I turned my attention to Bayce’s bedroom door. What was I hearing in there? It wasn’t the slow shuffle of Bayce skimming through papers or sliding her chair across the floor. Maybe she was looking through the Spells one last time and she didn’t like what she was seeing. That would explain what I thought was a groan of concern.
Well, I wasn’t getting anywhere with my ear plastered to the wood like this. I just had to go in! But the door was closed. I guessed that part mattered?
I knocked on the door, but Bayce didn’t answer either way, probably because she was preoccupied. In hindsight, it was more likely because I had knocked with my paw and paws are soft.
Whatever. A bedroom was not a bathroom! Bayce had told me to come up here and consult her about Spells and cantrips, and I would not let her inadvertently postpone the day’s adventuring! Besides, she just groaned again! She sounded so concerned!!
I Morphed, let out a decently loud “meow” to announce myself, twisted the doorknob two-handed, and stepped in.
Bayce was sitting on the side of the sloppy bed, which, while only half-cleared of papers, had clearly been used. One hand held a book and the other hovered in the air, certainly looking like she’d been moving it frantically and I’d caught her mid-action. She looked at me with the most frightened, frightening smile I had seen from her.
If I had to attempt to describe what was on the cover of her book, it would be “Victorian sexy pumpkin maid.” And I could not say why, but about two seconds after I came in, Bayce lobbed the book into an open closet, along with what appeared to be a full-sized bicycle pump.
“Wow, why didn’t I kick that one under the bed? She didn’t have to see that,” she said, to herself but at normal volume. “She didn’t have to see any of that! Taipha, holy crap, don’t come in when the door’s closed! I know you maybe don’t have people manners, but dang!”
Aghast, I pointed at my mouth and throat. “Meow meow!” I cried. I had announced myself, after all! Anyway, I didn’t see why it mattered that I spotted her reading. Or maybe she’d been researching…somehow?
Bayce stood up and dusted herself off. There was no dust—I knew by now that humans just did that sort of thing when they were nervous. She’d changed out of her pajamas, but she still looked odd and haggard.
Wait! No she didn’t! In a literal blink, her face became as radiant as I was used to seeing it.
For a few seconds she moved a stack of papers out of the chair—then she turned to me and saw the latest confusion on my human face.
“It’s a makeup cantrip,” she said. “I’ve been using it all along! What, do you think I was born with permanent contours?”
Shakily I held up the spirit board and pointed. This was a little bit faster than swatting with my paw, but it was missing that hit-the-button energy. “I DIDNT THINK MANY ANYTHINGS,” I admitted. “WHAT WERE U JUST DOING?”
She gestured for me to sit in the chair, plopped herself back on the bed’s edge. “You know… Wait, you seriously don’t know.”
“UM…NO”
She fist-pumped. “Yesss,” she hissed. “My reputation is safe.”
The idea that someone as transparent as Bayce had a level of “coolness” to maintain was as alien as anything else here.
And that’s exactly why I was excited to discuss magic with her! She was so forthcoming. Except for just now, but that was like the one exception ever.
“SO…” I had to gather my thoughts again. “SPELLS! DO YOU HAVE INTELLIGENCE UP?”
That was the most natural counter to the nonsense of the Debug Blade…assuming the sword wouldn’t just punt the boosted Stat back to 0.
“Woah woah woah. Let’s start from jump: what Spells do I have period?” She pulled out a familiar wooden box and popped the lid open. Some of the cubbies were nearly overflowing while others were almost depleted. This time I could read what they were!
• Fire Spell (low)
• Lightning Spell
• Ice Spell
• Earth Spell
• Water Spell (low)
• Nature Spell (low)
• Attack Up (low)
• Defense Up
• Minor Heal
• Attraction Spell
• High-Gravity Spell
• Low-Gravity Spell
Interesting…and yet, of course, it didn’t include the one Spell I most wanted. Why, even? Wasn’t Intelligence Up so clearly useful, especially for Spellcasters like Bayce?
“THANK U GOOD EXCEPT NO INT UP,” I said right before frowning very hard and using my free hand to mime tears falling from my face.
My display actually made Bayce gasp a little. “Poor baby,” she simpered, putting a hand on my shoulder. “We can get you a widdle Intelligence Up if you really want it.”
“Mraowp?!”
