There were times when I did my job with enthusiasm, with fire in my eyes. I got up and enjoyed each new day, because I was sure that it would not be lived in vain: I would get up as usual in the morning, do some housework, go to the store, come home, start making a new work report. I understood that I would be rewarded for such a "feat". How exactly? It's very simple. With the usual "good mood" for the next day. It was formed in me throughout the day from the fact that each action gave me strength and energy, each action inspired me to do hundreds more of the same. But, at one point, everything began to change dramatically...

My name is Takumi, I am 29 years old. I have been working as an analyst in a large financial company for 10 years. For 10 years I woke up to the alarm clock, and the aroma of coffee invigorated me every time, as if it were a breath of fresh air. I was happy with everything during these long, painful and monotonous years, but... at one point something went wrong. It began to manifest itself gradually, as if increasing its strength, as if in layers, covering with a new element every day. There was a wonderful girl working in the company, who was an outstanding employee. Despite her fairly young age, she managed to wipe the noses of many "veterans" of the company.

"…"

"..." Takumi, I see you're coming to work with a smile on your face once again today! What's the reason for that?

"Takumi" Good morning to you too, Yuki! I don't even know... Have you ever woken up like this in the morning and liked everything? Liked the aroma and taste of freshly brewed coffee, the sight of an empty street when you go to work. Has that never happened to you?

"Yuki" You know... Probably, it happened, but only a couple of times, and this "mood" was immediately knocked off when I came to work and saw how many documents I would have to sort through.

"Takumi" Well, imagine that I do this every day, but I'm not bothered by the amount of work I see. After all, we get paid for this. And I like doing it. You know, I'm kind of obsessed with it, like I'm looking for something in all of this... individual! This document has a page designed like this, another one has a different one. Here there's an appeal, here there isn't. Here a signature is needed, and here a seal. It all comes together and doesn't bother me at all.

"Yuki" Yes... You are right that you are "possessed". Looking at our employees, you might think that this is a hotbed of depression, sadness and sorrow. And this is served only for breakfast, or even upon arrival at the office. But the director, and all the people above, are very pleased with your optimism. And that you "illuminate" the office with it. Perhaps they think that in this way others will switch to a "positive" battery. True, this is impossible...

"Takumi" Why is it excluded? I don't think they are doing so badly. I think everyone can find something of their own, or rather their own ray, in such work.

"Yuki" If only it were that simple... Everyone has their own problems, worries at home. And in general, a lot of things. Like me, for example. I...

"Director" Yuki! Stop babbling. Let's get to work, I need these documents in an hour. If they are not on my desk in an hour, this is your last working week!

"Yuki" Well, here's an example...I'm already running!

"Director" And you, our light bulb, don't sit around doing nothing either. Or should I find you something to do?!

"Takumi" No, what are you saying, I'm already on my way to carry out my duties.

I still don't understand what Yuki wanted to say. And I almost learned something new about her...

Yuki is a 27-year-old secretary of our respected director. She does all the paperwork. She is a very pretty, slender girl. In addition, it is very easy to talk to her, the conversation seems to beg itself.

Yuki is very cold to everyone in the company, she has only a working relationship with us. Yes, as I already said, it is easy to talk to her, but the topics of conversation themselves are very standard. Always about work and work. I just want to get closer to her. She attracts me with something, but I can’t figure out why. It happens that a person just attracts and that’s it. True, there may really be many like me, and among them there will clearly be better examples. Especially those that she will not consider strange. But still, I think it’s worth trying…

"…"

At the end of the working day, I decided to make the first move, and first waited for her at the exit from the office.

"Yuki"...and I tell him - you dropped it yourself, so pick it up yourself!

"..."ha-ha-ha!

"Takumi" Yuki! Come here for a second.

"Yuki" A? Okay. That's it guys, see you tomorrow, have a nice evening!

"Yuki" I'm listening.

"Takumi" I wanted to ask...Where do you live?

"Yuki" Wow, why do you need such information? Are you really planning on keeping an eye on whether I come home on time? Or even worse...start watching my door...? Well, Takumi! I didn't expect that from you! Ha-ha-ha.

Yuki began to choke from her own laughter.

"Takumi" No, I didn't! I wanted to know this to understand whether we were on our way home or not...

"Yuki" I live near the embankment. Or wait... you wanted to know this so you could go home together? Am I right?

I started blushing from surprise and trying to say something. But I couldn't do anything except moo. And I couldn't focus my eyes on anything specific, because they were running in different directions from excitement.

"Yuki" You're such a romantic, Takumi! Why didn't you say anything before, why are you so romantic?

Having calmed down a little, I tried to take the situation into my own hands.

"Takumi" If you've had enough of laughing at me, let me tell you. Yes, I was interested in your place of residence solely for this purpose. But not because I'm a romantic, but because it's already late, and it's not permissible for a girl to walk around alone at such a time.

"Yuki" What are you saying...not a romantic, you say...caring, you know, is also part of the beginning of some romantic novel.

Yuki started laughing loudly again.

"Takumi" If you're done, let's go. We're going in the same direction.

"Yuki" Oh! You're so serious. Sometimes you're cheerful and happy, sometimes you're cheerful. You've probably already made up your mind!

"…"

Our entire walk we walked and argued about what kind of person I should be and why I am exactly like this. But, tired of the monotonous answers, Yuki simply accepted defeat.

"Yuki" Okay, I get it. I won't ask you about it anymore. Mister Serious Light Bulb.

"Takumi" Why a light bulb? I hear it all the time, from you, from my boss, from my colleagues. Why and when did it become fashionable to call me that?

"Yuki" Can't you guess?

"Takumi" No.

"Yuki" Come over to my place for tea, then I'll tell you.

This phrase completely threw me off track. Yuki? Invited? Me? To her place for tea? Too many questions...especially thoughts.

"Takumi" Uh, well, I kind of...

"Yuki" Ha-ha-ha! I'm kidding, don't worry. That's my kind of humor.

"Takumi" Humor means... What if I had agreed? What if in my place there was some maniac who first gains trust, and then rapes and kills the victim?! You haven't thought about that?

"Yuki" If it really were so...then I still wouldn't let that person in. But you...I could very well...

She said the last words with a slight grin and at the same moment, as if assessing me, she ran her gaze over me.

"Yuki" Well, it's too late. Thanks for seeing me off, Mr. Serious Light Bulb. See you tomorrow!

"Takumi" See you tomorrow...

Before I could finish speaking, Yuki disappeared behind the door.

"…"

Walking along the deserted path, I kept thinking about her words. Even after arriving home, I couldn’t get the question out of my head:

"Takumi" Did she really want me to come to her house? Or was it really a joke?

These two questions haunted me. If I ask Yuki, he will probably avoid the question again, or even say that the phrase was a joke.

"Takumi" I think it's better not to upset yourself. It will be hard to accept this from her.

It was with these thoughts that I fell asleep.

"…"

I dreamed that Yuki and I were drinking tea at her place, and we were chatting about life topics that were familiar to each of us, and not about those boring, gray, and clearly not joyful work topics.

The dream was very pleasant and intense. It seemed like nothing had happened, but I had already enjoyed it. In general, as always, as always, I enjoy everything. It seems to me that even if there is some kind of catastrophe, I will find some positive note there.

On my way to work, as usual, I saw sad faces of people, and at that moment I remembered Yuki’s words: “Everyone has their own problems, worries at home” …

Household chores... I don't even remember what it is. After all, if you have a family, you need to solve their problems too. This also takes a lot of time and effort. After that, you clearly don't want to go to some job and sit here for another 8-10 hours...

Family... I've already forgotten what it is. As soon as I got a job here, I moved away from my parents to another city. I've been living alone for 10 years. During this time, I haven't had a girlfriend or communicated with any females, except for my mother, of course. Although I don't even communicate with her that often, maybe once every 2-3 months. In my school years... In my school years, I had a lot of friends, girlfriends. It's fashionable to say that I had no end of them. We all

walked together. I watched how the guys built their relationships with each other. It was funny to watch, especially how it all grew into something more. At first, you see them completely closed to each other - then they did not even know each other's names. After - they can already support each other's conversation. Well, and then they communicate together somewhere on the side. Despite all these events, so the company broke up, you could say. Everyone found a partner, but not me. I was not interested in this. In part, this is the reason, but also no less important is the fact that no one confessed to me. I was popular, I communicated with a lot of girls, but there was no confession ... there was never any confession ...

In fact, it's even a little sad to realize that you're almost 30 years old, but you still haven't had a girlfriend, you still don't have a family. It's like I don't need it, but I kind of want someone at home... someone to greet me with the words:

"Takumi" Darling! We've been waiting for you for a long time. Sit down, I've already set the table. You'll never guess what our little guy did today! Anyway, it all started with….

"Yuki" How did it all begin?

"Takumi" A-a-a!

I suddenly came to my senses and jerked in fear.

"Takumi" Have you been here the whole time?

"Yuki" Where should I be at this time?

I looked around and saw that I was standing in front of my office.

"Takumi" Now that's thoughtful...So you heard everything?

"Yuki" Nope. You were muttering something under your breath the whole way, and I only caught the last few words. So, where did it all start and what exactly did it start with?

"Takumi" Don't pay attention. Think out loud.

After these words, I walked on without noticing anyone, as if there was no one there.

"Girl" What's wrong with him today?

"Guy" I don't know myself, he's usually so friendly, says hello to everyone, but today... he doesn't even have a face. Yuki, what happened to you?

"Yuki" Huh? What could have happened to us? You ask as if we live together.

"Girl" We don't know, but yesterday you left together, he was as usual. Today you also came together, but today he is completely different. As if he was replaced.

"Yuki" I don't know, I only met him at the office, and even then, he didn't notice me, just like you, and didn't say hello. We walked the rest of the way to the office in silence, only occasionally did I hear him muttering something under his breath.

It was like everything inside me started to turn over. I couldn't understand what was happening. It was a very... very unusual feeling, I had never experienced it before, I can't even compare it to anything.

"Girl" Takumi! Here you go, you love him, right?

She put a cup of my favorite coffee on the table for me, but I was not attracted by the sight or the aroma, nothing about it appealed to me, and all I could squeeze out of myself as an answer was:

"Takumi" Mg...

I didn't even pay attention to her, I just continued to stare at the monitor in an attempt to somehow distract myself from this whole situation, but alas, the attempts were futile.

"Takumi" Anything else?

"Girl" A...?

"Takumi" You've been standing here for a couple of minutes now, do you need something?

"Girl" A... No, no! I'm already running about my business. I was thinking... just...

After that, I continued staring at the monitor. I still couldn’t get distracted from the thoughts that were overwhelming me. The part about family…why did I suddenly think about it? What was the reason for this? Childhood trauma? No…I spent my childhood in a full-fledged family…

After that, a picture from my childhood came to mind.

In the picture there was only me and my old friend...but why?

"Director" Why are you sleeping on the job?!

A very loud and unexpected scream brought me back to normal.

"Director" The workday is coming to an end, and you still haven't done anything?! What have you been doing all day, tell me? Sleeping?! You know what I do to people like you...

"Takumi" No...what are you saying, I wasn't sleeping at all...I was thinking about this...Project! You assigned me a very interesting topic for the project, so I, so to speak, delved into its study, and, in fact, its detailed analysis.

"Director" I want to remind you that you only have 2 days left before the presentation, even one point will be missing from it... You will fly out of here in an instant!

After these words, he very quickly went back to his office, without even giving me a chance to answer.

"Takumi" This is not like him... he usually never snaps at me...

"Yuki" Yes...apparently you're not the only one who didn't get up on the right side of the bed today.

"Takumi" Huh? What are you talking about, which leg?

"Yuki" Yes, I just decided to lighten the mood.

So it’s not just me who’s showing some changes… Although, maybe I’m winding myself up, maybe the boss just decided to “motivate” me in this way…

"…"

The rest of the time I couldn’t come to my senses, even after such a shake-up from the boss, I don’t understand why everything is so... nothing?

When I went outside, I saw not atmospheric empty streets, but roads and lanterns tired of people, as if they were radiating all this negativity, all this melancholy. The roads seemed to be asking to be forgotten for at least a day, to give them a break.

"Yuki" Why are you standing up? Are you going home?

"Takumi" Probably not. More precisely, I'm going, but I wanted to go myself, if you don't mind.

"Yuki" What's wrong with you today? You've been different all day.

"Takumi" It seems like it's normal, what's wrong?

"Yuki" As usual? You probably don't even notice anyone, because you've gotten used to it, right? You don't greet anyone anymore, because usually no one greets anyone here, right? You're rude to the workers, because that's how it's usually done here, am I right?

"Takumi" What are you talking about? It was just a coincidence that I didn't notice you on my way to the office, I was just lost in my thoughts.

"Yuki" Coincidence? You recently finished work early so that you could meet me before my colleagues. Yesterday you invited me to go for a walk together, and this morning you "just happened" not to notice me, seriously?

"Takumi" What are you starting, well? You say I'm rude to my colleagues, but who have I ever been rude to in all this time?

