As I glared at the darkness in front of my closed eyes, I waited another handful of tortuous seconds for the super to explain what she found so surprising beneath my mask. Even Clara was being silent, which I didn’t take to be a great sign. The odd pipe dream of there being a normal face under the mask was slipping away.
“Is that a bomb?” Roxy asked.
“Rockslide, please. Do not worry the patient with nonsense.”
“Well, a blinking red light isn’t normal.”
I sighed, feeling the passage of air on my chest due to my mask position, and opened my eyes. Other than now having a full nose in view, I couldn’t see anything past my cheeks, save for the re-breather tube and mask now sitting slightly away from me. Clara’s face was close to my right, and Roxy’s to my left.
[Some information would be nice.]
“Here,” the techie handed something to the super. “Hold this light so I can get a better look. I apologize, Mr Dubs. There is a lot more going on in here than I had anticipated.”
If I didn’t know any better, it seemed as though she was both excited and nervous at the prospect of digging around whatever I had instead of a lower jaw. A small pointer light illuminated just beneath where I could see. Rather than a bomb, I wondered if I had a kill-switch Boss had installed just in case I-
“It’s a kill-switch,” Clara informed me. “Paired with an alarm system to notify someone that your mask has been removed.” She moved away, before leaning her body across me so that she could see her laptop on the chair against the wall on the left. “Seems… we have blocked it being reported.”
“Don’t climb all over him,” Roxy chided, while looking more worried than annoyed.
“Excuse my familiarity, Mr Dubs.” She slid back onto her feet. “Given that there was a chance you might die, I assumed the press of my body would be the least of your concerns.”
“Clara.”
[Are you able to remove the kill-switch?]
It was a pragmatic choice for Boss to have a way to get rid of me if I ever turned on him. He must have known it was an inevitability. Although, why I had an alarm to report that my face had been exposed wasn’t something I quite understood yet.
“There is a risk to it, but yes. I would suggest we leave the alarm part intact, but removed the part that can kill you.”
[Understood. Please proceed.]
Less chance of giving the game away that I had been compromised.
“I’d need to anyway, to use some of the connector pins for the maintenance node.” She gave a brief sigh before shaking her head. “Alright, we’ve been having some fun up to now, but this is serious, so focus.”
Roxy nodded, and her brow furrowed. I wasn’t too sure what she was alluding to - I didn’t think I had much of an active role in current proceedings, but I’d be extra stoic if it meant there was less chance for me to die.
“Would you like me to give you a full diagnostics, Mr Dubs, as you are unable to see?”
[Please.]
“As you had expected, you have nothing below your upper jaw. Cybernetics are again very high quality custom work, and covers every open surface of the empty space - so no gore or exposed innards, it just runs from the back of where your throat would be, as a continuation to your neck cybernetics.”
Some of the tension left my face. While it was disappointing to know I wasn’t secretly harboring a normal face down there, in some ways, it couldn’t be any other way. How dire my end-of-life event must have been for them to have to replace so much of me.
“Re-breather tube, which goes down into the neck. There are also thick cables on either side that run from your stim and cannister ports, up to your brain - something unusual, as they are usually just worked into the bloodstream.” Her hand pressed against the side of my face, her thumb running against the seam where my mask clipped in. “Alarm system attached to some drugs pouch that would kill you… but there’s something else, Mr Dubs.”
Roxy tried to get a better angle with the torch. “Are we talking about those other cables besides the others? Disconnected ones?”
I felt a roll of something in my stomach. A bad feeling? Or something at the back of my brain, knowing a secret that was about to be let out. Despite feeling exposed, having Roxy’s hand on my arm, and Clara’s on my face, was surprisingly comforting.
“Even with our Dead Zone up, I can barely bring the courage forth to say what I think.” The techie removed her hand and stepped out of sight. “The weight of this is both overwhelming and sparks an incredible amount of joy within me.”
The super pulled a face and looked down at me, before scowling at Clara. “Don’t leave us in suspense. How about you get the kill-switch disabled first?”
[That would be preferable.]
Any revelation or unexpected news could wait until I knew that there wasn’t a chance I could just die with nothing to stop it. If it was connected directly to my brain or bloodstream, I’d have mere seconds before being erased. Although I didn’t blame Boss for the act, I found my fist clenching at the thought that he truly saw me as a disposable tool… and I no longer shared the same view of myself.
“Of course.” Clara stepped back up, her multi-tool now switching to a pronged blade. “Everyone remain as calm and still as possible. It’s a simple process, but… well, just let me work.”
