Author's Note: Sorry. The hiatus was a bit longer than I expected. Hahaha... I have no excuses.
While You Were Gone Part 1
As I waited in Cielle’s room, I quietly thought over the words she left behind.
“She told me to relax, but…” Since this whole mess started, relaxation has been the last thing on my mind. Rather, it was practically impossible to relax given the situation I constantly found myself in. These past couple of months have been nothing but stressful scenario after stressful scenario. Finding time to relax in between fending of cannibals and hunting monsters is a rather difficult thing to do.
Nevertheless, taking Cielle’s suggestion seriously, I blew out an overdrawn sigh, as I leaned my head back into the pillow, and squirmed myself deeper into the foam of the mattress. A faint scent, one that I found both familiar and foreign, faintly drifted towards my head, causing me to unconsciously crinkle my nose.
The scent wasn’t unpleasant, rather, in a way, it was the opposite. It somehow set my mind at ease, while causing my heart to flutter at the same time. It wasn’t as overpowering a smell as sweat, but it was something similar. It was a girl’s scent, specifically Cielle’s.
The moment this realization dawned on me, I once again acknowledged that I was in a rather novel situation right now. For the first time in my life, I was in a girl’s bedroom. If the situation and circumstances were any different, I would probably be going crazy with nervousness and anticipation right now.
I stared absentmindedly at the ceiling above me.
Unfortunately, whether I liked it or not, I was numb to the whole experience. Maybe it was due to all the things I went through these past couple of months, but my heart was strangely at ease. Unlike a normal, hormone induced teenager, I felt no heart palpitating excitement, nor palm sweating nervousness.
Now, if the person herself was present, then it would be a totally different situation. It was probably due to all the affection she openly displayed, but Cielle had a way that affected me in the most juvenile ways possible.
Thinking about it carefully, it was the first time in my life I’ve ever been as close to a girl, as I was with Cielle. Even the apocalypse wasn’t enough to divert my realization from this fact. The uncertainty, the abrupt sensation of nervousness, the slight trace of happiness whenever I talked to her… this feeling, was this what first love felt like?
In certain ways, Cielle was an enigma to me, and I was currently in the room of that enigma. Thankfully, without the person herself, nothing weird happened. This bedroom was just another ordinary bedroom.
In fact, Cielle’s bedroom looked a lot like my own.
As my eyes unconsciously scanned through the room’s interior, I quickly noticed how sparsely decorated everything was. Save for the standard furniture, such as the desk and the night stand, Cielle’s bedroom was completely empty. My room was decorated in much the same way, so I didn’t really find it all that odd, it's just that, it was completely different from the idealized image I had of a girl’s bedroom.
As I was looking around, through the corner of my eye, I saw an old, and weathered hard cover book peaking out from underneath the nightstand next to the foot of the bed. Upon closer inspection, the book turned out to be an old photo album.
Normally, the photo album would have been completely hidden under the night stand, but the night stand had been accidentally moved from its original position. This was evident from the imprint of dust on the floor next to the night stand.
I absentmindedly blinked as I stared at the dust filled photo album. Suddenly, a million thoughts and desires raced through my head in what felt like less than a fraction of a second. Honestly speaking, I was quite tempted. I was held back by my own standards of right and wrong, but the allure of seeing Cielle as a child was tempting me like a cool glass of water on a hot sunny day.
I knew it was rather improper, and went against what little moral integrity I had left, but...
In the end, with the excuse that reading through her photo album would help me relax, I willingly chose to plunge myself into degeneracy.
Smacking my lips in anticipation, with actions that could neither be described as too fast nor too slow, I reached over for the photo album, and brought it towards me. As I opened the book, the first image I saw was that of a young woman with a baby in her arms.
The woman looked to be in her mid twenties, and had black hair similar to Cielle’s. While her overall appearance was that of a beautiful woman, her complexion was somewhat pale, while her hair was haggard.Within her eyes, I could see a mixture of obvious stress and fatigue. Yet, despite that, the love and affection within her gaze was apparent. Her eyes, rather than staring out into the camera, was fixated on the baby nestled within her arms. The baby itself, was wrapped in a bundle of blankets. Only her round, slightly reddish head was visible.
