The further I walked in, the more at home I felt. It was like a lover’s embrace, strong but careful. But at the same time, there was more to it. Slightly different, it wasn’t letting go. Akin to an unwilling vice.
I was overwhelmed as I continued walking, the blood, the corpses, their smell or the feeling of the dried up blood on my body. None of it mattered. The crushing feeling of familiarity gripped my heart. It nudged me on, and on. And on…
Eventually there were no monsters to be seen, but the place began to come alive in a different way. Green luminance from crystal minerals illuminated the path forward, the air no longer felt damp, but refreshing instead. And that feeling? It stopped feeling overwhelming, yet my heart kept beating as if I was about to receive a present.
The cave spiraled downwards into the insides of the mountain that I was in, continuing to become less natural. The rocky walls smoothened themselves out with the descent, the rough but gradual slope began to take the form of stairs, as the steps carried on the more refined they became.
My heart was beating faster and faster as I reached the end, the stairs widened leading to a room. I could see a… door? I paused. Stairs? I mean, sure stairs like… Just as unnatural. The walls? Similar to chiseled brick with different patterns reminiscent of circuitry.
I turned to look at the door, but there was nothing. Darkness, the void, the abyss… I was… back? I was back in my cocoon? No. It wasn’t… It wasn’t a physical place? It… What the— I couldn’t complete my thoughts as I realized I had hands and a body. No, that was a given. I just— everything felt wrong?
I was back to the same feeling of being in an abyss, a neverending void. I even felt the disconnect to my body, but… It was abrupt, as if I had lost my senses briefly but they came back. Something was… wrong…
Ding!
[Ascension Status: In progress — Merge with the l̵o̸g̸i̵c̸ ̷u̶n̸i̸t̸ and gain its will…]
What was ‘will’ anyway? I had to merge with the… logic unit and acquire its will… Where, and how exactly? I was still in the void, except I could move, but it was weird. I could see my hands— Was there always light in the void? It wasn’t coming from anywhere in particular. I was standing on ground too, an invisible one, but ground nonetheless.
I mean? I looked down. My feet do seem to be touching something. Also why is my skin so… reddish-brown? Oh— The blood had dried up No wonder it felt so weird… It was as if I had a thin film adhered to my skin, slightly limiting the movements of it. Uncomfortable, and a bit gross...
I closed my eyes, there was something, it was tugging at me. I followed the direction I felt the tug from, turning my head, it felt familiar. It was that very same fuzzy feeling again. My eyes opened.
It was the same empty void, however… my heart stopped. I held my breath for a second, as my throat tried to gasp for air from the sudden change in my emotions.
S-Sister? I-It was a girl— long disheveled raven hair, a mess from crying, baggy eyes, from mourning my death, and chapped rosy lips, from calling my name till her throat ran dry. Her black eyes made contact with mine.
“Leah…” she meekly called. “You’re here,” she said. Her voice was soft as ever, and sweet as ever.
I was frozen. My sister, as she closed her eyes, seemed to take a deep breath in conflicting emotions. Until finally, she opened them, her demeanor changing in an instant, becoming one of… rage? She began frowning as she briskly made her way to me until finally, stopping before me. Her face, looking down at me.
“Do you know how long I waited?” she asked. I paused. All of my conflicting feelings coming back to me in an instant.
“I—” What could I say to her? “L—Sis…” I couldn’t call her name as if it was caught in my throat. Was it the guilt consuming me? I felt my eyes getting warmer as I scrunched them in discomfort. I was guilty of dying in front of her… And yet, I couldn't even call her name! I—
“I-I am sorry…” I choked the words out of my throat.
I had left her… Perhaps my memories were fragmented and brief. But… I looked at her through my blurry vision. She was quivering, her frown deepening. She was my family, the only thing I had— the only semblance of who I was that I had… Just the thought of causing pain to her… My nose started to itch from thinking about it. She was my… everything… Causing pain to her… It made me—
“W-Why did you die?” Her voice pierced into my chest. Why...
“I-I…” I felt as if my throat was being grabbed. “Do-do not… know…” Tears of guilt started to come out from my eyes. “S-Sis… I am… So sorry…”
I could feel my body quiver as I said it, my legs threatening to collapse under me. She looked at my eyes with uncertainty as her eyes grew wet, her mouth trembled in the same manner as back then. D-Don’t look at me like that… I began to sniffle. The same look as back then… I couldn’t bear it, I couldn’t stand it… And then her mouth opened.
“Weren’t you supposed to be my knight?” her voice came out deflated. I felt as if needles prickled at my skin as my entire body shook. I clamped my eyes shut with shaking fists. Why did things have to turn out like this? I was going to be that for her, and yet. It was hard to respond… truly hard. I was going to be something—someone to her… I—
“Y-Yes—” I sniffled, ”Y-yes… I was— supposed to—”
“Leah, you died on me…”
She interrupted with sadness. Her sorrowful tone echoed in my heart along with the following silence. I began shaking, it felt as if my insides were torn open with a scorching knife, an endless pit of guilt, I was burning. I was drowning, my throat convulsed as I attempted to reply to her. But like an endless ocean I couldn't form words, just gurgles of regret.
