Despite the near frigid air conditioning, Corvayne was sweating as he saw a security guard downstairs on his radio. They had succeed in finding the group paying for the land Spears-Like-Water had been imprisoned on. Whatever Wick had read torpedoed their previously flawless operation was moments from contact with security after she tripped some sort of noise alarm.
“One second FUCK!” Wick was still on the computer, flipping back to the banks internal tab and the muted glow of her entering something onto her phone with taps. “I gotta write the numbers down here... this is fucked up, I gotta be sure!”
As soon as she looked done he grabbed what her arm and yanked her away from the computer. Wick sputtered “I just gotta check again!”
Corvayne didn't have time. “We were spotted. It's time to go.”
He lead the way out into the cube farm just as the door to the second floor burst open and a pair of security officers turned on the lights in the main office. As they hummed to life Corvayne could see that while he couldn't make out features for either of his girlfriends, in bright light Hari's spell would make them visible enough to spot and to shoot at against the gray sections of the cube walls.
He gently tapped them and then moved around where he heard noises, taking a steady pace towards the door to the stairs, keeping himself focused rather than letting the glaze of sweat and worry rush him. He pretended it was just a drill. Worst case, they were leaving town, nobody would know where to go after them, and Wick was already one of the most hunted women in the galaxy. He tried not to think of how much he had come to enjoy Cascadia itself.
He took the stairs two at a time and was near the bottom when the door to the first floor opened. He saw two more men with flashlights, one of whom started to point at them.
Corvayne nearly reached for his spear but decided not to go lethal, instead reaching out as he dropped next to the first guard to [Nerve Pinch]. His fingers brushed the mans neck and the skill knocked him out. The second one hadn't entered the stairwell and called out 'Shit!' and managed to pull his gun. Corvayne activated Gravity on instinct and the gun fell to the ground with a thud, then Corvayne leapt over the man's partner. The man to his credit stepped back and tried to punch Corvayne but with a slight adjustment to his stride Corvayne caught the arm and flipped the man using a non skilled judo flip then tapped his neck as well, applying [Nerve Pinch] once more and knocking him out. A quick check showed they were alone.
“Cmon!” he called back as he ran to the side door they entered from.
“Spell!” Hari replied nearer to him than he thought, and even with the pressure of things going wrong she managed to belt out the incantation again, once more blurring and fading Corvayne before they burst out of the door and bolted across the parking lot and through the bushes to where Grunt was waiting, car running.
Corvayne opened the door and pushed the shadowy Hari and Wick in then jumped in himself. “Go go go!”
Tires squealed as Grunt started racing downhill. Wick cried out “Seatbelts!” as Corvayne saw red and blue lights at two different points downhill.
Hari croaked out. “I don't know what a seat-belt is! Let me check my book!” Corvayne saw her grabbing her throat, still sore from the dress.
Wick shrieked “It's not a FUCKING magic item, it's the straps in a car! Like this! Corvayne help her!”
Grunt slapped the wheel. He shook his hand furiously, making a casting gesture.
Corvayne finished strapping her in then himself then asked. “Hari, do you have a spell to make our car less obvious?”
“Uh, maybe?” She started flipping through her book.
Corvayne took a deep breath, feeling himself sweat. He also felt a stinging sensation in his shoulder... had he been shot? He didn't see a hole. No time for this. Grunt hit the bottom of the office park and barely slowed, wheels squealing as he slid the back half of the car around then punched the gas pushing Corvayne into his the seat as the car roared through the hilly roads, kicking up fall leaves.
“Wick! Why yell!” Hari squeaked, flipping through her book.
“Because I know who owns Royal Successor Holdings and it makes this entire trip a MINDFUCK!”
The first police car came hurtling around a turn ahead of them, and Grunt grunted in amusement as the vehicle at first made to try to block him, then quickly got out of the way as the person driving realized the physics of trying to slow a car likely eight times the weight of their police cruiser.