Even without any confirmation, I could instantly tell that the baby was Cielle. The woman in the picture was probably her mother. The resemblance between the the woman and the current Cielle was definitely apparent.
Considering it was a picture of Cielle as a baby, Hina probably wasn’t born yet. If I remember correctly, Cielle should be a little bit over a year older than Hina.
With absentminded thoughts, I flipped to the next page.
The next picture was, again, another baby picture. This time, it was of Cielle alone. She was sleeping in what looked like a crib. Her eyes were shut closed, and a faint trace of drool was flowing freely down from her slightly opened mouth.The image after that was that of baby Cielle happily playing with her mother. The mother, while still looking a bit worn out, happily sported on a smile as she stared blissfully at the daugher in front of her.
Flipping the next page, I saw another picture of Cielle. This time, she looked to be around 1 to 2 years old. Hair had started growing on her head. While it wasn’t to the level of her current self, her hair had already grown quite long, covering up the majority of her forehead. Flipping through the next few pages, the photos all consisted of Cielle, and occasionally her mother. Her age gradually increased from that to a baby to that of a preschooler as I progressed through the book.
By the time I reached what I thought was Cielle in her early elementary school years, I noticed that her hair had grown out. It was long, and traveled all the way to her back, but unlike now, her jet black hair did not cover her face, nor was it as tangled and messy as it was today. In the photo in front of me, Cielle was standing in front of the exit to an amusement park. Her hair was pinned back with a butterfly clip, and was styled into a ponytail. Her smiling expression, unhindered by neither hair nor sadness, filled the whole picture. There was some ice cream smudged below her lips, but that did not obstruct how cute she looked.
Her bright expression was quite a rare sight to see, and I mentally memorized it as I flipped to the next page.
“Oh, this is…”
The next image was that of Cielle and Hina.
Hina and Cielle were standing in front of a house. The Cielle here looked a little bit older than the one in the previous picture, maybe by 1 to 2 years. She was standing a little bit away from Hina. Both girls looked awkward within the picture, and neither one of them sported a smile. As expected of Hina though, even though she had a rather apathetic expression in the picture, I had to admit, she still looked cuter than the most children.
I continued to flip through the album. Unlike the previous images, the photos I browsed through now consisted of Hina and Cielle. The majority of the pictures were of Cielle, but a good majority of them were of Cielle and Hina together.
I inwardly frowned. I noticed that Cielle was smiling less and less as I progressed through the photo album.
At the end of the photo album, the last picture was taped to the inside of the back cover. Going by the time stamp, it was recently taken. It was a picture of Cielle. She was standing in front of the entrance to a building. At first glance, the building was rather familiar. It took me a moment to realize the building she was standing in front of was the same building we were currently in.
Dressed up in a high school uniform, Cielle was in front of the doorway, apathetically waving her hand towards the camera. Her hair hanged down over most of her face, like a curtain blocking out the rest of the world.
I closed the album, and quietly placed it back where I found it.
I quietly shut my eyes, as I leaned back against the bed, silently pondering over the album’s contents. I had a nagging feeling in the back of my head. Something about the album was bothering me. Rather, there were several points I found rather odd. For one, there was Cielle’s obvious shift in attitude. What had happened in between those pictures? There was also Hina’s first appearance. Although Hina was only about a year younger than Cielle, why did she appear so late in the album?
And finally, there was Cielle’s mother... Why did Cielle’s mother abruptly stop appearing halfway through the album?
Before I could think about this any further, the bedroom door suddenly creaked open, causing me to subconsciously jump in my seat.
“Hmm? What’s wrong?” Cielle lightly asked from the doorway.
“Ah, no, it’s nothing. I was just trying to, um, relax.” I hastily answered back, hoping that she didn’t notice my eyes subconsciously darting back and forth between her and the photo album under the night stand.
She paused for a moment, her mouth curving into a curious smile, before she lightly nodded her head. She continued forward, moving her body into the room. She was unsteadily balancing a serving tray filled with food in one hand, while she fumbled around with the door handle in the other.
After some struggling, she finally managed to enter the room and close the door behind her.
