Under the soft light of the garden floodlights, with those closest to me in good spirits and eagerly watching me, I opened the gift in front of me.

Paper discarded, a metal container was revealed. Not unlike many that we had in our storage room. I raised an eyebrow at the techie, who maintained a rather neutral expression on her face.

I made easy work of the two clasps on either side of the lid before gingerly lifting it up. Light filling the interior, I leaned forward to see five magazines stacked in there. Ammunition for my bloodlust. The shells on the top of two of them were familiar, but my eyes were drawn to the other two on the left side.

“We had a few shipments in while you were out,” Clara explained. “Twenty Quake shots, ten that are a new development I am calling Sunder shots… and then we have twenty Sanguine stakes fresh from the hobgoblin forge.”

I sat staring at them for a few moments, and probably would have salivated over them if I had the ability to. Something twisted inside me, and I winced.

[Thank you so much, Clara. I will never go anywhere without them, seeing how much of a trouble magnet I am.]

While the others murmured their agreements and gave some brief cheers over my gift, the techie leaned forward so that we could hug. I gave her a pat on the back and attempted to whisper in her ear.

[Please take these and hide them, otherwise I will be a danger to all here.]

She parted and gave me a brief nod, her eyes able to read my expression. I was holding things together the best I could. Having the hero-killing ammunition right… there, within arm’s reach, was…

My fist clenched beneath the table as the techie picked the box up and took it away, drawing away the haze that had me seeing my friends as enemies. Old habits died hard, but the stakes would make that an easier process. I snapped back to my normal self as Roxy leaned into me.

“I have a gift for you too, but it’ll have to wait until later when everyone is gone.” She paused and looked around the table. “That made it sound like a sex thing, but it’s not.”

More jeers and laughter, and the turmoil within me settled. While the mental anguish had felt better than being bed-bound for weeks, I needed to be careful.

“It’s almost a good thing our reveal was delayed,” Ren said, tilting her bottle towards the pair of us once Roxy had finished browbeating them. “Seeing as the main present from all of us arrived this morning.”

[I wasn’t expecting to get so spoiled.]

“A hero reveal is a big thing in our world,” Belle said. “You’re part of the club, officially. There is one thing we need to do, however…”

Ren narrowed her eyes. “Don’t shit stir. You know we have all decided already.”

“Ah, it makes it more of a bonding thing if we do it in person, though.” The shielder grinned and looked at Roxy. “Assuming someone isn’t sensitive about the subject?”

“Fuck no.” The super sighed and shook her head, moving away from me to stand up to her feet. She cleared her throat and gave the gathered group a dull glare. “As required by the League, I am to step down from the leadership position for the nearly minted Natural Disasters. I nominate Dubs to be my replacement. Show of hands who agree.”

They all raised their hands. Unanimous.

[Really? I thought one of you with more experience might be a better fit. Roy, for example, with your military background?]

The Captain shook his head animatedly. “No chance, Dubs.”

“Yeah, good luck leading this herd of assholes,” Roxy added. “You might be green when it comes to being a hero, Dubs, but you’ve already turned us from messy dumbasses into a team capable of climbing the rankings.”

Belle nodded. “Just think about what we can do with more practical experience. Our team mission tomorrow, for example. There’s a difference between heroes that work together, and ones that are a cohesive team.”

[Which you all proved when you turned up to save my life.]

It was give and take. My statement devolved the conversation into squabbling over what I had done for all of them. Saving Belle from the spider villain. Getting Roy back on the straight and narrow. A lot of heroes were assholes, even to those they were teamed with. I wondered if it was my passive pacification aura that had eventually muted their egos down to being a function team, or we were just different from others.

“Let’s… put a pin in that,” Roxy eventually cut them off, attempting to be the diplomat. “Dubs is officially our new leader via unanimous vote. Gods save him. Before you all start arguing about some other bullshit, it’s time for the main course.”