Hari tried casting something but the swerving interrupted her as Grunt used a storm gutter to take a turn faster.
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Wick was grabbing onto the seat. “God damnit, Grunt if we die in a car crash I'll kill you!”
Hari tried to speed up the spell but wheezed at once part and in frustration pulled out Mister I's pill then and swallowed it, immediately looking ill. The elf darted for the bag she had put in a cupholder, right as Grunt turned a corner to two police cars turned sideways to block the road. He sped up and the police ran from the cars as he barreled through them. Corvayne could see Hari had a hand over her mouth and was flailing to get the bag which fell on the floor as Grunt took a turn on maybe two whole wheels.
“Wow elves make cute sounds when they throw up!” Wick shouted over squealing tires and sirens.
Corvayne gestured. “ We have to get off this road, they will set better traps if we don't!”
A side street came up and Grunt burned serious rubber as he turned left, the small neighborhood road barely large enough for the huge car. It had speed reducing ridges as well, each bump jolting them up and down into the backseat as the car would go airborn every time it hit a bump.
Corvayne found the bag in time as one last bump was too much and Hari started throwing up. Grunt made as much noise as he had ever heard, a wordless cry that likely had something to do with the smell of vomit.
“It's ok! We got in the bag!” Corvayne said to his friend.
Wick screamed. “Drive!” and Grunt turned the car before they hit a house, momentum from going downhill swinging part of the car onto the lawn and kicking up dirt and smoke. Corvayne caught a glimpse of an airborne mailbox.
“Wick navigate for him!” He rolled down a window and pulled his spear from his storage ring.
“Corvayne! No weapon skills or they will 100 percent know it's us!” Wick hit him with her phone and Corvayne rolled his eyes. Fine. He put his spear back into his storage ring and instead handed Hari one of his many hand towels. She toweled her mouth off and started casting a spell, then frowned.
“Car too heavy, barely works!”
Grunt gestured twice at the dashboard, and started to look back to glare: What the hell this is a GREAT car?
“Drive!” Wick snapped.
Corvayne could see they were now at the bottom of the neighborhood, but there were train tracks between them and the businesses further downhill. Who the heck put train tracks on the ground?
“Fuck no wonder there's no cops, this is a dead end!” Wick tapped at the phone.
Uphill, he could see through houses red and blue lights fanning out. Corvayne tapped Grunt's shoulder. “Drive back uphill a block or two, try to get the road with the huge bump. I got an idea.”
Grunt hit the gas again, and sped past a side street where two cop cars were speeding downhill to cut uphill on the next. Corvayne was surprised they had so many police, but maybe it was just Dolphin Island. Either way, Grunt cut the wheel as another police cruiser with a bullhorn started calling out to them, “STOP YOUR CAR. PULL OVER OR WE WILL SHOOT!”
Grunt rolled down the window and flipped them off, then used both hands to point them downhill. At the bottom of the road, the police were laying out something that looked like caltrops. Not a bad strategy for stopping a car.
Hari looked around. “Can we give up to guards?”
Wick snorted. “The day we lose to mere cops is the day I die.”
Hari nodded. “YES. That is problem!”
Corvayne tapped Grunt's shoulder. “Full speed downhill. Trust.”
Grunt nodded and grinned, then hit the gas and with another squeal and the smell of burnt rubber they started going full speed towards the spike trap, the parked police cars, and solid looking trees behind them. Corvayne flexed his gravity power, pulling as much weight out of the car as fast as he could. Grunt was aimed for the bump and he felt his power pushed to it's maximum output as the wheels hit it.
There was a great thump then the rumble of the road fell away, leaving only the sound of the engine still purring as Corvayne saw them arc up and over the tree line and railroad tracks, and of course it reminded him of outrunning a nuke so he started laughing until he saw they were coming down, his Gravity power rapidly wearing him out as they hurtled towards the rooftop of a store. He squeezed out a little more power to get the car to miss landing on top of a store, instead catching a street light as it fell onto the street and they slammed into their seats. There was a pair of terrible thumps and screeching and sparks as the monster car bounced a little and Grunt pulled the wheel back and forth and a moment later they were rushing off into the suburban streets, broken street light tumbling on the street behind them.