“I brought you something to eat.” Cielle spoke in a soft, almost whisper-like voice. She extended her arms out and presented the tray in front of me, with a sort of quiet excitement in her step.
On top of the tray was a simple combination, consisting of a bowl of rice porridge, canned meat, pickled vegetables, and a glass of water. Looking closely, I could tell that the rice porridge was freshly heated, while the meat and vegetables had been refried.
Although the food was simple, seeing it was enough to make me temporarily lose my mind. In addition, the faint, savory smell it emitted was turning my eyes blurry and making my mouth salivate. It was an almost instant reminder as to how hungry I had been during the last couple of days.
Seeing my almost comical, over the top reaction, Cielle bobbed her head forward in satisfaction. She gingerly handed the tray over to me. With little hesitation, I wasted no time attacking the meal in front of me..
“Thanks,” I responded in between mouthfuls of porridge and meat. The urgency in which I ate was conveyed almost as clearly as how sloppily I was at eating. But things like delicacy and mannerism were one of the last things on my mind right now. My attention was fully focused on the sensation of porridge draining into my esophagus and down to my stomach.
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
At about half way through the tray, I finally regained some semblance of rationality. With peering eyes, I looked back up over at the only other person in the room with me.
Cielle was seated on the bed, almost right next to me. She was staring back at me with an almost bemused expression on her face. I don’t know how long she had been staring, but it was enough to light a tiny bit of embarrassment within my heart. I coughed once, almost choking on a mouthful of meat and rice, before I fixed my posture and ate, this time, at a much slower, and more controlled pace.
I ate silently for a little while. Cielle, who sat with me the entire time, would make brief comments, or ask short questions like, “Is it good?”, “Did you like the rice?” or “I cooked it myself.” She spoke about unimportant, little things like that, almost as if she was trying to fill in the silence. Every Time, I’d respond with a brief grunt, or some form of throat noise in between bites.
Eventually though, her questions stopped. It seemed as if she was content with just watching me eat. The ensuing silence, was almost calming. I did not look back up at her, but I knew she was here with me. It was her presence alone that brought a warm comfort and familiarity to the room. In my heart, I deeply noted the current feeling I had, and contrasted it with the loneliness from yesterday.
As the quiet atmosphere persisted, stray thoughts whizzed by my mind. Sometimes they stuck like flies to a fly trap, while other thoughts just came and passed by. One of the things that did persistently stick to me, was the photo album. The questions I had before simmered and festered, filling me with an almost unhealthy desire to know.
“Hey Cielle…” I started, before trailing off, not sure how to continue the conversation.
“Yeah?” She responded in her usual, simple way.
“I…” The words caught in my throat. The curiosity I had, was like rushing water in front of a stone wall. They were stopped just before they could break through the dam and come to life as words. I did not know where to begin, and the slight feeling of guilt for looking over at her things still lingered within my mind, shackling me down even further.
“... nevermind. It was nothing.” I eventually dismissively said as I stuffed another spoonful into my mouth.
“...” I could feel Cielle’s stare boring down at the top of my head. The sweat running down my back, the goosebumps forming on my eyes, I felt exposed in front of her eyes. It felt like an eternity before she finally responded, “Alright. If you ever want to talk, you know I’ll always…”
“Yeah.” I replied back, almost automatically. Driven by nervous guilt, my response came out in a frantic rush. I gulped down a tense breath of air, before I swallowed a spoonful of porridge, and responded, “Thanks.”
A short while later, the tray in front of me was empty, and my stomach was mildly satisfied.
I stared up at Cielle from the head of the bed. The worries and concerns from earlier were all pushed to the back of mind as I shifted gears. My gaze gradually turned serious, as I took a deep breath, and spoke with a slightly firm tone, “Alright. Now tell me, what happened while I was away? And where is the rest of the group?”
Cielle paused briefly, before she responded with a nod. Her gaze was fixated on her lap as she responded in her quiet, whisper-like voice. “Alright. Since I promised Hide, then I’ll tell you, about what happened after we were separated…”
****
(Pov Change)
After they ran away from the manticore, following Cielle and Hide’s earlier agreement, the group eventually arrived at Cielle’s apartment building.
