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Broken Soul
Chapter 22.

Chapter 22.

Michael

Michael thought about what the man had said, I have to accept that what I know about light is applicable to my magic. How do I even do that? Light comes out from a source, like the sun, a fire, or the moon. It can be warm or cold. I have no idea what I am supposed to know about light that makes my mind go: no this is not magic, screw you!

His gaze was fixed on his tea as his mind raced. Magic is just the process of manipulation of an element or concept of existence so why would my mind separate my understanding from magic?

A hand moved into his view as the man grabbed the teapot to pour himself some more, Michael jumped a little, startled by the sudden motion, and knocked against his own cup spilling a little tea on the table. "Oh my god, I am sorry," he quickly said but the man waved him off. "It's nothing I will clean it up later, only a few drops."

Michael looked at the four drops on the table and frowned. Suddenly a picture flashed in his mind out of nowhere of two candles being lit and their light merging. He continued to stare at the drops, in the back of his mind he could feel something, a whisper that he couldn't understand. He tried to focus on it and another thought flew through his mind, two streams merging into a lake, its surface seemingly one.

His hand slowly moved to the drops, and he fell into a trance, not even sure if he was moving his own body or if he was only a spectator. A finger touched the spilled tea and moved the drop to another until they merged into one. His mind felt heavy now, everything but the liquids and his thoughts went unnoticed. His other hand moved sluggishly above the teacup, and he dipped his finger in ignoring the heat. He held his finger above the big drop of tea he had merged before and let the tea drop of his finger into it until it became a puddle.

Suddenly his mind was clear again and he jerked his head up to see the old man watching him with interest. "Light is like water!" He exclaimed and jumped up from his chair the man still watching him in silence. "Hundreds, thousands, maybe more little parts but if you put them together they look like one part like a-a a lake, it's made up out of an uncountable number of," he stopped for a moment, his mind running too fast to formulate coherent sentences if he wasn't careful, "drops, yes drops, and light is the same, it just seems like a sunbeam because we can't see the parts like in a river but unlike a river, we can't take out the drops to see them. So, I have to move the small parts and not just ..." - he moved his hands around without any meaning - "light."

He looked at the old man with excitement to see the reaction on his face, he smiled at him and said, "I neither have any idea if you are correct or how in the thirteen hells you even got there but try it." He sounded as excited to see as Michael, as the boy breathed deeply to try to get into a more focused state. It took him two whole minutes to even calm down enough that his thoughts didn't jump from subject to subject like a cat surrounded by mice.

He held up his hand, his eyes closed to reduce distractions. He would start with something easy, a circular light. Alright, take the small drops and fill them in, I need to make a circular form with my mind. His mind worked hard on imagining a round body and filling it with small parts of light like one would fill a flask with water drops.

He opened his eyes, spoke the words, and let his mana flow, "Orb of Light!"

With a flash a bright fist-sized orb flickered into existence and was reflected in Michael's eyes as he stared into it, not believing that he actually did it.

"I DID IT," he yelled jumping around, the spell disappearing with his lack of concentration. He could feel a sense of satisfaction flood into his awareness from a corner of his mind.

"You sure did, boy," the old man nodded in confirmation.

Michael imagined the look on Sola's face once he returned and he could show her his progress. He looked at the old man with an excited face and said, "What else do you know about magic that might help me? Please, I want to learn everything I can."

The man scratched his beard as he looked at Michael, "Well I did hope you would be happy after clearing up this obstacle, but it seems I will have to tire you out more."

Michael looked out a window, it was still the middle of the night, he got up from his chair and said, "Oh I am so sorry. I am keeping you from your sleep, I will leave so you can get some rest."

The old man waved him off and said, "Ah don't worry about that, I am not that old. Curiosity is one of the greatest virtues for a mage and who am I to deny a fledgling mage like you, the knowledge I hold."

Michael sat back down and looked at the man with gleaming eyes. The man rose from his chair and went over to the wall to take a cloth from it and threw it over to Michael, "But first clean up the mess you made."

