???

An explosion. A wave of heat. Pain, in my right arm. The sun, beating down on my face.

I opened my eyes. Sounds of fighting surrounded me, along with burning wood. A sword lay to my side.

Where am I? Well, it doesn’t matter. Got work to do.

I grabbed the sword and got to my feet. My eyes fell on the sources of the trouble, three rebels of some sort. An armored woman, taller than me and holding a giant axe. A man with white healer’s robes over dark skin, and a spear in one hand. A mage, wearing blue and green, with dark, shoulder-length hair.

Kill them all.

The mage conjured a set of icicles, sending them flying into a pair of nearby soldiers. They seemed like the deadliest of the trio. Thinking about it, I remembered fighting them, in that ambush, but… was there more to it than that?

The ice girl is meaningless to you. Eliminate her, now.

I reached for the magic coursing through my blood, and felt it respond. Of course it did. Why wouldn’t it? I threw a lightning bolt at the mage, knocking her back, away from her partners. Before she could rejoin them, I ran towards her, as soldiers engaged the other two.

The mage waved a hand, and more icicles formed around her. I threw a ball of lightning, shattering the icicles in the explosion and driving the mage back again. She was running out of room – she’d backed up almost to the edge of the nearby river.

I raised my sword. Some part of me hesitated-

Do it, Vincent.

I lunged forward, my sword sinking into the mage’s chest. Her eyes went wide, and she fell limp as her lifeforce flowed into me. I kicked her body off the sword, into the river.

Commander William’s voice rung out. “Vincent! Over here!”

Vincent. That’s my name, isn’t it?

I turned back to the rest of the battle. The commander was fighting the other two intruders – taking on the armored woman with his sword, while his fire magic collided with the healer’s blasts of light.

As I headed over, I pieced together the gaps in my recollections. Those three had attacked me last night and knocked me out. Commander William must have gone after them, using his teleportation magic to catch up, then used some of his power to replenish my magic.

I threw a ball of lightning at the two surviving assailants. They faltered as the lightning hit, and the commander followed up with a flame jet. We moved into the space between them, forcing them apart as we each faced one of them.

“The ice girl is dead,” I said to the healer. “You want to join her?”

The healer glared back at me, horror behind his eyes. He gripped his spear with both hands as light magic enveloped it.

“You BASTARD!” he shouted, lunging forward.

I pumped lightning into my blade, swiping at his spear. The weapons collided in an explosion of light and thunder, sending us both stumbling back. Before he could recover, I struck again, driving my sword into his stomach.

The healer’s lifeforce flowed into me, and… why did something feel wrong?

Nothing is wrong. This is what you’re meant for, Vincent. One left.

I shook away the doubts and turned to the last attacker. She had burns over her face and armor, taking hit after hit. She looked frantic, desperate, but as she saw the body of the healer, it gave way to a look of defeat.

I threw a lightning bolt and she dropped, laying on her back in the dirt. The commander turned to me.

“Go ahead,” he said. “She hurt you, take your revenge.”

I stood over the armored woman and raised my sword. Revenge on her? Is that what I want?

Yes, Vincent. It is.

I stabbed down, into her neck. I took in her lifeforce, and… my eyes went to the expression left on her face. Was I imagining things, or did she look… betrayed?

Of course not. She was an enemy, nothing more.

Something was wrong. Images flashed through my mind of things that could have happened, time I could have spent with the three of them. If the commander had shown up just a few hours later. But he hadn’t, and…

My head spun. I staggered away from the woman’s body and dropped to my knees. My stomach heaved, heaved again, until I began to vomit.

The commander’s shadow loomed over me. “What are you doing, Vincent? This isn’t like you.”

I wiped a hand across my mouth and stood back up. “This isn’t how it was supposed to go. I was supposed to talk to them, and…”

An eerie smile spread across the commander’s face. “This is the best way things could have gone, Vincent. This is what you’re meant for.”

“No,” I gasped. “No, it fucking isn’t. You’re the one who was supposed to die here!”

I hurled a lightning bolt at him. He raised a hand, and a jet of flame exploded against it.

The commander opened his mouth, and a voice came out that was not his own. “Why are you fighting it, Vincent? Just give in, and we can fix everything.”

I lunged at him. He parried effortlessly and threw another flame jet, this time into my face.

You aren’t strong enough to challenge your superiors. Just a boy who needs to do what he’s told.