"Yuki" So the way you responded to the girl who brought you coffee today was a normal reaction?

"Takumi" The girl who brought coffee...Who are you talking about?

"Yuki" Just don't tell me that you didn't notice her at all.

"Takumi" I don't understand what you're talking about, I was working, and then the boss came up to me, reminded me about the deadline for the project and left. Then I just went outside, where I'm standing and talking to you now.

"Yuki" So it's not just that you don't remember. You also don't remember how I came to you.

"Takumi" What are you making up now? What's the point of this? You're accusing me of something that never even happened! Wake up! You didn't like my offer yesterday to walk home together? Then you didn't have to accept it! Although no...

You probably accepted it, and then, when you came home, you started discussing me with your friends! "Oh, you can't imagine, I jokingly invited him for tea, and he got so nervous, as if I was asking for his hand in marriage" - is that how you spoke to them yesterday?!

"Yuki" What?! What are you even talking about? How do you...how dare you say such a thing?! I had the best opinion of you! I always tell the boss that you will do everything, because you are almost the best employee. I always defended you in front of him, and now you say this?! I don't even have words to comment on this...

After that, Yuki bowed her head and walked quickly towards the house, in response I only snorted, and also went home, but along a longer road that went through the park.

Walking in the park, I kept thinking: "Why did I say something rude to her, why? She's not like that, she wouldn't do that..." But I still can't find an answer to my own question.

All the noise that came from the city, the cars, began to merge together. My legs were getting heavier with each step. A little girl was running ahead, she fell, and I just walked past without even looking at her. She clearly needed help.

I ate as soon as I reached the nearest bench.

"Takumi" What's wrong with me...why is this happening? Why can't I feel anything...why am I being rude to everyone? Why are all the sounds so loud and heavy? Why can't I walk normally? Why are my legs getting heavier? Why...

I grabbed my head, pressed it to my knees and just started crying. Quietly crying.

Suddenly I felt that there was someone nearby. And suddenly someone's voice was heard. It was a girl.

"Girl" Hey, boy, why are you sad? Everything will be fine. It will be fine when we meet.

I couldn't lift my head to see who it was. My head went blank from these thoughts and I seemed to switch off.

"…"

Still not having found answers to all the questions, I continued to sit on the bench, but after I calmed down a bit, I went home.

When I got home, I noticed that according to the clock it was already deep night, and I should have been asleep long ago.

"Takumi" How long did I sit there... And in vain...

I just collapsed, like a lifeless body, on the bed and closed my eyes. It was as if I had died, or maybe not, maybe I did die, but only in a moral sense...

Tomorrow will show...

"…"

I woke up from a pleasant aroma... where was it coming from? I opened my eyes a little, and my gaze fell on the open window, which I forgot to close last night. I looked at the glass, drops were quickly rolling down it, it was quite charming.

"Takumi" Petrichor...

That's what this smell is called. The smell after rain. It's my favorite, but... why do I like it so much, and do many people like it? Maybe because precipitation fills the air with "traces" of essential oils knocked out by drops from the earth's surface. The rain stream creates an analogue of an aerosol with odorous compounds, and moisture and heat help us feel them.

But these are just provisions, of no use to anyone except me.

I stared out the window for a long time, trying to remember yesterday evening.

"Takumi" What a moron I am...

I only remembered how I treated Yuki, and after that, everything is a blur. If everything is a blur, then nothing important happened, right?

I quickly got dressed and ran to work.

I left much earlier, because I still had to figure out how to apologize to her...

"Takumi" Maybe flowers? A box of chocolates? Wouldn't that be too corny? What does she like anyway? What do I like anyway?..

The thoughts from yesterday started to visit me again, but I tried to push them away in every possible way.

What do I know about Yuki...What might she like...I have one idea!

Half an hour later I was already on my way to work with a gift.

When I arrived at the office, everyone looked at me with some surprise, however, it is not surprising. Considering how I behaved yesterday, and the fact that they could have witnessed our incident with Yuki in the evening.

"Yuki"...and after that they didn't even kiss, you know?!

"Girl" Oh come on... These new episodes are killing me... And I'll have to wait another week for the new one! I can't stand it...

"Yuki" You can't say that... They're torturing us, the fans. Well, I'm off. Good job!

Yuki walked down the corridor and talked with her colleague, but it was as if something was missing in her...

"Takumi" Yuki! Hello, listen, here's the deal...

"Yuki" I have nothing to discuss with you. And besides, I'm already leaving.

"Takumi" Wait, please listen to me.

She didn't listen to me and just continued walking towards the exit. But I wasn't going to give up so quickly either.

"Takumi" Wait a minute!

I grabbed her hand on the stairs.

"Yuki" Ouch! That hurts! What are you doing?! Have you gone completely mad?!

"Takumi" I'm sorry... I didn't mean to. Can you please listen to me...

"Yuki" Let me go first. It looks like you're holding me hostage.

I let go of her hand. She started stroking it. Apparently I overdid it…

"Takumi" Sorry again...

"Yuki" Well, what were you going to talk about? I don't have much time.

"Takumi" I wanted to talk about yesterday.

"Yuki" Overnight, did you think of anything else you could say to me? Thank you, but I don't intend to hear anything like that addressed to me anymore.

"Takumi" No! Forgive me, I don't know what came over me... Everything seemed to have... changed! I wasn't myself then, I didn't feel everything as usual. Yes, you may think that I'm making excuses now, but that's not true. I'm truly sincerely sorry for the words I said that night. If you can, please forgive me and accept it.

I handed her a figurine from her favorite anime series.

"Yuki" So you were able to remember even such a small thing...

"Takumi" A trifle?! How can you call it a "trifle"? This is what you like, and if you like it, then I can't help but pay attention to it. You are dear to me after all, and you are not the last person in my circle, and certainly not the last in my world.

"Takumi" Is that why you were rude to me all day yesterday?

"Takumi" Not at all, what are you saying. I don't even know why I acted like that all day. Like I said, I wasn't myself.

"Yuki" Well. One figurine won't be enough. If we had a joint dinner, that would be another matter.

"Takumi" Tomorrow. At 7 pm. At my place. I'll come pick you up.

"Yuki" Okay then. So you want to impress me, since you didn't invite me to a restaurant.

"Takumi" Oh yeah! Believe me, I have something to surprise you with!

"Yuki" I'll be looking forward to it. But now I really have to go, sorry. And thanks for the figurine! I'll treasure it.

"Takumi" You're welcome. Wait, I also wanted to ask, where are you going? It's only the beginning of the work day.

But she no longer heard, it was as if she had dissolved into space, for she immediately disappeared from sight.

So, having understood where Yuki was headed, I continued doing my work.

My routine...

"…"

The day turned out to be very long, boring, and also difficult. Was it really Yuki who affected me so much? Or rather, her absence from the office. And in general, the situation around her made me nervous. I can’t forget what I said to her then.

Today I also decided to go home a different way. Again through the park.

There was fog outside. The light from the street lamps softly dispersed across the street, making the silhouettes of passers-by barely distinguishable, as if they were just shadows. Just as invisible…

Once again, that moment from a couple of years ago has caught up with me. Thoughts have started to creep into my head again... not very pleasant ones. I can't help but notice them, or maybe... or maybe I shouldn't? After all, everything doesn't just happen like that, does it? Maybe I've already become part of the "shadow"? Lately, everything has become blurry and unclear - faces, voices, events. Maybe I've become just a shadow for everyone, an invisible part of this foggy world? Or is it that I've stopped noticing those around me, immersed in my thoughts, hiding behind a wall of indifference? When was the last time I joyfully greeted passersby who were walking to work with gloomy faces? Trying to somehow smooth out their already difficult morning. When was the last time I rejoiced at the aroma of invigorating coffee? When was the last time I was thanked for a little help? Everything has become so... so gray... and this has been going on for several years, if you think about it deeply. But why did this only occur to me now? Only when I decided to make some changes in my life. Some changes in my personal life.

All these thoughts led me deep into the park, to that very bench where I had recently sat and quietly shed tears, not understanding what was happening at all.

This time it felt different, somehow...special? Everything merged together:

my thoughts, this fog...this girl's voice that wouldn't leave my head...

"Girl" And again I see you in the park, in exactly the same state! Why have you let yourself go like this?! You used to be so cheerful, you couldn't even think about anything! And now? What happened to you now?

I couldn't make out who it was. The face was hidden by the thick fog. The voice was interrupted by the wind. But I will say one thing. This is definitely the same girl I met recently...here, in the same place.

"Takumi" I don't know... I have so many questions, but I don't have answers to even one of them. I don't know what to do.

"Girl" What to do? Hmm, maybe listen to your heart?

"Takumi" Your heart?

"Girl" Yes, that's right! Don't try to be perfect for everyone, don't try to please everyone - it's impossible! Try only for yourself, so that you feel comfortable. Love, enjoy, rejoice, and most importantly - live!

"Takumi" Enjoy...love...rejoice...?

The girl seemed to know me, as if she understood who I was, where I was from, what I felt. As if she was me. As if my double, who was trying to convey some truth to me, only in a female guise.

After a couple of minutes, I finally decided to raise my head and look at this girl, but...

"Takumi" You talk like you know me, like you feel the same way I do. Like you're me, just a female version. Maybe I really s...

Here I looked up and saw that I was talking to myself. There was no one around. Only fog. I started to have thoughts that I was going crazy. This girl appears again when I feel bad, and as soon as I draw some conclusions, she immediately disappears. It's pure mysticism.

"…"

Today I have to meet Yuki, it has to be a special meeting. All these few days I have been thinking about my feelings towards her and I decided that it is better to act now than to wait until I completely drown in my heavy, dark and thick, like fog, thoughts.

"…"

I got up as easily as usual, as if nothing had happened last night, as if I hadn’t sat and listened to advice from the “mystical girl.” And that scares me.

It doesn't matter now, because in the evening I will take the first step towards changes in my life.

We need to think of something to surprise her with. What culinary dish can surprise a young, beautiful girl? I'm sure she's tried a lot of delicacies in her life, so I can't ruin everything... Maybe I should invite her to a restaurant after all... Well, it's not too late yet.

"Takumi" So! Don't even think about it. I'll prove myself and then we'll have a good talk.

My choice fell on "okonomiyaki" and "unagi donburi". "Okonomiyaki" is a Japanese "pizza" or "pancake" made with cabbage, meat or seafood and a special sauce. I can make it with different fillings to give it variety, and most importantly, to surprise Yuki with the combination of flavors. "Unagi donbari" is a very sophisticated and special dish. Grilled eel with teriyaki sauce is served on rice, which makes it not only delicious, but also

symbolic, because eel is considered a delicacy in Japan. These will be the main dishes. The rest will come as I go. Well, good luck to me, I suppose…

"…"

I stood in the kitchen all day without leaving, I have never sat in the kitchen like this before. Usually I cooked something quick and easy, most importantly - not too much. I don't like when food sits for a long time, and you have to heat it up every day. It's better to cook something new, not complicated, but hot off the stove!

It's 6:00 pm, time to go get Yuki...

All the way to her I was thinking about only one thing: “How to tell her about my feelings? How to do it? In what manner to present it? What moment should I choose for this? Is it too early? What will she say in response? Will I look stupid?” All these thoughts did not give me peace, I can not calm down…

"Takumi" Okay, why guess? I'll find out soon enough.

When I got to her house, I waited a little.

A few minutes later, the door swung open. Yuki walked out of the house like a ray of light piercing the morning mist. She was wearing a silky, deep wine-colored dress that flowed along her figure, emphasizing every curve with exquisite grace. The thin straps slid easily over her shoulders, and a light breeze played with the hem of the dress, causing it to sway gently.

Her hair, sparkling in the morning sun, was styled in neat waves, each strand of which seemed designed to catch the light and reflect it back. Delicate earrings sparkled in her ears, barely noticeably rolling with each movement, like miniature stars following her. Light makeup only emphasized her natural beauty, making her facial features even more expressive -

the eyes shone brighter, and the lips were covered with a delicate shine, like rose petals.

I couldn't look away. The moment she stepped through the door, the entire world around me froze, ceased to exist. Time seemed to stop, and only her presence filled the entire space. Yuki's every movement was both light and majestic, as if she were floating above the ground, wrapped in the magic of this moment. My heart skipped a beat, and my breath caught, I felt something inside me turn over.

I tried to speak, but the words were stuck in my throat. My mind was in the grip of her charm, and all I could do was stare at her in silence, enjoying her every step, every glance, every flutter of her eyelashes. She was perfection to me, so flawless that her very presence made me forget about everything else in the world.

"Yuki" Why are you standing there rooted to the spot?

"Takumi" I...This is...

I still couldn't come to my senses.

"Takumi" I can't take my eyes off how beautiful you are today. I usually see you in uniform at the office, but when I see you like this...outside of work hours...I'm captivated.

"Yuki" T-t-thank you...

It was obvious that she was embarrassed by my words. But if only she knew how much I was delighted with her appearance...

"Takumi" Well, shall we go?

"Yuki" Of course!

