When night finally came, Calla was emotionally drained. It was a strange feeling for her, who was usually so logical and stoic. Her mind fought furiously with itself as it tried to get rid of the small inkling of humanity she was feeling, that inkling of weakness.
'Sentimentality makes us weak. We need to be strong. Be worthy.' she hissed to herself. 'Worthy of what though? We devoured, we grew strong, but we are not worthy enough. We don't know how we know, but we know that we know.' She stamped the ground in fury as she tried to process her feelings. But she had conflicting vampiric and human sides. When she had changed she lost most of her humanity, like vampires do, but her mind scattered and split apart. The different strands became the whispers she used to hear. But as she was a vampire, the whispers that spoke to that instinct were strongest, that's how she could be so detached and calculating.
But she became a Blood-letter, and the feeling she'd felt since she was a newborn, that connected to another, grew extraordinarily. It became a much greater part of her and the feelings associated with it connected back to her human side. Her humanity wasn't strong and paled in comparison to her vampiric instincts. In fact, no feelings of happiness or joy were attached to them. The thoughts that came to her were sad and depressing. Her parents lack of love for her hadn't been an issue since she was turned, precisely because it was cut off. But now it was coming back full flow and the unfamiliar flood of emotion was preventing her from thinking clearly.
A desire for the love of another was a concept she had long abandoned and forgot about. But now that it was back, it wormed her way into every part of her mind. Vampires still had emotions, so however much she tried to quash the 'humanity' of it, it was a fruitless effort.They could love and care like any other sentient creature and part of Calla now felt herself longing for it, warping her vampiric beliefs.
'Why won't they stop?' she groaned in mental agony as memories and feelings of the past came unbidden and overflowed. 'We don't care about this. They are nothing.' she hissed as images of her father and his other lover, Sandra, flittered through her mind alongside her drunken mother. But she knew they weren't 'nothing', they were a part of her, even if it was from the human side she loathed. It was a whirlwind of emotion that threatened to consume her.
"Enough!" she shouted aloud as she clutched her head. But the images kept coming, all her sadness and all her weakness were laid bare for her and the repressed emotions became too much.She fell to her knees with a wail that would put Banshees to shame and repeatedly smashed her forehead into the ground. Any pain was preferable to what she was feeling. She wished she was unconscious, but short of cutting off her head or stabbing herself through the heart, it was impossible for a vampire.
And then her saving grace came, a beacon to help her through the pain, something to focus on other than her own fragility and deficiencies.
'Our connection.' she thought as a familiar feeling spread through her soul. It wrapped her mind in a glow of warmth and held off the onslaught of emotion. And Calla abandoned all thought of her human life, her vampiric life and everything in between. She forgot herself as she dashed off in pursuit of the link, grasping hold of it and refusing to let go. Calla was like a fish on a line, constantly being reeled in with little control over her own fate. But she didn't care because what she wanted, what she needed, was to follow the connection to its destination. It was the only thing saving her from her creeping humanity and weakness.
She wasn't sure how far she'd ran but just before daylight rose, the connection disappeared and she regained herself. She was still solely focused on the link, but was unable to pinpoint it. As the cloud that had wrapped her mind disappeared, Calla became ecstatic. There was no sadness, no resentment or sorrow attached to her human memories. She still felt a desire to be loved, but the connection had sated it for now and it no longer threatened to break down her mind. She marked the direction of the link, and the direction she would soon travel, but for now she had to hide and wait.
That day was much better than the previous. No sentimental attachments to her human life existed any more, they'd been wiped clean. Thinking of the warmth that surrounded her mind, Calla felt the sensation was superior to even that of drinking blood and devouring others for strength.
'It was so nice.' she sighed in her mind as she hid. The place she'd ended up was a small village and she was currently sat in an old shed she'd found. 'It was like it allowed the memories in whilst stripping them of the painful emotions. We don't even want to kill our father any more. Well, we do, but because he is a human and not because of how he treated us.' she debated with herself. 'We forgot our duffle and we need to eat. We hope there is a child or two around here.' It was always annoying when she left Sostine for a couple of days only to stumble upon a village without any children to feast upon. 'Hmm?' Calla's eyebrows raised at nothing in particular as she thought about drinking from kids. 'We no longer want to do our ritual?' she felt it in her mind as she imagined the bathing, the cleaning and the drinking. The lingering connection was extremely possessive and it grew more so, forbidding Calla from her usual hunter feasting ritual. 'Why?' she asked herself.
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'What's the connection doing to us?' she questioned as she conjured up images of all her kills. The screaming, the crying and the pain from humans and vampires alike came to her mind. But she found them all....distasteful. Memories of Lisa's and Sarah's screams no longer brought her pleasure, just indifference. 'It's changing us.' she hissed to herself. 'Why!? Our memories, our hunts, our joy.'It was incredibly scary for Calla and her rational mind told her to stop following the link, sever it and run away. But her instincts and soul told her it was fine. What did it matter if only the connection brought her happiness?