“I-AS-S—” No matter how hard I tried, to speak. “I— am…” All I could do was wail in my guilt. “I—
My shoulder was janked and my body pressed against her. I opened my teary eyes in surprise, barely managing to see her expression. It was ugly as her eyes cried.
“I am just glad I can see you again…” she whispered in an uneven voice. Eh? “Leah, I missed you. My— brother…” I felt… ever so slightly warm. The uneasiness in my stomach slowly fading. She had paused in uncertainty, but I understood. I probably looked completely different than before, and yet she was here for me...
She held me under her embrace, but I shook. “I left you alone, all I did was be a burden…” Truly… How could I look at her like that? I had to repent…
“It’s okay Leah… we are here together, no? The both of us…” I— both… We are here now… I died? I had died and left her alone to live. But she was here now... She— She died? I had— I killed her? I left her alone, but now she was here with me. With me... It was… my fault? I—
“Y-You died?” I barely managed to ask her. Her face flashed to one of surprise just slightly, before she closed her eyes. She wasn’t crying anymore, just resigned.
“I died as well…” a peaceful voice of resignation. She died as well. She had died and didn’t get to live her life, she didn’t get to be happy… I— the way she missed me. How everything— the everything that happened.
I felt it stir inside of me, a heat in my chest. It wasn’t painful, it was annoying, primal, destructive. I had killed her— No, she had to live the rest of her life with her burden, all she could do is think about me, that’s why she is still talking to me like this… And here she was, looking at me with those eyes— giving me affection— telling me how she missed me— recalling who I was to her— she didn’t get to live— she hadn’t moved on— it was all my fault— I was disgusting— filthy— THE ABSOLUTE WORST. Even after countless years, all she could think of was me!
This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.
Enraged with myself I pushed her away.
“I can’t. I cannot let you… hug me.” My voice was slightly shrill as I tried to simply not break. How could she hug someone as disgusting as me!? It wasn’t fair… for her… She had to move on. Move away from me, far far away. To a place where she could just... forget.
“Leah… are you okay?” she paused as she started to shake. “I-I am here now, for you…”
“You cannot be… here for me…” How to say it? How to break it to her? “It’s my fault that you died, it’s my fault that you are here. It’s my fault that you—” I looked at her as tears unbridledly trickled down the floor. “My fault that you died!”
“Eh?” She froze in confusion. “Leah, I missed you… so much. I am just glad I get to see you again…”
Her words made me even more angry. Seeing me again? Why? Why would she want to see me again!? I was fucking dead to her! She should've forgotten yet, she was here. Right here, in front of me. Standing!
Gnashing my lip till it bled. I opened my mouth. “Sis, you should— move on… you didn’t have to…” My voice grew faint at the end, feeling guilt creep up on me. You didn’t have to accompany me even in death… She didn't have to continue being nice to me. But it made me slightly happy.
“Leah I—” She paused, raising her trembling arm she touched her face with surprise. Eh? I squinted my eyes. Her skin was… cra-cracking? Her expression was one of shock as some tears flowed down her cheeks.
“L-Leah I don’t have much time…” My heart threatened to explode as I heard those words. “I am not like you— I don’t have the time…” S-Sis?! I rushed up to her in a panic. Standing before her, my heart beating as if my life depended on it. What could I do for her?! Shit! Shit!
Her body seemed to grow weaker by the second as her legs gave way and began to… disintegrate. I— those were her last moments, and I? I pushed her away… I—
“Leah,” she spoke interrupting me. She looked up to me, and smiled weakly. “I am sorry I cannot be with you any longer… I do not understand your anger or despair… sorry…” Sis? Yo- you didn't have to understand me! I am sorry! Sorry for getting angry! I opened my mouth, but she spoke first.
“I have something to ask of you.”
“A-Anything!” I stuttered as I met her gaze. I had to at least behave.
“Good, you truly are a lifesaver.” She nodded with a satisfied smile, a broken one that came from pain and tears… “I have a present for you. And it’s also my last request.”
She raised her hand, as she handed something to me. It was heavy, and almost as big as my hand. I looked at it, it was orange, one that flickered in different patterns as the light of the void struck it. It was shiny, almost crystalline like glass.
“Sis. W-What is this?” Why was she giving me this? She was going to die! And yet—
“It’s your favorite candy, don’t you remember?” She said with a joyous smile that made me feel pain. “Eat it… I want you to eat it before I… vanish for eternity… Leah… please, it's my last wish...” Her voice was desperate. It was her dying wish. Her last request.
I swallowed my saliva. If it was for her. If it made my sister happy. Then… no matter how weird the request was… just for her final moments— if it made her happy then it was all worth it. I raised the candy to my mouth as I smiled at her, or so I tried as my face trembled with a mixture of emotions. She smiled back in return, her smile was deep, one of pure satisfaction. I held the candy with my index and thumb as I raised it high. I had to make sure she saw it. That she saw me eat it, so that I could make her happy in her final moments.