We didn’t even grunt or nod our acknowledgements. Roxy held my arm a little tighter as she adjusted the torch to illuminate the device just below my upper jaw. I wondered if they had left my teeth in, and how goofy that would look. To her credit, the super hadn’t seemed too put-off to see that I was nothing but a machine under the mask. I wasn’t at a good enough angle to determine if there were any other thoughts past the worry on her face.
Clara moved the tool to where I couldn’t see it. She was calm, and her hand was steady, as her glowing eyes remained unblinking. I felt no pressure or awkwardness, as something made a clicking noise. Her hand moved and then there was a second clip coming apart, this time with a small tugging sensation at the back of where my throat would be.
Roxy had her breath held, statuesque. I was focused on the techie’s hands, unable to look away.
Another clip and her other hand came up, long tweezers came in and slowly she withdrew both. Between the two tools, a small vial came up into view. Wrapped in a bit of tech with short wires protruding, and a tube on top.
“Nasty stuff,” she said, breaking the silence, before taking it off to the side to place on a chair. “Death in two seconds once it reached your brain, and then it would continue to destroy any brain matter, leaving your skull empty… before it then chewed through any nerve or synapse connections.”
“Fucking hells,” Roxy whispered.
[Why go to such lengths? Seems as though Boss doesn’t want anyone to find out about my past.]
“Precisely.” Clara stepped back into view and pulled her facemask down. She was clearly relieved that I hadn’t melted away under her care. She put a hand on my forehead.
“Are you taking his temperature, or…?” Roxy had her eyes narrowed.
“My patient’s well-being is important. Are you comfortable, Mr Dubs?”
[I would like to know about those disconnected cables.]
While I was pretty neutral on being manhandled by the two by now, I still had that knot in my stomach about the mystery wires within me. What they could be.
Hand removed, the techie gave me a nod. “I will say one sentence and wait for your reaction before I continue with the explanation.”
[Go ahead.]
“These two that have been disconnected on either side of your neck are older than the rest of your cybernetics.”
Something from my old life then. It could be the only answer. A chill ran through me. Roxy looked confused, but I felt… nauseated. I was a super soldier, and these would have been part of that life - where I drew power from, maybe? Depended on what they were connected to.
[What happens when you reconnect them?]
The act was a given, no need to deliberate on whether we should or not. I wanted it, no questions necessary.
“It’s… hard to say for certain. They are like synapse connections, from what I can tell - but it doesn’t mean there would be an immediate change.” She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. “Not something I am well versed in. An appropriate metaphor would be a stream that was long run dry. Reconnecting would allow moisture to flow, but it will be a slow build up before it is back to the expected level.”
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“Are you sure about this, Dubs? What if the reason they disabled them was because it wouldn’t work with your current tech?” Concern had her brow furrowed.
I raised my hand up, and she released the grip on my arm, only for me to put my hand on her in an attempt to comfort her nerves. Given that she was moving and I couldn’t see much from this angle, it seemed as though I had put my hand on her hip, which wasn’t my intention. Still, I continued the course.
[You will have to trust me. I want this.]
She nodded, only slightly tongue-tied as I removed my hand. “Behind you all the way, then.”
“I will warn you, Mr Dubs, that connecting them is no issue, but once they start syncing again, it would be out of my control. My assumption would be that it was only your near-death state that allowed them to sever the connection without long-term side effects.”
[Understood, and any risk is accepted.]
“You are indeed the ideal patient.” She gave me a brief smile before vanishing off to the right.
Roxy’s hand returned to my arm. “Let me know if this is too much. I’m pretty shit at this. Not sure what to do with myself.”
[Just be yourself, that’s all I’d ever ask. You’re not recoiling in horror from my true appearance?]
“No. Like it’s fucking weird, don’t get me wrong. But it’s you, and everyone is different.”
[Most people have a lower face.]
She shrugged. “Most people aren’t superheroes or cyborg hitmen. And you probably could get a new face—if you wanted—right, Clara?”
“Oddly enough, whoever did the work left that option open.” Her voice came from the side of the room. “Interesting, considering your arm does not have that same consideration. For a face, you could get some basic cyborg lower jaw made. Costly. A synthetic face would be more realistic, but they can come across uncanny…”
“Would totally ruin your badass vibe too,” Roxy added.
“You could get a true-skin replacement which would be as close to a real transplant as possible, if for whatever reason you really required luscious, soft lips.” She stepped back into my vision, mask back up. “But again, that requires expert level craftsmanship and several million credits.”
[But it wouldn’t replace my vocal chords, correct?]
“Unfortunately, you are tied to using a vocalizer, Mr Dubs. With a full face, it would instead be installed within your new throat area and with practice and time, you’d be able to move your mouth in sync with the voice.” She paused as she selected which tool to use. “Personally, I’d say go for the cyborg option. Although, I am biased.”
