Chapter 37

I was laying in my bed, covered in rapidly cooling sweat, with Ara curled up against me, using my chest as her pillow. I idly ran my fingers through her long golden hair. So I’m a lord, huh? That title in and of itself seems extremely useful. It also makes the prohibition against commoners harming a lord make more sense too, since from what I’ve seen magic in general is pretty rare. The kingdom would want to do just about anything in its power to maintain those bloodlines for when it really mattered, like during times of war, even if it meant putting up with insufferable assholes. Still don’t feel bad about offing that rapist noble back in Tiga though. It might be the kingdom’s law, but it sure as fuck isn’t one I feel the need to follow.

We’d been in bed for a good hour or so at this point, and we’d have to get up pretty soon since Hammer and Knick would be finishing up the day's work and would be expecting dinner as we usually ate together around dusk each evening. Ara was a significantly better cook than any of us, so having her as an addition to the group would be a nice change from living off simple skewers of meat cooked over a fire while we travel. Hmm, too bad all that bear meat is frozen outside. It would have been tasty right about now. I seem to have worked up an appetite, I smiled to myself. We’ll have to thaw some out for tomorrow. Hmm, well we’ll have to thaw it anyway to get the skins off so I can sell them. I glanced down at Ara. I think I’ll have one of the juvenile bearskins turned into a nice cloak for my first attendant. The way she’d said ‘one of’ my attendants seemed to indicate that lords were expected to have at least a few. Damn, I may not have crazy OP magic like in one of the many anime shows I’d watched, but I may just end up with a harem anyway. My smile stretched wider, there are worse things that could happen to a guy I suppose.

I heard Dog barking in the front yard, and Ara twitched before jumping out of bed and throwing on her dress. She ran her fingers through her currently messy hair, trying to arrange it back into its usual ponytail. She did an admirable job considering she only spent about ten seconds tying it back with a thin strip of leather. She strode back over to me as she finished, put a hand on my chest, and leaned down to give me a quick peck on the lips while blushing prettily. Then she dashed out the door and down the stairs just as I heard someone knocking on the front door. Hmm, I wonder if I can parlay my newfound nobility into getting into some high stakes liar’s folly games around town.

“My lord?” came Ara’s call from downstairs. “The city tax collector is here, and he would like a word with you if you’re available.”

“Just a moment, Ara. I’ll be right down,” I said loudly enough to be heard downstairs. Hmm, this man likely speaks to the lord of the city himself. I should probably try to make something of an impression. I took off my eyepatch, that should go a long way towards making that impression.Too bad I have no clothes, I sighed to myself, maybe I can get Ara to make me some clothes so I have more than just the one outfit. I tied on the robe Ara had left me and picked up my bejeweled Califondian dagger off my bedside table. I tucked it into a pocket of the robe and made my way downstairs.

I found Ara standing in the living room pouring a glass of water on the coffee table while a middle aged man I hadn’t seen before lounged arrogantly on the somewhat threadbare couch below the window at the front side of the house. The magic I saw within him was nothing special. He was looking around at the room’s minimal decor with a faint grimace of disgust. “Ah, hello, sir! Pleased to meet you. I am Lord Nameless of Tiga, what can I do for you on this extremely cold winter’s day?” I greeted him with no small amount of arrogance on my own part. I took a seat on the couch opposite the middle aged man and spread my arms wide over the back of the couch as I examined him. He seemed to be wearing rather new clothing that looked to be wool. Nearly everything he wore was black with the exception of a fine white linen shirt underneath his vest. I could see a black wool cloak hanging next to the door that I didn’t recognize, so I had to assume it was his. All black, huh? Well, as someone who prefers that aesthetic myself, I can appreciate his style.

The man had frozen as soon as I declared myself a lord, and he was staring at my golden eye. He looked like he was going to be sick. “I-I was just stopping by to collect the young lady’s taxes, my lord.” Seems like he’s not going to question my lordship with an obviously magic eye in my skull. I’d seen a dozen or so men in this lifetime with eyepatches but not one with a prosthetic eye, much less a gold one, so it’s probably a reasonable assumption.

