The thing one must understand about major league baseball pitchers is they’re doing an incredibly difficult deed, and making it look easy.
While I was doing my best to imitate what I’d seen in baseball games on TV, I think it was obvious a lay man like me was never going to match the abilities of an actual major league baseball player.
That’s how I knew the System had sprinkled some kind of fairy dust on everything… on all of us.
Here we were conducting drills, and evaluations for skills in a sport no one in this adopted world of mine knew. And, yet, they were performing these tasks with better than lay man abilities. Logically, it didn’t make sense. But, this was the game.
Really, when I thought about it, I had to laugh because baseball often defies logic too. That’s half the fun of watching it. All of the arbitrary aspects of the sport, all of the idiosyncracies - that was baseball’s charm.
Given that, and given I’d ‘gamed’ my own body in effort to not die at the hands of cannibals, yeah I expected to throw major league caliber fastballs.
How did it go?
Well…
Forget major league pitching, I could barely qualify for little league.
It was incredible. The fastest of the five fastballs I threw, where I was totally focused on biffing the baseball with maximum force, crossed home plate at a whopping 73 miles per hour.
That was my fastest pitch.
But, there’s more to evaluating a fastball than just its raw speed. There’s also whether the ball moves on its flight to the plate. Movement on the ball, instead of just dead straight flight can fool batters. It will cause batters to misjudge the ball’s speed, and location which can lead the batter to swing, and miss, or make poor contact with the ball, or cause them not to swing at all as they’re confused by the pitch.
The good news was every fastball I pitched had tremendous amounts of movement, and accuracy. Elite levels of movement, and accuracy. I’d hit the bull’s eye of my strike zone vision every time, even as the ball itself danced back and forth within its flight path. Positive news, yes, but given the lack of speed, I could see a good batter launching my fastballs over the outfield wall.
Five more pitches, these ones were generic, non-fastballs - were aimed at trying to be as accurate as possible. It was probably a misnomer to say they weren’t fastballs. I wanted to throw them as hard as I could for the purposes of hitting the bull’s eye at sixty feet, six inches away (the official System approved distance of the pitcher’s mound to home plate).
Anyway, I’m happy to report I, again, plugged all five straight into the dead center of the strike zone.
Five additional pitches were used to measure ‘break’. This was an assessment to see how much ability I had to place spin on the baseball in such a way it would curve, drop, or slide as it crossed home. These were breaking pitches used to deceive batters into swinging at something that looks like it’s right there in front of them to hit, and then suddenly the ball breaks away, drops out, or curves or slides. This fools them, and they wind up swinging and missing, making bad contact (hitting foul balls, pop ups, and such), or they’re so bewildered they don’t swing at all.
Strangely, I didn’t perform well on this part at all. Two of my movement/break pitches didn’t do anything, and stayed dead straight. The other three pitches left my right hand flailing all over the place, and didn’t come close to the strike zone. Yikes. And, I say it was strange, because I’d been so good at getting movement on my fastballs.
Long story short, I think it was clear I wasn’t going to be one of the Moonlight Magic’s pitchers.
Pitching:
Adam Bridger:
5 Fastball Avg: 64 mph = Poor
Fastball Movement & Accuracy = Elite
5 Accuracy Pitches = Elite
5 Breaking Pitches = Poor
Proctor was up on the pitcher’s mound after me. The interesting thing about him was that he pitched with his left hand. Left handed pitching is a rare commodity in baseball. At least, that’s how I’d always understood it as a casual observer.
There never seemed to be many left handed pitchers on major league rosters, so if you could find a good one, you had a valuable weapon on your pitching staff.
Obviously, I had high hopes for Proctor’s assessment.
Here’s how it broke down.
Pitching:
Proctor Smythe:
5 Fastball Avg: 83 mph = Average
Fastball Movement & Accuracy = Average
5 Accuracy Pitches = Below Average
5 Breaking Pitches = Above Average
Proctor didn’t exactly blow the doors off, but he certainly performed better than me. Good enough to be one of our team’s pitchers? It was too soon to say. If he was deemed one of our better pitchers though, that wouldn’t bode well for the team overall. I didn’t express this out loud to him, however. He likely agreed with me anyway.
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
The following shows how both of our pitching performances stacked up against some other familiar faces.
Pitching:
Dillard Coal:
5 Fastball Avg: 90 mph = Above Average
Fastball Movement & Accuracy = Poor
5 Accuracy Pitches = Poor
5 Breaking Pitches = Above Average
Denton Carkner:
5 Fastball Avg: 62 mph = Poor
Fastball Movement & Accuracy = Poor
5 Accuracy Pitches = Below Average
5 Breaking Pitches = Average
Let me tell you, standing behind home plate while a seven foot man stands on the pitcher's mound is a heck of a sight. I'd searched my mind for a reasonable example, and I recalled a major league pitcher I'd seen on TV named Randy Johnson. He had a reputation for throwing pure fire that would just blow by batters. I wasn't sure of his height - probably not seven feet - but, he looked pretty dang tall on TV.
The connection between a pitcher's height, and their ability to throw hard probably had merit. I'm saying that from a purely ignorant point of view. There's probably science to back it up. Anyway, the former barbarian's fastball turned out to be pretty good.
