I groaned in displeasure as I turned to my left side on the bed. My eyelids were heavy and refused to open despite my efforts. I had always had a problem with waking up in the Morning, ever since as far back as I could remember. Efforts to try and fix this fault had been made but ultimately failed. I had tried sleeping early to have an easier time waking up, but nope, it didn't work. I tried training myself to get into the habit of waking up early by constantly waking up at a specific time in the Morning, but it also failed. I was forever gonna be a slugabed.

I turned to my other side. The sinking feeling I got from my bed made me smile in delight. It was unreal. It was like I was floating. Was my bed always this soft? The temperature was perfect; I wasn’t too hot or cold on any specific side. My sheets were so light that I practically could not feel them.

It was quiet, too, something rare for my Morning. If my alarm clock hadn’t woken me up, my neighbors definitely would. They still hadn't realized they weren't the only ones living in this building. Though I had found them annoying a few times, I was still grateful to them because they saved me from being late for school a few times.

School? That's right, I had school!

I shot open my eyes as I tried to get up from the bed, but I froze from what I saw. Nothingness, or to be more accurate, a blank scenery. An area of whiteness enclosed me. It was as though I was surrounded by thick mist. No, it wasn’t mist, but the background. It was a void. A white void that seems to stretch out infinitely.

All the drowsiness left my body, and I was left gawking in shock. Where was I?

Was this a dream? I looked around, thinking that maybe I was hallucinating, but the same whiteness was always there regardless of where I looked or how much time passed. It looked like this was all real or a very vivid dream.

Eventually, after I had gotten past my shock. I tried to get up but quickly realized that I couldn't because there was a solid floor under me. My hands would pass through empty air every time I tried to leverage myself to set up. I turned my body to be lying on my stomach, but I still couldn’t get up to float vertically.

If it was not for the force that was pulling on my body, I would have been able to orient myself. How was there gravity here? Wasn't this place like space and shouldn't have any gravity? And if gravity was pulling on me right now, why wasn't I falling?

Well, it looks like I will stay horizontally like this for a while.

I crossed my hands and closed my eyes as I fell into thought. I needed to figure out what was going on here. How I got to this place, and how I would get out.

Now, what was the likelihood that this was a dream, and I was simply still in my bed sleeping? Well, it wasn’t very high. What I had been experiencing felt too real to be a dream. I also had no problem organizing my thoughts, unlike in a dream.

Then, was this heaven? Was I dead? But how could I have died, though? I had found it hard to believe that I had died from something or someone. My apartment was one of the safest places in the city I lived in. It would’ve been difficult for someone to walk in and murder me in my sleep, and besides, why would anyone want to kill me?

Being murdered in my sleep was out, so that left the option of dying in a disaster. The building could have been on fire, or it had collapsed due to an earthquake. I could have died in scenarios like this, but I should have at least woken up in the split second before I died.

I scratched my head, parting through my messy black hair. I was getting stumped in trying to find logical reasons as to why I was here. Virtual reality, maybe? I moved my hands around, seeing if I would bump into something I couldn’t see. There was nothing but air, and nothing was attached to my face, so it wasn't VR. That had made sense anyway. The technology on Earth wasn't advanced enough to be this immersive.

“HEY!...... IS ANYBODY HERE!?”

I yelled at the top of my lungs in hopes that maybe whoever or whatever brought me here might show up. I didn’t want to stay in this place for a long period of time because I knew there were some serious psychological side effects to being in a white and quiet place like this. Things like anxiety, hallucinations, and depression.

I waited a few seconds, but nothing appeared. Could it be that I was left alone in here? And no one was actually going to show up? At the thought, my palms felt sweaty, and my heart started to pound in my chest so that I could practically hear it. I was already tired of the white surroundings and extreme silence after only what had been about ten minutes. I couldn't imagine staying in here for days on end till I slowly died from dehydration. Yeah, I wasn’t doing that!

Inhaling, I prepared to shout again, but that’s when a sudden shiver ran down my spine. I wasn’t even given a chance to be confused as a surge of heat flared in my chest. It was like a fire had ignited inside me. I gasped for air, but it felt like I was breathing in molten lava. My vision blurred, and my ears rang with a deafening roar. I squirmed, clutching my heart. It felt like it was about to burst out of my ribcage. I wanted to scream, but no sound came out of my mouth. Something, a presence or an aura, had paralyzed me with pain and fear. It had hurt. It had hurt so badly that I considered biting my tongue off to die.

Then, as suddenly as it started, it stopped. The heat subsided, the roar faded, and the pain eased. I immediately lost consciousness after that.

***

I woke, my eyes shooting open as I stood up to my feet.