Rather than suddenly spring a hoard of food upon us, she instead gestured over to the side where Clara had been standing in wait. The techie held up a small controller and flicked a switch. Larger floodlights over by the warehouse illuminated the ground in bright white light, revealing a large boxy shape covered in a dark tarp.

Due to the lighting difference, I hadn’t even spotted it out there before. My focus had been on the table full of glowing faces. The darkness always held surprises, and this one was probably nothing bad. Roxy held her hand out and helped me up to my feet.

It was large, about the same size as my old murder shack—just a little longer. Maybe I was being kicked out, the social experiment was over. Everything would vanish by the morning and I’d wake alone with nothing to do but kill time once more. A knot built up in my stomach. What were they planning to do with me? I only had one purpose.

The super squeezed my hand, some stress falling away like she had wrung a sponge. Walking the distance was no issue, and I felt no pain during the brief journey. The anxiety was uncomfortable, and even knowing I was being ridiculous, it didn’t change how worried I was about whatever was under that tarp.

I wished Clara had left me one mag out, just in case.

“It will be okay,” Roxy murmured to me, so that only I could hear. “I’m here.”

That calmed me and stopped me looking around for all the eyes out in the darkness that only appeared in my peripheral. They were there; I was sure… but Roxy would punch them if they threatened me.

Clara appeared beside me, something new in her hands. It wasn’t a magazine as I had wished for, but a fresh canister. I wasn’t particularly hungry or dry, but could read between the lines. The ones she sent through my STAR.

//Clara: Medicated. Will provide relief from your delusions.

//Clara: However, you will probably tire within the hour.

I crouched down slightly so that she could eject the old canister from my neck and insert the new.

[Your dress is nice.]

“Thank you, Gunquake. I chose it especially.” She closed the last clasp and gave me a soft smile. “However, I would much rather be in my overalls and working, but perhaps that is the true reason I just gave you a sedative.”

Suited me, either way. It was good to see everyone one last time before we got into our new outfits and stepped out on stage. I shivered a little as the nutritional canister gave me a burst of the laced liquid. One last party before I became a working man and had to do boring League work. The sooner I got my hand, the sooner I… well, I wasn’t sure what.

More villain-face punching, if the public had any say.

Roy grinned as he lifted up a rope to hand to me, something for me to pull on to remove the cover from the surprise underneath. “Clara did most of the heavy lifting when it came to getting this, but we all chipped in a little.”

It looked around fifteen feet wide, twelve tall, and twenty-odd long. If it was just a shipping container filled with grenades, then I might dump the super for Clara instead. Or all of them, since they contributed. I blinked away those odd thoughts, slightly easier than before, and gave the rope a pull.

The tarp slid from the gift, increasing in speed as the weight of itself dragged it to the ground.

What lay beneath was… beautiful.

I stood there, briefly star-struck at what I could only describe as a tank. It had no turret or cannon, but had the same profile. Large, thick tracks ran on either side. Deep green, like my trenchcoat, with two large bright green headlamps.

“This is about as heavy-duty as you can get without excessive permits from the World Gov,” the Captain said, pride and joy filling his face as he gazed at it. “Reinforced plate shell, nigh bulletproof and explosive resistant. Dual self-repairing tracks that will make going through the wasteland a breeze. Enough cabin space for the five of us, plus equipment.”

“Air conditioned,” Ren murmured.

“Signal repeater to allow me drone access from a greater distance.” Clara paused. “Although I have not received my drone yet. Remote piloting. Fitted with smoke deployment, minor cloaking, and a temporary haptic shield.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Roxy waved them away. “Dubs doesn’t need to read the fine-print right now. It’s a fuckoff armored personnel carrier dolled up to the nines in his theme. Good thing he was made leader, so at least it makes sense for him to be carting our asses around.”

[Can we go… use it now?]

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Clara looked up at me, and our eyes met. While most of the others heard me ask if I could have a little joyride around the lot, the techie heard something different. To her ears—ones that knew me very well—I had just asked if we could find some monsters or mutants to go run over. Or perhaps I was projecting more than what was actually going on. The conclusion was the same either way.