Gak Bar:
5 Fastball Avg: 90 mph = Above Average
Fastball Movement & Accuracy = Below Average
5 Accuracy Pitches = Poor
5 Breaking Pitches = Above Average
Torag Gill:
5 Fastball Avg: 69 mph = Poor
Fastball Movement & Accuracy = Below Average
5 Accuracy Pitches = Poor
5 Breaking Pitches = Average
Ulrich Farrowhill:
5 Fastball Avg: 95 mph = Elite
Fastball Movement & Accuracy = Elite
5 Accuracy Pitches = Above Average
5 Breaking Pitches = Average
What a display put on by the oldest man at the whole try out. I was over the moon when I read my radar gun vision, and saw Ulrich hit the mid and upper 90s with his fastballs.
Without even seeing the long line of other guys throw one pitch, I knew Ulrich would be one of the Moonlight Magic’s pitchers. Exciting stuff. The guys gave him a warm welcome when he returned to his seat in the home dugout. I wanted to hug him.
Here’s how the pitching evaluations went for the unmentionables.
Pitching:
Jorn Quallon:
5 Fastball Avg: 77 mph = Below Average
Fastball Movement & Accuracy = Below Average
5 Accuracy Pitches = Average
5 Breaking Pitches = Elite
Jeremiah Quallon:
5 Fastball Avg: 75 mph = Below Average
Fastball Movement & Accuracy = Poor
5 Accuracy Pitches = Poor
5 Breaking Pitches = Poor
Jux Quallon:
5 Fastball Avg: 86 mph = Average
Fastball Movement & Accuracy = Average
5 Accuracy Pitches = Below Average
5 Breaking Pitches = Below Average
As far as I was concerned from having seen the terrible brothers pitch, I didn’t see them as pitchers for the team. Another reason to keep them on the bench? Fine with me.
“What’s next?” Gak asked me from the dugout.
“Arm strength,” I said.
“My event,” Gak said.
He slapped his bicep, and bellowed confidently. No one in the dugout challenged him on it.
“We’ll see,” I said.
“Aye,” Gak said. “You will, my friend. You will.”
So, I explained how this evaluation would work. To me, this had the potential to be the most fun.
“You’re really going to let loose,” I said to the guys. “Really, put everything into throwing the baseball. Get your whole body involved, and launch that thing as far as you possibly can. You’re going to stand near home plate, and throw the ball out to center field. I will let you know the distance. Don’t worry about accuracy. Just throw that thing as far as you can. Got it?”
Everyone nodded in unison.
“We’ll do five of those,” I said. “Then we’ll do ten accuracy throws from second base to home plate, and ten accuracy throws where you’ll act as a catcher trying to throw out someone trying to steal a base. You’ll throw from home to second. Sound good?”
I went first on the distance throws.
Throwing:
Adam Bridger:
Distance Home to CF: 230 feet = Average
Accuracy 2B to Home: 60% = Below Average
Accuracy C (home) to 2B: 100% = Elite
My throwing ability? Fine… I guess. Disappointing, if I’m being honest. And, here’s how the others performed by comparison.
Proctor Smythe:
Distance Home to CF: 175 feet = Poor
Accuracy 2B to Home: 100% = Elite
Accuracy C (home) to 2B: 70% = Below Average
Dillard Coal:
Distance Home to CF: 180 feet = Below Average
Accuracy 2B to Home: 70% = Average
Accuracy C (home) to 2B: 90% = Above Average
Denton Carkner:
Distance Home to CF: 300 feet = Above Average
Accuracy 2B to Home: 80% = Above Average
Accuracy C (home) to 2B: 70% = Below Average
Gak Bar:
Distance Home to CF: 170 feet = Poor
Accuracy 2B to Home: 50% = Poor
Accuracy C (home) to 2B: 70% = Below Average
Well, well, well.
I could tell Gak was embarrassed, so I didn’t rub it in. But, needless to say, he performed poorly in this area. When he was done, he walked off the field with his head down. No one said anything to him. I felt bad, but I also knew he’d bounce back in no time.
The assessments continued.
Throwing:
Torag Gill:
Distance Home to CF: 170 feet = Poor
Accuracy 2B to Home: 60% = Below Average
Accuracy C (home) to 2B: 80% = Average
Ulrich Farrowhill:
Distance Home to CF: 180 feet = Below Average
Accuracy 2B to Home: 50% = Poor
Accuracy C (home) to 2B: 60% = Poor
Jorn Quallon:
Distance Home to CF: 190 feet = Below Average
Accuracy 2B to Home: 60% = Below Average
Accuracy C (home) to 2B: 90% = Above Average
Jeremiah Quallon:
Distance Home to CF: 190 feet = Below Average
Accuracy 2B to Home: 40% = Poor
Accuracy C (home) to 2B: 50% = Poor
Jux Quallon:
Distance Home to CF: 300 feet = Above Average
Accuracy 2B to Home: 60% = Below Average
Accuracy C (home) to 2B: 70% = Below Average
Pretty disappointing stuff from the known quantities in the dugout that I already knew were going to be on the 40 man roster. No one had an elite throwing arm. Ulrich surprised me in this category because he showed such promise as a pitcher. I’d just assumed if he could throw such hard fastballs, he’d be able to launch throws deep into center field from home, but nope.
With the men in the home dugout done, it was time to do the final assessments on everyone else. Dusk wasn’t that far off, and the giant concrete wall around Moonlight was already throwing long shadows, so the timing worked out.
“Let’s get the line moving,” I said to Trevor, and he ushered the first three along. “Then we’ll see how you do, just for fun, if we have time.”
This caused the giant to smile.
“You mean it?”
He said it with such child like innocence, my heart melted.
“Of course,” I said. “I’ve always wanted to see how far a giant could throw a baseball.”