Slipping off early the next day, Ben’s first stop was to his research center, expecting to be alone when he got there but getting the surprise of seeing someone else so early in the morning.
“Kufno, what the heck are you doing here this hour?”
“Ah Ben,” His employee greeted. “I’ve just been organizing some of our records, if I’d known you were going to be showing up today I would have tried to get them touched up days ago.”
“You really don’t need to worry too much about it, I don’t expect you or anyone else to put in more than the agreed hours.”
“I’m simply an early riser who enjoys an interesting problem,” The man shrugged. “And there aren’t any more interesting around than this.”
“True enough, just don’t feel obligated to do anything extra you don’t need to, I’ll feel like a slave driver.”
“Ha, I’ll keep that in mind. So may I show you to our newest records then?”
“Ah, in a second, that’s only half the reason I’m here.”
Expending a fair chunk of his power, Ben materialized multiple books, all filled with information on the sections he believed were solved before placing them on the table to the side.
“The gods and I believe we have a pretty decent grasp on a couple portions of the spell, we’d just need them to be tested a bit. Along with the background knowledge I’ve outlined a few experiments to be run to test against some of the assumptions we have in there so if you and your team could read through those and run them when you get the chance I’d appreciate it. If it works then we’re about to have a giant leap forward in progress.”
“In that case, I’ll make reading the priority for the next two days and we’ll move onto experimentation once everyone at least has the background information.”
“You’re the best. So with that out of the way I’ll get my reading done quick and get out of your hair.”
He went to the shelves of documents from there, raising swaths of them into the air and letting pages flutter past his eyes as he took in the available information, already seeing areas that would either verify or else hint towards the accuracy of some of the predictions he’d already made, acting as more points of data that whatever was happening within the recesses of his subconscious was at least managing to be helpful.
Even if it would be cool if the fundamental way I think didn’t keep changing with every little thing.
There was no god around to comment on the idea that staring through the universe to the chaos beyond was just some little thing and with the only noises in his head being his swarm of thoughts, he bid his goodbyes to Kufno, off to see if he could get some answers to the new, strange feature of his status.
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“Heeey Verbum!”
The other summoned met Ben’s happy greeting with a quiet stare for a second before breaking down to a tired sigh.
“I’m assuming it’s witness of chaos you want me looking at this time?”
“Pretty please buddy.”
“Anything I can use to narrow it down a bit first?”
“Unfortunately not.”
“Fine, let’s get this over with.”
With Verbum resigned enough to Ben’s request that he didn’t bother putting up a fight, Ben was able to take in mounds of information as he prompted the record holder to move at ever-greater speeds, letting Ben take in more all the faster to let the other enjoy his peace, even if what he was seeing was going to require some interpretation on his part.
He knew about the nature of his mind, at least to a greater degree than an average person, and he knew all there was to know about the chaos that the gods of the world and the grey beyond it could teach, all he had to do was fit those bits of knowledge into the things he was reading through Verbum’s eyes.
But it wasn’t easy. He didn’t know why the system would spit out so much seemingly unrelated information to mostly straightforward questions, being forced to assume that it was seeing things and connections that he just wasn’t. The only other assumption he could make was that it was making mistakes, something he’d prefer not to believe, not only because it wouldn’t be helpful, but because it would call into question everything he would learn that way.
And I’d like to at least do Nare the courtesy of not operating on the assumption that his masterpiece is full of errors, but… I’m pretty sure that would be better for me than what I think I’m actually reading.
Cutting through the seemingly meaningless sections, Ben was left with something, more of an implication than a certainty as he looked through it all. An implication that that brief window to the chaos may not have just changed him, but could still be changing him, slowly adapting him to it in the way certain outsiders would manage to in order to survive that mad realm, with the implication of it leaving him more worried than anything.
So it looks like this blessing didn’t come from some external factor but instead it's my soul's reaction to being exposed to it? So then why isn’t it listed as a passive skill? I guess there’s a chance I’ve been affected by something leaking in from the chaos itself, but Thera was right beside me when it happened, if I was going to be affected then so should she. Does it literally just come down to the difference being that I witnessed it in a way she didn’t?
And this does lead to a few other pretty big questions for me. It seems like it's going to keep changing me instead of being a one-time effect. But how? Is it just going to keep acting on my subconscious mind? Is it just going to make me better equipped for dealing with the chaos if I ever encounter it again in the future? I don’t think it should be having a physical effect by the looks of it, thank god. No turning into some sort of eldritch monstrosity for Ben this time. Of course, it would be entering the chaos that might do that, not adapting to survive it so maybe this will be a good thing if I ever fall out of reality?
…Please, if there is some sort of omnipotent, omniscient god secretly watching over the multiverse, don’t let me fucking fall out of reality.
On a last note, it does make me wonder how it would interact with the outsider job if I were to ever take it. Would it speed up the changes I’m going through or alter them in some way? Maybe even making new changes? Wow, I hate that I’m feeling curious about this. Note to self, try to take some of the other more useful or interesting jobs before I ever get to that point.
Everything he’d read brought a lot to his mind to think about and consider, but in the end of it all he couldn’t escape the worry the change provoked in him as he was forced to confront some unknown, deep changes to his subconscious thoughts.