach you an important lesson about human nature. As ridiculous as it sounds for the Twin Cities to start taxing monsters, the moment some bureaucrat figures out a monster is able to pay taxes… he or she will find a way to start charging them.”
“That’s so difficult to believe… Oh! But I do believe you are able to pay taxes, unlike most monsters!”
“…Indeed. Especially now that I have this relationship with the Guild, it’s plain to see that taxes in some form are imminent.”
“Sorry, is this just another of your lessons, or did you want something from me?”
“…Vera, in exchange for sharing my knowledge with the Church, I want their help in helping me get out of paying taxes.”
“What?”
“…If the Church can dodge paying taxes, why shouldn’t I be able to?”
“The Church isn’t… dodging… paying taxes.”
“…Then neither am I. Ask the Church to apply whatever logic they want to help me out here.”
Vera didn’t know how that conversation would go, but she had no reason to object. “I’ll tell the Church when I get back to the city.”
“…Excellent. What is it you wanted to discuss? …We should have plenty of time. I’m keeping an eye on your party in the meantime.”
“I’m to learn everything I can, starting with more about gravity.”
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“…All right. Do you want to come to my chamber? …It feels a bit strange having all our conversations via a proxy in another room.”
Vera hesitantly agreed.
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For the rest of the day, DM instructed Vera on everything he remembered from his intro-level physics class, starting with units of measurement and basic math skills. He had figured out how to complete most mathematical calculations using his console, so he would complete the more tedious computations on Vera’s behalf when she set up the expression up correctly.
Vera was bright, and not all of this was entirely new, so she didn’t have too much difficulty picking it up. DM kept the lesson algebra-based even though he had taken a more advanced calculus-based course not too long before he died in the other world. He was confident in his ability to solve problems correctly, but he wasn’t sure if he would be able to teach fundamental calculus effectively. He’d save that for later.
Once Vera demonstrated an understanding of one-dimensional motion, he introduced a second dimension. He wasn’t sure what the acceleration due to gravity on this planet was, so he had to choose whether to give her ’10 meters per second squared’ or somehow determine the correct value. He asked her if she would prefer to just use a simple number for now or to complete an experiment to determine the actual value.
Vera requested quite eagerly to conduct an experiment rather than simply use a made-up number. For the first time, DM got the sense that Vera was letting her personality show. Normally, she was guarded and trying to look and act the way the Church wanted her to. Now, her natural inquisitiveness was winning out. Whether it was DM’s Socratic method of questioning, or his offer to figure out the true answer together, Vera was high on inquiry-based learning.
So, how could the pair figure out the acceleration due to gravity? The simplest method was probably to drop an object from a set height and then time it. Fortunately, DM had access to a timer using the console, and it seemed to be calibrated to the same seconds he was used to in the previous world. Recently, he had discovered a way to place a distance scale on the screen of his console as well. Putting the two together, he had the tools necessary to complete the experiment.
DM marked a line on the wall roughly opposite the top of his body, about four meters off the ground. With Vera’s permission, he lifted her off the floor and plopped her up top. To minimize time lag, he also brought the morphling up on top of his body so spoken words would get to Vera’s ears with only minimal delays.
Before they began, DM needed to practice the timing of getting the morphling to say something at just the right moment. After a few repetitions, he was ready. His appendage hovered over the console, ready to start the timer, just as Vera held a loose stone adjacent to the marked line on the wall. The morphling counted down to zero. At the same time as DM started the timer, Vera released the stone. DM stopped the timer just as the stone reached the floor.
“…From 4 meters up, it took 0.89 seconds. Even neglecting air resistance, that sounds about right.”
Vera furiously set up the formula and tried solving for the acceleration due to gravity. Her answer was 10.1 meters per second squared.
“…That’s pretty close to what I was expecting. Let’s just use ‘10’ to keep things simple.”
This basic experiment was hardly sufficient to determine the acceleration due to gravity with any precision, but it did show that gravity was at least quite similar between this world and Earth. They completed a few more trials and ultimately decided to just stick with ‘10’.
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After introducing projectile motion to Vera, she promised to return as soon as she could. After meeting up with her party, the relieved adventurers returned to the Twin Cities with Olivia. DM wasn’t quite sure how Vera was going to slip back into the dungeon, but she’d figure it out.
After another day of business as usual, DM turned his attention to Daphne’s party as they arrived at her home village. After exchanging a few words with the elves guarding the perimeter, she led her party, including a female fighter, a male swordsman, and a male white mage, all human, into the village.
A female elf, appearing in her late twenties, or perhaps thirties, noticed the group’s arrival and walked over. “Daphne, you’re back so soon.”
“Hi Alenia…” Daphne’s tone suggested she was not particularly happy to see the older elf.
Alenia glanced at each of Daphne’s human comrades. “Welcome. Any friend of Daphne’s is welcome in our village.”
The three adventurers nodded respectfully to Alenia. They each knew that Alenia was much older than she appeared. The two males also seemed to be overwhelmed by her beautiful appearance, but they did the best they could to hide that fact.
Alenia turned her gaze back to Daphne then paused as her eyes widened for a moment before narrowing down significantly. “Daphne, aren’t you a little young for… Oh.”
Daphne tilted her head while Alenia turned to look at a nearby elf who appeared to be in his upper teens or early twenties but was likely much older.
“Give Daphne’s friends a tour of the village.”
The male elf nodded and gestured for Daphne’s fellow party members to follow him.
Daphne wanted to stay with them and announced, “I can give them a tour—“
Alenia interrupted, “Daphne, come over here with me.”
“But—“
“Daphne.”
By then, the other adventurers had already started to walk away, eyes staring up at the sights of a city built into the forest, and they didn’t notice the tension between Daphne and Alenia.
Daphne gave up and walked away with Alenia. Once inside a house built into the trunk of a massive tree, Alenia sat down on a bed-sized cushion with her feet flat on the wooden floor.
“Daphne, I want you to tell me everything that happened on your journey."
Not seeing any reason to argue, Daphne sat down in a wooden rocking chair opposite Alenia and walked her through the sequence of events. Alenia did not interrupt, so the whole story took over an hour to tell. Daphne had glossed over what happened in the Lower Gordu Dungeon, just saying that they explored it for a bit before continuing on to the Twin Cities. She also didn’t mention that her party was saved by healing magic cast by tentacles.
“Daphne, I’m overjoyed that you and your friends survived those events. Had there been so much as a small scar on your body, I would have rounded up some of my contemporaries for a journey to the Twin Cities right now.”
“Oh, we’re fine now. It was scary, but the healers said we’re all 100% healthy and ready for more adventures.”
“But you chose to come back?”
“Yes…” Daphne elaborated on her misgivings, although she continued to leave DM’s role out of the discussion. Per Daphne’s explanation, realizing she had journeyed out too soon and placed others at risk, as well as herself, she realized she needs to slow down and approach life more cautiously.
“That’s wonderful, Daphne. I’d say you’ve grown by leaps and bounds.”
“Even so…” Daphne was reluctant to agree.
“There’s just one problem.”
“Problem?” It suddenly occurred to Daphne that Alenia was being surprisingly supportive throughout this conversation. Alenia was hardly an enemy, but she wouldn’t take hours out of her day just to provide a helping hand to Daphne, normally.
“You failed to mention anything about a tentacle monster.”