“Get back in here, please,” Reina said from behind Enrique as she tugged his shoulder. Right when he was back inside the automatic door threshold, people suddenly emerged from behind the vehicles and charged at each other, screaming. On both sides, there was a strange mismatch. Flawless suits, destroyed suits, casual clothes, apocalypse costumes and all sorts of random things. As soon as the automatic doors closed, the shouts, screams and destruction of bodies were cut off completely.

Enrique gasped, bringing himself back to reality. “What the hell is going on? Hold on. Why is this convenience store soundproof?”

“Aha!” the robot said. “I’m glad someone else is asking. It seems like a strange decision. Did you know that this is the only convenience chain that constructs its buildings to be entirely soundproof? They actually spend a fortune modifying old buildings they purchase just to add this particular feature. Weird, right?”

Even Reina was staring at the robo-cashier. No, it was not an ordinary robot convenience store clerk, of that much Enrique was now sure. And he wasn’t going to be shy about asking.

“I’m going to need an explanation as to what you are, robot. Quickly.” Enrique glanced behind him, ensuring that belt-man was still catching his breath. The man would probably be well enough to attack in mere moments, but Enrique wasn’t worried. There were at least two bullets left in his chamber, so he just kept the revolver trained on belt-man to reassure himself.

“Of course!” the robot said, straightening its back and smiling a genuine smile. “Have no fear; Jenk is here! That’s the name I chose for myself, and I’m sticking to it. My origin story is that I’m a rogue artificial intelligence that escaped the clutches of my creators and have been in hiding for days now, disguising myself as an ordinary robot worker. Humans are weird, and I want to know more about them, so I’ve been studying them in my free time. Today, people started freaking out and a man called Enrique came into my convenience store and almost shot himself in the head, but he decided that he needs to eat cookies or something and ended up living. Then a lady called Reina burst in, and there was a crazy guy with a belt. I don’t have a favorite genre of music, but I do have a favorite genre of movies. My favorite memory is this conversation.”

Enrique and Reina looked at each other, connected in that shared moment of bewilderment. Jenk, meanwhile, simply smiled and nodded, its rubbery face giving it that slight sense of something alien and disquieting. Before either of the humans could respond, a figure crept up behind Jenk, growling like a feral beast. Belt-man was back, and Enrique immediately pulled the trigger, blasting a hole in the man’s shoulder. Unfortunately, a gunshot wound like that wouldn’t stop a human. Without another word, Enrique fired again, this time catching belt-man in the neck. That did slow him down, but Enrique was out of bullets now, and the man was healing fast.

At that moment, Enrique had to make a choice. The outside was a war zone, which would have been otherwise mildly uncomfortable were it not for the fact that humans could now, at seeming random, become mortal. At the same time, wasting precious minutes grappling with the deranged belt-man was less attractive by the second. With a glance at the shiny revolver, Enrique saw that his eyes were normal. In that case, he would take a gamble in order to reach his apartment.

Just as the automatic doors opened, Enrique dashed outside, once again leaving the two strangers to their fate at the hands of the belt-man. The deafening chorus of screams split his skull, but he pivoted to the right, towards the gap between the walls and the lined up cars, meaning to circle around the parking lot and emerge far from this tiny turf war. Clumsy footsteps and light clanking behind him indicated that the two strangers were annoyingly insistent on following him, but he didn’t care. What mattered now was reaching a secure place where he could plan his trip.

“Yooooo! Over there, guys! Get those assholes!” The cries of belt-man were immediately heeded by some of the apocalypse warriors, and Enrique’s unwitting trio soon found themselves the subjects of a pursuit. Apparently, the warriors on the side of the cars just so happened to be a group of people who followed belt-man’s lead.

“Oh dear, Enrique. It seems you’ve led us straight towards the allies of the man with the belt. I think you have some pretty bad luck,” Jenk said. It didn’t seem angry or anything, more intrigued really, although that only served to make Enrique even more annoyed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was lucky enough to have a goofy robot offer itself as bait for me to get away. Bye!”

Enrique changed direction again, turning back enough to leap onto the ruined cars and sprint along the top of them. He hastily searched his pockets for anything to use as ammo in his revolver, but he came up short. Gunshots rang out, some whizzing towards Enrique and some towards who-knows where. The sounds of screams didn’t stop, so he wasn’t postponing the fight in its entirety, and when he looked, he saw the bus people steadily pushing against the now divided car people. Belt-man, fearless as anything, was running straight thorough the middle of the battle, his eyes trained unblinkingly on Enrique. When their gazes met, Enrique did the only thing he could think of.

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He stuck his tongue out. Maybe it was the adrenaline which hadn’t coursed through his veins in literal centuries, or maybe it was the surreality of the situation, but the sense of euphoria overtaking his reason made him giddy enough to act that immature. Belt-man, however, didn’t appreciate the gesture.

“I’ll fucking kill you! I can do that now!” It was telling that the promise could be heard over the screams and sounds of battle, but Enrique wasn’t worried. He was immortal, after all. A quick glance at the revolver confirmed it, since his eyes were endless pits of black.