Sweat covered my forehead and back as I breathed heavily. A myriad of emotions flashed through me when I realized I was still in the void and everything I had experienced hadn't been a dream. I spread my legs apart and bent down so I could breathe easier. Wait, there is a ground?

It took me a moment, but I finally noticed that there was a floor. It was sort of a floor because it was transparent, like clear glass. Beneath me was also the same infinite whiteness.

"How long was I—" I wasn't able to finish that sentence as something landed on my back. I stumbled, and before I was about to fall, hands wrapped around my neck, stopping me from falling.

“Wha-" A small shout of surprise escaped my lips, but before I could register what was going on. I was pulled back by the arms that were around me, and my back hit something soft. Warm skin touched the left side of my face as an enthusiastic, girlish voice reached my ears.

“Oh good! You’re not broken! I was so worried that I had destroyed your consciousness. I’m so sorry… Are you hurting anywhere? Can you still remember who you are? Can you still think? Arg, what was I asking? Of course, you can still think. Otherwise, there wouldn't be much point in talking to you…..”

She said as she rubbed her face against mine---tightly embracing me. Her voice was enchanting and musical-- and I was sure it could make people turn their heads by how alluring it was.

I was so confused and in shock that I hadn’t heard the things she was saying. Who was she? My heart raced from nervousness at the physical contact. I froze up, not knowing what to do.

Her nuzzling slowly stopped, and I could feel her move her face away from mine.

"Hey, you're alright, right?" She said, as she shook me.

At her actions, I was finally able to come back to the current moment as I replied to her question.

“I…. I-I’m alright.” I said, my voice small, as I felt the sides of my cheeks become warm.

I tried to focus elsewhere, but the bare skin contact on my neck and the soft feeling I was getting from my back made it hard. Arg, why was I reacting like this!? I had just met this person, and I hadn't even seen her face, and yet I was acting like my crush had just given me a kiss!

“Are you sure, though? You were drowning in my essence. And you’re just a mortal! A god would have been intimidated by that.”

I nodded. Her arms moved along with the softness that was behind her. A tinge of disappointment went through me at her distancing, but it didn't last for long.

"Man, You're tough! Most mortals would have died on the spot, and weaker gods would be sweating buckets,” She said with a giggle, "but you're telling me you survived that and came out with little to no side effects? That’s pretty amazing!”

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She floated beside me, her long black dress fluttering behind her, till eventually, she stopped in front of me.

A cosmic beauty with raven-black hair that cascaded down to her knees. Her skin was dark and smooth, contrasting with her blood-red eyes that glowed with power. Her face was refined, with full lips and a straight nose. She wore a form-fitting dress that hugged her curves and displayed her ample cleavage. The dress was black, but it shimmered with the light of stars and galaxies that seemed to move on its surface.

If she wasn’t a figment of my imagination for having stayed in here for too long. I would have to guess that she is a god.

“Um-hum,” She said as she gave me a nod, "You can call me Utna! I am a chaos god,” She said as she gave me a peace sign and a beaming smile, “And I'm real. You're not losing your mind!”

I widened my eyes in surprise before stilling my expression. Why was I surprised? She had just admitted that she was an actual god, so why was mind reading a shocker?

Though chaos god, huh? Did she spread chaos and destruction wherever she went? But She had pegged me as someone who would do that. Well, not that I have known her for long, though, since I've just met her.

“You don’t have to worry! I’m not evil. I’m more…. Fun-- Yeah, that’s the word. I don’t go around destroying stuff for no reason. That’s Shesdall’s job anyway.”

After she had said that an earthquake had hit the void so violently that I almost fell on my butt. I held my balance as I looked at the goddess for answers.

“Oops.”

I heard her mutter, as she had a sort of embarrassed look on her face. Why ‘oops’? What did she do!?

She looked away from me and seemed to space out for a few seconds. The rumbling stopped, and I heard her sigh in relief. What the hell was that!?

"Oh, don't worry about that. It was umm….. The person I mentioned just now trying to enter our domain, but I just got rid of him. You don't have to worry. Oh yeah, take this as a tip! Don’t use a god’s true name lest you want them to appear.”

So that was what had happened? I was scared for a second that something dangerous was about to occur. However, what had just happened only made me want to go home even more. I rubbed my head as I sighed. Well, it was all well and good, but since she brought me here, could she send me back?

Her face clouded up in confusion, and she tilted her head to the side.

“But I didn’t bring you here, though?”

I blinked twice as I went through my third shock of the day. What!?

Was she serious? Well, fine, who cared how I got here. Could you send me back?

“Sorry, but no can do. You know you’re dead, right? It would be hard and annoying to do that, considering that your world isn’t one of mine. I don't want to be nagged again by the others saying that I was touching what wasn't mine. Soooo…. Sorry? But I will have to give you a hard no!'”

She crossed her arms in an 'x' as she shook her head from side to side.