"…"

Upon arriving home, we immediately sat down at the table.

At the table, Yuki chatted non-stop. I knew she could easily hold a conversation, but I had never seen her so involved. She seemed to glow as she talked about work, about colleagues and friends who bought shoes from the wrong collection. Every word she said was filled with energy, genuine joy and the worries of everyday life, but there was something magnetic about it. She was all aglow, her eyes sparkled with interest in her own story, and even simple things seemed important and unique when she talked about them.

I found it incredibly interesting to listen to her. Every word, every gesture, even the slight smile on her lips - all of it was captivating. There was a life in her voice that I was missing, as if her enthusiasm was the source that I was imperceptibly striving for.

Of course, I also tried to keep up the conversation, told her about my affairs and news, but more often than not I caught myself simply dissolving in her words. It was as if she filled the voids inside me, making up for the deficit of emotions that I had long since stopped noticing. Her stories, sometimes so ordinary, were like a ray of light in the darkness for me.

Every time she laughed or enthusiastically explained something, I couldn’t help but compare our lives. She was full of energy, smiles, caring about little things, and I was lost in my thoughts, slowly getting bogged down in my world. But in those moments, I forgot about everything. I just listened to her, catching every word, and thought about how lucky I was to be next to such a person.

She noticed this and decided to find out what the reason was.

"Yuki" ...and then she says: "I'm my own fashion designer!" Ha-ha-ha!

"Takumi" Hahaha! Yes, it's really funny!

"Yuki" Listen, I notice that you seem a little... detached right now, as if you're somewhere in another world. You seem to be listening to what I'm saying, but you don't hear it. Tell me, is that true, and what's the reason?

"Takumi" No, no, what are you saying! I really like listening to you, I delve into your stories with great interest. It's really interesting for me to sit and talk with you now. But you're partly right, yes, I think a little and delve into my thoughts from time to time.

"Yuki" What happened? Maybe something is bothering you? Maybe I did something wrong?

"Takumi" No, what are you saying. You only make me happy today, I am very happy that I was able to see you like this. I don't think I can say what's in my head...

"Yuki" Why? Is this something serious?

"Takumi" Yes and no...

Okay, enough stalling. Either I speak up or I'll remain a lonely coward for the rest of my life!

"Yuki" I don't quite understand...

"Takumi" The thing is, I've liked you for a long time. Lately, I can't take my eyes off you. As soon as I look at you, I immediately replenish my energy reserves, my soul immediately feels good. Your eyes... they are so beautiful, their color is so deep that I just want to drown in them. Plunge into your world, get to know you better. In the evenings, I imagined how we could just lie in an embrace, and at this time we would be as if in another world, where there is no one but us. In a world - full of peace. I understand that all this is quite unexpected, if you need to think - I will wait as long as it takes. I am ready to accept any answer.

"Yuki" Takumi...

Her voice was full of tenderness and surprise, and I waited for a reaction. I don’t know what will happen next, but inside I feel that I have finally become honest with myself and with her.

"Yuki" Takumi... It's all so unexpected, so...

"Takumi" Yes, I know. I decided that I'd rather confess now than be a coward and keep quiet.

"Yuki" I understand, but the thing is...

I was already prepared to accept the rejection. It wouldn't be surprising. Yuki is such a beautiful, such a confident girl. I'm not a match for her, I'm simply not worthy of her. What did I expect...

"Takumi" That I'm not your level? If so, then I'll definitely become better! I'll change, really. Just wait a little bit...

"Yuki" Fool! Let me finish!

"Takumi" ...

"Yuki" The thing is, I've been feeling the same way about you for the past few weeks. I can't explain when and how exactly it happened. Maybe a whole bunch of events played a role, but the fact remains a fact. I care about you too, Takumi.

"Takumi" ...

I was stunned again. I didn't know how to react to this. I was preparing to accept a refusal... So, I was not indifferent all this time? That's why she changed her attitude towards me a little...

"Yuki" Why are you silent?! Say at least something...

"Takumi" I just can't believe it! I... I'm so happy right now that you can't imagine!

I rushed into her arms.

We spent the rest of the evening hugging each other.

"…"

I woke up from the pleasant aroma of coffee, from the gentle rays of the sun that broke through the window straight into my face. As always...

Last night was special. Even though we both confessed our feelings, there was something about it… something special. I haven’t experienced a feeling like this before, so it’s hard for me to compare it to anything. It was like I knew what would happen. Like I was prepared not for her rejection, but the opposite. This feeling is very strange… but… so pleasant, warm… As if I achieved what I wanted, only what to do next… I haven’t had a relationship until recently, and I don’t know how to behave in one. It will be difficult to learn based only on Yuki. She certainly has some experience in this. I will be very surprised if this is not the case. In the meantime… for now, I need to think about how much this will affect me, and whether it is worth starting one at all…

"Takumi" Nonsense! I was so worried, so many nerves were spent. So many hopes, thoughts went into this evening! I prepared for it quite a bit, in terms of morale. And now just give up?! No way! And what to do next - time will tell. You can learn everything. I will try. Maybe not for myself, but definitely for her.

And really, I've been completely lost lately. The monotonous environment has begun to have a strong effect on me. Before, I was happy with everything, everything, down to the smallest details, but now it's starting to irritate me. I've already started changing the order of my actions around the house, the route to work, and all the other little things... But it doesn't help. Apparently, the changes are too insignificant... More global actions are needed. Otherwise, I won't be able to stand it...

"…"

When I got to the office, I saw Yuki waiting for me at the very entrance. A smile appeared on my face, and my mood instantly improved several times. Maybe Yuki will become my "ray of hope" that will help me get out of this gray routine.

"Yuki" I see you're in a good mood today, that you're sparkling again.

"Takumi" How can you not be in a good mood when such a charming girl stands in front of you? Just looking at you, you immediately forget about your troubles and understand for whom you need to try and change.

"Yuki" What have you started...

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She blushed noticeably, and the colleagues standing nearby did not understand what had come over us. I think they understood what was going on, understood that sooner or later Yuki and I would be together.

"Takumi" Well, let's go to work?

"Yuki" Of course, let's go.

"…"

At the end of the working day we went to the park, as it turned out we both love this park. Especially for its uniqueness.

"Takumi" There are practically no people here, as usual...

The weather was like last time, fog, light fog, which complemented the whole image of a mysterious and at the same time calm town.

We sat down on the same bench where I had sat earlier, trying to find a solution to all my problems. I didn't know that the solution would be so close...

"Yuki" Why did we sit here? There are plenty of other free benches in the park.

"Takumi" This is not an ordinary place, it is special. Look straight ahead, what do you see?

Right in front of her, behind the fence, there was a small pond, with a soft, thin layer of fog spreading across it. It was like a shell, a shell of something deep, mysterious, but at the same time beautiful "something". The fog seemed to always be this shell, even in the city. The rays from the lanterns acted as that very "salvation", that very "hope" that it was possible to pass through the shell. They seemed to signal that one should not give up and that one must look for more and more new ways to solve the problem. Try to go around "at an angle", as lanterns do.

"Yuki" Yes, I see... the pond is unusually beautiful at such a time. I didn't even notice it before, although fogs are a frequent occurrence here, but I rarely went into the park at such times, and even more so looked at such a picture. Apparently, it was a big mistake... It looks mesmerizing.

To tell the truth, this is not the main reason why I chose this place. The main reason is that there are not many people walking on this road, it looks very remote, which means that there will not be many people walking on it, therefore I could sit here peacefully alone.

I felt unusually calm and easy next to her, maybe I really wasn’t mistaken in my choice…

"…"

We walked regularly. Not only in the park. We went to cafes, cinemas, theaters, restaurants. Thanks to this, I learned a lot about her. This is not surprising, because, before that, we essentially did not know each other very well. Yes, I knew about some of her "superficial" habits, about her hobbies, her morals, and so on, but now I began to get to know a new version of Yuki. I began to get to know a new person.

It was very pleasant for me to get to know her new, to discover her as a complete person, even though I am assembling this puzzle in pieces. The main thing is that I will assemble the complete

painting, and I will admire it. I will be proud of myself for not being afraid of problems, disagreements or ordinary quarrels that arose between us regularly. Of course, I am also to blame for this, because, basically, both are to blame for the quarrel, but the main thing is that we solved them, solved them together.

I don't know if she was also interested in getting to know me, because I didn't really tell her much about myself. On the contrary, I talked to her non-stop. I tried to get to know her better, to learn her true morals, interests, hobbies. As it turned out, they are fundamentally different from those that my colleagues know.

There were only a few reasons why I didn't tell anyone about myself. They were pretty stupid, because all of this could have been, or even should have been, experienced in adolescence. These problems were related to past experience, or rather, as an experience, an attempt. Of course, I already mentioned that I hadn't had much contact with women before, but somehow I decided to try. The result: I was completely broken and lost for the next couple of months. It was an ordinary school love that lasted for 2 months at most, as I then considered it "2 months of my first, serious, love!" Ironically, I was rejected because I was too active in our "relationship". There was a lot of me. I wanted a lot from her: to go to that place, to see this, to choose one, to go to a completely unknown place, the main thing is together. Alas, she didn't want it. That's how my first experience ended. It seems to be a classic story, but how traumatic. Many people tend to mock those who "suffer»after such a relationship, but This is stupid. After all, you never know how exactly you could react to this or that situation, and besides, you will never know all the details of this relationship.

It was because of my silence, because of my sudden change in behavior, which was like a swing, that we mostly quarreled. Unfortunately, the change in behavior has not gone away during this time, I, as before, find myself between two positions: in one I am full of strength and energy, cheerful; in the other - like a tumbleweed

a field that doesn't care about anything, it simply exists, moves where the wind takes it, it lives "with the flow", and so have I become. However, I began to burn out, burn out from all this, but I am trying to fight it, and lately I seem to be succeeding. I can't say that I am 100% successful, but I feel that with each meeting with her, with each of our sincere dialogues, I feel that it is becoming easier and better for me, which is why from time to time she can start such a dialogue.

"Yuki" Listen, maybe you'll talk more about yourself? You just keep saying "tell me about yourself" and that's it. When will I learn something from you? When will you wish me your secrets? When will you open up in a new way?

"Takumi" I don't know... I'm not used to doing this, I like to listen to people rather than talk. Maybe that's why I have such a problem now with expressing my thoughts, feelings that have accumulated like a lump in my soul.

"Yuki" I think you have no problem expressing your thoughts. At least in printed form.

"Takumi" What? What are you talking about now?

"Yuki" I somehow accidentally came across your diary...

"Takumi" What? Where did you see him?

"Yuki" In your room...

"Takumi" I asked you not to go there... Okay, fine. I hope you haven't read it?

"Yuki" Sorry... I couldn't resist and read a couple of pages...

"Takumi" Go on.

I kept a diary when my behavior started to fluctuate. I kept it to stay a little bit "alive" when everything was really bad. I wrote down all my thoughts, all my warm memories,

that came over me in the moment. I wrote all this down in a presentation, as if it were some kind of story that would be promoted to the masses, with a hidden subtext, as if some kind of “sign” for the reader, to touch the moral side of the person reading this work.

"Yuki" I liked the way you express your thoughts on a piece of paper, you choose interesting epithets that colorfully complement the overall picture. I like your delivery: it's as if you're addressing the reader, as if someone else will be reading it besides you. After I saw and read it, I had a question: why don't you express the same thoughts when talking to me? When we're lying next to each other like this. What's the reason? Maybe you're not comfortable with me?

"Takumi" No...what are you saying, I feel very comfortable with you, if only you knew how much...

"Yuki" Then what is the reason? Tell me, I am also worried, I am also concerned about you!

"Takumi" I write all this only when I'm tired. I could sit down after a hard day and write something down. When I'm tired, it's easier for me to talk about such "deep topics", it's easier for me to open up to someone, it's easier to listen and support anyone, but that's the problem. When I'm in this state, for some reason I'm very... sensitive. I don't know what it's connected with, but I can be hurt by anything, even the slightest joke. That's why I try not to show myself in this state in public, to avoid very unpleasant situations.

"Yuki" Are you telling me all this because you are also tired...?

"Takumi" Yeah...I'm pretty tired lately, this burnout is taking a lot of my

energy...

"Yuki" Takumi...

"Takumi" What?

"Yuki" I wish you were tired more often...

"Takumi" What?

"Yuki" Don't get me wrong. I just want to get to know you better. So that you finally don't write everything down in a diary, but tell me. Don't share your feelings and emotions with a pen, but with me. So that it's not the paper that's in the listener's field, but me. I want to be your diary! Tell me everything you think about, worry about. Tell me what you feel! Takumi, I wish you were tired more often...

“I wish you were tired more often...” she said to me very casually and dreamily.

