I run but I’m not going to be fast enough to flee from this villain.

I cannot escape Aldramodore so long as he can grip my heart and command me to do his will. From how far can his magic affect me? How far must I flee to be out of his reach?

I am not sure but so long as I can hear his voice, I’ll be too close.

So I must be sure that I cannot hear him.

Drawing my dagger, its blade shimmering with the frost that radiates from me, I rest the point in my ear. If I’m not careful, I’ll fully stab it through my brain, I’m not in full control of my movements anymore, and I can’t be sure that I won’t accidentally lobotomise myself.

There’s no time for hesitation.

I thrust the blade deep into my flesh and twist it about to be certain that everything is destroyed. I can hardly even feel any pain through the overwhelming panic that has stolen my mind. Each thought drifting slowly as if separate from the halls racing around me. I dash out into the burning light of the castle proper, abandoning Pharisa, and leaving behind Lysis’s corpse.

I must get away, and I must not let his voice reach me.

I can’t let him take anything more from me.

Suppressing my natural instinct to heal my ears, something easy to do in the glowing oven that is the inside of this castle, I destroy my hearing entirely by ruthlessly shattering the inside of my other ear. I’m not satisfied until I’m fully made deaf by my desperate efforts.

Sliding around a corner, I see a cloaked figure only a second before crashing into them. I struggle around in the man’s burning grip until I recognise the familiar burn of Merry’s faith sizzling my flesh. He pulls down the cloth covering his twisted face, desperately waving back towards where I’ve come from while his lips form words that I don’t understand.

“Lysis is dead,” I say, shaking my head and pulling Merry along with me as I run from Aldramodore. His grip on Belle forms a long line that I drag after me in my escape, I pull them all towards the garden shed, not looking back. I try not to think, but I can’t stop the thoughts floating to my mind.

Lysis died for me.

He was not a good man. The lust that he directed towards me and Belle still makes my skin crawl, and he would have taken us forcefully if we hadn’t successfully fought back. I’m certain that what he did was done out of a selfish desire to be remembered fondly, to be seen as a hero… but even if it was done out of selfishness, he sacrificed himself to save me.

I don’t know how to feel.

While I struggle to pull my companions on faster, someone steps into the hall from a side door. An older woman, her eyes open wide at the sight of us. She opens her mouth to scream.

Lewark steps forward quickly and knocks the woman out with some strange technique. Leaving her lying against the wall, likely not dead. I can’t be sure.

I pull us outside and look up to see the backs of the knights atop the wall, if they just glance backwards the once… no, don’t think. Run.

My stomach drops in my gut but my feet do not slow. I rush towards the familiar garden shed, not seeing anything of the world around me, focused only on our escape. The stone door slides a little too slowly, and I squeeze through the opening gap ignoring the machinery and searching for the trapdoor.

It’s easy to miss, but my enhanced sight isn’t fooled.

I tear open the trapdoor and fall through the opening, ignoring the ladder to the side.

I want to run on ahead, flee without the others, but I cannot. Without Lysis they do not know the way to safely make it to the other end, but I do, and I will not abandon them. Even if my chest feels like it’s being shattered apart by the stress alone, as I guide them past the traps.

The darkness here is not nearly so welcoming now that I know that it is his territory, not mine.

The others are in near as much of a rush as myself and in short enough order I pull them along the tunnels. If they have any complaints then I’m not able to hear them, not that I’d slow down for it in any case. I do not know how long Lysis has bought us with his stunt, that sword he used burned with white flames hotter than anything I’ve ever known.

It’s not going to be enough.

I pull us along the winding paths right back to the place we entered just this morning, crawling my way out into the shadow of the castle that still stands over us. If he stood on the walls, would he see me?

“I’m leaving,” I tell the others before they even have a chance to fully escape the tunnels. “Do not follow me, do not search for me, and never return to my estate. He knows who I am. Please, escape before he finds you, too.”

I do not linger in wait for replies that I will not hear, rushing away into the quiet streets of this rotten city.

I walk in perfect silence, taking in every detail of the sights around me. The people with their downcast expressions and the suspicious gazes that they turn to one another. I cannot hear the crying, or the sounds of violence, two things that are omnipresent in this terrible place, but even without my ears, I know that nothing has changed.

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

The tears and blood that this city demands, cannot be hidden away so easily.

I’m not certain where it is that I’m walking at first, but my mind slowly catches up with my body.

I need to find Semi. She can help me to find Syr.

Her shop is a terrible place filled with all sorts of debauchery, but it was where I awoke this morning beside Syr, beside a girl who cares for me even with my affliction, and the cruelty in my new soul.

She is a necromancer hunted by Aldramodore. A man who can demand from me my every secret.

I can’t let him have her.

I pause, staring down at the cobblestone under my feet, my mind freezing as I slowly realize just how few and desperate my options are.

I can let myself die.

That way I will not be used by Aldramodore, and all my secrets will go with me to my grave.

Else, I need a way to ensure that these secrets are pulled out of my reach. Adlramodore can take everything that I have, so if I want to keep something from him, then I must ensure that it is outside of my own reach. If I want to keep Syr safe…

Then it’s best that I would have never met her…

My knees feel weak, but I force them to take another step.

