I violently shook my head, and the message slowly faded from my periphery.

The wind whistled behind me. Something shuffled to the front. Debris still shifted and fell around my feet. This vivid dream just wasn’t giving up. First, it was in vivid Wes Anderson colors. Then there was the smell. It was real! Like I had been dusting in a tomb, the stench of soil was all around, as well as something like rot. No. Putrid. There was putrid rot here.

One shuffling step. Then another. At least my legs were under me and working again. My foot contacted something hard. Glancing down, I found a piece of bleached wood. I kicked it aside and recoiled. Nope! Not wood. That was a human jawbone complete with a few rotted teeth hanging on for dear life.

A figure rose in the near distance. He was completely rotten. Strips of clothing hung from his emaciated body. Sinew and bone shone in full, gory detail.

"You okay, bud?"

My eyes were as wide as you can imagine. Shaking my head and blinking my eyes didn’t make this situation any better. The walking skeleton held a rusty mace. Its eyes glowed yellow, and the damn thing had them fixed on me.

Casting about, my eyes roved over the three large items I’d spotted earlier. A spear, sword, and battleax. All of them were in terrible shape. The three weapons were in such awful shape they looked like they would have been discarded at an antique store.

"Long and pointy. I like those odds," I muttered as I picked up the wooden spear. In games, spears usually have good reach. Let's see if that applies here, I mused, hefting the wooden spear. I wondered if there was a way to check my inventory.

The skeleton kept shuffling closer, its mace raised high. I took two steps back and readied myself. The skeleton lunged forward, swinging its mace wildly. I ducked out of the way and jabbed at it with my spear. It stumbled backward but recovered quickly, raising its weapon once again. This time, I was ready for it; I dodged the blow and thrust my spear forward, aiming for its gut. The point made contact. I ripped it upward and struck the skeleton's jaw, sending it flying, proving that an errant jawbone was apparently normal here.

The skeleton collapsed in a heap of bones and lay motionless on the ground. "Hah! Take that, you walking calcium deposit!" I cheered myself, then paused. "Wait, if this is really like a game, I should have gained some XP or something from that. Maybe even a skill? Level one stuff always comes fast."

A trail of small coins escaped the corpse and rushed toward me. Before I could duck or roll out of the way, the coins struck my chest with a soundless and painless impact. My display changed.

A bell sounded over me. Or below me. It was genuinely weird that the noise resonated all around me.

> SYSTEM MESSAGE: New achievement - First kill. They tried to draw first blood, but you were faster. In time, I’m sure a mountain of dead will lay at your feet. Reward: How does an extra 50 pennies sound? Use them to level up or save them for the gift store.

>

> YOU HAVE ACQUIRED: 25 rusted pennies!

"Sweet, loot drop! Even if it's just rusty pennies. Now, where's my inventory screen? I need to see my sick gains! Well, if this is a game, there's had to be a way to level up and get stronger. God. This was the weirdest dream I'd ever had. A dream where dirt tastes like dirt, and Liam talks to himself a lot. Stop it!"

I laughed and then returned my attention to my lucid new reality.

My surroundings were so vivid, from the crumbling ruins to the eerie, fog-shrouded landscape to the yellow and orange glow opposite me. The air was heavy with the smell of death and decay and an undercurrent of sulfur, making me feel like I had stumbled into a post-apocalyptic world.

The land seemed to stretch on for eternity. Everywhere I looked, there were crumbling castles and towers, their walls eroded by time and neglect. The ground shifted beneath my feet everywhere I stepped, giving me the sensation of walking on sand instead of solid rock.

The sky was ominous, filled with an oppressive blanket of clouds that blocked out what little light remained. This place felt like it had sucked the life out of everything, and the air was thick with the smell of decay and death. All in all, it was a thoroughly depressing sight.

"Thou hast survived." A weird voice boomed around me. "Press on. Your death awaits."

"Hey, asshole. Are you the system message guy? If not, can you give him a message from me? Eat me!" I yelled.