For a long time I couldn’t understand whether she was serious or not, but I listened to these words for a long time and didn’t pay attention to anything… Perhaps, at that moment I was in some other, extraterrestrial world. In a world where peace reigns, in a world where you are happy. Just one sentence was able to melt my icy heart and show what another world could be like: a world of other people, a world of new acquaintances. She continued to tell me something, asked me questions, but I didn’t hear… right now I wanted to open up to her even more, to show her my world even more…

Then, for the first time in a long time, I decided to open up to someone a little again, to let them get closer... after all, I, like any other living being, want to feel warmth next to me... not only in the physical plane... then I was worried about communicating with the opposite sex, but, on that very day, on that very night, I realized that I was not mistaken... I was not mistaken in my choice.

Afterwards, I felt something similar... I also wanted to get tired more and more often, so that I could open up to her more and more and let her into my world...

"Takumi" Yuki...

"Yuki" Yes?

"Takumi" I love you...so much.

"Yuki" And I love you too, Takumi!

"…"

“The morning after such an evening can’t be terrible,” I thought until that moment.

When I woke up, I felt an immeasurable heaviness, emptiness. I felt disgust for something, such disgust is somewhat different from disgust for food, or for a person. I suddenly lost my strength. I didn’t even want to think. I just wanted to lie and lie… After all, why do anything if it doesn’t make sense? Why go somewhere, fuss, if you can do the opposite? You can just not worry about it. Let everything resolve itself, why can’t you rest?

My train of thought was interrupted by a phone call.

"Takumi" I'm listening.

"Yuki" Good morning, my boy! I'm calling to find out if you're still asleep or not, and also to hear your voice. You haven't forgotten that we have to work on the project today, have you?

"Takumi" Mg.

"Yuki" You're probably not fully awake yet. Oh, and I was so hoping to hear your sleepy voice... Then I'll see you at the office, don't be late!

I hung up silently.

This call from the very morning slightly pissed me off.

What was the problem with calling a little later? Why did she need to know

everything in great detail?

I caught myself hating Yuki. Hating her for literally nothing. Why am I like this? Why have I become such a jerk who doesn't care not only about himself, but also about his beloved? Why do I answer her like this? I don't want to harm her morally, I don't want... It's like it's just bursting out on its own.

This whole internal struggle has been going on inside me for a long time, but the winner has not yet been determined, and it seems to me that he will soon. It is literally a war with myself, a war that will never end. It will not end only because of my weakness, only because of me, the coward that I have been all my life. A coward who could not leave any of my comfort zones. I always did what only I liked, I never listened to others, but only said with a smile: “Yes, of course I will take your advice! It will really help me!” Why have I always been like this... Right now this weakness of mine is killing me. I need to do something, otherwise... Otherwise this weakness will destroy me, and most importantly - Yuki.

"…"

I felt a little better in the office, I was no longer so angry at everything that was happening around me, I was more cheerful and ready for new challenges.

"Yuki" Oh, you've finally come!

"Takumi" Yes, of course! How could I not come when we have a joint project?

"Yuki" Well done! Come on, I'll give you some part that needs to be done today.

She and I started going up to our floor. Along the way, people who looked at my face stood as if in a stupor. As soon as they encountered my gaze, they immediately looked away. It's so annoying... Do I really irritate you that much...

But I can't, I can't lose my temper now... Although, what kind of temper are we talking about if I don't even have the strength to hold a conversation with Yuki. All I want is to just lie in bed. Although even that doesn't

brings relief. I don't want anything, not even death, despite the exhausting life that surrounds me all this time. It would seem that a glimmer of hope has appeared, a ray of light that could change everything... But no. It didn't change anything. Or maybe it's my fault? I, who couldn't accept this ray of hope, I, who began to reject it, showing only coldness, aggression and complete indifference to everything. I am too weak to cope with such a strong girl who sincerely wanted to be with me...

"Yuki" Look, I'll take care of this part, but I'll need you to find information about this and...this block.

"Takumi" Okay, anything else?

"Yuki" In general, yes, but... if you can handle all of this, please do this part too. I'm afraid I've put a lot of pressure on myself, so I don't know if I'll do it.

"Takumi" Of course, I'll be only too happy to make your work easier. You need to rest, too.

"Yuki" Thank you very much! I really count on you... We literally have 3 days for this... So please, let's do it.

"Takumi" You can count on me.

Can I count on myself? I feel worse and worse every day... And then she tells me such things. Why at this moment? I need to find strength.

"…"

I spent the whole day studying the tasks given to me, but did I find a solution to them? It's hard to say... It's like I'm in a labyrinth with no way out. Like a vicious circle, and I'm a burning match in it, about to go out completely...

"Yuki" How are you? Did you manage to find anything? If you can't find anything, just tell me and I'll try to help.

"Takumi" Everything is going well, I think I'll even have time to do your part.

"Yuki" Really? Very good! You've worked hard for the first day. It's time to rest. Shall we go home together?

"Takumi" Sorry, but today, probably without me.

"Yuki" What? Why?

"Takumi" I wanted to stay here longer. I need to find some information, unfortunately, it is stored only in the files here. No matter how much I searched on the Internet - there is nothing.

"Yuki" Since that's the case, let me stay too! Together we'll find it faster, which means we'll finish it faster. Especially since this is our common work.

"Takumi" I don't want you to strain yourself any further. I'll take care of that part. So you better go home and get a good night's sleep, because tomorrow is also going to be a tough day. I'll go home straight away as soon as I'm done. I promise.

"Yuki" You're right about that... But if you promise, then good. The main thing is don't sit here until late and don't kill yourself.

"Takumi" Of course! Good night.

"Yuki" of the Night!

"…"

A couple of hours later, there was no one left in the office except me and the security guard on the first floor. The files I needed were located one floor below, in some basement. I've only been there a couple of times, when I needed to get some old files for our boss. I sincerely hope the files I need are there.

Having somehow found the necessary files, I hurried back to the office at the computer to make adjustments to my part of the work.

I settled down and started working, but… something was wrong, I felt cold sweat breaking out on my forehead. I looked at the computer screen, but the letters started to blur before my eyes, as if something was pulling my mind into the abyss. My chest tightened, and I found it hard to breathe. Suddenly I felt a lump in my throat, something hot and unpleasant approaching the very edge.

"What's wrong with me?" flashed through my mind. I instinctively grabbed the edge of the table, feeling my body tremble treacherously. I tried to take a deep breath, but that only made things worse. I barely made it to the toilet before I was shaken by vomiting that seemed to have no intention of stopping.

At that moment, my mind was torn apart. “Why is this happening? I’m trying. I’m doing everything for Yuki, for us, for this project…” But inside me, in addition to the physical torment, fear slowly began to grow. It wasn’t just stress, it wasn’t just fatigue — it was something more, something I could no longer control.

The vomiting didn't stop, and with each push I felt like not only the contents of my stomach were leaving me, but also all my inner energy, my strength, my aspirations. When everything finally calmed down, I slowly slid down to the cold floor, feeling my head spinning. "How is this possible?" I thought, trying to collect my thoughts. "I just can't... I can't cope..."

That moment was like an awakening – but not in a good way. It was the realization that everything was spinning out of my control. I was no longer the master of my body, my thoughts. All that was left was a feeble feeling of weakness and emptiness that only grew stronger.

"…"

I sat on the cold toilet floor, my breathing gradually evened out, but the feeling of weakness did not go away. My head was still spinning, and my stomach was twisted from tension. I looked at the white tiles in front of me, seeing nothing in them - only emptiness. My hands were shaking, and even trying to get up from the floor seemed like a feat.

For a few minutes I just sat there, feeling time pass me by like a river that couldn't be stopped. I needed to move, I needed to do something, but every thought felt heavy, as if my mind had closed itself off from the outside world.

Gathering my last strength, I slowly stood up, leaning against the wall. My legs were slightly wobbly, but I stubbornly clenched my jaw. I couldn’t stay here. Not now. I had to leave.

As I returned to my desk, my gaze fell on the computer screen, where the project was still displayed. I stared at it for a moment, as if I didn’t understand what these numbers and graphs were, or why they were so important. But then I realized—it didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered to me at that moment was getting out of here.

I slowly gathered my things, my movements mechanical, almost automatic. My hands clenched and unclenched my bag nervously as I tried to focus on what I needed to do next. I just needed to get outside, breathe in some fresh air, and try to find some clarity amidst the chaos in my head.

Reaching the exit, I paused for a moment at the door, looked at the office for the last time - a place that used to be a symbol of my work, my achievements. But now it seemed like just an empty space, where nothing remained from my former life.

I stepped outside and the cold air hit me in the face like a slap. It was the only real moment of the day, the moment when I

for the first time I felt something real. But even this feeling did not bring me back to life. I still felt empty inside.

"…"

The deep night had already fallen on the city, but cars were still driving along the main street, and people were in no hurry to disperse, calmly strolling under the night sky. My feet again brought me to the park, where I had been in the most difficult moments. But today there was something different, something special. Strangely enough, there were still people in the park. It was not full, but it did not smell empty either.

I immediately remembered that girl who came up to me time after time as soon as I sat down on the last bench. I approached that place again and, with my head down, began to wait.

What was I waiting for? Why am I waiting here for some girl when I have Yuki? These questions haunted me, but I also didn't want to leave here, as if this girl meant something to me. She was like some kind of symbol for me... only I didn't fully understand what a symbol of...

I sat for some time and, not having waited for her, decided to leave. I don’t know if she was ever real or if it was just my imagination, but I know one thing – she helped me. She helped me calm down, come to my senses. I probably came to her for this this time, but she wasn’t there. I can’t get her phrase out of my head: “Everything will be fine when we meet.”

With these thoughts, I hobbled home, collapsed into bed and passed out almost immediately.

"…"

Waking up in the morning, the only thing I wanted was to close my eyes again and not feel this endless fatigue. My body refused to obey, every muscle protested against starting

a new day. The simple thought that I had to get up and do something seemed like an unbearable burden.

All the anxiety I had before disappeared. Along with that, a feeling appeared that I had forgotten something very important, but at the same moment I became indifferent.

I reluctantly got dressed and went back to work in this disgusting office where I had to spend the whole day. How tired I was of this.

As soon as I entered the office, a joyful Yuki ran up to me.

"Yuki" Morning! Oh... Did you even sleep? You look awful! What time did you leave work yesterday?

I didn't answer her, I just walked past her. It was the first time I could remember ignoring Yuki.

Just like her, my colleagues tried to talk to me, but I ignored them just as much. I'm not interested in what they want to ask me, what to talk about. I don't care about that. All I care about is leaving this rotten, soul-sucking place as soon as possible.

I took my desk again and turned on my computer. My desktop was cluttered with folders and files, but one immediately caught my attention: “joint project.” Joint project? With whom? I can’t remember the face or the details. Since I didn’t write it down, it certainly wasn’t that important. Maybe one of my colleagues had used my computer while I was away. They used to do that a lot.

Yuki came up to me again.

"Yuki" Why are you avoiding me? Did something happen last night? If there are any problems with the project, tell me. I will definitely help.

So that's what the project is. Now I remember a little. It must be important to

her, since she's so worried about it.

"Takumi" Yes, I have some file with a project here, you can take a look, I don't mind.

"Yuki" You're not yourself today. Are you okay?

"Takumi" I'm fine. Can you please do it faster?

"Yuki" Are you in a hurry?

"Takumi" Yes. I want to get out of this bug-infested place as soon as possible.

"Yuki" No, you're clearly not okay.

"Takumi" As you wish.

"Yuki" How about I come to your place after work and we can discuss everything there?

"Takumi" Will you watch the project or not?

"Yuki" Yes, I will...

She opened the file, sighed somewhat upset and then copied it to her flash drive. I had no idea why she did this. It didn't bother me much, nor did the fact that she would be expecting me for a conversation today. What conversation could we be talking about? Should I just tell her straight out that I don't care?

"…"

Outside the window, the twilight was slowly thickening, and soon the city was completely immersed in darkness. Glancing at my watch, I realized it was time to go home. I had no more strength left. Mechanically rising from my chair, I casually threw all my things into my bag and quickly headed for the exit. At the exit, I ran into Yuki. She looked at me as if she was about to say something, but I didn’t care. Her words were losing their meaning. I walked past her without stopping for a second and, without looking back, headed toward home.

When I walked into the house, there were someone else's shoes by the front door. My chest immediately tightened. Someone was inside. I walked into the kitchen and saw Yuki. She

sat at the table as if nothing had happened, slowly sipping tea and staring into space.

"Yuki" Oh, you've finally come.

Her voice sounded like an icy wind, piercing to the bone. These words made me shudder.

"Takumi" What did you want to talk about?

"Yuki" About us.

"Takumi" About us?

"Yuki" Exactly.

"Takumi" Then I listen.

"Yuki" Let's get straight to the point. We're parting ways.

These words, like a dagger, pierced something deep inside me. This "something" was very deep, but the blow was so strong that for a while I became a different person. The same as I was before.

"Takumi" Breaking up? Why?

"Yuki" Don't you understand? Don't you guess? Don't you see everything that's happening between us?

"Takumi" No...I didn't notice.

