Prologue: Let's just get this out of the way.
???: *yawn* well guess someone finally showed up. Goodie. In case you couldn't tell, that was sarcasm. But I guess it's harder to tell when you are reading something. Anyways welcome to the series. This is going to be so much fun.
Jaquelin: oh! Guess I should introduce myself. I'm Jaquelin, but you can just call me Jaq. Now before we start, I need to give some handy exposition. Long ago, the devil and god got hammered while seeing 2012. I don't blame them. That movie fucking sucked. Anyways, they were so drunk, they gave each other the old in and out. They ended up ditching the little crotch goblin that resulted from this on some humans. Fast forward a bit, and now we have an almighty otaku. Of course, soon the parents of the year try and come back with the milk and so much bullshit ensues. Now you may be wondering, what does this have to do with this story? Absolutely nothing. This is not the story about Rika, Izzy or Joseph Stalin. This is about me and my family and our wild adventures. Ladies, Gentlemen, and everything in between. I give you... Chaotic Family!... can I go now?
*Pumpkin Jack walks up*
Pumpkin Jack: no, there's still more exposition!
* Jaquelin rolls her eyes and leaves*
Pumpkin Jack: well...guess it's up to me. So this is my story. It's all about how I met Rika and the gang, started my own family, and even saved the universe a couple times. Now I know your probably saying, "please don't be an over powered character.", to which I respond, too bad so sad. Now let's get this out of the way. That bearded fool, God, and that edgy Devil don't stand a chance against me. And Rika, well I'll admit she could get a couple decent hits on me, but she still has a long way to go. I'm being as humble as I can when I say this….but I'm the best and strongest one there is. Now that the prologue is out of the way let's get to the real story.
Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.
Chapter 1: So...this may have been my fault
Pumpkin Jack: Man, life is so boring. Why the heck can't I just do whatever I want. That bald beardie will be all like, "you can't destroy the balance". Screw the balance.
*A whistle comes from his phone*
Pumpkin Jack: ooo! My twitter feed updated
*He checks his phone*
Pumpkin Jack: hmm, it's from that furry. "Going out with the gang to see 2012. #Endofworld #highhopes" Hehe, guess I should warn them *begins typing* Bring plenty of drinks, trust me you'll need them. Aaaand send! Well, I hope they have fun. Now let's see, what I should do….I got nothing.
*Checks his mail*
Pumpkin Jack: Bills, jury duty, court summons, irs. Man it's all junk again! *sits down on his couch* well at least I still got anime
*Hours past*
Pumpkin Jack: Haha, I still can't get enough of Broly. He's the best
*A whistle comes from his phone again*
Pumpkin Jack: yay! More nonsense to entertain myself. Hmmm, oh crap! "Just got pregnant cause of how hammered we were. Just dumping off with some humans #ScrewParenting #ThanksJack" It's not my fault y'all had to give it to each other! You know what, who cares. It's not like this kid will be a big deal anyways....screw parenting? Heh, I'll show them. I know what I'll do. I'm going to adopt!
*A group of government insurgents break into his house and surround him*
Pumpkin Jack: hey! This is the third time this week. And it's only Monday!
Squad Leader: Pumpkin Jack, you are under arrest for various crimes against the United States Government.
Pumpkin Jack: what crimes. Wait don't say anything yet. There's enough of those to fill up Chapter 2.
Squad Leader: w-what?