Shuffling boots toward the door and the echoing silence of the heart monitor indicated that they had left and I was left alone again.
Alone to ponder, where was the old woman?
~~~
Whatever liquid had been pushed through the IV did the trick of calming me because suddenly I felt like I was on cloud nine. Not so much loopy as I was serene.
Deciding to try to push my luck, I quietly contemplated what had happened last night in regards to the woman.
Not too fast. I told myself. Even if I had drugs in my system, I didn't want to start hyperventilating again.
From the beginning. I know I went into that alley to save her. She was there and real. After the first man pushed my head into the dirt, I shuddered but kept myself composed, he went back to the old woman who was still there. Things weren't adding up. But after I jumped on him, what happened to her? I guess both the men were so preoccupied with me that she could have escaped? But it seemed unlikely with how hurt she looked.
I rubbed my temples, hoping it would bring back something I was missing.
"I'm sorry about that woman," if I hadn't been given the drugs earlier, I would have jumped. Instead, I slowly opened my eyes and saw Sam standing at the foot of my bed. "I talked to the officers outside about what happened," she paused, "It was a really brave thing for you to do, you know. Trying to save her."
Shrugging seemed appropriate. "I don't-" I paused, trying to sort out my own feelings. "I don't know how to feel," Sam frowned walking to the side of my bed. "Who was I to try to fight them off? I chose a battle meant to be lost and now, for some reason, feel surprised that I didn't win."
She contemplated a second, staring at me while I looked down in shame.
"Lynette," she said, taking my chin gently in her hand and facing my head to her, "Let me tell you something. There are so many other woman just like the one in the alley last night. So many girls like her," she brushed back strands of hair from my face, "So many girls wanting to be helped and saved just like you tried to do for that woman. I know grown men who aren't half as brave as you," I smiled, embarrassed by her praise. "Now that doesn't mean you should rush in on any other attack, but it does mean that you were a hero for doing it yesterday. Even if she wasn't around afterward, you did save her, Lynette. And I'm sure wherever she is right now, she is thanking you."
I smiled. "Thank you. If my side don't hurt so much from moving, I'd hug you." We both laughed together, but mine was a sad laugh.
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For all those girls out there. All of them missing family or friends or both. For all of those girls who would forever be alone under the moon.
~~~
Half an hour later, the sun dipped low in the sky, almost gone and my mom returned to be with me in the hospital. She brought extra clothes and my knitting things to keep me entertained.
Though I appreciated the thought, I- I couldn't do it. I'd been knitting since I was 12, but still had to look at my pattern when knitting. Every time I looked down-
Those bruises screamed at me. Shackled me to my memories and made everything come flooding back. Just one glance sent my head fuzzy and my ears drowned with static.
I gave my mom the best smile I could, but told her my arms hurt too much from the IV. She faltered for a moment, but soon smiled sympathetically. "Of course, sweetheart." She stashed the yarn away in her bag.
I closed my eyes as anger simmered in my stomach. My mom and I had been knitting together for the last six years and one night can take that away? We'd made countless scarves and gloves and blankets together. Two men can take those precious moments from us? Anger boiled within me for the next hour.
After some time, the police officers returned holding styrofoam cups and sympathetic smiles. "How are you holding up, champ?" The man said.
Champ? I thought to myself, struggling to keep from rolling my eyes. "Fine." I said flatly. Calm down. I told myself. It wasn't their fault that they were doing their jobs. It wasn't them who gave me these bruises or their accompanying memories.
"Um, right," He shrugged his shoulders uncomfortably. "We'd like to ask you a few more questions about last night. Is that alright with you?"
I looked to my mom, happy to have her by my side this time. Her reassuring smile simmered my temper. "Yes." I replied looking back to him.
"Okay, great," Taking a breath, he continued, "Earlier, you were walking us through what happened. Can you tell us what happened after you found the two men and the woman?"
I recounted the story from that moment. Talking about me grabbing the scissors from my bag and pointing them at the men. Remembering how the man grabbed them from my hands and pushed my head into the dirt. How I jumped up to attack him after he kicked the woman. Shaking and rubbing my wrists gently as I told them about his friend holding down my wrists while he unbuckled his pants. I shuddered remembering that moment, but quickly moved on. I recalled how the scissors fell out again and we both lunged for them.
"I cut his wrist," I told them, remembering the moment. "A deep cut from his inner elbow all the way down to his wrist. It was bleeding pretty badly, but..." I trailed off. "He-he didn't care. There was...a rage in his eyes. He grabbed the scissors again and..." I hugged my stomach, wincing when I pulled too hard.
A moment passed. Suddenly my eyes widened. "I-" I started. Eyes glued to me, the officers looked ready to write down the first thing out of my mouth. "His name-" I remembered. "His name was...Dan," I stared at the officers. "His friend-the man in the suit told him-Dan to let me go when he pushed my head on the ground."
The officers looked at each other in silent contemplation. Then, the woman spoke, "Could you give a description of the men to a sketch artist for us?"
I paused. "I-I don't know. It was pretty dark," Having to look at their faces again, even if it was just a drawing.
She looked disappointed. "Anything helps."
"Then," I sat up a little straighter, ready to do whatever I could to help, "I can try."