Dead? I thought as I remained quiet, digesting the word. I wasn’t sad, angry, or in denial. In fact, I didn't feel anything. I supposed it made sense that I could only meet a god if I had been dead. Holding out hope from the start had been a stupid idea. People didn't just magically disappear back on Earth, so why would it have been different for me?

What was done was done, I guessed. I was dead, and the only thing I could do was look forward. Though I was curious now: How did I die?

I looked at the goddess for an answer, and she just shrugged.

“I don’t know, your world is not designated under me, soooo.”

I sighed in resignation. Well, whatever. What I should have been focused on was what was going to happen to me now. Was I going to be sent to heaven? Hell? Somewhere else completely different? Or was I going to be reincarnated like in novels?

“What's going to happen now?” I asked casually. Though, in truth, I was nervous about her answer. I didn't want to be sent to hell or a place like it if it existed. I hadn't been a bad person in my life, so I hoped it would account for something.

She looked at me before she quietly laughed to herself. Her eye shifted away from me and then shifted upwards. She tilted her head so that it almost touched her shoulder.

“That depends on you.” She finally said after more than 20 seconds had passed.

I looked at her quizzically, wanting more detail, so she explained what she meant.

“A situation like yours is really out of the ordinary. Normally, when a mortal dies, their soul gets absorbed by the environment, and they are gone for good without being able to ever meet a god," She shrugged before raising three fingers on her hand, "But you can count yourself lucky that you ended up in my domain. Anyway, you’ve got three choices.”

"First, you can stay and live here in my domain, but I doubt that we would want that since you would go crazy from boredom here. And I personally would have a problem with you staying here. I need to relax and release my essence sometimes, and I can’t do that with you here.”

She lowered a finger, and as she did so, I couldn't help but nod in agreement. I didn't want to stay here any more than necessary.

“Second, I can send you as you are back to the lower worlds, but I know that you will definitely hate this option.”

“Because I would get absorbed?” I said, recalling what I had heard earlier.

"Um-hum, you would die for good this time. The essence that makes up your soul will be ripped from you by whatever particle, atom, or molecule comes in contact with you. Which is everything in the world, so air molecules, the ground, the vegetation, basically anything that was made out of matter, it is going to take a chunk out of you. And, umm…. do you want me to continue?”

“No, that’s fine.”

I had gotten the idea when she first said absorbed. It seemed that the physical world wasn’t very kind to souls. Though, this meant I only had one option, the one she was about to state.

Her middle finger went down, only leaving the index finger. She smiled thinly as she took her time before she talked, enjoying the suspense on my face.

“Or you can become my apostle!”

I froze as I got the same feeling as when she had said the other god's name. Though I had gotten distracted at the time because of the earthquake, it was still stupid of me not to question this. But how was I able to recognize the meaning of these words despite never hearing them before?

"A@#*&%%." I repeated the word to myself, but it came out not sounding right.

“Don’t hurt yourself. You won’t be able to say it. It’s a language of the divine.”

"Okay, what does that word mean then?” I asked.

“But, You should know it?”

“I just want you to explain it so I can be sure.”

She sighed.

"It's a name that's given to mortals that have become a half-god after making a contract with a god."

What she had explained was a watered-down of what was shoved into my head, but they both matched.

“If I become this A@#*--…. if I make this contract with you, will you reincarnate me?”

"It's incarnate and not reincarnate if you’re a god, even if you’ll be partly one, but sure. I would have normally let you do it yourself but as an apology for earlier. I will spare the essence to build you a body.”

“Cool, so? How do we get started?” I said excitedly. She got close and extended out her hand in a handshake.

"First, we'll have to make you into an Apostle.”

I raised an eyebrow. Did she want me to hold her hand? I looked at her as I asked.

“So I just have to hold your hand?”

“Yep, that’s all,” She said with a smile.

I reached for her hand while, wondering what being a half-god would be like.

As I touched her hand, a sudden chill ran down my spine, causing me to retreat my hand in reflex.

“Are you alright?” She asked, looking perplexed and curious.

“Ahh, yeah… yeah… I’m fine,” I said hiding the slight tremor in my voice.

I shook my hand and grabbed her extended hand.

My body stopped tensing up, and I relaxed.

Did I just imagine that? I thought as I remember back on the feeling.

An off putting feeling like something was just not right.

“Okay…. Ohh, and Sorry about this, but this might hurt a bit.” She said apologetically.

"What!?”

A wave of something hot traveled through my arm and spread out to the rest of my body. I gasped as I felt my body- no, my very soul—charging. It was painful. My flesh and bones were being torn apart and reassembled. I screamed and tried to let go, but I couldn’t. Something besides her grip was holding onto me. I felt her in my mind, overwhelming my thoughts and emotions. I felt her in the deepest parts of my very being.

