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Braindead - A Zombie LitRPG
11 - Skulls and Bones (Rewrite)

11 - Skulls and Bones (Rewrite)

Our dream quest took us to a generic-looking temple that appeared to go on forever. It was made of a flawless white stone without a single blemish. The stone itself glowed, and despite the lack of any torches, the temple was well lit. The main room was rectangular, with countless little alcoves. A flag draped across the entrance of each alcove, and every flag had a unique design with a variety of embroidered icons.

I asked Pecs to pick me up, and to my surprise, actual words came out of my mouth instead of an echoing mental voice. My amazement only grew when I looked at the floor and realised I was floating in the air. I didn’t need the big zombie to carry me at all!

If all dreams felt like this, I could see why so many mortals wasted half their lives lying down. I would have to find more mushrooms afterwards. It was tempting to forget about the mission and play with my new abilities, but I owed it to the clan to stay focused. I had such amazing focus that I only spent minutes echoing swear words into the vast temple chamber.

No-one reacted to the noise, so I assumed Pecs and I were alone. My lumbering bodyguard gave no sign my temporary departure had bothered him. Of all my council he was the one with the least tangible personality. Even Abs displayed a boisterous tendency and love of violence, which was why I chose her to be the warchief.

To be honest, I only appointed Pecs as my [Shaman] because he was already in my party. The other titles were easy to hand out because each had an obvious candidate. However, when I got to appointing the [Shaman] there were no good choices; I didn’t have anyone who specialised in wisdom. The only zombie that came to mind was the screamer, and I had lost track of it when we entered the cave.

For now at least, Pecs was my shaman. I couldn’t exactly replace him right in the middle of a dream quest.

“So, what now Pecs?” I asked.

“Follow blue light.” He said. I couldn’t see any light, but I assumed it was the same thing that led him to the colourful mushrooms. My question must have been the nudge he needed to get moving, because once he finished talking, he moved to the first alcove on the left.

The opening to the alcove was covered with a flag draped across it. The flag showed a blocky yellow sun embroidered over a white background. Pecs came to a stop outside and a blue box appeared above it. Unlike most system boxes this one physically manifested in front of us. The same thing had happened with Hans’ fruit knife event.

Event: You have discovered a shrine to Atol. Do you wish to approach the altar?

Yes (Unavailable to evil creatures)

Gain access to the shrine.

No

Nothing happens.

As the box made clear, I wasn’t welcome in the alcove. That didn’t stop me from trying to poke my head in just to see what was inside, but the drape was as unyielding as solid stone. “Fine, sun god is lame anyway.” I grumbled.

Believe it or not, but I didn’t go into this dream quest entirely unprepared. Choosing a god to worship was like betting on a horse, except in this race I was strapped to it. If the horse did well, I would do well, but if it broke a leg… it wouldn’t end well for either of us.

When Cordelia joined Pecs and I on our search for mushrooms we had a long and frustrating conversation about religion. It was what pushed me to join Pecs on his dream quest. Cordelia was a devout follower of Minassa and wasted no time advising me to set one of the gods of her pantheon as our patron deity. The ancient Tykosian pantheon was large, with many gods to worship. However, most of them were no longer active players in the mortal world.

Tykosia died not long after Cordelia herself, and the successor state that came out on top prayed to a different god. That same god just rejected me for being too evil. Cordelia had warned me off trying to worship Atol. He was a powerful god that had arisen from the lizardfolk in the desert before that region fell to the blight. From those humble origins, he became the dominant god on the face of Mithras. Perhaps that was why his alcove was the first on the path through the temple.

After a moment of staring blankly at the floating box, Pecs picked his feet back up and walked to the next alcove. The flag at the entrance depicted an insect like creature I was unfamiliar with, but the floating box that appeared once again told us we couldn’t enter. It informed us that Tzzkcht only accepted worship from a race of insectoids called [Formants].

We had to walk past another two alcoves before we found one that would permit us entry. The flag marking it showed a skull encircled by a snake biting its own tail. The box that appeared labelled this god as Nadari.

Event: You have discovered a shrine of Nadari. Do you wish to approach the altar?

Yes

Gain access to the shrine.

No

Nothing happens.

Going inside didn’t seem to commit me to anything, so I saw no reason not to take a look. Nadari wasn’t a god I knew anything about, but I was relatively sure that I had heard Voulos say the name once or twice. I was getting definite death god vibes from the alcove, even if I didn’t know much about them.

Cordelia had been evasive when I asked her about gods outside her favoured pantheon and had flat out refused to tell me anything about any gods she considered evil. I questioned her about any god of the undead, or of zombies specifically. She laughed at the idea of a god of zombies,

My ignorance meant that I didn’t know what to expect as I entered the dark shrine. Despite that, the interior was more or less exactly what I had assumed it would be like. It was like Nadari had a checklist of every stereotype imaginable and had gone down one by one, ticking them off. There was an altar made of skulls, a fountain of blood, and torches of green flames hung from the walls. The heavy iron tang of blood clung to the air, and a slow heartbeat reverberated through the room over a chorus of tortured moans.