Like they had originally agreed upon, the group had planned to wait within the building for four days. For the first three days, that was their original intention. They stayed inside the building, never once leaving its confines. Occasionally, they would search through the apartment suites for any food and other supplies, or practice their skills within the empty rooms, but no matter what, they made it an explicit rule to never take a single step outside of the building.
They had knowingly confined themselves, and unknowingly allowed all the fear, tension and bottled up emotions to fester and build up.
While the feeling of suffocation gradually increased as the minutes, hours, and days passed by, they took small comfort in knowing it was all a far cry from the sensation of trapped misery they had all experienced first hand from the school. Compared to the dungeon, something like this wasn’t even worth mentioning.
Still, under such stress and constant pressure, the uncomfortable feeling gradually built up, quickly morphing into nervous anxiety and unhealthy paranoia.
Eventually, it was the President who first succumbed to the atmosphere permeating throughout the group. The feeling of nervousness, the loss of someone important, the looming sense of death, it all just built up, stacked one after another until it finally broke under the weight of everything. But out of all of the mix of emotions that swirled around in his head, what he could not stand the most was the feeling of lethargy.
He hated the feeling of not doing anything, of just sitting there and waiting, twiddling his thumbs doing nothing while danger or whatever else slowly creeped closer.
As the end of the third day came and with no Hide in sight, he was the first to propose a plan. Rather, it was bigger than that. The whole group had avidly avoided it, but on the third day, he finally brought up the possibility of Hide never arriving on the fourth day.
Hide’s impact on the group was immense. While he never outright declared it himself, he was the unanimous and undisputed leader. It was through his ideas, through his judgement, and through his leadership, that the group managed to defeat the dungeon. Even now, it was because of his sacrifice that they were able to escape.
Hide’s impact was immense, and this was felt more clearly than ever with his loss. A hole, a vast chasm had opened up within the group, causing unending fear and hysteria. To some, this hole was bigger than others. This was especially true to the girls who had followed Hide from the start. Around Cielle, Hina, and Cher, there was a distinct feeling of lingering depression that constantly wafted around them.
While he wasn’t as affected by Hide’s loss as strongly as the girls were, the President had also felt this hole. He had begun to feel the pressure which Hide had long grown accustomed to. Although he had some experience being a leader, compared to before, his confidence had taken a huge blow. The loss of all of his friends, the look Emiko had given him when she had saved him… The President’s heart was filled with bitterness and uncertainty.
He lamented in self derision. The weight of the lives that Hide had unknowingly started supporting… to the President, it was a weight strong enough to break him in half.
This subconscious anxiety shackled him down. Even though he had brought up the topic of Hide never coming back, at the same time, he had tactfully avoided the idea of leaving the area or stating with certainty that Hide was dead. He proposed that they either go back and search for Hide, or at the very least, they find something to occupy the days of seemingly endless agitation. He wanted to drive away the feeling of growing lethargy and stagnation that had gradually seeped its way deep into his heart.
****
In the empty living room of Cielle’s one bedroom apartment, the group had gathered.
It was evening of the third day after they had escaped the school. The President had called everybody together in order to discuss the current situation. He had brought up his two proposals of either going back for Hide, or trying to find something to preoccupy themselves with.
Immediately, this launched a flurry of discussion within the room. Although there were only seven people within the small, yet empty living room, their voices echoed and reverberated as the back and forth arguing persisted.
Cher and Hina were adamant about going back to search for Hide. The days without him filled their hearts with a sense of deep and uneasy dread. Kido’s former harem, as well as Narise, were firm in their choice to stay. Two of them were non combatants and feared anything dangerous. Much less going back to where such a high level boss was waiting, they feared the prospect of even taking a single step outside of the building. Minakawa, the only person within the Stay behind faction who had combat experience, was simply apathetic to Hide’s plight, and merely wanted to keep her only friend out of harm’s way.
Even though the President was the one who came up with the proposals, he himself was undecided, and merely listened to the constant bickering between both sides.