> SYSTEM MESSAGE: Your adventure begins! Spoiler: The treasure at this level is the friends we made along the way. Just kidding, it's a rusty weapon. You’re in the tutorial level, but it’s one of those learn-as-you-go situations. So go on and kill stuff. You know you love it.

The spear wasn’t really doing it for me. It was too long and hard to maneuver. Leaning over, I picked up the sword. It was heavy and rusty. The blade was short and ended in a triangular tip like a Roman sword. At least it looked sharp and could probably deal someone a painful chest wound. I picked up the ax in my off-hand and tested it. The weapon had a double head, and the blade, like the sword, had some rust. Both felt good in my hands. Not gonna lie. If I was going to figure out what was happening, I might as well do it while well-armed.

Holding a weapon in each hand, I looked up. "Happy now, you benevolent fuck?"

I kinda felt like a badass, but the items were heavy. I should bring all the weapons, but how was I supposed to carry them?

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

I’m not exactly a big guy, but I hit the gym a few days a week. I’m an inch short of six feet, and I have thick legs. Comes from the Irish side of the family, or so my dad used to say when he made me mow the lawn. I’m okay at cardio and do a few weight machines mainly to look cool. I don’t think it would have mattered what shape my body was in. The sword and ax were damn heavy.

An old path led away. The pockmarks were deep, and the edges were surrounded by tall, brown dead grass.

Movement again. A fresh corpse rose, and it wasn’t alone.

Three skeletal creatures now stared at me. They had swords and shields, and they somehow snarled and growled. The one on the right was missing half of his skull, but I felt like the son of a bitch was leering at me.

"Okay, think Liam. In games, skeletons are usually weak to bludgeoning weapons. But I've got a sword and an ax. Maybe if I use the ax like a hammer?" I muttered, adjusting my grip on the weapon.

I attacked first, aiming for the one on the left. He took my sword's blow across his shield. It bounced away, and I swung hard with the ax. Made contact and sheared the thing's arm holding the shield clean off. It flew into a heap, and the skeleton stumbled back, then collapsed into a pile of ash.

The second creature was more aggressive, but I dodged its swing and thrust my sword forward. The blade sank deep into the creature's chest, and it crumbled to the ground in a pile of bones.

> SYSTEM MESSAGE: Well, that escalated quickly! You went from zero to hero… to zero again because it's just a Level One Baddie. But hey, nice kill!

>

> YOU HAVE ACQUIRED 50 pennies!

The third had been hanging back. Now leering, he quickly shuffled toward me with his sword raised. I backed up, then brought the sword up and around in a wide arc. It connected right on target, slicing through the creature's rib cage. It fell back, and I followed up with a powerful thrust from the ax that sent it skidding across the ground in pieces.

> SYSTEM MESSAGE: That makes four. You've officially lost your 'Harmless Bystander' status. Welcome to the 'Mildly Threatening' club! It would be even cooler if you were equipped with an actual club.

>

> YOU HAVE ACQUIRED: 25 pennies!

"Come on, man, I should get a level up!" I grinned. "And maybe some stat points to allocate? Or a perk or skill? A guy can dream, right?"

Leaning over, panting, I tried to catch my breath. I'd done it. Felled a total of four of these things, and I barely had a scratch.

"Hey, system message guy. How about you tell me what the hell is going on here? And why are you so damn snarky? And while you're at it, can you point me toward the nearest exit? K K. Thanks."

The letters from the last message refused to leave the corner of my eye. When I focused on them, the words and numbers came into sharp focus. I’d worn an Oculus Quest a few times, but this was nothing like that. In VR, the world is always too colorful and fake, for lack of a better word. This place was all too real. I kicked the ground and a puff of dust rose.

Something was behind me. I spun and shuddered in disgust as a blade sliced through me.

Yet another leering skeleton had appeared and gotten too close, and my adrenaline hadn't even registered the cut. I’d taken a deep wound across my right upper arm. Blood leaked from the burning gash.