The room was bigger than I had expected, and it took a few heartbeats for me to reach the altar. I was optimistic as we approached. There was even a small chance this god would let me take a blood bath before we left.

After a few moments, a white fog gathered at the top of the skull altar, and I recognised it as the ectoplasm of a spirit pulling itself together. The figure that materialised wore a heavy looking set of plate armour covered in spikey bits and skull patterns. Only the head was uncovered, revealing a flaming skull that looked directly at me.

“Bow before me, for I am Khrul, chosen of Nadari.” The knight bellowed. Pecs went to his knees and grovelled, and I gave the spirit a brief nod. My simple bodyguard didn’t normally move so smoothly, and I wondered if the system was guiding his actions. Was this the god we were supposed to leave here with?

“Hello Khrul, I’m Zed, King of the Braindead.” I said, trying to sound respectful. I didn’t want to make a poor impression, but I refused to grovel. “Get up Pecs.”

“King of the Braindead? I am unfamiliar.” Khrul said.

“We are new. It is zombie kingdom.” I explained.

“Zombies? Ah I see, you are not a demilich as I assumed.” Khrul said, then his voice grew louder. “The lack of respect was tolerable from a greater undead, but a zombie should know its place in the hierarchy of evil.”

“Our place?” I asked. This conversation was bringing back unpleasant memories of Voulos.

“You are the bottom of a great pyramid. It is your duty to support your betters by giving them your backs to stand on. Just because you have some levels doesn’t change your place in the natural order.”

The conversation lasted little longer than that, culminating in enraged yelling from the [Death Knight] at my perceived lack of respect. I had no interest in shackling myself to another tyrant, so I made my exit. I took one last look at the blood fountain before I left, bringing Pecs with me. I was glad that I had tagged along for this dream quest, because it could have ended with us worshipping that Kunya’s boss.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

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An hour later, I was losing hope of finding a decent patron deity for my clan. Most gods wouldn’t even let me enter their shrine, either because of my race or my alignment. I encountered the spirit guides of two more death gods, but they were both subordinate to Nadari.

We had even scouted out Cordelia’s pantheon. I tried the shrine of the brother war gods Wulrick and Verran, but while they didn’t forbid me entry, they didn’t even bother sending anyone to greet me. I waited a few minutes, but when it became obvious that nothing was going to happen I left.

The other Tykosian shrine I came across belonged to the sea god Saegir, who still had a following amongst rural fishing communities. I had a friendly chat with her octopus priest, but had no interest in her god. What was the point of worshipping a sea god when we were nowhere near the sea?

Most of the gods that would deign to meet with us were evil, and most evil gods were, to put it mildly, arseholes. They generally demanded complete obedience and plenty of grovelling. Those of them that allowed greater autonomy instead imposed ridiculous tribute demands, with lots of virgin blood and sacrifices.

I was debating the merits of throwing our lot in with the next semi-reasonable god we came across, when I saw an alcove that caught my interest. The flag covering it was embroidered with a skull sitting atop a pair of long bones. So, we were looking at another death god.

Event: You have discovered a shrine of Tiyanon. Do you wish to approach the altar?

Yes

Gain access to the shrine.

No

Nothing happens.

If we were lucky, this one wouldn’t be a subordinate of Nadari. I tried the entrance, and the box had no problem letting us in. That meant that Tiyanon wasn’t one of those death gods that considered undeath a perversion of the natural order. With some trepidation, I floated in.

Tiyanon’s shrine differed greatly from the other death shrines I had seen. The crimson god’s shrine had been drenched in blood, and a pale vampire wearing tight leather armour greeted me. The god of decay rolled out the welcome mat with a fuzzy carpet of black mould and a laid-back mushroom priest. It had been a shame I couldn’t worship Spore without swearing fealty to Nadari, because the priest was a fun guy.

In contrast, Tiyanon’s shrine was a little harder to pin down. There were certainly plenty of skulls decorating the room, but the theme was more martial in nature. Swords were mounted on the walls, alongside a range of black powder weaponry. I wasn’t too familiar with guns, but some part of [Made to Serve] recognised the boomsticks. There was even a pair of cannons facing outwards from the altar.

The focal point of the room was a wooden statue mounted atop the altar. Half of the statue a woman, and the other half was the skeletal tail of a giant fish. It reminded me of the [Bonefish] that ate Bob’s toe. The top half looked like a [Rusalka], drowned women who lure stupid men to their deaths.

I was inspecting the cannon when the spirit guide appeared. His ectoplasm formed into the shape of a human man with a big bushy beard. He wore a white shirt and military style trousers. “Ahoy! I be Captain Dreadbeard, scourge of t’ west and favoured disciple of Tiyanon.” He spoke with a heavy accent that was both hard to decipher and eerily familiar.

“Hi Deadbeard, I’m Zed, king of zombies.” I replied.

“King of t’ zombies eh? Don’t see that every day.” He said. Despite his rank, the man casually lounged where he stood, though one hand was never far from his pistol.

