“Huh, what do I want to do when I grow up? Why are you asking me this now? Well, whatever, I think I’d like to travel overseas and volunteer to help people. I know it's a little silly, but I feel very lucky to be born here, and- emm, if there is a god, I’d like to think he wants me to give this luck back to the less fortunate. That’s why I try my best in school, I want all the tools I can get to help people. And what about you? You’ve always been a bit reserved when it comes to your future?” A high school girl awkwardly chuckled to the boy opposite her.

It was early morning Saturday. I was seated at a table opposite two high schoolers on what appeared to be a first date at Samishii Café, my hand occasionally drifting to my already cold coffee.

Coffee, not my vice of choice. The poison of a cigarette is the only thing good enough for me.

“Me? I’ll… my mother wants me to be a lawyer like my father. It's a good job, pays really well and it's respectable. My parents say that's all that matters, it's why I’m studying so hard to get into Law School. I don’t want to let them down, you know?” The high school boy replied, his voice hurriedly racing his answer out as if it were a hot potato that’d burn his true answer out from hiding if he were to keep it contained any longer.

I’m not really sure why I came here. It's the café Nao invited me to this afternoon, the invite I rejected. Yet here I am, 4 hours before they’ll both arrive, chat, laugh, and do whatever else those two do on their outings.

One of Hatsuko’s cards is to my left on the table, the other is in my apartment. I haven’t called the number. I think I still have time, but… I’m not sure.

Not sure if I want to ring. If I can ring.

“Oh, come on. That’s not your answer, that’s your parent’s. What do you want to be when you grow up?” The girl pressed, prompting a nervous laugh from the boy who was clearly scared imagining a future that might be his alone, and not controlled by anyone else.

My fingers tapped the beech wood table, Samishii Café was a cultural property, roughly eighty years old. The inside is furnished with wooden everything, the floors, tables, chairs, you can even drink your tea on the floor in traditional tatami seating, if you choose.

“I’m not sure, I’m more worried about our test next week. Have you been studying for it, if you want you could come round mine and we can study together? Only if you want to, though.” The boy replied, both worry and hope adorned his face as he awaited her reply.

There’s an adjoining garden to the left of me, the door is a few metres back and connects to a porch that cuts off into a path through the hidden oasis of cherry blossoms tree pinks, azalea flower reds and purples, and the whites and violets of hydrangeas.

“Hey, don’t change the subject! Focus on the matter at hand, what do YOU want to do?” The girl raised her voice, not letting the boy get away with avoiding the topic.

I picked up the business card. Hatsuko’s name and number are inscribed in bold golden text, her title of Talent Manager written above them. I found it a little strange that there was no talent agency name anywhere on this, was Hatsuko an independent manager? Did they even exist in this day and age? Does it matter?

No, not really. A talent agency would increase the chance of success, but since when did I care about success? Seina might have told Takamura that her dream was once to be an idol, but Seina is built upon the foundation of lies. What’s one more brick of a lie in her construction?

I dialled the number, it started to ring.

“I already told you! I want to be a lawyer, stop bugging me about this. You’re treating me like a child, I’m not your younger brother, stop babying me. I can make decisions on my own.” The boy replied, his voice more accusing and harsher than he’d meant it to sound, but his words were real to him, not to anyone else though.

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

It continued to ring, once, twice… soon thrice.

“Ah! You’re always like this, letting her control you! Why can’t you just make your own choices for once, and stop getting angry at me for trying to help you! If you knew how to make the right decisions, I wouldn’t have to say anything, but you DON’T, so I do!” She retorted, her voice full of held in frustration that had just burst like a dam undrained for too long.

The ringing stopped, and the phone was picked up. “Hatsuko Tsukumo, Talent Manager, who is it I’m speaking with?” Came the reply from the phone.

“Hey-” Was all I managed to say before she cut me off, “Seina! Hello there, I’d recognise that emotionless voice anywhere. You’re calling a little late, I did say ring before Saturday, but it's fine. Rehearsals don’t start till 1 p.m., so you’ve still got time to get there. Oh right, I suppose I should ask if you agree? But you wouldn’t call if you didn’t, would you?” She concluded her rapid-fire conversation with a rhetorical question, either she truly believed I’d already agreed, or there was no doubt in her mind anyone would ever say no to her, I couldn’t tell.

“Letting her control me?” He returned the tension back towards the high school girl, “You mean my mother? The woman who birthed and raised me? Yeah, so what? What’s your excuse, you’re as bad as her, always telling me to do this and that, to follow what I want. Well, what I want is for you to get off my back!” His voice shot back at her, this match of tone between the two heating up and now drawing the ire of the few customers here at this early morning.

“Seinaaaa~?” Hatsuko called out.

“Sorry- and yes. I agree.”

The girl stood up and threw her cup to the ground with tears in her eyes, “Shut up! You don’t know anything about me. All I want is to help you, you think I don’t notice how sad you look? I’m not blind, for god sake, but all you do is push me away, and it hurts! It hurts so fucking much, I- I should have given up on you. You’re a whirlpool of depression and you’re dragging me down with you. I can’t do this anymore, I’m done. Find someone else to drown with you, I’m leaving.” And with those words left behind, the girl who couldn’t have been more than 16, turned on her heel and walked out of the Café, the remains of the broken cup crunching under her shoes, much like her relationship with the boy.

Hatsuko let out a slightly overzealous sigh, “Phew, I knew you’d say that, but it's good to get confirmation. After all, some people have a habit of rejecting things that benefit them. Be it pride, anger, ego- ah, I suppose ego and pride are the same thing, aren’t they? Oh well, send me your address and I’ll come and pick you up, don’t worry about clothes, obviously wear some, but nothing crazy, something you can take off and on easily. I’ve already prepared an outfit for you, first impressions matter a lot, and your fellow actors will think you’re an unknown talent, so you’ll need to look the part. Got it?”

More lying? That’s fine, preferable even. I’m good at lying, fitting in as the final piece of the puzzle, or the first, maybe the middle piece? It doesn’t matter, I can play them all.

“Yes.”

“Perfect, where at you?” She replied already completely used to my tone of speech.

“Samishii Café, in Shimokitazawa.”

I heard the start of an engine, it was too loud to be a car, most likely a van or truck of some sort, “Shimokitazawa? At this time? It's going to take me a few minutes, but it's fine, see you in a bit, Seina.” She ended the call.

“Sir, you’re going to have to pay for the damages caused by your partner.” A waitress regretfully said to the disheartened high school boy sitting slumped over at the table.

He remained looking at the floor, his meek voice barely cutting over the low chatter in the café, “Yeah, sorry about her. This isn’t the first time we’ve gone through this…”

The waitress respectfully nodded at the boy before leaving to collect the bill, but it was clear she didn’t really hear him over his fragile state.

It seemed like not many people did, well, maybe that high school girl did. But she’s already run away, hasn’t she?

I suppose it's not that surprising when you look at it from the outside…

After all, some people have a habit of rejecting things that benefit them

Isn’t that right.