She switched off the baby talk (phew). “Yes, but there are caveats. All of the Stat Up Spells are a little risky, but the ones that deal with the brain are…well, I don’t mean to raise any alarm bells,” she said with a desperate laugh, “but botched Spells have caused brain damage!”
I made my very first unimpressed wince. Given how badly the Debug Blade had already made my brain feel, and how decidedly okay I had felt with repeated Guards and Meditates, I doubted this would be a bigger risk. Especially not from Bayce, whose magic hadn’t steered me wrong to date.
Bayce sighed. “Okay, if you’re sure…you daredevil, you.” She clapped once. “I will do my darnedest to make you the greatest intelligence boosters ever!”
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
Yay! Even if they didn’t work with the Blade the way I’d want them to, they would at least make me smarter, right? …Right??
For now, I gave hew a mewl of appreciation and changed forms again, the better to conserve SP with. (I hadn’t not been having fun being in nekomata form with her, though…)
First we had all those elements Reed and Chora had been mentioning earlier. Bayce explained that for the most part, they worked the way I expected them to: by launching a glob of whatever element they had in the Spell name. Earth launched a rock and not, mercifully, dirt clouds. Ice had the bonus of being able to launch a bolt of superchilled air that would freeze on contact rather than just throw a big icicle, if the user desired. The Nature Spell actually caused vines to sprout on the target and begin constricting their own host.
“It’s a little dark, I won’t lie. That’s why we don’t have too many.” Bayce paused thoughtfully. “Nah, it’s really because the spike seeds in the recipe are so hard to find. If not for that, these would be the choice for self-defense in my book. It edges out High-Gravity, if only for the spectacle.”
Ah, the big ones: Attraction, High-Gravity, and Low-Gravity. These almost didn’t feel like they belonged in the same box, let alone universe! I could kinda guess what these three Spells did, but I wasn’t yet grasping how they could work in battle.
I pointed to the Attracts. “U USED THIS WHEN WE MET,” I said with gusto, “TO SUFFOCATE ME!”
Her eyes went wide. “I’m so flattered you remember that!” she cried.
Uh…of course I did, it had to have been less than a month ago!
“And you could too breathe. There is cleavage even in the darkest night.” Suddenly she slapped herself. “Okay, let’s not talk about that. It’s too awkward…surprisingly.”
That transition gave me whiplash, but if she was going to drill into the Spells more, I would not argue!
“Yeah, Low-Grav makes someone or something lighter. High-Grav makes them heavier. Make yourself lighter, jump higher, move faster for about, say, a minute. A Spellcaster using Low-Grav more aggressively—especially someone as athletic as you—can spring it like a trap to make people get the frick outta their face. It’s tricky to pull off, but fun! (Admittedly I’ve ticked off many, many frogs in mid-jump this way.)
“High-Grav is more intuitive. Make someone or something very heavy. Make yourself immovable or make them plummet and stay there. This is the most hilarious way to cannonball but also the most hilarious way to send yourself to the infirmary. I think it multiplies your weight by ten! That almost sounds too heavy to be true—like, would I seriously be three-quarters of a ton on this?!—but there it is, Taipha.
“Then there’s Attract,” she said, and I could see by the devious look on her face that this one was her favorite. “It pulls stuff closer together. It’s so much fun. I mean, I feel guilty for using Attract on you back there, but…should I? Should I really?”
“YES,” I said instantaneously. “AND YET ALSO ITS FUNNY…OR…NOW IT IS. IT SUCKED AT THE TIME!”
Somehow that made her cackle harder. “Okay, no more, then! I’m just lucky you didn’t claw me up like the ottoman!” She wiped a tear away and calmed down. “Anywho, it’s important to note that Attract pulls stuff closer to you. You throw it at someone else and you’re gonna go whizzing through the air at them, unless you really anchor those feet to the ground.” She tapped one of her high-heeled boots on the floor two hard times. “It also doesn’t last a minute—typically only goes until the objects reach each other. There’s some kind of weight limit, but honestly I forget exactly what, because I don’t go around Attracting twelve-ton boxes to my person.