“No, I’m only one.” I agreed.

“I see. Not many talkin’ heads about either. Is strange, ‘cause me brother met one just a couple a months ago.” He said, crossing his ams across his chest

“Really?” I said with wide eyes.

“Aye. He was a friend of an old friend of ours.”

“Wow. Could I meet him?”

“You want t’ meet ‘im?”

“Yes!”

“I might have t’ get back t’ ya on that one.” He scratched his head.

The conversation lapsed into an inexplicably awkward silence for a moment before I asked the question I had been dreading. “Rules?”

“Rules? Ain’t many t’ be sure. He be big on t’ idea of freedom. No slaves, no minions. That won’t be a problem, will it?” He asek with a quirked eyebrow.

“Nope.” I grinned; I had finally found an evil god that didn’t want my clan lining up to lick their boots. A feline god of shadows had literally made that a requirement of her patronage. “Tribute?” I continued.

“Then just ask fer a taste of t’ loot. He take a one in twenty tithe of any treasure ya take, and he like a bit of coin when ya pray.” He said with a greedy smile as the real negotiations began.

I considered the deal carefully. Tiyanon could really do a lot for my clan. There was a movement speed boost from his freedom creed, fire resistance from one of his holy sites, and he offered a full range of blessings for each attribute. The boosts were great for my slow and highly flammable zombie horde, and having a way to boost my charisma was critical; I was down to my last charisma potion.

All in all, it seemed like a decent arrangement. Religion was too powerful a tool to ignore, and I considered myself lucky to have found a god of death that I could get on with. The captain even promised that our first kingdom quest would be a good one, but was tight-lipped on the details. He also gave me a heads up that Tiyanon didn’t get on too well with some of the other gods, but I was already overloaded with information and decided to leave Cordelia to deal with the diplomacy elements.

Zed's End of Chapter Sheet

King Zed ‘The Red’

16:42, 26th of Iosi, 1465 3A

Total Level: 2 (Copper)

Levels: Overseer 2

Experience: 187 / 200

Type: Overseer Zombie (C)

Attributes:

Resources:

Dexterity: 6

Stamina: N/A

Strength: 13

Power: N/A

Vitality: 15

Health: 60/60

Wisdom: 5

Willpower: 20/20

Intelligence: 5

Mana: 20/20

Charisma: 9

Soul: 38/38

Decay: 24% (Stage 0)

Affinities: Nether (100%), Poison (50%), Fire (-25%), Holy (-100%)

Titles:

King of the Braindead: Access to Kingdom subsystem.

Red-Handed: +1 Intelligence, sets alignment as evil, hands are permanently dyed red.

Traits:

Made to Serve: +1 Intelligence, +1 Charisma, -1 Wisdom. Gives understanding of system common, and the primary language of its creator (Orcish). Is able to follow simple commands based on the creator's intelligence divided by ten (3 words long). Gives access to a portion of the knowledge contained within the host brain, better preserved brains retain more information.

Flesh Construct: Sustained by nether magic, does not need to eat, drink, sleep or breath. Does not regenerate Health. Does not use Stamina or Might, but instead uses Decay.

Overseer: +2 Charisma.

Not Braindead: +1 Wisdom, +1 Intelligence and +2 Charisma.

Skills:

First skill gained at level 5

Abilities:

Unarmed Strike - Copper - Level 1 (Unavailable):

0% Decay

1 Second Cooldown

Strikes at the target with an unarmed limb for 10 bludgeoning damage.

Dash Attack - Bronze- Level 1 (Restricted):

0% Decay

5 Second Cooldown

Dashes to a target within 3 meters for 18 bludgeoning damage with a chance to push back or knock over the target.

Poisoned Bite - Bronze - Level 2 (Restricted):

0% Decay

5 Second Cooldown

+1 Vitality and Bites the target for 18 piercing damage and a further 16 poison damage over the next 30 seconds.

Enrage Zombie - Bronze - Level 1 (Restricted):

50 Soul

No Cooldown

The user lets out a rage-filled shout at a target zombie to increase its Strength, Dexterity, and Vitality by +5 for 45 seconds.

Overseer’s Aura - Bronze - Level 1 (Restricted):

1 Soul / Second

No Cooldown

+1 Strength to all zombies within 12 meters.

Corpse Explosion - Steel - Level 2 (Restricted):

200 Mana

20 Second Cooldown

Explodes the targeted corpse to deal damage equal to the health it had when alive in a 2m radius. Any corpses in the range of the explosion have a 25% chance to explode as if targeted by this ability.

Attunements (3/0):

Ring of the Jester (Cursed): +2 Charisma but curses the wearer with [Jester’s Curse].

Princess Tiara: +3 Charisma and makes the wearer more attractive to Princes.

Intellect Ring: +1 Intelligence.

Status Effects:

Jester’s Curse: The target is cursed by the jester. The curse can only be lifted by a Sphinx’s laugh.

Team-Killer (354 days remaining): -2 Charisma