"Yuki" Oh... My dear, then try to remember. I'm just tired of this state of yours, when one day you act like you usually do, but the next day you seem unrecognizable. Rude, cold, callous. Ignoring me as if I were nobody to you. If I knew that you would treat me like this... Tell me, why have you changed so much? What happened? Tell me! Where did that guy go that I fell in love with? Where did that shy, kind, sympathetic guy go, who was happy that we were walking home together. Where did that guy go that I started a relationship with

relationship? Why did some...some...I don't even know how to describe you now come in his place!

Yuki wasn't just upset - she was hysterical. Her face was distorted with tears, and her voice was breaking into a scream, but I didn't hear a word. Her words seemed to pass through me like a transparent wall, leaving no trace.

Something inside me tightened, like a spring in my chest, and it wouldn’t let go. My heart was pounding in time with her sobs, but I couldn’t answer the call. Every tear that rolled down her cheek was like a cut-off from reality. I felt like I was losing something so important, something I couldn’t hold on to. It was like losing myself, like realizing that something precious was slipping away, and I was just watching it disappear into thin air.

I still couldn't find what to say. For some reason I wanted to go up to her, hug her, console her, but...

"Yuki" Don't come near me! Not even a meter! Do you hear me?! DON'T YOU DARE COME NEAR ME! You're the one who ruined my dreams, my goals, and do you know how? Remember that project I took from you today during the day. Yesterday you even stayed overnight to do most of it. But what do I see? When I opened it, I saw absolutely nothing! Do you understand?! Everything I was striving for suddenly disappeared in an instant! Where did you move everything that was in the file, and most importantly why?! Or did you delete the contents? Don't be silent! Answer, quickly!

I was speechless. I couldn't answer her, I felt sick, as if I was about to lose consciousness, but her screams didn't give me the opportunity to leave this world even for a moment.

"Yuki" See? Even now you're just silent and don't hear me! You don't care about me at all! Tell me, what was all this for? You just

wanted to take advantage of me? Take advantage of my kindness, my sincerity?!

"Takumi" Yuki...I...

"Yuki" Shut up! I don't want to hear you! I've had so many good guys offer me relationships, I've had so many opportunities, but I chose you, you know?! I saw in you what I couldn't see in them, there was something special about you. If that's what makes you special, then I regret choosing you. Although, let's face it, I've already regretted my choice more than once. I hope we never meet. Goodbye.

I stood rooted to the spot and just watched as Yuki, in tears, quickly got dressed and left my apartment, leaving me alone with my thoughts...

"…"

Something died inside me. I couldn't come to my senses for a long time, mentally returning to that conversation over and over again. Yuki's words echoed in my head, each time forcing me to relive the moment when everything collapsed. I tried to find answers to the many questions that arose after our separation, but the answers eluded me, leaving only bitterness.

Although, to be honest, I did nothing to find them. All I had the strength to do was sit within four walls, never leaving the house. I just lay there, staring at the ceiling, as if it was the only witness to my pain. Time passed slowly, as if it were stretching through a viscous fog. That was how my first two days without Yuki passed - days filled with silence and a feeling of emptiness that gradually took hold of me deeper and deeper.

On the third day, I started getting calls from work. They wanted an explanation for my absences. They said that unless I had a serious reason to stay home, I should go to work immediately. How could I explain to them that I had recently lost everything? Just like that, one evening. That counts

a serious reason? Hardly. Who needs me anyway? Who cares about my problems and worries? The administration? The boss? Definitely not them.

But I have to do something about work one way or another. If I stop going there, I will be fired with extremely unpleasant consequences. One of them could be a negative reference that will close the doors to any company for me in the future. No work - no money. And if there is no money, then I will lose everything I have. But what do I have anyway? Money, material things... Everything that does not really matter.

Come to think of it, I don't even really have any friends. No one who really cares about me. The thoughts started swirling around me again, like dark clouds, driving me deeper into the abyss. An abyss from which there is no escape. But am I not already in it?

This feeling, which grew stronger with each passing day, like a heavy blanket, enveloping me more and more tightly. It, like a web, held me tightly in its darkness, depriving me of strength, consuming who I once was. The emotional swings that I tried so hard to hide, each time threw me up and down more and more. But each time I fell deeper. Something inside me was screaming, but I could not find the words. It was as if my essence was disappearing, giving way to emptiness and pitch darkness.

I still have to go to work tomorrow...

"…"

When I woke up, I felt nothing but a tremor in my body, caused by an insatiable thought about one thing: "What if I meet her there?" What will I say? I don't even have the strength to look her in the eye, let alone talk about it.

These thoughts did not leave me all the way to the office. I could not accept them, could not come to terms with the fact that at any moment I could run into Yuki - the person with whom I had recently been so close. Everything inside me was seething.

Thoughts were intertwined with anxiety, creating a constant background of tension that only intensified with every step.

I arrived early, hoping to avoid the ridiculous questions from my colleagues. I would have no answers for them. What could I say? How to explain my aloofness, my absences? All words seemed empty, like me. Better to simply disappear among them, to become a shadow in this gray world where no one would ask unnecessary questions.

When I walked into the office, something immediately seemed wrong. There was a strange silence and a feeling of emptiness, as if something was missing. I sat down at my desk, but my thoughts were still spinning around how to avoid meeting Yuki. I didn't want to, I just wasn't ready.

But when I automatically checked my work emails and tasks, it became clear that she was no longer there. Her name had disappeared from the project correspondence, and she was no longer listed on any list. Colleagues whispered, discussing that Yuki had quit without telling anyone. She left... to avoid meeting me.

These thoughts pierced me like a blade. Yuki had chosen to leave, never to run into me again. My heart sank. I tried to picture her: packing her things, walking down the hallway for the last time. She had chosen to disappear from my life as suddenly as our relationship had disappeared.

I sat there, looking at her empty workspace, feeling something inside me tighten even more. She didn't want to see me anymore. And that seemed like the right thing to do. After all, I could barely stand myself.

"Takumi" Yuki is no more...

A guy passing by stopped and looked at me. Apparently I said it out loud,

and not very quietly either.

"Boy" Takumi? Didn't expect to see you here today, thought you were sick. Where have you been?

"Takumi" was sitting at home.

I felt myself starting to boil. How his mere presence, his voice, his breathing were starting to irritate me…

"Boy" Did something happen?

"Takumi" No. Everything is fine.

"Boy" You can tell something's happened. Come on, tell your friend what's the reason? Maybe it's because of Yuki's recent dismissal?

"To his friend"? Is he serious right now? With these phrases he only adds the desire to hit him on his nasty head right now, to shut that filthy mouth once and for all. Wait, what did he add at the end?

"Takumi" What did you say?

"Boyfriend" I just thought, you were together, and then she quit and you disappeared for a couple of days, so I thought...

My heart rate increased and I started to boil. The guy must have noticed my reaction and decided to quickly smooth things over.

"Guy" But this is purely my assumption. Of course, you could have been absent for another, no less important reason.

The anger suddenly disappeared, my pulse stabilized, I slowly sat down in my seat. "An equally important reason"? I had no one more important than her, I would be for her... What am I for her? I couldn't even change for her sake, so that she would feel better with me, but no, on the contrary, I only worsened the situation, after which she left...

"Takumi" Ah, that's what you mean. No, I had things to do.

"Guy" Yeah, I get it, okay. Well then I'm off.

If people keep coming up to me all day today and asking questions, I won’t be able to stand it.

"…"

Sitting down at my desk, I turned on my computer and tried to focus on the assignments. But the screens and tables in front of my eyes seemed like meaningless numbers. Everything was empty, just like me. I tried to block out thoughts of Yuki, of our last meeting, but they kept coming back like an obsessive echo. Work no longer brought me any comfort or peace. But something caught my attention. It was the folder called “Project,” which we were supposed to work on together, and in some way, it was also the reason for our separation. Opening it, I saw all the information I had been looking for all night.

"Takumi" She copied the wrong folder...

I only said sadly, just staring at the monitor and realizing that if she had opened another folder, none of this could have happened. I could have blamed it all on my fatigue that night, and used all the files that were in the folder as evidence. But she was not talking about that night, but about the entire time of our relationship. So it would have sounded like a stupid excuse, and an attempt to somehow soften the conversation, for what? For Yuki to forgive me and tolerate all my antics again? No. I didn’t want that kind of life for her.

It was difficult for me to stay in this rotten place for long, so I silently got up from my seat, collected my things and headed for the exit.

I got home earlier than usual and stared at my computer for a long time. The words "letter of resignation" flashed before my eyes, but it seemed like a formality. I wrote it quickly, feeling nothing but devastation. The next day, I took the letter to my boss, despite

into his eyes. It was my last farewell to a world that no longer belonged to me.

I couldn't stand it anymore. Everything around me reminded me of her. Every corridor, every room, every person - everything reminded me of Yuki. My colleagues talked about her departure incessantly, whispering to each other how she silently gathered up her documents and left without saying a word. They spoke as if they knew something more, but no one understood what was going on in my head.

That damn project... That was the last straw. I couldn't look at it anymore, couldn't even think about how it had ever mattered to us. The project that was supposed to be our common goal destroyed everything that was between us.

But... maybe it's for the best? It's definitely better for her. No one will throw her off balance or irritate her with their behavior. She's free. I won't be her problem anymore. Yes, it was a relief for her. She probably felt a huge weight lifted from her shoulders as soon as she closed the office door behind her.

And me? I don't know what I feel. But I think losing me was much easier for her than losing herself.

"…"

It had been several days since I had left work. They had dragged on endlessly, each hour twice as long as usual, each one feeling empty, devoid of meaning. I had become a recluse in my own home, leaving only when absolutely necessary, avoiding all contact with people. The phone had long since stopped making sounds, and I had stopped paying attention to the calls. White noise reigned in my head, as if my thoughts had evaporated, burned to ash.

My mind was like a burnt match. Once upon a time, when I was full of energy and light, I could be compared to the one I just

a lit match. It burns brightly, its light is visible to everyone around. So I was

* energetic, charged with positive energy, loved by everyone. I liked to give this warmth to others, I was the center of attention.

But with each passing day the light faded. The match gradually burned out, its flame becoming weaker and weaker. And now I, like that match, have almost burned out. The light has long since disappeared, only a charred stick remains - ashes that can be scattered in the wind. I was once a bright light, but now I am gone.

The fatigue was becoming more and more noticeable. There were moments when I couldn’t do even the simplest thing – get out of bed. It seemed as if gravity itself had increased, pulling me down to the mattress, not allowing me to rise. Sometimes the physical weakness was so strong that I slept all day, and then all night, without feeling any relief. Time seemed to cease to exist – day followed night, but for me it no longer mattered. When I woke up, I didn’t feel rested – only empty.

In order to somehow break this vicious circle, in order not to die within these four walls, I began to go outside occasionally. The trips were rare and short, but this was my only way to at least unwind a little. The steps on the sidewalk seemed alien to me, the world around me seemed to have lost its colors, and people passed by like shadows. Even the fresh air did not bring relief - it only reminded me that I lived in this fog that did not dissipate.

I just wandered the streets, aimlessly walking from one block to another. At first, I even went into cafes, sat there and watched people. They seemed so cheerful, loud, full of life. Their laughter echoed throughout the room, their movements were light, as if nothing could disturb them. I looked at them and felt how everything inside was boiling. This carefree happiness irritated me. A couple of times I even lost my temper - I could not contain my anger.

The feelings had taken over me completely, and I was no longer in control of them. They were in control of me. And it had been like that for a long time... too long.

Every day my walks became shorter and the people around me seemed quieter. Their voices seemed to disappear, merging with the background noise. There were always children playing under my house, their loud cries used to irritate me. But now... I could barely hear them. Walking down the street, I saw people talking, but their words did not reach me. I felt like I was disappearing from this world. Or maybe the world was starting to avoid me.

People passing by no longer noticed me. They would bump into me with their shoulders without stopping, as if I were just a ghost among them. Even when I entered a café, it was as if I wasn’t there. No one paid attention to me, no one noticed that I existed.

Panic began to rise inside me. I was disappearing. Or no... the world was starting to get rid of me. It didn't need the ashes left from a once burning fire. The ashes needed to be wiped away, scattered to the wind, so that not a trace remained.

"…"

I had become a complete recluse. I no longer felt anything - neither time, nor space, nor myself. I had long since stopped going outside. My entire life was reduced to a few square meters of my apartment. Food and everything I needed were brought to me by couriers, who simply left packages at the door and left without waiting for an answer. I didn't even see their faces, as if they were ghosts, just like me.

My savings were dwindling, but I couldn't bring myself to think about the future. Work? No. Go back to my old job? Even less of a desire. And look for something new... why? I knew I would simply go unnoticed, as if I had disappeared from this world. Even if I showed up somewhere,

No one will hear me, and I won't hear them. The noise in my head was getting louder, drowning out any attempt to think intelligently.

Sleep became my enemy. At night I lay with my eyes open, staring at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. Insomnia was driving me crazy. I stopped eating normally, all food seemed tasteless, unnecessary. In a few weeks I lost ten kilograms, and the mirror no longer reflected the person I used to know. I hadn’t shaved for a long time, since the moment I signed my resignation letter. My face became haggard, with empty eyes and a shadow of fatigue.