'No.' her mind ground out.
'If this goes on we'll forever be dependent on another.
But we'll be loved and cared for.
But we'll cease to be ourself.
We'll be happy.
We'll be a slave!
We'll be complete.'
Her mind argued back and forth but the allure of the connection proved too much. And when night fell, she hunted a random passer-by, the first time she'd ever drank from a human adult other than her mother. Then she was off in a flash, pursuing the ever growing connection.
She continued in much the same fashion for several days. Chasing, waiting, feeding and then chasing again. But on her journey she was stopped.
"Well, well. What's this?"the male who stopped Calla in an open field said.
"Think its the one they're looking for?" the second one said.
Calla looked between the two men. 'Blood-letters.' she thought as she saw the coloured rims of her eyes and knew she had no way of winning a two on one. She had just attained the rank and hadn't consumed any vampires since.
"I'd say it is brother." the first one looked up a picture on his phone. "Yup. Definitely the Cannibal."
'Someone's looking for us? But we must be hundreds of miles from Sostine. And what's with the nickname?'
"Sirs, we think you're mistaken." Calla said pleasantly with a smile. Even her joy of fighting had dwindled, all she wanted now was to follow the connection to the end.
"I don't think we are. You're Calla right?" the second one said rhetorically. "Calla the Cannibal."
"We've never heard that nickname before." she said with a frown as she looked for ways to escape the pair. They'd never have gotten this close if she wasn't immersing herself in the euphoria of the link. She shoved her coat up at the back and reached for her handgun, only to remember she hadn't reloaded it after shooting the weretiger. 'Shit.' she cursed her own foolishness.
"You didn't know? You're kind of a celebrity in our society." the first added with a laugh. "They've attributed over ninety missing vampires in Sostine to your feeding."
'So it's out, but this is bothering us.' "Only ninety?" she asked flatly which caused the pair's eyes to widen and glance at one another.
"So you are Calla."
"No we aren't." she said, though knew it was futile.
"Yes you are. You're even doing that funny way of speaking." Calla just furrowed her brows in confusion as she looked at the man and he saw she didn't understand. "Small brunette who likes to wear a trench coat and talk about herself in the plural. And we've got a photo of you." he smirked as he flashed the phone screen towards her. Calla growled, hating when anyone couldn't understand that that was the only right way to refer to herself.
"What else does it say here...." the first man seemed to be concentrated on reading something on the phone. "Child blood farmer, possible mental instability or even insanity..." Calla snarled but that only made the man's grin grow. "I don't know why they say 'possible', anyone who eats their own kind obviously has issues." Calla tried to rein in her growing anger and pursed her lips.
"So what do you want with us?" she said dully.
"Well," said the second man whilst scratching his bearded chin, "they've put out a large bounty on you."
"Why?" she quizzed. "We drained some vampires; we don't know of any laws against eating our own kind." she admitted with a shrug.
"Mmmm, maybe not." the first man sounded amused before his tone turned cold. "But assisting mutts against your own kind is."
'Shit.'
"We don't know what you mean." Calla retorted sharply.
"Really? Because some of them were quite adamant that a vampire female named Redgrove was helping them out."
"Well, before they were executed." the second sniffed.
"Indeed. Your little rebellion force didn't achieve much once the clans stopped warring. Not only was the pack wiped out, apparently they even levelled the surrounding forests after." the first gleefully inserted.
'So Avan's dead then? One less for us to do away with.' She wasn't that upset her chance to kill him was denied, all that mattered now was the connection.
"We don't know a Redgrove." Calla didn't even sound convincing to herself. And not to the men either, if their raised brows meant anything.
"Calla Redgrove, disappeared six years ago, age twenty three along with her mother." the first said. Wanting to taunt Calla he added. "It was quite a stupid alias you know. Once it was out, people simply put two and two together, or first and surname." he snickered. "They found your dad too. Hear it took them half a day before they took mercy on him and his girlfriend." The news that someone else she'd wanted dead was gone was very surprising to Calla, but the man didn't get the rise or grief he was hoping to. Instead Calla just smiled sweetly.
'It's because people spend too much time needlessly posturing that opportunities arise. Though it doesn't look like luck is on our side today. No terrain advantage, number disadvantage. We have to flee.' She shuffled her feet back silently, knowing every inch counted. But before she could move further, she found two guns pointing at her.
"We heard you were a hunter. Well we are too, though we don't care by what means we put our target down." They both took aim at her. "You'll be coming with us."
"Okay." she said simply as she raised her hands in surrender. The second lowered his gun and stalked towards her with a chain, ready to bind her. 'We can turn this round, when they are near we'll-'
Her thoughts were cut off by a bullet through the head.