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56. Bug Buddies S03E11

56. Bug Buddies S03E11

FADE IN:

INT. DENTIST OFFICE - DAY

A man is strapped tightly to a dentist chair. The light obscuring his face. DR. JANZI leaning over the man. We can hear drilling as the body squirms. DR.JANZI leans back. Moving the light to reveal ROBERT was the man in the chair.

ROBERT

Are the straps really necessary doc?

DR.JANZI

Last time you ran away with four hundred dollars worth of equipment still in your mouth. I'm not taking any risks.

ROBERT

I brought it back.

DR.JANZI

No you didn't. You were afraid I'd strap you down and keep working on you. So you had a friend bring it in.

ROBERT

But you did strap me down.

DR.JANZI

It sounded like a good idea. Thank you, I'd never have thought of it myself.

FAYE the attractive assistant walks in to the room.

FAYE

The plumber just left. They fixed the washroom sink. The water is running fine now.

DR.JANZI

Good. It looked like it was coming out a bit brown. I figured my hands would be cleaner if I didn't wash them.

ROBERT

Did you have peanut butter for lunch?

DR.JANZI

Yes, how did you know?

ROBERT

I can taste it.

DR.JANZI

Well, good thing I didn't have anything spicy.

ROBERT

But I'm allergic to peanut butter!

INT. COUCH CAFE - DAY

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

GREG, JOSH, CHANTELLE, and ANNE are spread out across one of the couches and a love seat. RALPH is in the background behind the counter. His head is down.

CHANTELLE

I think I'm going to break up with Ben

RALPH shoots his head up after hearing this. He leaps over the counter and rushes to the love seat CHANTELLE is sitting on.

RALPH

I heard the bad news. I uh... thought. (Beat) I thought maybe you'd want a muffin, on the house. To help ease the heartache.

GREG

Where's the muffin?

RALPH

Oh, right, I forgot to grab it.

RAPLH walks back to the counter.

ANNE

Why? He seems like a great guy.

CHANTELLE

He is. It's just that he's got this deaf cat. Every time I go over there. I'm trying to get the cats attention. Snapping my fingers. Making little kisses at it. But it just walks by. doesn't even look at me. I can't live with that. So it's better to just end it now.

The cafe door opens. ROBERT walks in his face bright red and so swollen you can't even see his eyes.

JOSH

Whoa, what happened to you.

ANNE

Looks like he got into the peanut butter again.

ANNE mimics swatting ROBERT with a newspaper.

ANNE

Bad boy. Bad

ROBERT

It was on the dentists hands. It's not my fault

GREG

I tried that same excuse last week. When I got fired for showing up drunk to work.

The cafe door opens again. Two men walk in. One old, short, and fat. The other young, tall, and lean. The men walk over to couch. the older one pulls out a notepad and pen.

BURT

Hello, my name is Burt. My associate here is Levi. We're here following up on reports of a fatal accident involving a piano. Were any of you witness to this event.

JOSH

Yeah, only all of us.

ANNE

We were all here when it happened. Saw the whole thing.

BURT

Excellent. Can you walk me through everything you saw?

GREG

Well, I saw this girl I like. And I went to go talk to her.

CHANTELLE

That's not how it happened. You went to go stalk her.

GREG

Okay fine, I went to go get on the same bus as her. So I could insert myself as a regular part of her life before making my move. Anyways, I opened the door. And as I was stepping out the piano fell from above.

BURT

Did you see who it fell on? Could it have been targeted?

GREG

Oh, no, it fell on me.

LEVI

I'm sorry, there must be some kind of mistake. I was told it was a fatal accident.

GREG

No mistake, it was fatal.

BURT

I don't understand.

ANNE

It's simple. It was all just a dream.

BURT

Ah, say no more.

LEVI

Excuse me a moment. I need to use the washroom.

INT. WASHROOM - DAY

LEVI is standing in front of a mirror talking to himself.

LEVI

Okay. None of this makes sense. If it was just a dream how are there witnesses. The man on the subway saw it. And each of them here say they saw it. Did it really happen but they just think it was a dream? If so, how is the one that got crushed here? He doesn't look like he's even got a bruise on him. Should I ask whose dream it was? Maybe they'll all realize it needs to be one persons dream specifically. And it makes no sense for them to all remember it. But what if that confuses Burt? Or if they get stuck in a loop? Would Burt get stuck in a loop too? Maybe I should discuss this with Germaine.

LEVI leaves the washroom. One of the stall doors open. RALPH walks out and begins washing his hands.

RALPH

What was he talking about?