Michael wiped off the table and the old man asked, "Why do you even want to learn magic in this world that hates them?" Michael stopped for a moment to think about the question and then answered, "I was pretty upset when I was told that I had a mana affinity and could be a mage. I only learned that those who had one became mages and were evil. Of course, now I know you can just decide not to become a mage but back then I was scared. Sister Sola, my teacher, explained to me that light mages and pure mana mages are not considered evil, so I had no reason not to learn it."

"That Sister Sola is a member of the order of purity", the old man asked him with a raised eyebrow.

Michael nodded with vigor.

The man sighed, "I am going to tell you something, boy. No mage is inherently evil, for a matter of fact I never met anyone who was inherently evil. I might not be able to explain why they are doing what they are doing but there is always a reason, and it was always a choice."

"But they are responsible for the death of the gods, if they didn't do what they did then the great cataclysm could have been avoided," Michael argued.

The man shook his head, "If a part of the knights of House Rowan would rebel, would you hold them all accountable, better yet would you hold those that have been born after the rebellion accountable who are born with talent and want to pursue it." Michael looked at the man and frowned as he continued, "Would you be responsible and evil if you had gotten a fire affinity and still wanted to become a mage, to not waste your gift?"

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"This is the reason why magic is not outlawed, except for darkness magic, as long as you don't break the law you can be a mage," Michael continued to disagree.

The man laughed with a dead voice, "That is what you think. Have you ever seen a mage that is not a light or anti-mage in service of the church?"

"Well, no," Michael said truthfully.

"Why do you think that is? They are certainly not that rare."

Michael had no answer so the man said, "Because they are hunted by the church, they follow them around until they find anything they can accuse them of. A wind mage pushes someone out of the way of a charging horse and is accused of attacking someone. A water mage extinguishes a burning house and is accused of having laid the fire to be a hero or collect a reward. It happens everywhere and no one cares because mages are evil. Not to mention that everyone that gains a darkness affinity is instantly burned at the stake as soon as they find out."

"I can't believe that!" Michael shook his head vehemently. "And the dark mages are the great betrayers, they convinced the others to betray the gods and are the worst of them all!"

"I am not talking about dark mages, boy. I talk about everyone that has an affinity with darkness mana," the man said with a sad expression. Michael stared at him when he realized what the man was saying. "Everyone with the affinity?" He nodded slowly, "It doesn't matter how old, being awoken with the darkness affinity is an instantaneous death sentence in the eyes of the church and their inquisitors will go about that business without mercy or remorse. I have seen it before."

Michael didn't know what to say, he just sat there in silence, mulling over the old man's words.

Michael said quietly, his gaze fixed on his teacup. "I don't know what to think about it, I can't ignore what I have been taught for the word of a stranger."

"Just remember what I said boy and you will understand one day," the man said.

"I-I better go," Michael said, with a stutter.

The man nodded while lost in thought as Michael left the house.

- Next morning -

Michael was up first as he never had gone to bed and sat at the table still lost in thought about what the old man had told him when their host Ignees entered the room. "Oh my, you are up early, my boy. Are you hungry?" She moved slowly through the room towards the food cabinets.

"I am an early bird," he said with a forced smile while she began to gather breakfast without waiting for his answer. Michael watched her for a while until she sat down at the table.

"You have a nice home," Michael tried to make small talk. The woman smiled at him, "Thank you, my dear, that is very kind of you to say. It does get very lonely in this big house from time to time I have to say though."

"The elder mentioned one of your sons becoming an adventurer," Michael remembered.

The woman nodded, "Yes, he left last year, saying that he wanted to become famous and rich and all that." Michael knew that adventurers didn't make much money if they didn't find anything special or worked as mercenaries as well but maybe with the rising mana levels and more dangerous monsters that would change, not a trade Michael wanted to make but something he couldn't stop even if he wanted.