"Ow! Asshole!"

Then the pain set in and this was suddenly all too real. Christ! That cut really stung!

I kicked it in the knee and sent it reeling. A quick sword slash separated head from clavicle. The skeleton dropped and fell into bone shards and dust.

> YOU HAVE ACQUIRED: 25 pennies!

"Onward, the hero must quest. Your goal lies a few quick strides away." The mysterious booming voice reverberated around me and made my hair stand up on end.

I’d only been at this for a few minutes, but despite my hours in the gym, my other passion was rearing its head. I liked few things more in the world than coffee and donuts. It didn’t even have to be in the morning. I’d eat those things at midnight, given the chance. And coffee? That was my lifeblood. It flowed through my veins, which was a problem right now. Arms dragging, legs heavy, I needed a gallon or three to pick me up.

My body felt the effects of swinging a heavy weapon not to mention the bleeding wound that throbbed in pain.

Casting around, I spotted a wooden shield next to the body of a creature I’d already dispatched. I picked it up. It felt heavy in my hand, but there was a strap with a hand grip, so I slipped it on my left forearm.

"Yo. Dickless. You there?" I called out hesitantly, my voice echoing through the remains of the structure. The silence that followed was deafening.

"Where’d ya go?" I tried again, my voice cracking with fear. This time, a low growl answered me. I froze, heart pounding in my chest as a monstrous shadow emerged from the gloom.

> SYSTEM MESSAGE: You must be brave because you’re standing around with a dangling sword in your hand. Looks like a sure way to get some body parts lopped off. But you do you.

Before I could gawk at the message, the voice echoed around me, and this time, it sounded pissed.

"Who dares enter my domain?" A creature snarled, its crimson eyes boring into me like twin flames. It was the same taunting voice from earlier.

This skeleton was twice the size of the foes I’d already faced. It wore a long ochre robe with frayed ends that fluttered around its body as it swayed before me. The thing’s hands were long-fingered, skeletal, and had what looked like long, thin daggers for fingernails.

"Uh, Liam Beaumont?" I stammered, trying to muster some semblance of courage. "I'm just… looking for a way out. Or the way back to the real world. Not this fever dream."

"Your insolence will cost you dearly!" It roared and lunged at me with terrifying speed.

"Insolence? That's kind of a dick thing to say!" I dove out of the way just in time, narrowly avoiding its razor-sharp talons. Adrenaline coursed through my veins as I scrambled to my feet, desperately searching for an escape route. "What is wrong with you?"

It slashed again with a snarl.

"Nice kitty?" I offered weakly, backing away from the advancing beast. In response, it let out a guttural growl, baring its fangs in a sinister grin.

Dropping the sword and letting the shield slide to the ground, I quickly picked up the ax and held it in two hands. I pulled it over my head and then flung it with every ounce of strength I had. It flew end over end and smashed into the creature’s shoulder, spinning it around.

"Arrgh!" It howled in pain, recoiling from the unexpected assault. Seizing the opportunity, I did the only smart thing I could think of. I turned and ran as fast as my legs could take me.

Feet pounded behind me, but I dared not look over my shoulder.

Back near the place I’d awoken, I cast about and located the spear. Picking it up in both hands, I turned, dropped to a squat, and planted the butt against the ground. Ten or fifteen years ago, I had watched a movie with my dad called The Edge. Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin had been these two insufferable rich assholes that hated each other because one was boinking the other’s wife. The coolest part of the movie was when they had killed a bear with a spear using this technique. How hard could it be?

All I needed was for the monster to fall on the tip and slide along it until the end burst out of its back. That’s right. I was going caveman on this thing.

It didn’t. It SOOOO didn’t. Instead, it batted the spear point aside like it was an annoying toothpick. The other hand came around, claws gleaming, and literally ripped me in half.

> SYSTEM MESSAGE: New achievement. You’re fucking dead!