I was becoming homeless, living in my own apartment. Every wall was pressing in on me, every room felt like a prison. And all that was left was a loud noise in my head that never stopped for a second.

"Takumi" What have I come to...

Did I really get to this point? Is it my fault? If she had simply copied the right file at that crucial moment… Everything would have been different. Nothing would have happened. We wouldn’t have broken up, we wouldn’t have drowned in those endless arguments. Our relationship would have improved, and maybe we would have moved in together by now. I would have woken up next to her every morning, we would have cooked breakfast together, made plans for the future. But now… Wait, who is “she”?

I don't remember her. I don't remember her name, or how I felt about her all that time. I only have fragments of memories - how I grieved for someone, how I suffered. But who is this person? Who is she? The one because of whom I quit my job, because of whom my life turned into this miserable existence? I can't remember her face, but I know for sure - she was the cause of all this chaos.

If she hadn't appeared in my life, everything would have been different. I would still be working at my old place, communicating with colleagues, building a career. And, in the end,

I would have found myself a wife with whom I could have lived the rest of my days in peace and quiet. But she... she destroyed everything. She...

Who is she? Why does her image slip away? Why can't I remember her voice, her touch? All that's left is a feeling of emptiness, a sense of loss. She was a part of my life, but now I can't even say who she was to me. It's strange that memories that seemed so vivid are now just blurry shadows in my head.

"…"

I couldn't take it anymore. The white noise in my head was getting louder, with every minute, with every hour. It felt like I was going crazy. After endless weeks, I decided to go outside again. It was like a leap into the unknown.

As soon as I opened the front door, the sun hit me like a powerful flash, blinding my eyes. I felt pain - they had long since become accustomed to the darkness, to the semi-darkness in which I had lived all this time. I tried to cover myself with my hand, but the bright light broke through my fingers, like a reminder of the world from which I had hidden for so long.

When I finally stepped over the threshold, my feet moved towards the park on their own. They seemed to have a life of their own, as if they were searching for something I had long lost. I couldn’t stop them, they wouldn’t listen to me. My body had betrayed me, and I was forced to obey – to move forward, even if I didn’t know why. The park called to me like an old friend I hadn’t seen in a long time, and I obediently followed the road, not realizing that I was waiting there.

"…"

Arriving at the park, I stopped in bewilderment. Why did my feet bring me here? I looked around. People were walking along the paths, children were running, laughing, but it was as if all this was through glass. I saw them, but I didn’t hear them. Their voices, their laughter – everything

it seemed muted, as if the world had decided that I should no longer be a part of it.

Trying to figure out what brought me here, I suddenly noticed a place that once had significance. My gaze automatically stopped on that very bench. Something inside me trembled, but I could not remember why it was important. My legs moved forward again, leading me to the bench, and I sat down on it, still completely confused. Why am I here? Why this place?

I looked at the nature around me, the green of the trees, the gentle breeze that gently swayed the leaves. But it didn’t calm me down. Instead, I was lost in my thoughts. My memories… they seemed to have disappeared, partially erased or intertwined. Something important that I should remember was slipping away from me. The past was blurry, and I couldn’t piece it together. What happened then? Why can’t I remember?

My thoughts were interrupted by a female voice. Quiet but distinct, it broke through the white noise in my head.

The voice pierced my consciousness like a beam of light piercing a thick fog. It was so unexpected and vivid that I felt something inside me shake. As if something had broken in the endless white noise that was buzzing in my head. I didn’t remember the voice, but at the same time, somewhere deep inside I knew that I had heard it before. It awakened something long forgotten, something that seemed to have been lost forever in the depths of my memory.

The voice was like a gentle touch, like a breath of fresh air in the middle of a stuffy, heavy day. It helped me come to my senses a little, bring clarity back to this foggy world. I sat in a slight stupor, not knowing how to react. The words were stuck in my throat, I was paralyzed not only by my thoughts, but also by the memories that were slowly rising to the surface. Warm memories… but what kind?

The memories came back to me in fragments, like old film slowly seeping into my consciousness. I sat on that bench like a long-forgotten shadow of myself, hearing that same voice, but I couldn't understand why this place had once been so important. Everything seemed blurry, like scenes from a distant dream, falling apart as I tried desperately to hold them in my mind, but they slipped away, leaving me completely bewildered.

"Girl" Hey, boy, don't stand there so sad when the world is so beautiful. Just look around and smile!

"Takumi" It's probably easy for you to say things like that.

"Girl" Do you really think so? It seems like you haven't changed at all during this time.

"Takumi" Still haven't changed? Have we met before?

"Girl" Yes, and more than once. I was something like a "savior" for you. "Takumi" And how did you save me?

"Girl" When you were feeling bad and you came here, I was always there. I listened to you, even if you didn't notice.

"Takumi" I don't remember anything about this... Neither you, nor these conversations. Why?

"Girl" Because back then you were too busy with your pain, with your thoughts. But you always came back here - because somewhere deep inside you knew I was here. You were looking for something more, even if you didn't realize it.

With a smile on her face, she said the last words and headed into the distance, disappearing behind the trees.

After she left, I sat on the bench, trying to process her last words. "You were looking for something more, without even realizing it." The words echoed in my head, haunting me. What did she mean? What exactly had I been looking for all this time? Was I really trying to find

something more than just an escape from this darkness? A feeling of something long forgotten flashed through my mind, as if I had sat here before and heard this voice. Memories, like scraps of old film, began to surface in my consciousness, but they were unclear, blurry. I felt that this was not the first time I sat on this bench and spoke to her… But when was that?

As I tried to grasp these fragments of the past, it suddenly hit me - I heard her. I actually heard her voice. After such a long period of absolute silence, when the world seemed to refuse to notice me, I heard someone. It was impossible. My heart began to beat faster, as if for a second I had emerged from the deep ocean, gulped in air, and seen a ray of light. How... how could this have happened?

I slowly rose from the bench, as if afraid to ruin this moment. There was fear inside me - what if this was just an illusion, another joke of my exhausted consciousness? But I could no longer stay in place. The feeling that I heard someone again broke through the thick shell of despair in which I had lived for the past months. Slowly, as if I was just learning to walk, I took a few steps towards the people who were passing by. They seemed so distant and untouchable to me. As if I were a ghost living in the shadows.

I opened my mouth to say something, but instead of words, only a croak came out. I reached out to one of the passersby, but did not dare touch them. What if I did not hear anyone again? What if this moment of hope was just a flash? I felt fear growing inside me, paralyzing me, not allowing me to move on. Everyone around me continued to walk, not noticing me, and suddenly I realized that I was still in the same silence. This match, this tiny flame of hope that had just flared up, was almost burnt out.

I stopped, feeling the weight of the past settle on my shoulders again. But there was something different in the darkness now. A tiny spark of… hope appeared inside me. This voice, this girl. I didn’t know who she was or why she was here now, but somewhere deep inside I was hoping for another meeting. For something more. Although I didn’t fully realize it yet, I was waiting for that match to flare up again. And maybe next time it wouldn’t go out so quickly.

"…"

The sun was already setting when I left the park. My soul felt so strange, as if I had just woken up from a long, drawn-out dream. Everything was intertwined inside me: hope and fear, joy and sadness. I never thought I would hear someone's voice again, especially after existing in silence for so long.

I walked slowly home, and each step felt like a struggle between the past and the present. The people I passed seemed so distant and unreachable, as if I was still in the same dark void from which I had just escaped. But now there was a spark within me, something I had not felt in many years.

When I finally entered my apartment, I had a hard time realizing that the world around me still existed. I felt fatigue wash over me like waves washing over the shore. All the emotions that had accumulated during the day crashed down on me at once. I couldn’t cope with it, and without undressing, I simply fell onto the bed.

At first I tried to focus on the silence, but thoughts of the voice, of the girl, would not leave me. I closed my eyes tiredly, feeling my mind begin to swim. Mixed feelings still swirled in my head, and soon I fell asleep, seeking peace from the emotions swirling inside.

"…"

I found myself back in the endless darkness, so deep it seemed it would never go away. I didn't know where to go or how to get out of this emptiness. Suddenly, far ahead, a faint light appeared. It flickered like a match about to go out. I took a step forward, then another, until I realized it was her.

She stood in a soft light that surrounded her, like the morning sun breaking through a thick fog. Her face was blurry, but I could see her eyes. There was something comforting about them, something familiar.

"Girl" You're here again.

She spoke in a calm tone, and her voice sounded so warm and clear, as if I had been waiting for this sound all my life.

I tried to speak, but I couldn't. My soul seemed to be constricted by emotion, and the words were stuck in my throat. She took a step closer, and with each movement the darkness retreated.

"Girl" You're still searching for yourself, but this place won't give you answers.

I didn't understand what she meant, but her words began to stir something deeply forgotten in me. Moments from the past surfaced in my head - I saw myself sitting on that very bench in the park. I remembered her voice. It was not the first time.

"Girl" You can find your way, but only if you stop running from yourself.

The light around her grew brighter and brighter, and the darkness continued to retreat. I felt warmth inside, as if I had been waiting for this moment all this time. I wanted to come closer, take a step, but suddenly I realized that her figure was beginning to blur.

"Takumi" Wait!

I screamed, but my words vanished into thin air. She was gone, and I was alone again, surrounded by darkness. But something had changed. There was a tiny spark inside me, a reminder of her words. I didn't know who she was, but deep down I began to hope that I would see her again.

"…"

I slowly opened my eyes, and the first thing I felt was lightness, as if I had finally been freed from a heavy burden. But this feeling quickly gave way to confusion. Where was I? Back in my apartment, on my bed, surrounded by silence.

The girl's voice still rang in my head, her words filled with warmth: "You were looking for something more, without even realizing it." I raised my head and looked around, trying to comprehend what had happened. The dream was so real that I still felt her presence, as if she were right next to me.

Memories of the park began to surface in my mind. I remembered her standing in front of me, bathed in light, her smile filling my heart with warmth. I felt hope rising inside me again. But where is she now? Why don’t I know her name?

Surprise stirred in my soul, but with it came disappointment: this bright moment turned out to be just a dream that could not become reality. I sat on the edge of the bed, listening to the silence that enveloped me again. The girl's voice continued to sound in my mind like an echo, awakening in me long-forgotten feelings and desires.

Inside me, I wanted to go back to the park, where it all began. I needed to understand what her words meant to me, and why they had sunk so deeply into my soul. But at the same time, fear and doubt gripped my body. I hadn’t been outside in a long time, and this transition felt daunting.

Little by little, I got out of bed, feeling the weight of my thoughts ease a little. I began to get ready slowly, each step was given

with difficulty, as if I was walking through deep snow. But confidence grew inside

— I need to do this. I got out of the apartment, and, as if by inspiration, my feet themselves reached out to the familiar path.

At first I moved slowly, letting the sensations remind me what it was like

— to be part of the world. Every street I passed, every sound and smell awakened a life in me that I had long forgotten. And with every step I felt myself being filled with anticipation.

As I approached the park, my heart began to beat faster. I was preparing myself for the fact that perhaps here I would hear again that familiar voice that had remained elusive for so long. Hope, like a gentle ray of light, began to break through the darkness, and I finally felt that this day could be the beginning of something new.

With some hope, I began to look for that very bench, expecting to see her there - the girl who was present not only in my life, but also penetrated my dreams, deep into my subconscious. Constantly looking around, I carefully sat down in my place and simply waited, looking at the leaves on the trees, trying to find peace in this.

I was surprised that when I left the house, the sky was covered with thick gray clouds, similar to clumps of cat fur. It seemed that the world had again plunged into the same darkness that had long since enveloped my consciousness. But as soon as I reached the park and sat down on this familiar spot, thin rays of light began to break through the clouds. They slowly but surely tore apart the gray veil, illuminating this world with their bright and gentle light, as if trying to awaken hope in me, albeit tiny...

"…"

I sat on this bench, surrounded by the whisper of leaves and the soft light that gradually penetrated the thick clouds. Each ray of light that touched the ground seemed to slowly straighten the weight of my consciousness, but I did not

I could shake off the feeling that this was just an illusion - a temporary relief before the new darkness. The sun came out more often, but instead of feeling joy, I only sank deeper into my thoughts.

Where is she now? Why can't I find her? Maybe she was just a figment of my fevered mind, trying to find salvation in this endless void?

I looked back again, but the park was empty. Only the rustling wind and the faint footsteps of random passersby reminded me that the world was still going on. A feeling of unease came over me - what if I never heard her again? What if this light, like her, disappeared forever?

I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself. Her silhouette approached me again, just like in that dream. Her face remained blurred and unclear, as if hidden by a thick fog that did not allow me to see a single detail. Every time I tried to catch at least something, it dissolved in the fog, leaving only her voice. It was the only thing that remained clear - it echoed deep in the depths of my consciousness: "You are looking for something more."

That was what kept me coming back here. I was looking for answers, even if I couldn’t say exactly what they were. Maybe I was looking for her, or perhaps for an answer to my inner questions. But as long as this uncertainty remained in my life, I couldn’t move on. I waited.