“Yeah! Great driving Grunt!” Corvayne said.
“Fucking stupid city! Never drive car again! I want out!” Hari squirmed against Corvaynes side.
Wick slapped her knee. “Yeah! Once we are off the island, we'll have to ditch this, but I'll get you another one someday. Isn't our car anyway.”
“Who did we steal it from?” Corvayne asked.
“Goule, of course.”
Hari wavered and put her hand back over her mouth, and Corvayne tapped Grunts shoulder to get another bag. Grunt gestured forward, as if now driving a normal speed on a road with no police was less taxing than the car chase that had Corvayne soaked with sweat.
“Hari's looking sick again.”
Grunt quickly fumbled with something and handed Corvayne another bag, which he turned and gave to Hari too late as she threw up again, this time all over the interior.
Wick sighed. “Ah the smell of victory.”
Grunt made some hand motions of driving and his heart as they stepped away from the ill fated vehicle.
Wick waved him away. “It would have been stolen even if we didn't do crimes with it. I told you not to get attached.”
Grunt's shoulders slumped. Corvayne hoped a big bike as a gift would help his friend miss the huge car less.
They had picked a driveway by a dark house near the bridge south. Grunt turned the lights off and simply parked it, and with that they activated a somewhat weaker stealth spell and made their way through a few yards to the main highway they followed to the bike path. Grunt was in charge of watching out for a late night bicyclist to prevent them from crashing into the shadowy group.
Hari was staggering as she made her way up the ramp, but her voice sounded better if not miserable. “Why did you shout? Wick not usually stupid!”
Wick folded her arms. “I know, but I'm not Corvayne. I was pretty fucking freaked when I figured out who owns the land and I'm still trying to figure out what it means.”
“It's Goule, right?” Corvayne said as he looked out over the water. It would fit with the bad guys knowing it was there.
Even Hari huffed a suggestion. “It's Baron Le'Stupidface who monk worked for.” Which made sense too. The Baron seemed to have a lot of power on Cascadia.
Grunt made a smug face, then mimed flicking on a shield belt: Nyxion?
“No. That fund is one of hundreds that a particular noble family uses to make allowance. It's attached to a large chunk of land north of Cascadia, in fact it owns the land that Cascadia National Forest is a subsection of. That was my other fuck.”
“I would assume a national park would be entirely owned by, you know, the nation.”
“I had talked about how buying it would be smart, but as it turns out it would have been incredibly STUPID if I bought it. Also, sorry to you all, our entire little adventure here was a shit pile of risk for absolutely no good reason.” Wick sighed.
Grunt laughed, then pointed at Wick. She looked at him, and he made a scrawling motion then pointed twice at Wick. Corvayne narrowed his eyes as he thought about the gestures. There was no way...
Wick started rambling. “Correct! Big guy, you'll win a car. Eventually. We can't take a whole car with us. I'll let you drive the truck. But. Yes! The mysterious slime dungeon which we were sure would be owned by a shadow figure who knows all the real reasons all this stuff is happening is not owned by Corvaynes dad or Argyle or The Magus or something cool like that but it's instead property of the dumbest bitch in the entire FUCKING royal family, a woman so head-in-ass stupid she actually started the process of buying it from herself while trying to negotiate the commission from the broker down. She shouldn't have been worried about the finances revealing her because anyone combing through them would think it was TOO FUCKING STUPID.”
Hari looked around. “Don't grandstand! Who is dumb bitch who owns mystery merchant company dungeon?”
She turned and pointed to herself. “Ianasia Leona. Aka Anastasia. Aka Wick. Me.”