Long night, longer day.

It’s what I deserve, after all.

Waking up was awkward. Looking at a man who really wanted me, and I essentially blue-balled him. Anthony insisted he’d sleep in the same bed as me. I was uncomfortable by it, sure. I should’ve said no. But I already felt bad for cutting off what we did that night. So there he was, sleeping soundly in my room as I got dressed. I shook my head, gritting my teeth at my actions yesterday.

Nothing I can undo, At least I didn’t cheat, right? He woke up eventually, joking about us being a one-night stand. After a fake chuckle, I explained I got work in the morning and I needed to head over there soon. He backed down. The entire time I got my stuff on he took obvious peeks at my body. Not like I helped things, I didn’t say anything, hoping I’d get out of his system after our encounter was over. I made sure not to exchange numbers and we left with no fanfare. No kiss, no hug, just a goodbye and a brisk walk to my car. I hoped he got the message.

Work was another blur. I looked tired and acted the same. Carter knew I was drinking and didn’t take me lightly, Throwing me with hard hip tosses. “Can’t be hungover on the job,” She teased while I looked up at the lights.

I took my break and smoked outside, taking in the cold air. It was another sunny day, with the outdoors as bitter as I was that day. I was scrolling through Twitter, looking at the wrestling news. Oakland Fight Club, a company that started in 2016, was growing bigger and bigger by the year and planned on starting events again sooner rather than later. I was sure Yuya would be there. After all, they could rival The Fed. Thinking about that company made my eyebrow twitch with annoyance. However, I hoped I was able to get my shit together before spots filled. As soon as Yuya crossed my mind, I went to call her.

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After two rings, she picked up. “Yo, Kris! How’s it goin'?”

“It’s going. Christ, It’s a mess, that’s for sure.”

“More drama? Is it about you and Carter?”

I scoffed. I often treated my best friend like my therapist. I felt awful for ranting about my problems, but she insisted on listening to whatever issues I had. “Yeah, but I fucked up.”

Yuya chuckled. “Well, I’m free all day. Tell me what’s the deal.”

I explained what happened last night, with Carter and Anthony. I made periodical glances at the door, checking if anybody eavesdropped on me. Once I was done, She sighed and began to lower her tone, gingerly telling the truth. “So what you did was a dick move, but at least you know it was a dick move. You didn’t exactly cheat, so I won’t give you too much grief,” She started. She came at me with a more assertive tone to chew me out. “But that was way too close, Kris. You can’t get bitter and bottle shit up all the time. Do you love this girl?”

“Ah…Well…” I stammered, truthfully not knowing the answer.

“Look, from the looks of it, both of you don’t know what four-letter word you wanna pick to describe what you two are. Give it serious thought. You can’t bring that into the new year.”

She was right. 2020 was a shit year. I really didn’t want to bring that baggage into 2021 This game of lustful romance. Constantly thinking if she’ll be in my bed tonight or not. “Yeah, you’re right Yuya. I’ll think about it. For real.”

“I’m always right,” She said with a giggle. “Also, Anthony? He sounds familiar.”

“Yeah,” I explained. “Anthony Thomas. From MMW.”

“Hm…” She gave a cautious pause as she remembered the man behind the name. “Let me get back to you on him. I swear I heard some shit about him before.”

I looked at the phone confused. “Good or bad?”

“I’d have to find out. Steer clear of him, though. I don’t like the sound of him good reputation or not.”

“Got it. Love ya Mom.”

“Yeah, yeah, love ya too…” As she hung up, I stared at my phone for a bit, warm in my hand. I pressed my finger on the photo app and scrolled through the pictures. I stopped on a picture of me and Carter, hanging out at the last wrestling show by MMW, only sanctioned under heavy pandemic guidelines.

The date: July 7th, 2020.