“Ah, well that makes sense, as Ara mentioned you were the local tax collector,” I chuckled as if at my own cleverness. “But, if I’m not mistaken, Ara will be owing you fifty gold come the end of spring, am I wrong Ara?” I looked over to her where she was standing politely midway between us and off to the side of the table still holding the pitcher.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

“No, my lord. That was what I was told upon the tax collector’s last visit this past harvest, when I last paid my taxes,” she sounded a bit confused. I pushed forward the empty glass she had set on my side of the table, and she dutifully filled it.

I took a sip as I watched the tax collector. He all but squirmed in his seat. “Hmm, odd that you’d be back already not two months later then.” I put my hand to my chin as if in thought. “So, since we all know the money isn’t due yet, I think we can agree you’re here for another reason. If I had to guess, based on my admittedly limited understanding of the situation, I’d say you’re here to apply pressure on my attendant for some reason.” I waved a hand dismissively. “Not knowing all the local politics involved I couldn’t begin to guess the reason for something of that nature. But, as it’s likely none of my business, I don’t particularly care. What I care about is my attendant’s well being in these circumstances as well as this fine forge that I’m currently renting.

“Now, if you can give me a good reason why she needs to pay her taxes four months early, well then, I’d be happy to hand you fifty gold right here and now so we can send you on your merry way with the necessary coin.” I raised the eyebrow over my golden eye. “Can you provide me with that reason, sir? Or was this merely a courtesy visit to remind my attendant that come spring she will be required to pay the requisite fifty gold she was previously informed about?”

The man was looking rather pale. “At-attendant? I wasn’t aware the young lady had taken employment in the service of a lord.”

“Ah, yes, well, there’s no reason you would have heard. It’s a recent development.” I smiled fondly at Ara, and she blushed as the man looked at her with wide eyes. “I was lucky to find her, beyond the fact that she had this fine forge that I had a need for. The girl is practically brimming with magic. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find her joining the ranks of the nobility herself one of these days, and any children she gives me are likely to have at least one or two different types of magic in their own right.” Ara’s eyes had widened at this, but she didn’t say anything to betray the fact that she hadn’t known prior to this conversation.

“Th-then as you say my lord, this was merely a courtesy visit. That said, I know the city lord Count d’Lake will want to know that I in fact verified that you are indeed a mage. I do apologize, but I know the man well enough to know he’d punish me harshly if I didn’t verify this with my own eyes. A minor downside of being a new and unlanded member of the nobility that hasn’t been in public much yet. I expect you’ll be required to show such more than once in this city.” He actually did sound apologetic.

“A bit of magic then, eh? Why that’s no problem, no problem at all, sir,” I reached into my pocket and pulled out my bejeweled Califondian knife in its fine death panther sheath. I leaned forward and flicked the sheath off with my thumb to slide onto the low table between us. His eyes had locked onto the tastefully expensive sheath briefly before he noticed the large jewels covering the handle, hilt, and pommel of the knife, causing his eyes to widen.

I placed my left hand flat on the table and slammed the knife through the back of my hand. The man was left gaping at this unexpected series of events. I smiled and chuckled at him a bit as I pulled the knife out of the back of my hand. I held up my gashed open hand with the back of it towards him as blood poured down the back of my arm. It hurt like hell, but I ignored it. Then I poured my magic into my hand, and we watched together as the flesh knit itself back together.

“My lord,” said Ara chidingly. “We just got all the blood cleaned off of you and you’re all bloody again already?” She sighed huffily at me and I laughed out loud.

“I’d be happy to show it to you using your own hand if you’d prefer, sir, but I wouldn’t want to be accused of attacking a representative of the city lord, so I would need your express permission to stab you first.” I laughed again as the man’s face went green.

“N-no, no, that’s quite alright. I believe you, my lord, and thank you kindly for showing me your magic. I will of course pass along to the city lord that he has a visiting noble that he wasn’t previously aware of staying here at the smithy.” He stood and gave a deep respectful bow as I leaned back and put my arms along the back of the couch again as I grinned at him. I flicked a couple of fingers towards the door in dismissal, and he took my meaning, heading for the door and putting on his cloak.

“Oh, say, before you go,” my words halted him in place as he reached for the door latch, “I suppose you probably rub elbows with a good deal of the nobility in this city. You wouldn’t happen to know where a man could find a good game of liar’s folly around here would you?”