I opened my mouth wide to put it in. Her smile seemed to deepen— Ah… Sister, I am glad—
Ding! I paused hearing the familiar sound.
[Your computing unit ‘awakens’]
She is not your sister.
A voice said in my mind, making me stop in my tracks. It came from nowhere, and everywhere.
Your sister is not here. She was never here. And likely never will be here.
The voice… No— It was wrong, she was my sister! She knew who I was!
If she were your sister. You would’ve been calling her ‘Lilly’ all this time. The entire time. All of it; is false. She only knows what you know about your sister. Do not eat the ‘candy’ for surely, you will forget who you are. Never to see the real Lilly again. And you, Leah? You will die in the pits of eternity to be replaced by a different logic unit.
[Your computing unit enters ‘slumber’]
Why hadn’t I called her Lilly? The candy slipped from my hand. The ascension... The logic unit... The void...
“L-LEAH, THE CANDY!” She screamed as the orange ball hit the ground.
Crack! The ground of the void began to shatter in a myriad of vicissitudes, the candy’s unblemished orange body quickly began to grow cracks akin to spider-webs throughout its whole body. What had happened?
“W-Why?” She asked in a broken voice.
I… Why? Why did I listen to that voice? I looked at her, she seemed empty as tears continued to flow out of her eyes.
“W-Why did you not eat me…” Eh. Eat… you… Sis? What did she mean?—No surely she had more candy, I just had to ask for it! To make it up to her! Just one more attempt! That's all it took!
“Si—
Her body began to fall apart into clumps of dust. That's all it took... one... more...
“Leah, you have… betrayed me…” Her disappointed and sad tone ripped my heart apart. It was just... hollow... devoid of whatever pleasant emotions she had for me. She didn't smile.
Soon, she was gone. Soon, it was all gone. Just me and the void… Betrayal… She had just disappeared. Not smiling a final time, just torn apart by my doubt. I... What had I done.
There was a brief silence of breathing before, it all hit me like a sledgehammer.
I felt a headache coming as I clawed at my head. WHy did I have to do this!? Why— WHy did I listen?! I killed her! I fucking killed her! I fucking betrayed her!
The webs on the ground of the void spread like wildfire growing by the second and multiplying, until finally. It all fell apart. My home, shattered. I had… nothing. I was a nobody, I didn't even have family anymore, for I had killed her. I had also destroyed the void.
I collapsed on my knees, looking at the rocky ceiling. The familiar green hue of the minerals was there for me. In the end, I couldn’t even accomplish one last thing for her. In the end, I couldn’t make her smile one last time. In the end…
I was useless…
Ding!
[You have killed: l̵o̸g̸i̵c̸ ̷u̶n̸i̸t̸ lvl: ‘unknown’.]
Ding!
[Ascension status: Critical failure — l̵o̸g̸i̵c̸ ̷u̶n̸i̸t̸ has died — Unable to ascend.]
Ding!
[Your will ‘Leah’ continues. The will of l̵o̸g̸i̵c̸ ̷u̶n̸i̸t̸ fades. Your path to a normal ascension has been broken — Your logic unit ‘Leah’ and computing unit are now bound.]
Ding!
[Title acquired: Fate breaker — You have destroyed a sacred ritual cutting your path to ascension short, never to ascend to becoming a full core, you’re incomplete. Or are you? +150% to all stats, level gain reduced by 50%, +3 to all stats when surviving a life or death situation.
“Once pushed to the edge enough, you will move the world through your will. Mark my words, even if you don’t, I will.” — From “Error code: PRE-DATED.” Era of b̶e̵g̴i̷n̸n̴i̸n̷g̶]
Ding!
[Due to the death of your ally — l̵o̸g̸i̵c̸ ̷u̶n̸i̸t̸ you have acquired half of their total kill counts and experience.]
Ding!
[Monster Slayer — You have killed more monsters at once than what you have in your entire life! — +200% Damage against monsters
“Fallen from predator to prey. I will dismantle your very world, rip it apart, and tear it open. I will consume it whole. Soon, you will be nothing…” — Akhr, the Primordial Blood to an Unnamed Dungeon.]
Ding!
[You have increased your level by 10 after a bitter battle, granting +20 to all stats]
I paused as it all came to me. The notifications, the screams, the void. It was all real… Everything that happened— the fake Lilly, this was another world— will. My will… The logic unit’s will; Lilly. Forgetting who I am… Was all of this real? Was anything fucking real?! What was the point of this?! Why?! WHY?! Real?
—NO, it was simply a nightmare…
I began laughing as I collapsed on my back. A cruel joke. A truly cruel one. My laughs soon turned into sobs as my voice dried turning into a shrill howl.
What did I do to deserve this? No—I deserved all of it. I laughed in between crying as my mind faded into obscurity from tiredness.
Death?
I killed her?
It didn’t matter anymore…
Nothing really mattered anymore…
New world?
Dream?
It hardly mattered.