If I close my eyes and centre myself on all other things, then the world itself can fade away. At least, I can pretend that it does. The darkness that follows me becomes a blanket to hide me away, and all that I know is the warmth of someone at my side.
Her heart beats a little faster than is usual. To be expected for someone who has just survived a dangerous battle against a villain that has pursued her for some time. The uncertainty of his fate, and thus ours, is itself an anxiety-inducing consideration.
Yet, I set that aside. Perhaps I should not, as I know that it’s unwise, but for today, I feel like acting a little unwise.
“Do you think his guards will come for us?” I ask Belle looking back toward the event that we have left behind. Therina and Henry are racing to us alongside the familiar guards in Belle’s service, but I see no one who should cause us worry.
“He left them behind in pursuit of us,” Belle shakes her head. “From what I know of him, he causes enough trouble for others that no one will worry if he is missing for a few days. I don’t think they’ll even start looking for him until tomorrow.”
“Isn’t that strange?” I ask.
“The man isn’t normal, he doesn’t act normal,” Belle pauses. “So long as Merry can return him within a week, I think we should be safe from any trouble.”
Our servants arrive before we can dare to think of what will happen should the prince never reappear.
While their worry is quite clear, they have been delayed in their arrival here, perhaps by the guards of the event, or perhaps to avoid becoming embroiled in the combat themselves.
Right among them, wearing harsh masks to pretend as if the streets do not bother them, our noble peers arrive.
“What are you doing here?” Belle asks, stiffening when she recognises them through the evening’s darkness.
“Henriette, and Shari, thank you for coming to assist us, but the matter is already dealt with.”
“You’re wet with blood,” her statement could be mistaken for an accusation.
“Do not worry, we are unharmed,” I say, adjusting my dress. It was not meant for battle and has tattered in places for being overstretched. If I walk without care one might even glimpse my thigh and the wooden stake strapped to it.
“Then perhaps I should question no further,” Shari’s words are expressed as more of a question. She very much wants to know.
“We were beset by a terrible beast of a man in these streets,” I say in way of explanation. “In the altercation that came of it, the young prince Lysis, bless his soul, was gravely wounded but a passing priest has come to his aid.
“We trust that the prince is in good care,” I say.
“Then it would be incredibly rude to ask for more intrusive details of such a terrible event,” Shari says, showing the whites of her eyes as her excited heart audibly skips a beat. “Let us hurry, I can hear my carriage coming for us now.”
“Belle,” Henriette, steps closer, pulling a handkerchief from her pocket and wiping clean the shortsword still clutched in Belle’s hand. “It’s for the best that you put this away.”
“Yes, yes…” she nods slowly, her eyes still following the movements of a fight already ended.
“Henry, my carriage?”
“I’ve already told them to return, miss,” Therina says. “I expected that you wouldn’t need it given the circumstances.”
The bright shine in her eyes that had illuminated the evening, is all but a memory now. Stained in the blood of a failed prince who walked the path of a villain in terrible contrast to his fairytale counterpart that seeks only romance.
“We will return shortly,” I say. “The night is long, and our dresses are already ruined.”
“Tina,” Belle grips my hand. “About what I said earlier?”
“The offer, or the demand?” She offered her blood and demanded that I refrain from my hunts. It is a terrible deal, as my powers as a vampire would surely stagnate, but I too have worried that my nightly proclivities are leading me down a path that I would soon regret.
“You’re a good person, Tina,” Belle says, “Don’t forget that.”
“It will be easier to remember with someone by my side to remind me,” I say, following her into the closed carriage with Shari and Henriette.
Belle refrains from a reply, now that we share company with other noblewomen. They look between us with guarded expressions, their thoughts hidden away too well for me to understand.
“This night has ended sooner than I’d been expecting,” Shari says. “We could continue in my own estate if you two would be so willing?”
“No,” Belle’s reply is quick, her eyes fluttering with barely repressed weariness. “I fought hard, and I used magic that I’ve never used before. I need my bed.”
I quietly and politely laugh at her professed weakness. She is terribly adorable, like a pup that has played itself to exhaustion.
“What of you, Christina?” Shari asks.
“I am not sure,” I say, shaking my head. “Only a brief glimpse of that party nearly exhausted my supply of hope. I no longer think that I can find meaningful allies from the nobility or the royalty. Speaking of politics further would be a drain on my energies while offering little to nothing in return.
“Though I mean that as no slight against you personally,” I quickly add. “I simply do not believe I have the patience this night.”
“I can understand,” Shari smiles in sympathy. “Though, I must assure you that there were many meaningful discussions this evening. The conversations that you might disregard are merely the fodder that we use to avoid saying aloud topics that are better discussed in private rooms. Alliances and trade issues are rarely directly discussed in such events.”
