“Guys, there’s really no need to look so guilty about it,” Ben sighed. “I really don’t care about whatever you all felt you had to do in the ancient history of this planet.”
“Both Myriad and Helori showed up long after it was done anyway, those two are guiltless,” Nare said. “There were a lot of reasons we felt justified in it, we were all desperate when we first arrived after having lost so much, we just wanted whatever bit of security we could get.”
“None of us blame you, Nare,” Helori consoled. “It’s a feeling every one of us felt when we made our way here, a couple sacrifices… Well, what’s done is done and it did help. Empty skies, it went beyond expectations, didn’t it? The system works better than intended.”
“And juvenile gods are no different from animals,” Myriad added. “Nothing to feel too guilty about.”
“Or infants,” Nare countered. “They had no choice but to figure things out for themselves which is why they’d take so long to manage their sapience and grow farther from there, and I’d helped take their future. Whatever the reason, the crime is mine no matter what came from it.”
“Okay, but I wasn’t bringing this up to make any of you feel bad,” Ben told them. “Sure, maybe that was a pretty utilitarian way of managing things but seeing as how it did in fact work out as intended and was for the express purpose of helping everyone else is something I can’t exactly judge you for.”
“Then what was the point of bringing it up at all?” Nare asked in the end as he pushed past the memories of just what he’d done.
“I want all of the information you have on how the system was built and functions, obviously.”
The statement got him some strong reactions but he didn’t really care. That was something he’d wanted for a while, being kept from him because it supposedly involved things mortals weren’t meant to know. Seeing as how he’d figured out that that something was the choice and sacrifice the gods had made to produce it, there was officially nothing to keep him from using that information to his benefit.
Whether it was right or wrong, whether the gods had slayed divine beasts or infants, none of it mattered at that point. He may not have known if he’d have been willing to do the same in that situation but he wasn’t going to be judgmental about it. He hadn’t been in the same impossible situation and if he somehow managed to live past the third wave to see whatever horrors would be left beyond it, he was sure he’d be willing to cross plenty of ethical lines by then as well.
Maybe even a lot sooner than that.
He ignored that thought as it squirmed in his head, instead just wiggling his fingers, waiting for Nare to give in as the god just shook his head and materialized a library of books for Ben to read through, thousands of them on that one singular topic.
“Okay, sweet, you’re the best. And since it looks like I’m going to be busy for a little while, sorry but could I ask you two to do me a favour and explain what happened to me to any other relevant gods? Maybe mention the few thousand prisoners I’d dragged to the planet and how the new blessing on my soul wasn’t my idea and that I haven’t been turned traitor by a demon god? Pretty pretty please?”
“Alright,” Helori nodded, content to brush past the apostle's elusive sense of ethics. “This is probably the sort of thing we’d best manage sooner than later so we’ll be back in a bit.”
“Mmh, I’m sure this is going to end in another meeting so Myriad, best start thinking on how you want to approach things. There’s going to be a few angry voices aimed at the boy.”
“There always is,” The cube muttered as the two left, expecting Ben to jump straight into work from there but getting something completely different as the boy's face slipped, the relatively positive attitude changing to one far more worried as he began pacing around. “Ben?”
“Myriad, can you be honest with me? Like, really really honest?”
“I’m always honest with you, Ben. Now what’s going on?”
“Man, I hope that’s true, but okay, sure. In that case, am I your apostle or am I your friend?”
“What? You’re both, now what’s this about?”
“No, I need you to pick one. When you think of who I am to you, am I your apostle first or your friend first?”
Myriad still had no clue where that was coming from but he could see how heavily the question was weighing on the mortal with him, giving the god no choice but to give his promised answer.
“You are my friend, Ben. As much of a pain as you can be, I didn’t spend the last month worrying about you because of the prospect I might need someone to fill your role.”
“I see. That’s good, that’s good, you’re my friend too,” He sighed, even if that alone wasn’t enough to clear his concerns. “In that case, I have a question I want to ask you as a friend so just remember what you said before about always being honest with me buddy. Whatever the answer is… Well, I won’t judge and we can talk about whatever the history might be, we can figure something out, okay?”
“Ben, seriously, what are you-”
“Are you related to Oaun?”
“What? The demon god you encountered? No!”
“Really?”
“Yes!”
“But like, really really?”
“Yes, really! Ben, I have no clue where this is coming from or what could have possibly made you worry about that.”
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
“Okay, that’s good,” He said in relief, almost collapsing in it. “That’s really good. I was only a little incredibly worried.”
“But why?”
“You look like him.”
“Angular?”
“To my sacrilege,” Ben told him as he tapped an eye. “It’s hard to explain but when I looked at him, he looked more like you than any other god I’ve ever seen, give or take a few billion times more power on his part.”
That wasn’t something Myriad knew how to respond to, leaving him silent as Ben went on.
“I mean, I was worried about it but there were some flaws in that idea too so it wasn’t like a sure thing. If I was kidnapped to serve as a replacement for your world since he never got a trophy from it when all of your people sacrificed themselves then it wouldn’t make sense for you guys to be related. Although it has its drawbacks, if I got a yes I was one hundred percent going to try and get you to at least save a few people for me.”
“Well unfortunately for you, that’s not happening, we’re all as stuck as everyone else so just do your best now that you’re back.”
“Yeah,” Ben muttered, taking a lower tone again as he got up and with a jump, perched himself atop his god before laying back on him. “You know, with how often I see Helori up here I honestly thought you’d be comfier. Are you sure it isn’t a sex thing between you guys?”