I staggered back, gathering lightning into my chest. Gotta hit him with something. Anything.

Lightning exploded out of me, striking the commander and everything else around. Burns formed on his face, but quickly began to heal.

As I recovered from the spell, flames erupted from the ground around me. I fell back down to my knees, unable to feel anything but searing heat.

The commander leveled his sword at me, a silver glow in his eyes. “Now, Vincent, let’s put an end to this foolishness.”

He stabbed forward, straight through my heart.

----------------------------------------

???

I woke up, my head pounding. Morning light trickled through the trees above me.

I sat up in the grass and raised a hand to brush brown hair out of my face. I looked around for Alice, James, and Rain – they were nowhere to be seen, but they’d left most of their things. Guess they got up early.

As I got to my feet, I heard voices. I followed them, and before long, I found the others. All three of them were huddled together over Rain’s scrying basin.

“Of course,” Alice said. “We’ll do it immediately.”

“Hey,” I called out. “Something come up?”

The other three turned to me, their eyes cold. Rain waved a hand. Ice formed around my feet, rising up to my knees, pinning me in place.

“Wh… what?” I asked. “What the hell is going on?”

“Now that we’ve gotten when we needed from you,” Rain said, “Karla has decided you’re no longer useful. We agree.”

“The fuck?” I shouted. “We had a deal!”

“You didn’t really think you’d get away with it, did you?” James asked. “There’s no making deals with monsters.”

They’ll never accept you. Not really.

No, that… that can’t be right. Can it?

You could never have a real home with them. Only with us.

Alice stepped forward, raising her axe. “Finally, we won’t have to look at you anymore. I’ve been so tired of this.”

“Is that what you’ve thought this whole time?” I asked.

Her eyes glowed silver. “Of course. Goodbye, Vincent.”

She swung around, towards my neck, and-

----------------------------------------

???

I gasped as my eyes opened, finding myself on a stone floor. I was drenched in sweat, and my headache had gotten worse.

“Finally done your nap? Excellent.”

I turned towards the source of the voice. General Silas stood over me, that awful silver glow in his eyes, joined by a disturbing smile.

“I’ve just finished cleaning things up,” he said. His voice felt like it was coming from everywhere at once. “See for yourself.”

The familiar stench of blood and death hung in the air. Near the entrance to the room were three corpses, deep sword wounds in each of them. Corpses of the mercenaries I’d been traveling with, been befriending.

Tears welled up in my eyes, my head continuing to pound. How did this…

“How do you think?” he replied. “You stayed asleep until it was all over. But you couldn’t have changed anything, Vincent. You gave up your powers, and you know how strong we are.”

Is this another trick? He’s put me through what, two dreams already?

“It was always going to go wrong, one way or another,” he said. “Either you would have failed them, or they would have failed you. Vincent, you’ve never had it in you to succeed anywhere other than with me.”

“Fuck off!” I shouted.

I reached for the power inside me. No stolen lifeforce to draw on, but I had my own blood. It’ll have to do.

I raised my right hand and threw a lightning bolt at Silas. An inferno of pain erupted in my veins, far worse than with the smaller spells I’d cast this way, and the skin on my hand began to redden and peel away. A purple disc appeared in front of the general, blocking the lightning completely, then vanished.

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With a scream of agony, I kept going, digging deeper and deeper. Silas conjured disc after disc, effortlessly blocking every shot. Flesh charred and crumbled away, leaving my hands little more than bone. My heart beat faster and faster until I couldn’t feel it anymore, my face burned, my vision blurred into an indistinct sea of red.

“This is useless, Vincent. Give in, and I’ll make everything better.”

My power faded. No more lightning to throw, no more energy to keep standing. The floor rushed up at me, and everything disappeared.

----------------------------------------

???

My head felt like it was about to split open. I grabbed it with both hands, trying to squeeze the pain out as I rolled in the dirt.

When that didn’t work, I forced my eyes open and sat up. The sky was dark red, and the ground below me was a flat expanse of dirt stretching to every horizon. Nothing was growing, the only features in the landscape were small stone rods every dozen or so feet. Grave markers.

I got to my feet, hearing only my own movements. Another jolt from my headache left me doubling over.

End of the road, Vincent.

Blood began to leak out of several of the grave markers. It flowed towards a spot in the middle of the bleeding graves, and pooled together.