A few minutes passed, but it seemed like an eternity. And then I felt a slight push - as if someone had quietly touched my shoulder. I opened my eyes abruptly, looked around, but there was no one nearby. Silence filled the park again. My heart began to beat faster, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was about to happen.

At that moment, I heard light footsteps behind me. Slow, as if someone was approaching, unhurriedly, but with a purpose. My anxiety was replaced by something else - a strange anticipation. Maybe it was her again?

Turning around, I saw no one, only felt my cheeks caressed by a gentle and warm breeze. It picked up fallen leaves and carried them away. I turned my head back, my eyes looked down, as someone's shoes appeared in front of them. Raising my head, my eyes seemed to evaluate the silhouette that appeared before me.

"Girl" Hello again! Are you waiting for me?

"Takumi" Hello... No, why should I wait for you?

"Girl" I don't know, it seemed that way. You're sitting on pins and needles, all nervous and twitchy. You're constantly looking around, as if you're looking for someone. And before, before our last meeting, you didn't really show up here. You were here only once - when you were looking for answers to your questions, your experiences. Maybe something is bothering you now?

I turned to answer her, but noticed how well the rays of light reflected from her eyes, how they subtly emphasized their structure, their beauty. They gently passed through her curls, making them sparkle. Suddenly the wind blew, and she, squinting, held her hat so that it would not fly away after those leaves that were under my feet. Then I realized that for the first time, in a long time, I finally saw her face. Her beautiful, gentle, bright and feminine face. Before that, I did not pay attention to her, because I needed answers to my questions that arose because ... Because of what? For what reason did I have any worries? Why was I anxious and why did I decide to find answers here, in the park. No, I was not looking for answers there. I was looking for answers in her, I needed someone like her to help me cope with my problems and experiences that arose against the background of problems with... With what? Who or what am I talking about? Who or what was the reason why I often ended up here looking for a solution to my problems. Was I able to solve them at all?

"Girl" Hey, are you there? Can you hear me?

"Takumi" Yeah, sorry... I got too carried away...

"Girl" Let's get back to my question. Why are you here?

"Takumi" To be honest, I don't know myself. My legs brought me here, just like last time. It was as if I lost the ability to control them for a moment, and they went where they wanted. It was very strange, because I hadn't left the house for months, and it would have been good to go to the store and throw out the trash, but apparently they had other plans. I remember being here before, I remember sitting in this place and just thinking. But I still can't remember the reason, the reason why I often ended up here, as if I was looking for something, or someone... As for your question - you're right, I'm here for a reason. That phrase you said before you left is stuck in my head.

"Girl" "Are you looking for something more" - this one?

"Takumi" This phrase puzzled me greatly. After all, for the last few months I was not looking for anything, only sinking deeper into the void. But your words made me realize that I had lost something - something very important and valuable to me. Only I could not remember what it was.

"Girl" So I wasn't mistaken...

"Takumi" If I had to choose a phrase, definitely. She brought me back to life like a breath of fresh air, like I came home after a hard day at work and immediately went to bed. She was like... no, she is a kind of enlivening element for me. Thanks to her, I was able to at least a little, but look for ways out of my situation, for the first time in so many months I began to think about someone else, besides myself. Thank you...

"Girl" I didn't expect that such a simple phrase could influence you so much, because before you were almost impossible to get through. But I'm glad that you are like this now. It's time for me to go, I'll see you soon, the main thing is to believe in it.

"Takumi" Wait! I still don't know your name.

"Girl" Oh yeah, right. Sorry for being rude. I'm Hikari.

"Takumi" Beautiful name... And I am Takumi...

"Hikari" I know, I know...

She said the last words, gradually moving further and further away, until her voice became barely audible, as if dissolving into the air. I remained sitting, lingering in the same place for a while, peering into the emptiness in front of me. Finally, having collected my thoughts, I also got up and headed home. The whole way I thought about her words, which echoed in my head. I decided for myself: I will get to know her better, I will find out who she is and why she helps me. All that remains is to wait for the next meeting...

"…"

Our meetings became more frequent, filled with long conversations that made me forget about time. Next to her, I seemed to be immersed in another world, so warm and familiar, as if I had already been there a long time ago. This feeling of comfort and peace awakened something deep in me, something that I had long been missing... Next to this fair-haired girl, I felt truly at home, as if all my worries and pain dissolved in her presence.

After one of these meetings, a surprise awaited me...

"Hikari" Well then...I have to go again. See you soon! Take care of yourself!

"Takumi" Thank you very much for meeting!

After the meeting, as Hikari disappeared around the corner of the park, I stood there for a moment, expecting to feel her presence for just a little bit longer. But instead of the warm feeling that usually lingered after she left, I suddenly felt a slight sense of unease. It was a vague feeling, as if something inside was telling me that I should pay attention to the details around me.

Looking around, I noticed a small object lying on the bench, barely noticeable among the autumn leaves. Coming closer, I realized that it was a note, folded into a tight rectangle. Something inside me froze, as if this find was a sign that was left for me specifically.

I unfolded it and saw several lines written in neat handwriting:

"Sometimes the past holds answers we're so afraid to hear. Are you ready to face it?"

The words were brief, but each letter seemed to burn into my mind. My hands were shaking, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that the note was meant specifically for me, as if someone had seen my inner struggle and left this message. I clutched the note tighter, trying to figure out who could have written it. It was handwritten, but I couldn’t figure out who the handwriting belonged to. Was this a message from Hikari? Or was it something more, as if a part of my past was coming back to bring to the surface something I had tried to forget?

I slowly walked home, and her words continued to sound in my head like some kind of prophecy.

As I was about to put the note in my pocket, something glittered on the bench, catching my attention. It was a small pendant, a graceful round one with a smooth, slightly darkened surface, as if it had seen many years. I picked it up, and my fingers touched the metal, which was unexpectedly warm, as if someone had held it before me.

Vague images came to mind—the pendant seemed familiar, but I couldn’t remember where. Something inside me fluttered, as if this thing was part of some history, forgotten and hidden somewhere in the recesses of my mind.

I ran my finger over the pendant and felt the engraved symbols, not immediately noticeable, but upon closer inspection I could see them. They were almost erased, but something inside me told me that this could be the key to deciphering the words on the note. My heart began to pound harder, and suddenly a thought occurred to me - this pendant seemed to be calling me back to where I could find more answers.

With the pendant in my hands and the note in my pocket, I slowly walked home, feeling that this was more than just a chance find. A strange feeling grew in my chest - as if this was just the beginning of something significant, but still unclear.

On my way home, I was walking down a narrow street, lost in my thoughts. Suddenly, I accidentally bumped into a girl with my shoulder, and we both froze for a moment. I looked at her and immediately apologized. She nodded softly, smiling back, and walked on. I stood there, amazed: someone else had noticed me. Before, when I first met Hikari, I felt like only she saw me, as if I was hidden from everyone else.

But this girl… We just exchanged a glance, and suddenly I felt strange

— as if I already knew her. I walked a few steps forward, but something inside me was bothering me. I turned around to look at her again, but she had already disappeared around the corner.

Something warm and familiar stirred in my chest. It wasn't just a feeling, but a memory I couldn't quite place. As if we'd once been close, and there'd been something bright between us. But who was she? And why did her image remain so hazy in my mind?

I remained standing there, staring into the emptiness of the street, as if I hoped

that she would return.

"…"

Later that night, lying in bed, I tried to make sense of what had happened. The events of the day had swirled in my head, turning into a chaos of images and words that didn't add up to a coherent picture.

I took the pendant out of my pocket and ran my finger over its smooth surface once more, as if that would tell me more. Who left it? Hikari? Maybe she was trying to tell me something, but… why? And the note

— Her words echoed in my head again: “Are you ready to face your past?” The memories weighed on me, but there were no specifics. The answers eluded me, and I felt stuck.

I closed my eyes, trying to concentrate, but then I saw that random glance I had met on the street. That girl… Why did I feel like I knew her? Her face was standing in front of me, but it was hidden by a fog, as if my memory itself was hiding it from me. I tried to reproduce the details: eyes, lips, something that would remind me, but the more I tried, the more everything dissolved into the haze. As if I was trying to hold water in my hands.

Tension grew inside me. Why did her image stick so strongly? It couldn’t be just a coincidence. Every time I remembered her, a feeling of warmth and pain would awaken inside me, a strange mixture that made no sense. With each surge of this feeling, her face became less and less distinguishable, as if someone was deliberately erasing it from my memory.

I rolled over and closed my eyes, feeling a heavy weight pressing down on my chest. Between Hikari, the pendant, the note, and that random glance, my mind was completely confused. But I knew one thing—this day had changed something, even if I didn’t yet understand what.

"…"

Unexpectedly, I realized that after all those months of loneliness and alienation, my life had begun to take a different turn. Little by little, as if in parts, I began to feel alive again. At first it was uncertain, like the first awakening after a long sleep, but with each new day new shades appeared in my world. The work that I had once returned to without any desire now began to take up a place in my day, and the walks that had previously been a forced habit seemed to acquire meaning.

But the brightest light in this new life was Hikari. She came not like a storm, but rather like the morning light – softly, unobtrusively, but inevitably. With her, my life gained something I hadn’t felt for a long time: a simple calm. Her presence was quiet and unobtrusive, but every moment with her became meaningful.

And so, every night, when I came home, I felt that someone was waiting for me there. This thought was a surprising, almost frightening sensation, because I had been on my own for so long. But every time I opened the door and saw her smile, I realized that maybe life had something else for me.

One of those evenings may have changed my life beyond recognition again.

"Takumi" Remember when we first started dating in the park? You said something to me that I didn't quite understand at the time: "You were looking for something more." Why did you decide to say that?

"Hikari" It seemed to me that you are always looking somewhere further, beyond the boundaries of what you have now. As if everything around you is temporary, and you are waiting for something without realizing it.

"Takumi" But what? What is this even about? I never looked for this... I just wanted peace, stability.

"Hikari" This is how you are now, before, when I first saw you in the park, you were completely different.

"Takumi" "Before" when? I don't remember us meeting before that.

"Hikari" We did, you just don't remember. It's for the best, you were broken and depressed back then, so I'm glad you were able to forget it.

"Takumi" Maybe this is what I was supposed to find? The reason for my suffering, my pain during that period?

"Hikari" Maybe you don't know what you're looking for yet. Or maybe you know, but you don't want to admit it to yourself.

"Takumi" You know, maybe you're right. I thought that with you everything would start to make sense, but for some reason this feeling never went away...

"Hikari" Maybe it's because you haven't yet fully decided what you want?

"Takumi" Maybe... I just haven't fully figured myself out yet: my desires, ideals, goals...

"Hikari" You know, you told me so little about yourself. Why?

"Takumi" I don't know... But I notice that I talk about myself more when I'm really tired, or when I'm alone with myself. Then I seem to break through to some pretty deep topics, which help me understand myself.

"Hikari" If only you were tired more often... I would get to know you better.

I smiled back, but her words seemed to leave a strange feeling in me, as if they had touched something long forgotten and deeply hidden. It was as if I had experienced déjà vu: someone had said this phrase to me before. It was a long time ago,

a long time ago... But it was definitely told to me! But who? I need to change the subject before I completely disappear into the ocean of my thoughts and reflections.

"Takumi" Do you think it's a good idea to get to know the real me?

"Hikari" Maybe not. But I'd still like to know what you were like before...before all this.

"Takumi" I think you're idealizing me. I'm not as interesting as I may seem to you.

"Hikari" You talk as if you've already decided everything for me. But, you know, you always avoid answering the question yourself as soon as the conversation turns to you.

"Takumi" It's just... I'm afraid I'll disappoint you.

"Hikari" Will you disappoint me? Yes, perhaps. But everyone has their flaws, and I want to see more than just your best side. The real you is more interesting to me than the image you so carefully guard.

I have nothing to say, I'm a little confused. Her words seem to open something painful in me, awakening feelings that I've been hiding for a long time... Or maybe I didn't hide them, but simply forgot about them? Forgotten, like a bad dream from which you wake up in a cold sweat. Really... such dreams, on the contrary, seem to stick into your memory, sitting there for a long time. Maybe it's the same with this situation? What if my subconscious just doesn't want me to remember it? Maybe it wants to protect me from what made me enter a state from which I spent months coming out? So many questions because of just one phrase...

"Hikari" Don't you get tired of hiding all this, Taka?

"Takumi" Sorry, my head hurts a lot... I think I'll go lie down...

"Hikari" Okay, go and rest. You were probably swamped with work today, and then there were me with my questions. Sorry.

"Takumi" No, no, you have nothing to do with it. We will definitely return to the topic of our conversation, I promise you that.