“Oh, and speaking of inordinately heavy things, watch out for the speed of this thing. It is the fricking tape measure of Spells, and you will stub more than your toe.” Now she was holding a grayish cluster of Attraction magic between her fingers, looking just as serious as if I were watching a PSA. “Do not try to show off with this thing unless you know exactly what you’re doing. Don’t think you’re ‘teleporting’ your way onto the side of a pole and instead find that pole flying out of the earth and clotheslining you.” She stifled a laugh, but just barely. “Or, fine, maybe if you do that, call me first. Any questions?”
This was a lot, but it was making sense. Plus, the idea factory that was the back of my mind was hard at work coming up with ways to fight with all this. Most would fail—but that’s what experimentation is for! Try, try, fall to 5% Health and try again, baby!!
But I did have to ask, “HOW MANY CAN I BRING TODAY? IM GOING OUT FOR A DAY OR MORE”
“Oh, bring anything and everything. I’m making more of what I can today, and then Chora should be bringing a few more ingredients from the village. You’re the one in mortal danger, by all appearances.”
“U OK? U FEEL THE PLAGUE STILL?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. The magic stuff, whatever it was, it’s been coming off. Not a great sign that it’s here in the forest at all. Not a great sign that I can’t identify it.” She squinted. “Not even sure it’s a substance, per se.”
“…THX 4 ALL THIS SO FAR.”
She nodded her head with a hint of a smile. Then something gloomy seemed to pass over her face. “Um, what I said earlier about you leaving…you know what I meant, right? I didn’t mean I hate you. I actually love you! As like a friend. Flirt-friend. It’s a new term.”
“U R NERVOUS” was all I said. I figured I could use my deadpan cat face to my advantage.
Bayce jumped just like I thought she would…touchdown.
“What makes you think I’m nervous?!” She replied to herself, voice rising. “Oh, I dunno, just everything?! Goodness, Taipha. Why are you this cute, and, like…innocent?”
This went from hilarious to not the turn I had been expecting. And it got weirder from there.
“I just—hate you. No I don’t mean that,” she snapped. “Sorry, I was reaching for the opposite of ‘love’ and that was seriously the word I pulled out. Just—sorry. I know you’re taken.”
I blinked. She blinked.
“SARCASM?”
“Sssuuuuure,” she said. “Yyyeeeeeah.” She hit herself again, and I wished she’d stop doing that. It seemed to be making her face redder. Or was that just nervousne—okay, it had to be the nervousness.
Maybe this was a good time to change the subject! Humans did appreciate a good distraction…I mean segue.
“OK SO IVE NEVER BEEN CLEAR ON THIS. WHATS AN ANATOMAGUS?”
Her eyes brightened. “Oh, that! Wait, you really didn’t know? …Wait, yeah duh you didn’t know. You’re not even from here. An anatomagus does body modification magic. I do body mod cantrips.”
“UM…LIKE PIERCINGS?”
“Yeah! Like piercings.”
“OH I GET IT. WHY GO TO BIG LONG COLLEGE FOR THAT?”
“Because the piercings make people change heights and grow limbs and stuff.”
“OH I GET IT. FOR REAL”
“Glad we cleared that up.” Bayce looked away for a long moment. Just as I wondered whether I’d overstayed my welcome, she said, “Look…I’ve been wondering about that Queen you’ve been fighting, and I think that—that maybe she’s not evil? Maybe it’s not even that she has Zero-Wisdom Brain. What if she’s just weird and she’s not human? Kinda like you? Oh, shoot. I could have phrased that better.”
“Mreaow,” I said, hoping my tone was encouraging. I wasn’t sure what she was getting at, but I’d much rather she say it than not. By now I trusted that nobody in the cabin would willfully hurt or even insult me.
“Well, to break it down, she gave you a book, but it’s useless. Then she told you words, and they were useless. Seems to me like she’s trying to tell you something, only she’s super bad at it so everything she does is useless.”
But then…why fight me about it?
I narrowed my eyes, and she saw the doubt.
“Yeah, it’s just a theory,” she said. Then her feet began to get antsy.
“ILL REMEMBER THAT,” I said, and I meant it. After that, I chose my Spells, thanked Bayce for putting herself through all that trouble and stress today, and headed out.
But not before Bayce gave me something for the road. As I turned to stroll out, a little bit of balled-up paper bopped the back of my head.
I opened it: ingredients for a cantrip.
Sure, add another million things to the list of to-dos—but just like the first time, I was jazzed to hunt down everything on this list.
“Go east, missy,” she said.