The blood darkened, turning black, into bubbling ichor. The ichor flowed upward, forming the shape of a person, then solidified into a woman. She wore simple armor and carried a spear, and her face was hidden by shadows.

I didn’t need to see her face to know who she had to be.

“No justice,” Nadia said. “Just running away from what you did. Fuck you.”

Before I could think of a reply, she turned back into liquid, bubbling into a new shape. When the ichor solidified again, it took the form of Matthew.

“You could have been a real man, Vincent,” Matthew said. “You used to know what that meant. Before you turned into a fucking faggot!”

Matthew swept a hand upwards. The ground below me turned to shadow, and a dozen thin tendrils emerged. They wrapped around my arms and legs and pulled me down, my feet sinking into the ground as if it had turned to tar.

As I struggled against the restraints, Matthew liquified again. My eyes went wide as I saw the new shape, the face I’d seen only in reflections.

My duplicate gave an awful smile, one I must have worn while killing more people than I could count. “Accept it. This is the only thing we were ever meant to be.”

The shadows below me continued to pull. I sank further into the ground, up to my waist. Not like this. There’s gotta be a way out. Right?

You’re not getting out of this, Vincent. You’re persistent, but it’s time for you to go.

Fuck you! Stop reading my thoughts!

More and more of me sank below the surface, until the ground was up to my neck.

There’s nothing to worry about. I’ll turn you into the man you dreamed of becoming. A perfect, fearless warrior.

I’m going to cut you open, and tear back your ribcage, and crush your organs one by one, and...

You see, Vincent? With an attitude like that, you could never be anything but one of-

…Ugh. Deal with it yourself! I’ve almost got him, just need a bit more time!

What?

I held my breath as my head sank below ground. The goo-like shadows surrounding me turned back into dirt, pressing down onto me.

My head continued pounding as I tried to think. Blood magic wouldn’t work, but…

I shivered as a chill went through me. Was it part of what Silas was doing? It felt… familiar, though. Like Rain’s ice magic.

The ice girl is dead. That’s the feeling of your will finally fading away.

Bullshit. You’re fighting them right now, aren’t you? That’s what you were talking about a moment ago.

No response.

If I need an alternative to blood magic, that just leaves sorcery. Inner self, inner self…

This is who you are, Vincent. Stop trying to change that.

No, not anymore. But the girl I want to be… maybe I don’t have to throw away as much as I thought, to become her.

Meaningless nonsense from a deluded brat.

Maybe I’ll never stop being angry, maybe I’ll never really fix or forget the things I did, and… maybe I can still do things I can be proud of, still be someone I can be happy with.

You’ll never be happy with yourself this way. You don’t have it in you, Vincent.

Stop calling me that. My name is VIVIEN!

I felt a clearer image of the woman I wanted to become. She’d still have bad days, sometimes, where she’d get pissed off, or get hung up on the past. And… that would be okay. That was part of what made her someone I could be.

I reached for that image, and power flowed into me.

Around me, lightning crackled, blasting away the dirt. Finally, it really was my lightning.

Flows differently now, it'll take some getting used to. But I can work with this.

I reached up, dragging myself back towards the surface. A hand broke through, into open air, then dragged the rest of myself out. I gasped for breath, and felt my headache start to recede.

My duplicate glared at me with silver eyes. “Don’t you know when to stay down?”

I laughed. “Never have.”

I could see pink hair to the sides of my face. It hadn’t been there before, and I didn’t actually know that spell. Guess the dream is cooperating with me, now.

The duplicate drew its sword and lunged. I countered with a lightning bolt, driving it back. It threw its own lightning bolt towards my chest.

I raised my hands to block, snatching the lightning out of the air like I had with Lilith, and adding my own power to it. I threw it back as an even stronger blast, dropping the duplicate to the ground and knocking the sword out of its hand.

From someplace that wasn’t here, I heard faint sounds of battle.

I ran over, grabbing the sword before the duplicate could. I don’t have the enhanced strength or healing I did as a blood knight, but I’m still damn good with a blade.

The duplicate threw out a wave of lightning. I deflected it, then pumped lightning into my sword. I stabbed into the duplicate’s chest, burning through its armor.

If I can’t fix you, I’ll just have to dispose of you.

The duplicate kept moving, trying to shove me away as ichor oozed out of the hole in its chest. I don’t know what you are or how to finish you off, but I have a better idea.

I sent lightning through my sword, into the duplicate, and reached out further from there. I felt a presence connected to it, watching through a pair of silver eyes. A presence preparing to kill my real body.