“I do not think many nobles are interested in such issues anymore, Shari,” I say. “The more I see the difference the more I’m convinced that two different cities are sharing this same land and name. The city of the nobles and royals, who plot and scheme in their own private wars, and the city of the commoners who build the city, farm the food, and brew the potions.”
Belle turns to look at me, nodding in quiet agreement with each point, but the other two refrain from comment. Their masks and silence evidence of a sea of thoughts that they would rather not share with us.
“Perhaps I have said too much,” I admit. “I have been dispirited from my observations of late.”
“Perhaps,” Shari replies with a sharp nod. “It seems that we have arrived at Belle’s home.”
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“Thank you, for coming to see about our safety,” I say, guiding the stumbling young Belle from the carriage. “It was a tremendous risk for you to have taken.”
“No matter our differences, we must stand up for one another in the noble court, else we will be consumed by the more powerful nobles,” Shari says. “It is the purpose that I see in the empty conversations that you despise. Friendship, Christina, is an important resource for all of us.”
“I… thank you,” I repeat.
She is right, I’m not of a mind to break her words and intents down for their finer meaning, but I can tell already that my shallow contempt for the noble court isn’t entirely deserved.
It is still a silly game, but there is more sense to it than I can see from my place of ignorance. It is just as how I’d seen the slaves as deserving their place before speaking with them, and the thieves as simple scoundrels before I learned of the terrible state of the streets.
I should not blind myself with false pictures of the world, painted by ignorance.
“You needn’t wait for me,” I tell, Shari. “I wish to speak with Belle for a while longer, and I would not want to hold you here in wait of me.”
“Be careful,” Shari says, holding me in place with a short pause of her breath. “If you should encounter trouble then feel free to seek me out, even for such issues as romance. I would happily listen to your frustrations, as your sisters can no longer aid in such ways.”
“Thank you,” I say, leaving the carriage.
“Do you think that she’s…” Henriette whispers as I close the door.
“I will ask the maid to prepare sweets for tomorrow, in case of a surprise visit,” Shari replies, though I do not quite understand the meaning of the topic.
Is there a reason why I would visit tomorrow, or is it someone else that they are discussing?
The horses soon draw them away, leaving Belle and I at the front of her mansion.
It is no proper estate and sits on the street itself, even if the yard provides a wide buffer. Guards keep it safe from scoundrels, especially at this time of a night. It is much cleaner here than most the rest of the city, and it seems her family is not the only nobility on this street.
“Our troubles are gone,” Belle says, her voice cutting through the silence of the evening. “Your uncle is dead, and no one is trying to compete for your title. Lysis is either going to see the truth of his wrongdoings, or he is going to see us killed.”
“I know of a knight who might prepare us an escape should the latter come to pass,” I step closer to her. “Should you wish, we can see him on the ‘morrow and see that we are prepared for such an occasion.”
“That’s not… There’s no reason for our marriage anymore,” Belle says. “We’re safe.”
“There’s no reason?” I ask. “There is no reason for the ruse, I can agree to that.”
Belle turns and I step up to her, pressing my lips to hers before she notices. Her heart pounds faster, as she raises her hands, throwing me away from her.
She spits at the ground, scrubbing her lips with the back of her hand to rid the taste of me.
“Tastes like blood,” she whispers, her expression foul. “Tina, I told you already that I can’t do this.”
“I thought…” Her hastened heart, the warmth between us. Her offer of blood, and how she has been so determined in seeking my salvation. “I thought your feelings might have changed.”
She hesitates, but in this moment she is easy to see through. The hesitation is only a question of form, she has her answer and she pauses only to consider the shape of it.
“I apologise,” I say bowing my head before she can say it. “I shouldn’t have acted so brashly. It was my mistake and I hope that you do not hold it against me.”
She says not a word more and I do not wait. She does not want to say it and I do not want to hear it. We both know that the answer has already been given.
I stride from the yard, Therina quick on my heels, with Henry waiting for us on the street. They say nothing, but I can feel the quiet conversation made through shared glances.
Belle already told me that our relationship would not be anything romantic. She was without any lies in that regard, and only my own faulty expectations and my deranged hopes were to blame for what happened just now.
I will not make the same mistake again. I may have damaged our relationship, but it isn’t irreparable, and I’m sure that we might remain friends.
My fangs itch. My meal earlier this night was left half-finished. The promised blood that was meant to sate this desire is now no longer an option, and I honestly do not wish to have this desire filled. Tonight, it is better to wallow in this feeling of wanting.