“It’s not. If you’d ever seen how my species reproduces there’s a decent chance you wouldn’t even recognize it as sex in the first place.”
“Gross.”
“Like your way of doing it is any better.”
“Ha, maybe…” He trailed off from there, content to lay in silence for a while with neither of them speaking, sharing just a moment of quiet until Ben broke it. “One last question for you buddy. It’s not as important, it’s just… would you die for this world if that might save it?”
“Yes.”
“No hesitation, huh? I like that, it suits the collective consciousness of a species that was willing to blow themselves up.”
“Where’s that coming from?”
“Oh, you know, the usual place. I have a lot of respect for your feeling on the topic, but I’m not the same. I don’t want to die for this world, Myriad.”
“Nobody’s asking you to, Ben.”
“Yeah, and nobody should. I was dragged here to fight, abandoned and forgotten until the second I started looking useful and even despite that have been doing my best for the place. I’ve been making weapons and gates, I’ve been awakening people and I’ve even gone and strengthened the entire planet. I’ve played my part. Fuck, more than my part, nobody could have expected a fraction of this much from me but I pulled it off anyway. The idea that I should need to do more is outrageous.”
“You’re right and if you don’t want to then I’ll make sure nobody gets to ask you to Ben. You’ve done enough, you deserve to rest.”
“Rest, huh?” He laughed. “Myriad, I’m going to tell you a little secret here, one nobody on this whole stupid world wants to believe. This isn’t going to end until we’re all dead. The fraction I’d seen of how many demons there are and how many planets they have, there’s no reason to think they’d just give up if we put up an okay fight.”
“There’s nothing to show they won’t either. No matter how many planets they have, they can only have so many awakened skill holders for the third wave. Myself and the rest of the gods, we’ll be giving everything we have to make sure that this world holds up for it through that one.”
“Yeah, and the sort of power you guys can spend is nothing compared to Oaun. When I was stuck there Myriad, Even I could feel the sheer strength of the divinity he gave off. If we really did look like too much of a threat then I have no doubt he could destroy this entire planet and he’s not like some evil god you guys may have gotten mortals to help deal with in whatever messed up pasts your planets had. This isn’t something mortals can go up against and win, no matter how many of you are on our side, and that’s just looking at the one god. You know that with all of the planets they have there has to be more. Hell, the demon that kidnapped me alone had two ninth-leveled awakened skills. There’s no winning this.”
Myriad was quiet for a moment, taking in all his apostle said as Ben caught his breath. He knew the boy was right, that they were operating on hope, but in the end it was all they had, all they could offer to the people who gave them faith. Even if they were wrong, that only meant that they’d just have to inflict as much damage as they could for whatever that would be worth.
“Even if that’s true Ben, in the end, there’s no reason that should be your problem. Enjoy what time you have left on the world with your friends and lover, you’ve done more than enough.”
“Yeah, I have but here I am needing to do more. The king of sacrilege himself, that’s me, someone on the edge of what might be the perfect skill to take on an evil god. Sure would have been nice to have that on a decent warrior or mage, huh? Definitely not a craftsman.”
“I feel the need to point out that you are in fact an excellent mage. Literally one of the best on the planet.”
“Ha, you got me there. It only took me a couple years to get to that point too. I am, by all accounts, an unparalleled genius. This world is blessed to have me.”
“I don’t know why you’re being sarcastic about it, you’re right.”
“...Well, maybe, but it’s still not enough. If I want to save the world then I need to play to my strengths though, which means by the beginning of the next wave I need to somehow manage to have two third-tier skills. That doesn’t sound too impossible, does it?”
“Mmh, for anyone else it would be. There’s only been two others who managed that and one was a soul mage who used their power to strengthen their own skills when they weren’t strengthening others and neither of the two managed to do both in the same year.”
“Ah, but all that matters is it’s possible. You thought I was working myself to death before Myriad? Just watch. I’m going to be optimizing my existence for the next year to make this happen.”
“Fine, fine, I know there’s no point in trying to make you quit so then what’s the second one?”
“Hmm?”
“The second skill you’re awakening again. King of sacrilege and…?”
“Ah, that. Rejoice Myriad, you’re incredible apostle is going to raise your name to even greater heights with it. Just think, the first person in the universe to get connect is also going to be the first to get it to the third tier. Sounds pretty exciting, doesn’t it? If getting to the second got me that destined holder title then I wonder what getting the third will land me?”
“And as flattered as I am, I don’t see the point compared to a few others. Your material manipulation would probably be a bit more useful.”
“Nah, I gotta play to my strengths, even if I do have a bit of a gamble tied into it. Skills merge when they grow. I may not have gotten it at the first awakening but so long as it properly merges with my enchanting then I should be able to enchant using the skills of the other third-tier holders too. Tie in whatever I can get from them with the effects of whatever I can force king of sacrilege into and I just might have half a chance of not immediately dying, right?”
“I think you’re counting on an awful lot going your way for all of that to work out.”
“Maybe, but what choice do I have? It’s either do nothing and know that we’ll all lose and die or do something and… well, still be basically certain that we’ll all lose and die, but with the heartfelt knowledge that I at least did everything I could beforehand, right? Besides, I think at this point the universe owes me a little luck. Maybe it will feel generous and start paying it off a bit.”
Neither of them believed it but both acted like they did for the little good any fake positivity would do for the other and with nothing else to do, Ben got to his reading, learning all he could to let him continue to grow in the hope that would create a path for a real solution to show itself.