Semi can arrange for it. She wants to protect Syr, and she knows what Aldramodore is capable of. She will help me to contact Syr, and then…

My hands, balled into fists, are shivering. My insides are burning with cold frost.

I don’t want this. I’ve finally met someone that can help me to see myself for what I am. Someone who has helped me find another part of myself. Rea. The ice that shines in the sun without melting.

I… don’t want to forget.

Little beads of ice roll down my cheek and my hands reach up to catch them. Tears. I’m crying. I’m…

When I arrive at Semi’s shop I nearly stumble into a guard that stands in my way before I can enter. His lips are moving, but I can’t even try to make sense of it right now in my current state.

“I’m here to meet with Semi,” I say. “She will want to see me, right away.”

The guard says something more, but shakes his head, getting a butler of some nature to come. I repeat the same to him, and it seems as though he recognises me, as his eyes open wide and he hurries me in.

I try not to startle as a pair of well-armed warriors appear beside me, watching me as they would a prisoner, or someone else equally as dangerous. They must’ve come up from behind me. I should have noticed, but with my hearing gone, I’m not nearly as perceptive.

They are both powerful, and I can see the early beginnings of visible æther veins on their skin. When I pause for a step, they shove me onwards, and I know with that alone that I cannot escape them, and they will not let me leave.

Imagining Aldramodore appearing just as suddenly and taking me in his grip worries me more than whatever it is they are bringing me to.

They do not take me to the usual seating where I would meet with Semi, and instead, I’m brought down into a basement, through layers of burning enchantments and defences. The room beyond is not anything overly pleasant, cold stone walls, and metal shackles along the walls.

Semi looks up at me, not disguising her surprise.

She says something, and the guards on either side of me reply. After a short back and forth they retreat from the room, closing the doors and denying me any escape.

Semi looks grim, waving me closer.

“I can’t hear you,” I say, shaking my head. “I… was with Aldramodore.”

She sits up straighter, pulling a dagger from a hidden sheathe in her clothes.

“He didn’t… I ran before he could do anything, or ask anything,” I say, and she relaxes a little. “I carved out my ears so that I can’t hear him just in case he…”

Semi nods, her gaze softening as she focuses on me, but she still looks resolved and firm, but she replaces her knife. She’s standing by a wooden table with shackles built into it, it certainly doesn’t seem like a thing that belongs in a shop like this, or if does I don’t want to know how it’s used.

“I… I can’t escape him, can I?” I ask, and she slowly shakes her head saying something. I think she’s trying to say that she didn’t know, that she’s sorry, but I can’t be sure.

“I can’t let him know what I know,” I tell her, back up until I’m up against the door and then collapsing to the ground. I close my eyes and stare into the nothingness.

“You need to get Syr,” I say. “As quickly as you can. Before he finds me. She can… She can make me forget. If I don’t know something, then I can’t give it over to him. Alramodore was talking about taking away memories, and I know that Syr can do it as well. She can order me to forget.”

Semi’s eyes widen at my words, and she slowly nods, walking back and forth the length of the room while rubbing a finger against her lower lip. Occasionally she’ll glance at me, gritting her teeth as she considers the situation.

Finally, she nods, standing over me and offering me her hand.

I take it.

When she leads me out of the room, we cross paths with someone else that was coming down the stairs that lead to the torture room. In his breast, I feel the subtle burning faith that I’ve come to recognise in those who have taken their religious fervour to a new level.

He talks with Semi for a moment before retreating.

A priest.

The powerful warriors that appeared at my side, pushing me onwards; this room that I wouldn’t be able to escape from; a priest, able to free my soul from Aldramodore’s grasp.

How long has she been preparing to kill me?

Semi smiles down at me, leading me up the stairs all the way to the top floor. I try to ignore the smells that escape into the halls that we walk through, focusing on the next step ahead. When she opens a set of grand doors, she reveals a room far more luxurious than anything I expected of this place.

It is nicer than even my own room, and the enchantments around it are no less powerful than those around the cell in the basement. The room is filled with shades of red and pink, but with enough neutral colours of white and black to keep it from overwhelming my senses.

The bedding is luxuriously soft and covered in various silks, and there’s even a warm tub on one side of the room bubbling happily. Thin wispy curtains line the edge of the bed like a veil, and soft carpets cover every inch of the floor, I’ve never before seen a room that could be so simply described as ‘soft’.

Semi waves her hand about the room, gesturing for me to wait here for Syr.

When she leaves, and I’m alone in the dreadful silence, I kneel to the ground and do my best to keep the tears from escaping me.

I need to find the right words. A way to say this that won’t hurt quite as badly, but what magical words exist that could make this request any less difficult? For her, and for me.

I don’t want this.

I don’t want to forget.

I don’t want to forget Syr.

I don’t want to forget the night we spent together.

I don’t want to forget that someone can love me.

I don’t want to forget Rea. The person that I want to be.

When the door opens and Syr steps inside, the smile on her lips freezes. Her eyes shimmer as she rushes to my side, wrapping me in her arms. Vael is there, giving me a weak smile as she closes the doors to give us privacy.

“I’m sorry,” I tell Syr desperately trying to hide my tears. “I’m sorry.”