I waited, asking myself if this was really what I wanted. Hugging myself closer, I finally whispered, "Yes."
Slowly, he turned the papers around to show me the faces of monsters.
They were...they were...exactly how I remembered them. The shape of their faces. The fold of their clothes. The hollowness of their eyes.
I shifted in bed, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. "Um. Yes, well. That's-thats them." I turned my head down, trying to get away from the pictures-from them-only to be met with my bruised wrists.
The beeping of the heart monitor increased. Calm down. I commanded. Calm down. Calm down! I took a shaky breath. They're not here, I promise. Everything is alright. You're fine. You're safe. You're safe. Repeating the mantra to myself, I breathed deeply. You're safe.
My palms were clammy as I pushed them into my temples and squeezed my eyes shut to do something. Anything. Erase. Erase! Erase them! I don't want to think about them anymore!
Every terrible memory from that night suffocated me.
"Lynn!" My mom grabbed my arms and shook them.
Stop. Don't touch me! "Let go of me!" I screamed, shaking her off.
There was a gasp at the door. "What's going on? What happened?" Sam's voice boomed through the room.
Too loud. The sirens. The wailing. I screamed again.
"She started screaming when she saw the pictures he drew!" My mom yelled frantically.
"Lynette, honey, I need you to calm down." Someone grabbed my arms.
My arms flailed out wildly. "Get off! Get off!" I sobbed. "Don't touch me!"
"I have to give her something to help," Someone said harshly. "I promise, this will help." They calmed.
Suddenly, everything started to slow down. I inched back toward the pillow. So nice. So...soft.
This was better than last time. There wasn't any sickness in my stomach or bile in my throat. The darkness called me toward sweetness and away from cruel reality.
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This time, the darkness that took me was sweet and gentle.
***
"Lynette..."
"Lynette..."
"Lynette..."
Voices whispered my name. Angrily, harshly, calling to me. I was standing on that same street from that night. Cold and desolate. But as I turned to look around, the scene changed. Suddenly I was back there. In that alley.
With blood covering the walls. Everywhere I looked was the deep, thick red of blood. Stench and heat radiated from the walls.
They were getting closer. Slowly, they closed in on me. I only had an outstretched arm's length of room left.
The walls stopped. And, they stepped through the wall in front of me. They took one big step and they were upon me. Yanking at my clothes and my hair. But the one in the suit cuffed my wrists with his hands.
Dragging me down, my body fell to the bloody floor. But the rest of the walls weren't covered in blood anymore. Just below me. My blood.
I looked down, but my lower half was suddenly gone. I didn't have anything past my upper torso. The men were gone, but I couldn't move my wrists.
I tried to scream, but it felt like I was drowning. Can't scream. Can't scream. Can't move.
I looked up.
The moon was here.
Suddenly, there was a great shaking beneath me. And around me. And inside me. It reverberated through my skull and shook down my bones.
A great cry was heard from beyond my comprehension. A bone shattering pitch came from nowhere. It grew louder and louder until I thought my head would explode from the pressure.
Again, I couldn't scream. There was no relief to this pain.
"That's quite enough." There was a voice. Majestic and kind. Suddenly, everything was gone, the pain, the walls, the smell, replaced by whispy blue clouds in the night sky.
I was floating in the stars. They were all around me. If I reached out, I was sure I could touch one. The galaxy itself encased me.
"What is this?" Wonder coated my voice. But I was sure I didn't say anything. A star raced past me, flying faster than light.
"It is whatever you desire it to be," The same kind voice answered. "It is your own conscious helping you to escape," They descended from the clouds as gracefully as an angel from the heavens. Their movements, as fluid as a stream, almost looked disconnected from their body which was ten times the size of me. Sweeping behind them was a gown of starlight with deep a sweetheart neckline front down to their stomach. But there was nothing but white light as their chest. The dress itself, completely bending my mind when I looked to it.
Looking to me, I saw their face was almost indiscernible besides their mouth. Thin, but smiling. Wrapping around their face was a sweep of stars as hair, braiding itself into a crown around their head. Their hair fell around the being's sides and intermingled with the space around us. There was no end. A gentle white glow radiated from their entire being.
"Who are you?" I awed, floating close to their face above the nothingness of space.
"I," answered the being, "am the Starcaster."