“We can’t go back.” Amidst the noise and raised voices, a quiet whisper echoed throughout the room. The magnetic, almost-mesmerizing voice was enough to cause a momentary lull within the chaotic living room. Both sides, regardless of their previous discussion, all turned silent and sported surprised expressions. With eyes wide open, almost in unison, everyone turned towards the origin of the voice.
Unexpectedly, it was Cielle who had rejected the idea of going back for Hide. Her words, while soft spoken, were filled with a certain firmness that made it difficult to refuse.
“We can’t go back.” She repeated, shaking her head in solemn determination.
“Cielle?” From among the group, Cher spoke with a questioning tone. Her light auburn hair bobbed slightly up and down, as she reared her head back in shock. Cielle’s affection towards Hide was something she had long known about. While she wasn’t openly affectionate, from the way she would sometimes look towards Hide, to the way she acted around him, it didn’t take a genius to guess what she felt about him.
Cher’s own emotions towards Hide were a bit more complicated. It wasn’t like she hated him, but she did not know whether the way she felt could be constituted as love. It was a weird sort of feeling that sometimes caused her to blush, frown, or shake her head in frustration at the most inopportune moments.
Either way, knowing how Cielle felt about Hide, Cielle’s response unconsciously caused an expression of bewilderment to form on Cher’s face.
“What are you saying? How can we just leave Hide alone?” She asked, a clear defiance in her tone.
“That’s right.” Hina, spoke from besides Cher. Her brows were scrunched up in confusion, while her expression was morphed into a frown. She was also quite aware of how strongly her sister felt for Hide. “We have to go back and help him. Who knows what type of condition he’s in! For all we know, he could be unconscious right now, lying in some broken down place, while teetering on the brink of death.”
To Hina and Cher’s questioning, Cielle slowly shook her head. From behind her curtain of hair, a melancholic light flashed briefly through her eyes.
“It’s not that I don’t want to go back and help him… I want to, I really want to… but…” Her soft, and hollow voice was filled with a discernible bitterness and sorrow. “Hide stayed behind to protect us... Going back now- going back now would undermine everything Hide did.”
Cielle wanted to follow Hide’s last instructions.
It wasn’t that she was 100% certain he would make it back alive. After all, even though Hide was capable of amazing things, even though he adapted to this new environment as well as a fish in water, he wasn’t invincible. The emotional part of her mind continuously told herself that Hide would survive, but another, a cold, more logical part told her otherwise.
“I want to do what Hide said and wait.” That’s what she had told herself. “I want to listen to what Hide told us.” Even though she wasn’t certain, if there was one thing she could trust, if there was one thing she would follow, it would be Hide’s words.
“Hide told us to stay, so we’ll stay.” But even then- “... and Hide told us, that after 4 days, if he isn’t back,” her voice dropped an octave. In her once undisturbed speech, a hint of hesitation surfaced.
Even though she wanted to do everything Hide had told him… he had made it so, so very difficult. “If he isn’t back by then, he told us to leave...” There were just some things she couldn’t do, even if they were Hide’s own words. “But…”
From underneath her curtain of hair, a slight frown had formed. “... but I don’t want to leave either.”
A mix of emotions swirled up within Cielle’s heart. The contrasting desire to follow Hide’s last words, and the desperate act of grasping onto the last possible hope of his survival. Her desire for both caused her to scrunch up her face and frown. She stared down at her white, clenched fists, as she thought long and hard.
The room around her had long grown silent. The gloomy miasma around the whole group indicated that a similar conflict was currently enveloping the others, albeit in different degrees. Cher and Hina, who had previously advocated for going back and searching for Hide, now grew silent. The small thought that Hide might not come back slowly crawled into their minds.
After what felt like an eternity had passed, the President’s voice finally cut through the silence, “Okay.” He solemnly nodded. “We’ll… We’ll remain here. Even if, after tomorrow, Hide still isn’t back, we’ll stay.”
Hearing his words, a heavy weight was seemingly lifted off from everyone’s chest, as a round of relieved sighs echoed throughout the room. Almost directly after, the President’s voice continued on, “But this doesn’t mean we can stay here indefinitely. If something that threatens our lives comes around, or if we run out of supplies, then we’re immediately leaving… with or without Hide.”
The group readily agreed to the President’s conditions. They were all just satisfied that they did not have to immediately leave.