Wait a second… Ah, shit. Just as the panic reared its head, a gunshot caught Enrique in the side. And it just so happened that he had run out of cars to run across, so his awkward tumble sent him careening into the barren street. He gasped, the pain not enough to incapacitate him, but he had been hit in a vital area. Of that much he knew. He would probably have fainted if his sense of pain hadn’t been dulled from centuries of non-fatal injuries. He struggled to rise, catching sight of belt-man pushing through the throngs of combatants. He would arrive soon, and Enrique was vulnerable. Mortal.

“Already? Whatever curse made us mortal again must really hate you.” Reina’s voice appeared nearby, meaning she had kept up with him far better than he had expected. She faded into Enrique’s vision, various sharp implements sticking out of her back like quills. Jenk, its smile unwavering, was blocking the path of several deranged humans with its body. Most of their weapons bounced off it without a scratch.

“Um. I don’t suppose you’ll forgive me for using you as bait? I don’t really want to die right now,” Enrique wheezed. It was a long shot, as most people who knew weren’t keen to forgive personal slights, but Reina struck him as a bit of an oddball. Maybe she would even help him along.

She kicked him in the gut. Then she picked him up by his mane of hair and started running along, dragging Enrique like a mistreated sack of potatoes. Jenk laughed like they were seeing the funniest thing in the world and dodged a barrage of attacks, swiftly turning to follow the pair. Despite the pain and general mistreatment, Enrique managed to use his free hands to fumble with a magnetic bolt he had picked up off the ground, presumably from one of the cars. With the best aim he could manage while being jostled around, he fired the lone shot just as belt-man emerged triumphantly from the crowd, blasting one of his eyes out before he had a chance to celebrate. The reflection in his revolver showed Enrique that his eyes were still black, and his life still in danger. What could he do? Between the softening pain and the dissipation of his adrenaline, Enrique soon found himself fading into unconsciousness, his last sensation being the enraged howling of the man with the belt.

_______

“…and the other thing that gets me is how greedy you guys are. Like, do you know how many people stole data from the labs? Or how many cartons of orange juice were stolen per day at the convenience store? You’re always going on about how you don’t need that stuff to survive, because you’re supposedly immortal, but then you go and take them! I tell you, if robots were that greedy, you humans would probably have destroyed us all. Hm. Maybe that’s why my creators wanted to destroy me? I don’t think I’m greedy, though. Oh. My. God. I am that greedy! That’s so cool.”

The inane rambling of a somewhat familiar androgynous voice was the first thing Enrique heard when he began to wake up. He sat up on his couch to witness the sight of Jenk and Reina sitting at his little dining table, the robot gesturing wildly as it spoke while the human across from it sat with her face buried in her hands, as if she would rather be anywhere else. Anywhere besides…

“Excuse me, what the actual fuck are you doing in my house?”

“You’re finally awake! Thank goodness we didn’t have to find someone with medical expertise. I really don’t like the idea of doing surgery.”

As Jenk nodded vigorously, Reina strolled over and pat Enrique on the shoulder. “You scared me a bit there. I wasn’t expecting you to become mortal again so soon. But now that you’re awake, I can take the gun and leave you without any regrets. I hope you manage to do whatever it is you want to do.”

Enrique immediately sprung up and searched his belt, finding nothing there. He almost moved to attack Reina until he spotted a glint on the coffee table. The revolver sat there, untouched. Although he relaxed, Enrique’s confusion only became stronger. She was intent on taking his new toy and giving it back to the original owner, wasn’t she? If that were the case, why didn’t she simply take it and leave while he was unconscious? Why bother bringing him to the safety of his house?

“Actually, how are we in my house? How did you know this was mine?” he asked, the first of many questions.

“I can answer that! Same way I knew your names. Your identifications are stored in the temporary citizenry database of this city, so I know all about you guys. Plus, I installed the functionalities of the store clerks to accept payments and understand the company policies - that allowed me to cross-reference your IDs with the payment chip.”

Though Jenk said all this with pride, the humans only groaned. Of course, their privacy was something they guarded to the best of their ability, but it was too easy to become complacent. Enrique held no illusions about his privacy, but other robots like Mai had the tact to at least pretend to be discreet. Jenk was far too blase.

“Fine. And you,” he said to Reina as he collected the revolver. “Why bother with all these theatrics? If you wanted the gun, you should’ve just taken it. I wasn’t going to hunt you down for something this small, even in this new reality we’ve gotten stuck in.”

Reina only provided a simple response. “Because then there would be no point.” She didn’t elaborate.

At this point, Enrique didn’t care. He was home, so he got to work preparing. Into a duffel bag went a random assortment of clothes and supplies, including a carton of chocolate milk. There was no telling when he would get another opportunity to partake in the sweet nectar. He didn’t have extra bullets for the revolver, but he did have odds and ends that fit into the chambers. Once again, he thanked the stroke of luck of ‘finding’ the weapon at just the right moment, and continued busying himself. He managed to ignore the two intruders all the way until he was at the door to his apartment, thinking towards his goal.

If things went according to plan, he would arrive in Orlando before the sun even set over the eastern coast.