“The bound pipes,” I say the thought aloud before thinking to its conclusion. “I would like to hear them played. Music that is of a land and people, not our own. Something that might take me far away.”
“I know a merchant that might have something like that,” Henry says, stepping in. “I don’t know anyone that can play them, though.”
“It is fine, I know someone already.”
It is in her very name.
Our adventure is rather short and uneventful, even for the excitement that started this night. The merchant is unhappy about the late visit, but his smile is broad when he hears that it’s a service for a noble.
He offers a few musicians who might be interested, but we kindly refuse his offers to hasten our return home.
It is strange to be returning this early in the evening, I am tortured by the daylight and spend much of my day locked up, so I usually use the night for all that I can. Tonight, however, I cannot find the inspiration to hunt or do anything constructive.
Now, I cannot press Piper as I have done with Belle, a romantic development would be… I am not prepared to even consider it again so soon. That, and I am not blind to the unusual nature of our relationship.
I am a monster, and such flights of emotional fancy are no longer something that should be distracting me from my duties.
Her companionship and company would be welcome in the simple sense of friendship. With that in mind, I would like to reach out to her and get a better understanding of her.
Henry opens the door and leaves us at the foyer. Therina follows me to my room to have my dress replaced, and the staff who are still active all politely bow their heads at my passing.
I seek out Piper with my senses so that I might speak with her and gift her this new instrument. If she is already asleep then I will simply have to leave this until morning, as much as it bothers me.
“I can’t,” her whisper is pressed with more passion than I’ve ever heard from her. “You know why.”
“You worry too much. She’s a kind person. I’ve seen it while following her, she hasn’t once done anything cruel to us.”
Sharre. The man who was a slave, and now seeks the power of a knight. The man who has followed me as a guard, I have trusted my back to him, and he has not once betrayed me.
The way he speaks to her…
“I don’t trust her,” Piper says. “I need to keep watch on her. I need to make sure she doesn’t abandon us, the world out there is more dangerous than we thought.”
“I’m not saying it has to be tonight,” Sharre says. “We’re still looking for a distant village that will be safe for us. When we find it, I want to make a home with you. I want you to play music for our children.”
“Sharre…” She sounds exhausted, but not at all repelled by the idea.
“Piper, please just think about it. Until you have an answer, then use this. Learn to play again, like your mother would have wanted.”
“A set of bound pipes… Where did you find them?”
“I made it,” Sharre says to her. “The instruments I could find in the markets were all wrong, so I found the parts and I made it myself.”
How romantic.
Truly.
“Sharre.”
The way she says his name. The pause that follows, the soft sound of a kiss. A silence settles between them, light as a feather. Nothing like the terrible mountain that weighed upon my shoulders earlier this night, when Belle struggled to find her own reply.
I pinch my eyes shut as Therina pulls my clothes from me, preparing a nightdress. It is softer and rests lightly on my shoulders. The instrument in my hands weighs heavier for the notes that will not be played, the music that it will never know.
The first note takes me by surprise. A mournful, hollow sound, that is so quiet only two others can hear it.
“Thank you, Therina. You may leave.”
She bows, her expression telling of thoughts that she cannot find words to express. She pauses only briefly at the door, before closing it tight, but it cannot hide the music from me.
I can have what I want if I am willing to take it.
If I want blood, then all I need do is hunt those that whet my appetite. There is no need to target the criminals, and the underserving, I can simply take what I want from who I want.
Belle’s terrified expression flits through my mind sending a shiver down my spine.
Perhaps, if I were to feast until full, then this hollow in my chest would be filled.
Perhaps, I could kill the part of me that would regret it.
Piper’s music tells of pain and sorrow. I’m sure that she has tears in her eyes, but the moment is not meant for me to see. I am an intruder.
Unwanted.
My hands find the enchanted stake before I can even think it through.
A childish response. A noble child would never throw a tantrum simply because they have been rejected. It would be silly.
The ice in my chest grinds away, making a terrible sound, disrupting the beautiful music.
I brush my finger against the point of the wooden stake. A weapon made to kill my kind. I set it aside before I can make a fool of myself.
No, it is wrong of me to think of this time as my own. My life is only meaningful for the service that I can provide my people, and someone so weak can achieve little of value.
Frost erupts within me, a powerful blast that should kill an ordinary person. It burns through my veins quickly bringing me to the brink of collapse, but that is fine.
My skin turns cold and brittle, stiffening from the frost that consumes me. My face, frozen in a perfect mask, cannot betray me, and my heart, held in a sturdy vice, will never again beat.
I am a monster bound to duty, and I should know my place.