Knowledge ingrained itself onto my soul, and I was experiencing things that I normally shouldn't be able to. Everything was slow. Information from the new senses and the one I got from the goddess overloaded my mind.

I could no longer scream, or more accurately, I didn't know how to scream. My mind was processing too much to even register the pain I was feeling. I then fell unconscious as everything stopped and went dark.

***

“Perhaps--------- much? maybe ---------power---longer."

I heard what I think was the goddess' voice as I slowly came back to consciousness. I was starting to feel a bit of deja vu from the repeated passing out I was going through. Opening my eyes, I was greeted with a pair of red pupils above me, staring down at me.

“Welcome back! So how do you feel?” She said with the same enthusiasm she gave me when we first met.

Hmm, maybe dying wasn't so bad after all! I thought after receiving the beautiful view I was given now. She had given me a lap pillow. A close-up view of her two assets made my heart skip a beat when I first opened my eyes. They were much bigger close-up like this!

I wiggled my head, savoring the softness of her thighs. This was the best! It had been my first time receiving a lap pillow because I'd never had a girlfriend, but this moment had me questioning why I hadn't tried to get one sooner.

"I see! I'm glad you like this form! I originally took it because I learned that humans appreciated the beauty of their females, and they found them less intimidating to be around than the male equivalent. But... I see… you especially like this form. I’ll try to wear it more often for you,” She Said with a chuckle.

I turned my head to look away from her. If I could see myself, I was sure that my cheeks had turned red. Damn! I forgot that she could read my mind! I needed to be more careful.

I took a deep breath to stop myself from being flustered, but it didn’t work. I focused on the changes that happened in my body to keep my mind occupied. Raising my hand to my face, I looked at it with what I could call a sixth sense.

“Is this how normally Apostles see?” I asked, changing the topic.

My eyesight, or rather my sense, had changed. There were more of them, and the ones I already had were enhanced. I hadn't noticed right away while I was looking at the goddess, but when I looked at my hand. I could feel or see to better describe the new sense.

The new sense was like a spectator mode that you usually get in video games. I could see any part of my body, like the bones, muscles, and even my very cells. The image I received in my head was clear, and all I had to do was imagine what I wanted to see about myself, and I would see it.

I imagined going outside my body and looking at myself, and then I imagined removing every part of my body except the brain and nervous system. I wanted to test out the ability. Drawn Images of the nervous system have been made on things like textbooks back on Earth. I wondered how accurate they were if I were to compare it with the real thing. An image of a somewhat humanoid made out of tiny thousands upon thousands of strands that were connected to a brain appeared.

This might have been a bad idea. It’s so gross! I thought as I shook my head, trying to remove the clear image from my mind. I decided that I needed to be more careful with that. Otherwise, I was going to scar my mind.

I looked at the goddess again and was about to ask her again about this new ability when I realized something. How did a soul have muscles and bone structures and stuff? Weren’t they supposed to be more spiritual and not so biological?

“It’s because you are simply mimicking your body.” The goddess said.

“You'll have to learn to stop it because it's a waste of processing power, though small as it may be…. Anyway, that new 'sense' you call it is how the divine sees the world. The essence that’s replicating the metabolism of your human form is providing the information that’s giving you this new sense. Isn't essence amazing!? Even right now, you're using it to think, and unlike the physical brain, which has limits to how much it can remember and process, the essence doesn't; you can simply increase your intelligence and memory capacity by increasing the essence in your soul.”

“I see," I said, nodding my head.

"I’m glad that you understand! Now… umm… would you get off of me? You've been awake for a while now. We're sure you can stand, right?"

“….”

Her legs shifted under me, and I could feel her ready to knock me off.

"..…….. Ahh, I-I still feel a bit dizzy. My head, in fact, is… it's killing me!" I said as I grabbed my head with my hand and groaned.

She stared at me for a while before she sighed and stopped moving. I did a mental fist pump as I unconsciously smiled.

“Well, it should be fine, I guess? I can give you this for a few more seconds till I send you off," She said, shrugging her shoulders.

Send me off? That's when I remembered that I was going to be reincarnated. I was so stupid! How could I have forgotten something like that! I could have been asking questions about my new destination instead of having acted like a horny teenager! Where was I going, back to Earth? No, I doubted that she had specifically said that Earth wasn’t one of her worlds and that she couldn’t interfere with it. Why would she send her apostle to another god's territory? So it had to be one of her worlds.

My mind went into hyperdrive, moving much faster than I normally would have thought possible. I thought about the things I needed to know. Like if the world I was going to had magic, if I had magic and how I could use it, the language, the civilization of the place, etc. Deciding on a question, I moved to open my mouth to speak, but I was never able to even start the sentence as everything went dark.