“Not like you’d be getting true-skin on a sidekick’s pay.” Roxy rolled her eyes, a glum expression on her face.
I kept my lack of a mouth shut. Affordability was one thing, but it wasn’t simply a matter of throwing money at the problem. It was easy to throw around the what-ifs, imagining me with a whole new high-tech A-Grade arm and a handsome full true-skin face. Did that help me with my past? Not really. With my life as a hitman and potential sidekick? I also doubted that would really change how effective I was.
But the future? Assuming I lived a decent number of years past all this bullshit from my old life that we were dredging up… then I’d like some of those upgrades. At present, if Clara’s estimates were accurate, then I could afford one of them and still have enough to be comfortable.
By that time, my golden goose would no longer be employing me, I was sure. I’d take each day as it came for now - the fact that I might be getting my super solider memories back over time had me panicked enough. Not panicked, maybe just apprehensive. Tenterhooks.
“There will be a small spark as I weld these joints together as they were sealed closed, but you shouldn’t feel anything as there are no nerves in this area.”
[Understood. When you said that the option for a lower jaw had been left open, are you saying that it would have been easy to have that done at the time?]
Clara paused, but didn’t respond.
“Assholes!” Roxy interjected. “You’re saying your Boss made the choice to keep you like this?”
“Possible.” The techie rolled out her shoulder and narrowed her eyes at the parts needing fixing. “We cannot assume their intent, but giving how well this custom work is crafted, it wouldn’t have been beyond their capability to give you something more.”
The three of us fell into a silence as the work commenced. Hard for me to say I was mad at Boss. I was alive due to his intervention; I was sure - but it was his lack of consideration over how I lived the life given to me that had me… just left with a sour taste in my lack of mouth.
Roxy winced as there was a spark of blue light on my right side. Clara’s fingers moved the connective pieces together before a second buzz of energy repaired the connection. She blew away a thin stream of smoke from the area before circling around to the other side. The super’s hand unclasped from my arm once more as she stepped back to allow the techie in.
A repeated process. Spark to unbind the sealed tubes, and another to affix them together. Smoke blown away. The light from her eyes glowed slightly brighter as she focused on her handiwork.
“I’ll still leave the alarm part in as agreed, just in case there’s a failsafe where it regularly pings a host to determine if it is still active.” She moved away to circle back to where she had placed her tools. “I will just connect the maintenance node, and then we are done, Mr Dubs.”
[How did I fare, compared to your expectations?]
“You are full of surprises, Mr Dubs. But you have remained calm and still, and have listened to my advice and instructions well. Gold star for you.”
I probably shouldn’t let that bring me so much joy, but it was nice to get a compliment once in a while. Being able to lay in place wasn’t a huge hurdle, but with how my life had been up until this point - I’d take it.
“You feel anything new yet, Dubs?” Roxy was back to my side, where I could see her.
[Only that this was necessary to unlock my hidden past. I am in both of your debts for leading me to this point.]
“Maybe you could just get me more ice-cream, then.” She smiled, erasing some of the tension that had been painting her face.
Clara clipped the three pins of the node into place one after the other, before using a gel substance to adhere the device to what would be the roof of my mouth. “This will sync with the rest of your tech and allow you to see reports on your physical condition. Most things will probably be no interest to you, but once it is settled, you’ll be able to see exactly how injured you get and if any problems with your cybernetics crop up.”
[Interesting. Although my stims seem to be able to heal most wounds I receive, it would be nice to have alternate options.]
Roxy nodded. “Especially if Boss will cut you off from the shit you have now once he knows things are up.”
A valid point that I hadn’t really considered. There were some civilian meds I’d be able to order through Hal - things that specifically targeted broken bones or flesh wounds. Wouldn’t have the steroids or nanites that I was used to… but maybe there was an option I didn’t know about.
“Done, Mr Dubs. Ready for me to replace your mask?”
[Yes, please do.]
A simple process that involved gingerly tilting it back into place, ensuring no cables or my tube didn’t get stuck or trapped on anything. Magnetic points clicked into place, and then Clara ran her finger softly around the edge, some small amount of pressure getting everything sealed back in place.
Done.
Now I knew that I had some of my past intentionally cut off in a literal sense. That Boss would kill me if I strayed too far from the job he had built me for. I had the potential to be more whole, and a lot stronger in time, should I have the stomach and wallet for it. There was a good reason I had been looking forward to this gathering, and it had gone beyond my expectations.
Roxy sighed deeply. “Thank fuck that’s over. I’ve been sweating up a storm, so I’m going to go change.”
