Bob was a strange human who could not have hot cocoa but could have chocolate milk. Sam was also a strange human; he could have hot cocoa but not chocolate milk. One day Bob wanted to have ice cream but all the ice cream parlors were closed due to the Coronavirus. Bob thought he would try to make a cure for the virus. He called Sam and asked if he wanted to make a cure.

Sam came over to Bob’s house at 10 o’clock and they started to mix regular household ingredients until they got a pinkish beige color. Bob then dumped it over a vial filled with the virus that his friend had given him. Sam looked at it under a microscope and to his surprise it worked. Then Bob thought that they needed to feed it to a living creature. Sam volunteered to get Ms. Plekentine’s cat.

The next day Sam came over to Bob’s house with his neighbor’s cat and two mugs of hot cocoa.

“I’m deathly allergic to hot cocoa,” Bob said, “I have some chocolate milk I can warm up.”

“I’m deathly allergic to chocolate milk,” Sam said, “I guess I’ll drink all the hot cocoa myself.”

First they fed Ms. Plekentine’s cat the virus until it continuously made a gagging noise. They then force a quarter cup of their remedy down the cat’s throat. For the next hour they watched the cat. The cat stopped gagging about five minutes after they fed it the medicine. When they let the cat go free it drank out of the dog’s water bowl. And Bob picked up and took it outside but in the process the cat pooped all over Bob. It wasn’t regular cat dung it was very runny and smelled like rotten eggs and bleach.

“Sam come here,” Bob said. Sam came out to the yard. “It pooped all over me! And is this regular cat poo?” Bob asked.

“That is not regular cat poop” Sam said “I wonder what that hag feeds her cat?” Sam asked bob.

“I think that the cure is safe” Bob said

“Me too” Sam agreed

“You want to be the first one to try it?” Bob asked Sam

“No it was your idea” Sam said.

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“Fine, I'll try it first,” Bob said. He drank a little of the virus. He then drank the cure. It tasted like a stale cookie that had been covered in mayonnaise but Bob eventually gagged it down. To their astonishment when Bob took a test for the virus he tested negative.

“It works, we're going to get rich and famous” Bob yelled. They had more hot cocoa/warm chocolate milk to celebrate. But about two minutes after Bob took his first sip he had the same type of diarrhea as the cat.

“Sam, I think the medicine makes you have diarrhea.” Bob said

Sam, who wasn’t stuck sitting on the toilet, got Bob food and water. After 2 hours of being stuck on the toilet and using 5 rolls of toilet paper Bob noticed that whenever he drank his water or ate something juicy he had diarrhea.

“Sam I found out the problem,” Bob shouted

Sam hurried to the bathroom and Bob told him the problem.

“So the medicine makes you allergic to water,” Sam said.

“Yep,” Bob replied

“You could just drink canola oil,” Sam suggested

“That’s a great idea,” Bob said.

Bob had used all but 1 roll of his family’s toilet paper and because people thought they needed 100 rolls of toilet paper to survive the crisis there was none at the store, which was not good. For the rest of the day Bob sat on the toilet eating Saltines and drinking canola oil. Even after chugging half the bottle of oil Bob was still thirsty.

“I’m thirsty” Bob complained

Sam came to the bathroom and asked Bob if olive oil would be better but Bob shook his head and said “I just want water.” So Sam got him a glass of water which he drank hastily and said “I’ve never been so appreciative of water in my life”

When Sam came back the next morning he found Bob asleep on the toilet and woke him up. There was less than half a roll of toilet paper left and that was the last in the house.

“What should we do with Ms. Plekentine’s cat,” Sam asked Bob

“Feed it more medicine and then give it back and say we found it in Jeff’s yard,” Bob answered.

Sam brought Ms. Plekentine her cat after feeding it more medicine and Ms. Plekentine asked “Where did you find her, she’s been missing for days?”

“In Jeff’s front yard” Sam explained

The next day Sam brought Bob some more toilet paper and helped him set up his X box in the bathroom and got him some food.

The next 5 days were almost the same.

On the 6th day Bob was having less diarrhea and on the 8th day it was completely gone.

1 month later they sold their cure to a lab in Wisconsin for $10,000 which they split evenly.