"Why did he go? Were the times hard?"

"No no, we have been blessed the last years, we haven't had any famine, drought, or sickness for at least ten years at least. He just didn't want to live the life of a simple farmer as the rest of my sons do." The old lady smiled warmly not betraying any sadness at her son's choice.

They kept on talking for a while until the rest of his family joined them for breakfast.

"Michael, where did you go last night," Lord Rowan asked his son.

"Couldn't sleep, so I wandered around a bit." His father raised an eyebrow at his troubled expression but didn't address it, "Make sure you get some rest in the carriage."

Michael nodded but didn't feel like contributing to the lively conversation at the table.

They left shortly after, giving the old lady a generous amount of compensation, even against her complaints, and made their way back to the carriages. Michael quickly looked for Geron and Eydis, he found them with the horses, getting them ready for the day's journey.

Geron looked up from his saddle and said, "You look like you haven't closed one eye last night."

Michael grunted at that, "That's because I haven't."

"What's the problem, was the bed uncomfortable?" Geron raised his eyebrow while he asked that and Eydis looked at him with concern.

Michael stood quiet for a couple of moments, thinking if or how he should approach what was on his mind. The confusion and conflicting feelings were painted on Michael's face as he finally decided on the direct way and asked Geron, "Is it true that mages are followed, framed for arbitrary crimes, and arrested? Is it true that everyone who awakens the darkness affinity is burned at the stake, even children? Even if they never did anything wrong."

He didn't even need an answer Geron's expression instantly gave him the answer, was it shame or sadness? Geron fidgeted on his feet as Eydis and Michael watched him with growing horror.

"It is not illegal to be a mage in this kingdom," he said while shaking his head. "It is not even illegal to be a dark mage, much less to have a darkness affinity but the Inquisition does not share this sentiment. While the church officially also doesn't condemn all mages, they don't do anything to stop the Inquisition from hunting them down and are actively encouraging the hunt on darkness affinities unofficially. No one cares about the mages, and no one wants to upset the Inquisition or the church, so we just let them do it."

"So, it is true!" Michael said loudly, "Our people are being hunted in their own land without having committed any crime and we do nothing to protect them?"

"It is not that easy, Lord Michael. Standing against the church like that is not worth it for a couple of mages," Geron said, trying to calm Michael down. His words had the opposite effect as a cold fury began to rise in his chest. "I can't believe you," Michael yelled at him. "Have you forgotten your oath? Protect the weak, the ones that can't defend themselves? I would define people, that can't do anything to protect themselves or be branded a danger and burned, as the innocent and weak!"

Geron looked at him and at the head shaking Eydis as he began to get agitated as well and hissed, "What am I supposed to do in your opinion? Run out there and kill every inquisitor I can find? I have my own orders, your father's orders! Protecting a couple of mages would bring more suffering than it would solve. You need to grow up, not everyone can be saved!" He spat the last words out with so much pain and regret that Michael stopped a moment and stared at his knight.

Eydis didn't say anything and just watched the exchange with a more neutral expression.

Geron breathed in deeply and said, "I am sorry milord, I spoke outside of my rank and accept any punishment."

Michael was still stunned by the sudden outburst of the normally more reserved man, he had seen him become annoyed and agitated at times, and that time on the wall had heard his fury but this time was the first time he had faced it himself.

"I am sorry, Geron. It is not your fault how we treat our mages; I shouldn't have yelled at you. I am just so frustrated, I always hear that we are more civilized than others and the love of Idas, that we should stand together against evil but everywhere I look and everywhere I go, I only find injustice. I only find betrayal of exactly these virtues, why are we not following the way that is preached to be the best one, why is everyone so ... so, so evil?"

Before Geron could answer Michael’s world began to spin. He had used his mana continually to keep himself on his feet and the drain of that, the physical training, and his magic training had depleted his mana well.

“I don’t feel so good,” Michael said as he began to stagger. Geron was by his side immediately and Michael lost consciousness.