I lay in bed and stared up at the ceiling, feeling a bit afraid to close my eyes. Had I come here to escape my demons or find some new one. I was unsure which, I couldn’t guess at the intent of this cabin and that scared me a little. I reflect back on all the memories that had been dragged up in me since coming here.
“At least I haven’t encountered anything like I did in the bath again, right Bastet?” I ask and reach down to pet her. She hops up onto the bed and curls up to me, purring. Is there any worry that a cat’s purr couldn’t help reduce?
“No reason to think that. It’s sleep time. I keep you safe.” Bastet says. Such a good girl.
“Me protect too!” Anubis said.
I was curious about why their level of speech was as different as it was, but I felt that it would be rude to ask. And I did not enjoy being rude.
“Today was a good day, yes? So no worry, think of happy things.” Bastet says.
Laying down I try to do as Bastet recommends, closing my eyes and trying to think of happy things. It was harder than I thought. Had it always been this hard to think happy thoughts? I will never be able to fly like this. Haha… Ha.
It was fun dancing with Luke. That was a happy thought. My walks and talks with both boys were fun. Those are happy thoughts. When Luke caught me and didn’t try to feel me up? Definitely a happy thought.
How long had it been since she had been handled and touched so respectfully? When did it become the expectation to be touched badly? Had perhaps my expectations fallen too low?
I dig my nails lightly into my hand, giving me a shock to my senses. I was trying to focus on good things… Warm days, soft cats, freshly fallen snow, fun conversations. Feeling calm I slip into dreams.
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“You look beautiful honey.” Mom says and gives me a hug.
“You’ll do great.” Dad says.
It was before my first dance competition in this state. I had been working really hard and me and my partner meshed really well. We had a really fun concept too.
We had mixed a few songs together to make a compilation of a few different genres. We had the stage set up to be a TV, and we had the dance teacher, that helped us create the choreography, holding a remote and when she clicks it the music changes. It was like she was changing the channel. We even had layered outfits that could come undone during the dance, changing them to fit the theme.
I walk out on the stage and up to my partner. He gave me one of the brightest smiles I had ever seen. I had a bit of a crush on him, possibly just because of that bright smile.
“Ready?” he whispers to me.
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“Always” I say. I reach my hands out to him and we get into position.
“Good, I’m going to borrow some of your confidence.”
The music starts. It was an upbeat jive, and I had a poodle skirt on. It was fast and fun! We do I trick and he grabs the skirt during a flip so I land in my next outfit.
It was a knee length schoolgirl skirt, and we danced a modern style dance. We hopped up on desks that had been on the stage, lighting going over to them. We created this part all on our own. We spin and boom, last outfit change. I was in a short red dress, and we danced a fast tango.
We end to cheers. It was the best feeling in the world. Some people threw flowers at us. My dance partner got so excited that he picks me up and spins me around as we both laugh. I am so happy.
Darkness
Darkness spreads. It grows, covering everything with an oppressive weight. I feels as though I am seeing teeth, fangs, eyes. But how can I see anything in all of this darkness? Do I just know that it is there, that it is out there, still looking at me… I feel my blood turn to ice again, my thoughts going sluggish, my body falling through the bed.
I fall into an enclosed space, and it feels remarkably like a bathtub. My thoughts feel a little freer than they had that time, I don’t know if that is good. I look around a bit and wish that I hadn’t. Had I died? Was I in hell?
Instead of something covered in eyes I see a writhing mass of black and red, covered in mouths. It wraps tentacles over me, slithering all over and connecting with scar tissue. Everywhere I had scars on my body those mouths bite down. I want to scream but only smoke seeps out.
I try harder to scream and fight, the teeth tear into me deeper, and I am turned over and staring at a growing puddle of blood… My blood. I don’t know how I know that is what it is as it looks like bubbling tar, but I know. I get thrown down into it, and it is boiling hot, I feel the searing pain for a moment but then everything instantly freezes. I feel as though my entire being shatters along the seams of my scars. This is never ending, I am going to fade away and become part of the heat, ice and smoke.
I feel myself slipping moment by moment. Like holding onto a ledge, dangling above the abyss, I feel my grasp start to weaken. Should I just let go, would that be easier, would it be better?
Darkness
I’m laying in a hospital bed, feeling at peace. I had made up my mind. I felt bad that I was going to use the girl in the bed next to me, but I knew that was the only way. I wish it wasn’t though. She was sweet, and although she was sad she was also witty and charming. I loved the week that we had spent together just conversing.
We had talked about everything that popped into our heads, movies, music, books, games, and whatever else came up. We watched the same shows on the TV and talked about it. Really there wasn’t much else to do in the hospital.
I came up with this idea when I heard her monitors freak out a few times. It seems that she was sick, some sort of infection? Her arms or her lungs? I wasn’t sure, and I tried not to listen when the doctors and nurses were talking about it. I know she tried to do the same for me because I heard her softly singing when they were on my side.
I was going to wait until her monitors went off again. I suppose it was a game I was playing with myself. If her monitors went off again then I would carry out my plan. If they didn’t, then I wouldn’t. It was simple.
I had first come up with the idea when the nurses asked if I minded sharing my room. I was surprised. I don’t think that they had ever put another person in the room next to me. She had been in critical condition, mentally as well as physically and they thought that she could use someone to talk to. Either that, or it was a good excuse… I’m pulled out of my thoughts when I hear it. The monitors.
I climb out of bed and go over to my own machines. I reach out and pull the plug.
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I wake up, which is a strange thing for a ghost to do, but I still did it. I could tell that Aurora was in danger, but what was I supposed to do, what could I do?
Two yellow orbs stare at me from the other side of the room. “Will you give it up?”
“What? Give what up? What am I supposed to do?”
“Give the memory. Give the secret, the lie. Give!”
Noah hesitated for a moment, he wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t a precious memory, if anything he hated it. Wouldn’t it be good to give it up? But, would she know, what would she think?
“She is falling into darkness, back into her death.”
“Okay, okay, I’ll do it!” Noah wasn’t confident, but he wanted to help Aurora, she deserved someone to help her.
A glimmer went through the eyes, and Noah fell back into his not sleep once more. This time though there is an audible sound as his head hit the pillow.
“And thus the first one starts to grow.”