“There you are,” I said. “GET OUT OF MY HEAD.”

I pumped more lightning in, towards that presence. All around me, the world screamed.

----------------------------------------

Vivien

A cacophony surrounded me as I returned to consciousness.

My eyes went to General Silas. He recoiled, a hand grabbing his burned face as he dropped the dagger he was holding. Looks like I succeeded in reaching him from the dream, however the hell that works.

“Vivien!” Alice called out.

I jumped to my feet, charred remnants of rope falling away from me. Alice, James, and Rain stood at the entrance of the room, facing off against Lilith – still under Silas’s control – and a blood knight who looked like a living ruby statue. James held a spear of ice in place of his broken one. Alice swung her axe into the knight’s stone fist, driving him back and giving me the chance to run to the others.

“Made it out,” I gasped. “You’re real this time, right?”

James grinned. “I sure hope so.”

Rain conjured an ice sword – one that actually looked sharp, not like the ones Alice and I had sparred with – and passed it to me. “Here. And while we’re at it…”

They touched my shoulder. The hair at the edges of my vision changed, growing longer and turning from brown to pink. A grin spread across my face. Probably could have waited until after we finished fighting for our lives, but I can’t complain.

Lightning crackled in Lilith’s hands as she slammed them together, and a shockwave burst through the room. As we all reeled from it, a beam of purple energy shot out from Silas’s hand, into my stomach. My blood felt like it was solidifying, like my energy was being ripped away.

“If you want this fate so much,” Silas snarled, “then so be it.”

James grabbed my arm. Healing magic flowed into me, clearing out the worst of it. He turned to Lilith and lunged, closing in on her before she could do that again. On the other side of us, the ruby knight swung his sword, covered in stone like the rest of him, and Alice blocked with her axe.

Gripping my new ice sword in my right hand, I reached for the power I’d used in the final dream. Whatever inner spirit stuff I’d accessed there responded again, and a bolt of lightning flew from my left hand towards Silas.

Silas conjured a purple disc, blocking the lightning like in the dream. Looked like he'd used more effort this time, needing a stronger shield to keep up with proper magic. I still didn't have the kind of power I'd had as a blood knight, but I had enough.

More noises came from behind us. Glancing back to the entrance, I saw a dark-skinned woman just outside the room, her back to us as she used a pair of metal whips to fend off soldiers trying to enter. That must be Morgan. Karla said she specializes in shaping the metal in her armor. Guess she’s watching our backs.

Rain joined me, sending a trio of icicles towards Silas. Above us, a familiar hissing sound came from the ceiling. Glancing up, I saw cracks appearing, as acid and melted stone dripped down. Rain and I backed away from the damaged area as Lilith unleashed another sonic blast, this time aimed at those cracks.

With a crash, chunks of ceiling fell down towards where we’d been, spreading out until a substantial hole was left in the roof. It gave a clear view of the morning sky, and of two winged figures fighting above us. I recognized one of them as Captain Xavier, while the other was some sort of giant raven with a few burn marks. The raven had to be the other member of the diversion team. Kai – they have shapeshifting magic, like Noelle.

As Rain and I exchanged another round of spells with Silas, a clanging sound came from near the door. The ruby knight’s sword smashed into Alice’s chest, denting her armor. She’s strong, but it looks like he’s even stronger. That’s a problem.

As the ruby knight raised his sword again, a metal whip wrapped around it. The metal contracted, pulling Morgan into the room – she flew over the ruby knight, withdrawing her whip, then landed on the rubble from the ceiling. Before the ruby knight could recover from the interruption, Alice’s axe slammed into the stone over his torso, leaving it cracked.

From atop the rubble, Morgan looked up at the skirmish in the sky. “Kai! Need a hand?”

Kai swooped down towards the hole in the roof. Morgan swung a whip upward, wrapping it around one of their talons. As Kai flew back up, lifting Morgan into the air, a ball of Xavier’s acid flew towards the pair. Kai dove out of the way, leaving the acid to crash into the floor and begin to eat another hole.

This means no one’s guarding the entrance. Hopefully Morgan blocked the way somehow, but it might not last.

In the meantime, I think I can hold off Silas alone for a bit. Long enough to…

I turned to Rain. “Go help Alice. I got this.”