The techie gave me a pat on the shoulder as she moved away to put her tools back in the cases. With some effort, I swung my legs around and sat up on the edge of the wide bed. Un-goggled eyes went around the room. All corners were still green light. Hand went up to feel around the edges of my mask. Uncomfortable, but would feel used to it again in no time at all.
I shuffled onto the floor and stretched out. Eyes went over to the empty doorway, before back to the techie.
[Clara, may I ask you something?]
“Oh?” She turned and looked up at me. “Be my guest, Mr Dubs.”
[This may be inappropriate… but I was wondering if there was any way I could assist you with doing the courses needed to improve your skills? Financially?]
“And there I was thinking you were about to offer me up your body. For science.” She exhaled and her gaze lowered to the floor. “Thank you for the offer, but at present I am still paying off my eyes - so any such undertakings would not be feasible, even with assistance.”
[Oh, the League charged you for them.]
“They are A-Grade, with some custom work. Every so often, they like to remind me that they can repossess them if I miss payments.” Clara met my eyes once more. “Worth it, however. They mean the world to me.”
In some ways, she and I were alike. Clara was just as beholden to the League for her cybernetics as I was to Boss. Accepting and living the best we could with what we had. But it didn’t have to be that way.
[Another forward question, then. Could you tell me what remains on your balance?]
“Normally I’d reject such prying, Mr Dubs.” She tilted her head. “But considering I’ve had my fingers inside of you, I will let this slide on this occasion. However, I am not allowed to discuss my contract or the debt repayment. The fact that I would not even do so in the Dead Zone should lend weight to how dire breaking the terms would be.”
[Talk about, maybe not. Could you show it, however?]
Her eyes narrowed, and jaw worked. “Such a rule breaker. I can see why… well, fine. If it satiates your curiosity and we can move on from this.”
Clara held out her arm and a digital screen popped up over her forearm, similar to my STAR. Before she could even tilt it to give me a better view, I swiped my own wrist over it.
She was confused, her brow furrowing, right before the ding of a completed transaction broke the silence.
“You… no…” Shock twisted her normally impassive face as she grimaced and brought her digital screen up to her eyes. They darted back and forth as she tried to understand the text, now showing something that seemed illogical. “Mr Dubs… you can’t have… there were over two-hundred thousand credits still owed on that.”
[Let me know when you are able to start the courses.]
Her mouth went up into a pout as her arms fell slack. Unable to find any words of response, she finally stepped forward, throwing her arms around me.
“I am unable to physically cry, Mr Dubs. But I assure you I very much am. I don’t know what to say.”
[No need. Let’s just get things packed up. Allow me to get some fresh air and then I will assist with moving the cases.]
“Understood.” She moved away and gave me a nod, a soft smile on her face. “Turns out I will be in your debt forever. Just as I foretold.”
I waved her off and turned to see that Roxy was now in a sports bra and shorts, leaning against the doorframe but perhaps gearing up to go work out. As I went to step out into the open she moved out of the way and followed me into the front yard.
Day was still overcast, but I felt it was brighter than before. Perhaps because I had forgotten my goggles on the way to re-breathe some fresher air. Now outside of our temporary Dead Zone I’d have to be careful what we discussed.
“You and Clara seem to get on great.” Roxy walked beside me as I started on a slow lap of her garden.
[Hmm? Oh. I think I see some part of myself in her.]
The super maintained a blank stare. “I mean… I’m happy that-”
[Roxy. Despite her flirting, I know that she isn’t interested in me like that. She was just doing that to bug you.]
“Oh.” Roxy turned her gaze away, some color coming to her cheeks. “Not as oblivious as you make out to be.”
[No. I understand what is going on. Is this a conversation you want to have now?]
Her eyes met mine, specs of fire dancing at the back of her amber orbs. “Is this where you say that it would be a mistake? Doomed for failure. It can’t work because of who we are, and that you don’t deserve anything like that due to what you are?”
I stopped near Clara’s van and turned so that we were facing each other. Her arms were folded, ready to deflect my attempts to cloister myself away into my shell of safe solitude.
[Not as oblivious as you make out to be, huh?]
“Asshole.” She sighed and shook her head.
[Listen, Roxy, I-]
A shrill beep vibrated around us, echoing through the area. At first, with it coming from my STAR, I thought Boss had found out, and I was about to meet an attempted end. But the sound also came from Roxy, and from several points out of view inside the house.
“Fuckers,” she hissed, tapping up her information screens. “It’s the League.”
I brought up the notification on my wrist-mounted display.
Urgent, it read. Our first trial needed immediate action.