With that, the group unanimously decided to remain within the building for the time being. While a part of this decision stemmed from their previous dependency on Hide, a greater part came from their own personal experiences within the school dungeon. The danger of this new world had already been firmly engraved into their hearts a long time ago. And while the apartment building, along with a majority of the surrounding area were within the manticore’s territory, it was because of this same manticore that there were currently no monsters within the area.
This lack of immediate danger was not guaranteed within the other parts of the city. No one was willing to jump head first into danger, especially when that danger was shrouded in the unknown. And frankly speaking, who would be willing to leave a place void of any monsters?
The apartment building was a good two to three miles away from the school. While this distance could not be called far, it wasn’t too close either. The group decided to make this place their temporary base.
But while they did decide not to leave the area, the President still wasn’t satisfied. The lingering feeling of lethargy still persisted within his mind, so to combat this irritating sensation, he proposed that they start patrolling the area.
“This place might be safe for now, but who can guarantee this safety will last, and for long?” He reasoned. “We need to be prepared before hand in case the Manticore finds us or if other monsters start showing up.”
Upon his words, everybody quickly came to an agreement. Slowly but surely, they were beginning to accept that leaving the dungeon, was merely stepping into another sort of hell, one filled with as much or even more danger as the previous one.
The illusion of safety and comfort that had started to form around the group, were all being actively and intentionally destroyed by the President.
He did not state this openly, but he believed that by introducing a patrolling system, it would not only maintain safety, but also actively put the group in a continued heightened state of caution. It was like having a knife pressed up against your throat, giving one virtually no opportunity to relax.
And unlike before, when they were all holed up inside the building without doing anything, all of these repressed emotions and bottled up agitation could be released through actual physical activity. In a morbid sort of way, actively looking for monsters could help alleviate some of the built up stress everyone had accumulated.
****
During the morning of the next day, with the President taking control, the group began setting up shifts for patrolling the surrounding areas.
In addition, since they could not help the others patrol the area, the two non combatants were tasked with scavenging for food and other supplies within the various suites and apartments of the building.
As the group members were assigning roles to each individual, Cielle adamantly spoke up and decided that she would remain in the building in order to wait for Hide’s return. She did not want to miss the moment Hide arrived to the building . And in addition, she also wanted to be the very first person Hide would see the moment he returned.
She realized that this was a rather selfish request, and that she herself constituted a major fighting force within the group, so she had originally expected some resistance from the others, but to her surprise the President readily agreed without much of a fuss.
“There’s no use making you do something you don’t want to do.” He later explained. “In fact, with that sort of unwillingness, even with your skills, you might become a liability, rather than an asset.”
The President’s words, while they revealed a portion of his true feelings, they did not express the whole truth. His main reason for keeping Cielle in the building was due to her importance as a healer. Although she had strong abilities, and she fought well, maybe even better than himself, in a world like this, her identity as a healer was several times more important.
In this regard, Hide and the President’s point of views differed. In Hide’s case, he made Cielle fight in the front lines in order to increase her own personal strength to better defend herself. From the President’s perspective, this was an increasingly reckless thing to do. From a group perspective, putting someone as important as a healer in constant harm’s way was too dangerous of a risk for him to take.
Moreover, unlike Hide, the President was not confident that he would be able to act and save Cielle in times of danger.
While keeping his insecurities and concerns bottled up inside him, the President readily wore a facade, as he agreeably agreed to Cielle’s seemingly over the top demand.
****
Author's Note: I've been gone for quite a while and I'm not very familiar with the new royal road. Some things, alot of things have changed. Some of those things I like, and some of those things I don't like. I'm not too familiar with everything just yet, so bear with me in the future, my loyal fans. I swear, coming back to this story after a 5 month hiatus, you guys are just as crazy as me.
Also seeing as how almost everybody has a cover these days, I thought about making one myself. I don't think its very good, and I feel like someone might flag me for art plagiary. Even though I spliced together a bunch of different images, I'm not too certain as to how art plagiary works, and whether what I did constitutes as so. If it is, I'll take it down. If anyone is wiling to make me a cover, or knows how I can get one, please speak up.