“Not while you’re not in a good mental state, Gunquake. It will still be here tomorrow.”

I couldn’t even argue with that. It would be a terrible idea to get it all bloody before our reveal tomorrow, anyway.

[Are you able to fit it with V-Force drives?]

She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head, any concern now replaced with deep thought. “There are several answers to that question, and none of them are a straight ‘no’. Not at this stage, at least.”

I nodded and returned to being star-struck by the behemoth of a team vehicle. My quake-cycle, which had been recovered at some point and was sitting off to the side, now looked miniature in comparison.

[Thank you all. Best birthday I’ve ever had.]

I tuned out most of the responses I got to that. The mood was still high and people were jubilant. I received brief hugs and pats on the back as most of them started to return to the table. Actual food and more drinks promised. I couldn’t keep my eyes off the carrier. After a few moments, I noticed that Roy had been left in charge of babysitting me.

“How are you holding up?” he asked, standing beside me with his arms cross to admire the vehicle as well. “You seem a little out of it.”

[Yeah. All things considered, I can’t complain. Not my first near death experience, as you know firsthand.]

“It gets any easier? First time I almost died, it certainly changed my perspective on things.” He glanced back at the group where Roxy was arguing with Clara over something. Maybe grenades.

[There’s certainly a lot more at stake these days. Roxy asked me if we were going steady earlier. I’m not sure what that even means.]

The Captain grinned. “Rox can be hard-headed at the best of times, but she’s clearly got a soft spot for you. I’ve certainly seen odder couples, but… don’t worry about it. Just be true to yourself and honest with her.”

[Speaking from experience?]

“Eh. Expert in theory, but I always fuck up the practicals. I’m just not built for relationships, and I’m fine with that these days.” He sighed and ran his eyes over the vehicle again.

[Are you able to leak who Roxy’s ex was?]

“Fuck no. Especially not while your screws are a little loose. The last thing we need is you going off the deep end right before our debut mission tomorrow. I’m already feeling itchy about being underground again.”

I gave him a quizzical look, and he realized that I hadn’t been clued in on what was actually happening. He gestured, and we started to walk around the carrier slowly, to chat as we inspected it.

“Rox mentioned they wouldn’t send you the brief until they knew your condition, so I guess they haven’t decided yet.” Roy put his hands in his pockets as we flanked the vehicle. “Some mad scientist whack job has been taking animals down into the sewers and mutating them into monstrosities.”

[That’s fucked up.]

He burst out into laughter. “I’m sure we’ve been through worse, Dubs. You really aren’t yourself, huh? The villain doesn’t have any known intention of taking his new pets out onto the streets, but it’s only a matter of time. Thankfully, it won’t be a fully public mission. They have various names for these things… I’m sure you’ve done your homework.” The grin told me he knew I hadn’t.

[I’m well versed in erasing monsters.]

“Generally speaking, a mission would be either Public or Private. All eyes on us, or actual work without so much media bullshit.” We paused at the rear of the stocky transport, where the back would open down to allow us entrance. “Of course, the League will milk what they can, and everything has a narrative. It’s our debut, so we can’t just go kick the shit out of the bad guys and head home… but they don’t want blood on the streets, either.”

[How are they advertising our work if we’re hidden away, then?]

“They call it Seeded.” The Captain pulled a face, clearly unimpressed with the way that the League worked. “For days, they’ve been putting information out into the press that there have been monster sightings. Mutated strays and things going bump in the night. Tomorrow there will be rumors of a villain planning to assault the district we’ll be doing the mission in.”

[Then we’ll just pop out of the sewers once the job is done, covered in blood and filth, with the cameras rolling. A few corpses as prop evidence to really sell we were the heroes responsible for saving the city.]

“You’re a natural, Dubs.” Roy gave me a wink. “Keep playing the game and the League will allow you a simple enough life. Assuming that you can avoid kicking your way into S-Rank villain lairs, at least.”