Entering the room, I fell onto the bed. My head really did hurt, but it hurt from the flow of thoughts that overtook my mind like waves, ever arriving at the shore. I couldn’t understand one thing, why this phrase had such a strong influence on me, as if it had become a lever that opened a secret room with treasures, but in order to get into this room, you also needed a key to the door, which was somewhere deep in this park. The same with my subconscious. It’s as if I’m missing some small piece to assemble this puzzle. What could it be…

I went to my desk and opened the drawer that was in it. In it I saw the pendant that Hikari had given me, which was lying in a separate, neat place. As I closed it, something sparkling caught my eye. Opening it again, I saw something roll behind the wall, where there was a small crack. Having exhausted myself greatly in order to get this object, I picked it up and, having wiped off the dust, froze in some kind of surprise... it was a small ring that I could only put on one finger - the ring finger. There was some kind of inscription engraved on it. I can't read what is written there, many letters have already been erased. Apparently, it is many years old... I was about to put it away in a drawer, but a single word caught my eye, which was completely preserved, without flaws. Looking closer, I realized that it was someone's name.

"Takumi" Yuki. Yuki. Who is she? Is this her ring?

I started to puzzle over it. How could a woman's ring be in my apartment, in my room and also in my desk? If Hikari saw it, she would obviously have questions. I started to examine the object more carefully.

"…"

About an hour passed, and I managed to make out the surviving letters, and this is the inscription I got: "L..b..mo..u p..r..yu from eg.. Yuki." After reading it, I realized - here is the key. The key that I lacked to open the room with treasures. The treasure was my memories, which had been sealed for a long time, and now that I unsealed them, I understood the reason for my anxiety after Hikari's words at the table, I understood a lot. I again plunged into that world, into that life...

A silhouette appeared in front of me. A dark, misty and cold silhouette, but at the same time I felt incredible warmth from it, as if I knew this person. As I approached it a little, a shiver ran through my body. This silhouette was almost identical to the girl I once ran into on the street, who was so firmly lodged in my memory, not giving me a single day without thinking about her: “Who is she? Why do I feel like I know her?” The puzzle begins to come together, as if the universe itself is helping me... no, it is not the universe. It is my subconscious trying to help me, the subconscious that I have hidden for so long, ignored for so long is trying to show itself again, and in such a guise too...

All this time that I have been with Hikari, I have been tormented and tormented by questions, a great many questions to which, unfortunately, I have no answers. All my attempts to find out about my past life, the one that she saw, were in vain. She always made excuses and found any excuse not to tell me about that period. Could it be that such bad things happened there that she does not want to subject me to the same blow?

Trying to answer my questions, I closed myself off more and more, trying to remember something from that period, but it was all in vain... before that silhouette came to me, before I ran into that girl. I don't remember who she was, but I remember those emotions, those feelings, those sensations that I experienced during that period. I opened the door to the abyss. To the abyss that

Hikari hid it so carefully, trying to protect me. Forgive me if you can, Hikari...

The silhouette suddenly started moving in an unknown direction, and, unable to think of anything better, I started following it. It led me to a small opening that resembled a window, which was covered with some curtains. Coming closer, I saw myself sitting in the same park and someone approaching me from behind. I can’t make out who it is, but the silhouette is very familiar. At this point, I wake up.

"…"

Memories flooded back, as if someone had opened a previously locked floodgate. Images of Yuki surfaced, each one too clear and distinct, as if it had happened yesterday: our first meeting, laughing at silly little things, evening walks when it seemed that nothing could destroy the world we had created together.

But with those memories came pain. I remembered the way she looked at me the last time, when our paths began to diverge, when her eyes no longer shone so brightly, and her voice became quiet and broken. We both tried to find a way out, but in the end, her leaving was the only solution I could not prevent. The realization of loss washed over me with new force, and I felt as if it was all happening right now, choking me.

I sat on the bed, clutching the ring and pendant, feeling their weight literally pressing into my palms. This was more than just a choice between the past and the present. It was a decision to leave behind a part of myself that had once been vibrant but had long since faded, or to dive into the unknown, leaving behind what had once made me alive.

As I closed my fingers around the pendant, I thought of Hikari. She had become a symbol of new life for me, and every day with her felt like a step forward, even though sometimes it was

the feeling seemed false to me. And Yuki's ring... It was a symbol of the past that I couldn't let go of. It pulled me back, like an anchor, to myself, to who I was when I still believed in something real.

I knew I had to make a choice. Either let go of this difficult past, giving myself a chance for something new, or continue to carry it with me, risking losing myself completely.

"…"

My head was spinning, I couldn't calm my thoughts for a second. All these moments with Yuki became a solid burden that suddenly fell on me, making it painful to breathe.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door of the room.

"Hikari" Takumi? Everything okay?

"Takumi" Y-Yes. Everything is g-good...

My voice was shaking. A little bit and I'll get completely confused...and then what? Why am I afraid of getting confused? And why can I get confused?

"Hikari" I'm coming in.

"Takumi" N-no, don't...

She walked in and her face immediately changed. A whole range of emotions mixed on it. She didn't know what to do, what she needed to do.

"Hikari" Takumi...what's wrong with you?..

"Takumi" Hikari...I'm confused, I can't choose. I'm scared...I..I...

By the end I was already stuttering because I was choking on my own tears. I couldn't control them, they were flowing like a stream, a torrent that couldn't be stopped.

Hikari glanced at my hands, which were holding the ring and pendant together.

"Hikari" Takumi...you don't have to make a choice.

She said this in a very gentle tone, sitting down next to me, she looked into my eyes and began to speak again in her gentle voice.

"Hikari" You don't have to make a choice that will please me or anyone else. First of all, think about yourself: what will be best for you? Think about it, think about what can make you happy. I will accept any decision you make. The main thing is that you do not suffer

There was no sadness, no joy, no pressure in her eyes. There was only...

calm, peace, a desire to help.

"Takumi" What if I'm wrong? What should I do then?

"Hikari" Mistakes are part of the journey, no matter what it is. Whatever your answer, I will be with you.

These words burned me to the depths of my soul. I nodded silently, let go of her hand and slowly stood up.

"Takumi" I need to think.

In response, she only nodded approvingly and left the room.

I was left alone in the room. The sun had already disappeared behind the horizon, leaving behind only a soft glow on the walls. The silence was oppressive, but at the same time there was some peace in it. I looked again at the pendant and the ring. They lay on the palm of my hand like two anchors holding me in place.

I remembered Hikari's words. Her voice still echoed in my head: "The main thing is that you don't suffer anymore." Those words were so simple, but I felt like they carried something much more. She wanted me to choose not for her sake, but for mine.

My thoughts returned to Yuki. Her face, her voice… They had once been all that kept me alive. But now, the memories of her were like an old, dusty mirror, the reflection growing blurrier. I held onto that ring as a symbol that I had once been capable of deep emotion. But… what now?

I picked up the pendant. Its surface gleamed in the soft light. Hikari had become to me what Yuki once was. But she had given me more. Not only had she been there, but she had helped me see that I could still be myself, even after everything that had happened.

"I'm afraid of losing her," I thought. This fear was stronger than my attachment to the past. Yuki was part of my history, but Hikari was part of my present.

I took a deep breath, as if preparing for something important, and stood up. Now I knew exactly what I had to do.

I opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. The light from the kitchen cast warm reflections on the floor, and from there came the quiet sounds of a book being turned. I froze for a moment, listening to this simple, yet so cozy sound.

I stood next to Hikari, looking at her. She was in no hurry. Her calm was not something artificial, on the contrary, at some point it became my anchor. I still felt the weight of the choice I had just tried to make. But now, in her presence, everything seemed a little easier.

I was silent, not knowing what to say. We just sat next to each other, and this silence was somehow special. She did not rush me, and I did not rush. Time dragged on, but it did not oppress.

It took several minutes before I decided to speak, despite all the

confusion in my head.

"Takumi" You know... When I first thought that I could be with you, I didn't know how I would feel. Everything was in a jumble in my head.

Hikari looked up and a soft smile crossed her face.

"Hikari" You weren't supposed to know. You always did the best you could, and maybe you didn't know what the future would hold. But it's your sincerity in this that's most important.

I felt everything inside me calm down a little again. Yes, I didn't know. But now I understood that you don't need to know everything. The main thing is to move forward without losing yourself.

As I glanced at her face, I felt something change. I didn't want to be tied to the past anymore. I couldn't lose her because she was what mattered to me now.

Time, which had seemed to slow down, continued to drag on, and I noticed how her gaze never left mine. It was almost weightless, but there was so much calm in her gaze that I began to understand that for both of us this moment was more than just a conversation.

"Takumi" Hikari...I'm so afraid that everything will fall apart again. What if I make a mistake and you leave?

She didn't answer right away. Instead, she made a small gesture, as if she wanted me to continue. It wasn't insistent, but there was support in her silence.

"Takumi" I'm afraid of losing you, and being the same as I was before.

Dark, broken. I don't want to be that person.

I fell silent, and her hands slowly reached out to me, as if she wanted to be close, to make me feel her presence. I met her gaze and saw her nod slightly, as if this was not the first thing she had heard from me.

"Hikari" You will never be the same as you were before,

She said it softly, with such confidence that I wanted to believe it one hundred percent.

"Hikari" You became this person because you went through this. Your doubts are also your strength. We are always changing, Takumi. You don't have to be afraid of who you were. You don't have to be different for me.

I closed my eyes and let her words sink in. There was truth in them, there was real support. I felt everything around me lighten. I didn’t have to be afraid of change. I could be myself, and that was enough.

She stood up quietly and walked to the table, holding my hand. With each movement she made, I felt the tension leave, something inside me letting go. I followed her, and finally felt ready to take that step.

"Takumi" What if I can't leave the past? What if it won't let me go?

"Hikari" It shouldn't.

She answered, filling my heart with light with her gaze.

"Hikari" You can leave him without losing yourself. Just know that I'm here.

We stood there, and in her words I felt what I needed—not judgment, not decision, but simple acceptance. I could stop here, in this silence, and not worry anymore. But in fact, I knew that was just the first step. The real work began inside me.

"Takumi" You say that everything will be okay, but I can't figure out what to do with what was. How can I move on without forgetting everything that was once a part of me?

Hikari chuckled softly, her eyes glittering softly. She came closer again and hugged me.

It was a simple movement, but it held all the meaning of what I was saying.

what she was trying to convey to me. She wasn't trying to console me, she wasn't trying to make a choice for me. She was just there, and that was enough.

"Hikari" You must not forget. The past does not disappear, it remains with us. But we can learn to live with it. You do not have to lose everything to find yourself. You have already found me, and I am ready to be with you while you find yourself.

Her words were like a gentle but confident light shining through the clouds. I felt the darkness that had surrounded me for so long begin to dissipate. In that simple gesture, in her presence, I found something important - not a decision, not answers, but an understanding that choice is not about rejecting the past, but about embracing the new.

I took a deep breath and looked at her again. She smiled and finally took my hand. We stood there, hugging, and time seemed to slow down. I didn’t know what was ahead, but in that moment I felt ready to move on.

"…"

We walked out of the apartment in silence and headed to the park where it all began for Hikari and me. The air was crisp, the evening light filtering through the trees, creating shadows and reflections that seemed almost magical. I felt empty in my chest, but not in the same way as before. It was something new, something different—a feeling of lightness that haunted me. We walked side by side, and each step felt like a step into a new world, a world where I could be myself.

When we reached the shop, I stopped. This time, I didn't feel the weight that had always followed me before. I looked at her—at Hikari—and her eyes were as soft as ever. There was no pressure, no expectation. She was simply there, like the light at the end of the road I had been searching for.

We sat down next to each other, and the silence didn't seem as painful as it had before. I felt her pressed against me, and I felt warm. She didn't say anything, she was just there, and that was better than words.

I took the ring from Yuki out of my pocket again. It was cold to the touch, but at that moment it did not pull me back. It was just a memory, nothing more. I held it in my hands for a long time, examining every detail, but I realized that I could not carry this burden any longer. I was not the same person I had been before, and now I understood that in order to move forward, I had to free myself from what was holding me back.

I stood up, walked to the edge of the lake and threw the ring into the water. It disappeared in the blink of an eye as soon as it touched the water and I felt relief fill me.

Hikari came up to me, quietly took my hand. I looked at her, and in her eyes I saw what I was looking for - support, understanding, love.

"Hikari" Are you sure?

"Takumi" Quite. I don't reject the past, I just want to get rid of what can keep me in it.

After the ring disappeared into the water, I stood there listening to the waves gently push it away. Somehow, everything inside me calmed down, although the feeling of liberation did not leave. I turned around, and before I could say anything, Hikari suddenly stood up.

She looked at me and I saw her face become a little cold again, as if we hadn't just been through all those moments. She approached me as if she didn't know me, her steps were confident and her expression was reserved, even a little alien.

"Hikari" Hey, boy, why are you sad? Everything will be fine. It will be fine when we meet.

She said with a slight smile on her face.

I froze, unsure what was happening. It was the same phrase she had said when we first met. But now, in light of everything that had happened, it sounded different. As if it were not a casual remark, but the awakening of something I had long ignored in myself.

I was silent, and she stood in front of me, as then, but now between us there was no longer just a meeting - it was a moment when I realized that everything I had experienced should lead to a new beginning.