Rain nodded and headed towards the ruby knight. As they did, I looked back over Silas. He wasn’t fighting the way I’d expected, he didn’t even have a proper weapon. His movements didn’t look like a blood knight’s – they reminded me of Rain’s.

He was never really one of us, was he? He said he was a blood knight, but he uses actual sorcery. We were his weapons this whole time.

But if he's alone, maybe we can handle him.

With Lilith and the ruby knight driven back, I had room to charge back towards Silas, leveling my sword at him. He locked eyes with me, and clenched a fist in front of him. Pain shot through my head, growing as I closed in, becoming unbearable before I could get close enough to stab him. I jumped back, and the pain receded.

Part of me wants to risk it and see what happens. But… no. We’ve got better options.

A pair of crunching noises came from the direction of the ruby knight. I glanced over and saw a spike of ice sticking into the cracked spot in the stone shell around him, while Alice’s axe sat between his eyes.

Silas sent out another draining beam, this time into the ruby knight. The ruby knight’s body crumbled into black smoke, which flowed back towards Silas. As the smoke sank into Silas, a shell of amethyst formed around him, giving him the same statue-like look.

I wasn’t sure how many of my old tricks would hold up with my new magic, and I wasn’t going to try to pump lightning into an ice sword. I threw another lightning bolt, which dissipated against Silas’s barriers. He seems to be focused on defense, and he can probably keep it up for longer than we can afford. Gotta break through before anyone else shows up.

I heard more lightning, joined by a scream from James. Guess he ran out of the stuff he uses to block that. Rain took James’ place against Lilith, while Alice went to guard the room’s entrance.

James joined me as we faced Silas. He touched my back, and I felt a ward strengthen my mind. I charged forward again, feeling the stab of Silas’s psychic attack again, but this time I could handle it.

Silas raised a shield to block a blast of light from James. As he did, his mind magic wavered, and I reached him. I struck, but the pain flared up again, and he blocked with an amethyst-covered arm.

Silas punched me away from him, with strength he definitely didn’t have before taking that stone magic. He stomped down, sending out a wave of energy out along the floor. More floor collapsed where Xavier's acid had hit, forming a hole big enough to jump down through, and Silas ran towards it. Before he could escape, another light blast collided with him, knocking him back and burning away stone.

I threw a lightning bolt, stunning Silas as I lunged. This time, my sword reached the spot James had struck, and sank into Silas’s chest.

The amethyst covering Silas crumbled away, and the headache from his spell faded. As the life left his eyes, Silas looked at me with… confusion. You spent all that time digging around in my head and you still could never really understand. A final feeling of fury flowed through me as I ripped the blade out of his body.

Lilith collapsed to the ground. A moment later, Xavier crashed back down into the room, his wings crumbling into black smoke. Morgan swung down towards him, one whip replaced with a spiked gauntlet. She smashed the spikes into Xavier’s face, and he dropped.

Alice rejoined us in the middle of the room. “It’s over. Time to get out of here.”

Morgan turned to James. “You got enough juice for this?”

“Think so,” James said.

Alice crushed Silas’s skull – may as well be sure – and grabbed the unconscious Lilith. The ice weapons dissipated, as Rain dropped the magic holding them together.

Kai landed on the roof, still in raven form. Morgan helped the rest of us up to join them, and James climbed onto Kai's back. Morgan extended metal from her gauntlets into a cord, and wrapped it around me, Alice, Rain, and Lilith. Kai grabbed us in their talons, and as James passed energy into them, they returned to the air.

After flying for a while, we landed a safe distance away from trouble, and Kai returned to their human form. We’d had to leave everything we couldn’t carry, so we stopped by a town to resupply and get a new wagon.

As we did, the weight of the past few days finally began to sink in. We’d made it, somehow. But if the others had taken just a few more minutes to reach me… Guess that’s another nightmare for the list.

While we loaded Lilith into the new wagon, Kai spoke up. “How is she?”

James frowned. “She's stable, but I haven't had any luck trying to wake her up.”

“Maybe Karla will be able to come up with something,” Rain added.

Before we got moving again, Alice approached me.

“Vivien,” she said. “Are you sticking with us?”

I gave a nervous smile. “If you'll have me.”

Alice laughed. “Of course we will.”

There would be some big ramifications from what we did. None of us were entirely sure what impact this would have on the surviving blood knights, or on the Empire as a whole. But one way or another… hopefully, now, things would be at least a bit better than they were. And whatever it would mean for us, we'd face it together.