[You also forget about our side hustle.]

“Ah, fuck. You’re right. Wasteland bullshit.” He grimaced and shook his head. “At least the League should allow us to settle into being a hero team for a while before we’re kicking up bloodied dust again.”

[There was something I wanted to ask you about that… but my mind is lagging. Let’s head back to the table, if that’s fine.]

He gave me a nod, and we returned to the party. Most conversations were going in and out of my ears without sticking, but it was enough for me to see everyone in a good mood. There weren’t even any nerves about tomorrow. I was sure that even if Clara convinced the League that I was good to go, they’d expect me to take it easy and probably assign Belle as my babysitter.

Sewer fighting sounded mundane, anyway. Other than making sure Roxy didn’t set off any gas pockets with her lava powers, the super could probably solo a mission like that. Several thoughts pinned to my mental fridge at an earlier date had fallen off, magnets ceasing to function at present. I’d pick them up when I was a little more lucid.

After taking the backseat in the current goings on for another fifteen minutes, I felt like my mind had melted away. Some sleep would be a good idea. I blinked away the haze as Roxy and Roy had a lopsided arm wrestling contest, and glanced at the techie sitting to my right. In an attempt to get her sole attention, I lifted my gun-arm up and over her. Rather than wait for my message, I was surprised as she leaned closer and rested her head on my chest.

[I think I’m at my limit.]

She nodded and gave me a pat on the knee, turning her head slightly so that she could glare intently at the super.

Roxy caught the stare and looked at me. A brief smile and slight nod, getting the unspoken message. Although... Clara could have also just sent her one through their STARs. What remained of the party was a numb blur as each of the guests gave me a hug and their well-wishes. Hopefully, for my next birthday party I’d be more lucid. And still alive.

While the helicopter spun away from the top of the warehouse, the super looped her arm through mine and led me to the house.

“We just need to the dining room for your last gift, then I’ll take you up. If you could do the honors, Clara?”

The techie nodded and hit the stairs as I was taken into the room beneath them. Once a place where I had been operated on, it was now clear of any evidence I had almost bled to death under Clara’s desperate medical care. Plain and unassuming. With a gesture, Roxy had us both sit down on the floor.

[Do you think I’ll be well enough for the mission tomorrow?]

She pulled my hand over and held it on her lap. “You won’t be one-hundred percent, but Clara is confident you can participate enough for the team reveal.”

Maybe a little violence would help sharpen my dull blade. I’m sure the abominable creatures were kickable and allergic to grenades. I fought the urge to empower my V-Force drives. Thankfully, Clara’s light footsteps coming back down the stairs distracted me from a potential adrenaline spike.

“This is… it’s an odd one,” Roxy apologized in advance. “I might have been way off the mark but-”

[Don’t worry, I trust your judgement.]

The techie appeared, a thick cardboard box in her hands. It was dull gray in color, with several small holes along the top edges of each side. Gingerly, she stepped forward and placed it on the floor in front of us. Clara sat down on the other side, so that we were forming a triangle around the gift.

A discreet, high-pitched wail came from within.

The weight of the quiet tension in the room that followed willed me to act before anyone had the chance to acknowledge the sound. Left hand went forward. Undid the simple clasp keeping the box closed, and allowed it to open.

A small cat looked up at me, unimpressed with the change in lighting. It mewed once more, screaming for validation. The top half of it was patches of varying shades of gray, its underside and most of the four fluffy legs a bright white. Two green eyes winced as it sought my attention a third time.

Without delaying any further, I reached down to pluck it out. This explained Roxy’s awkward conversation about our relationship status. We now owned a shared pet. Something that normal people did on the regular. I was now one of those people.

“Please tell me if it’s too much, or not your style or if this is-” the super began.

[I had a dream about kittens the other day.]

Clara tilted her head. “Coincidence, or perhaps your premotion does more than get you in trouble.”

“Our lives are always detracted from the norm. Weird job. Weird friends. Weird relationships. Connecting with something average helps life feel less bullshit.”

I held the cat up against my chest, cradling the small creature in my hand. He was small, weak, and soft. Yet, any violent thoughts had completely evaporated from my mind. Perhaps because he was neither hero nor villain. I wasn’t programmed to kill innocents. He mewed at me again and I placed him gently on the floor.

[Does he have a name?]

“Well, I figured you could choose.” Roxy smiled and leaned closer to get a better look at the kitten. She glanced up at the techie, who was still maintaining a neutral expression. “Are you not overwhelmed by the cuteness, Clara?”

“What makes you think I would have an affinity for a small, aloof creature known for their superiority complex?” She crossed her arms, but was clearly watching me interact with the kitten.

I ran my finger down the top of his head and neck, and he pushed himself into me eagerly. Acceptance, without question or judgement. Simple, and something only my exhausted brain could find so earth-shattering. But it was. The unbiased view of the cat put things into perspective about my existence. Which reminded me of… reminded me of…

[W… Warlock.]

“Warlock?” Roxy raised an eyebrow, shooting a glance between me and the techie. “That’s the name?”

[Yes. Yes, I…]

It felt as though someone had just dumped my brain in a blender and hit the on switch. Misshaped thoughts and shadowed memories darted around but didn’t hit my conscious mind. The smell of blood and chill of an unfelt breeze ran through my body.

[May I have a moment alone?]

Although confused and worried, they allowed it. “We’ll just be in the kitchen, okay?”

I nodded and continued petting at the kitten until their footsteps left me alone. With all that I could offer, I pushed together something salient. Like a clay vase still in progress, crushed by clumsy hands. Not whole or proper, but enough to where the raw emotion of it was clear.

[Warlock. I am… so sorry.]

Gently, I plucked the cat up and placed him on my lap. Resumed the light strokes across his back.

[I… miss you. I know you are gone and hope you can forgive me. Forgave me. I…]

There were no further words. Tears leaked from me, despite no sadness really hitting. In all honesty, I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on. Part of the old me dredged up some thoughts. A squad member I was close to. One of my potential brothers that had stood by me until the end. Not facts, but a believable enough story.

Warlock purred as the old me cried over something the current me had no attachment to. I felt relieved and peaceful. Nothing else in the world mattered in this moment other than the unconditional love of this tiny animal. I would destroy the world for this cat.

After a few minutes, when my eyes finally became unblurred and dry, Warlock had fallen asleep on my lap. Content. I looked up to see Roxy hovering in the doorway; her face hovering between several different emotions.

[Thank you. This means a lot to me.]

The super came in to fuss over the kitten for a bit, while the techie started furnishing the house with all the necessary things he would need. While I was overjoyed and wanted to share this moment for a while longer, the sedatives were hitting me hard and I needed to rest. I stacked away several conversations-in-wait and internal monologues for a better day.

A quick explanation, and Roxy set the cogs in motion. Warlock was hoisted away by Clara to move to one of his beds, and I was led upstairs. My leg cybernetics ached as I moved my way to the bedroom, which was an odd and confusing feeling.

Tomorrow I would be out and active again. A Hero with a capital h. Stronger, and with new toys to play with. Maybe slightly insane.

Roxy closed the bedroom door and came over to me to unbutton my shirt. “I hope you had a good evening. We’ll do it again when you’re feeling better. The other assholes were begging me to do it today rather than delay it.”

[It was great to see them again. They must have been worried.]

“Yeah, they were.” She pulled the shirt off my arms and away. “You’re the cornerstone of our little gang, so we need you to stick around.” Her hands came down and paused as she held the buckle for my slacks. She bit her lip and narrowed her eyes. “Say, how much energy do you have before you pass out?”

[For you, I would endure eternity.]

“Good answer.” She pushed me onto the bed before ripping off her dress in one quick motion.

It was the best birthday I had ever had.