“I-I'm sorry Ian.. Binary is asleep.” I still find it hard to speak his name like this. But he forced me so I have no choice but to obey. I look down at my hands, fidgeting with my fingers, trying to find something to say, anything to distract myself from the fear bubbling inside me.
“It's okay,” Ian replied, his voice soft and gentle. “We can just hang out here, watch a movie or something.”
I look up at him, and our eyes met. His eyes were warm and comforting, but I couldn't shake the feeling of unease that had settled in the pit of my stomach. Ian is being kind to me, but he always makes me feel like I am constantly on edge.
He sits down on the couch next to me, and I scoots away, trying to put as much distance between us as possible. Ian seems to notice my discomfort and he sighs, running a hand through his hair.
“I know you're scared of me, but I promise you have nothing to worry about. I would never hurt you. Just give me a chance,” he says, his voice firm but gentle.
I nod at him, not sure what to say.
Ian reaches out to take my hand in his, and I flinches at his touch. He lets go immediately, looking at me with concern.
“Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just want you to know that I care about you, and I would never do anything to hurt you,” he says.
I forced a small smile, grateful for his kindness but still unable to shake off the fear. We sat there in silence for a while, watching the movie on the TV screen, but my mind was elsewhere. I couldn't focus on the film, couldn't stop thinking about the fact that I was alone with this man who scares me.
“I-I think I'll start cooking now. Do you have a specific dish that you want to eat?”
“Haha. You?”
Ugh..
“Sorry. That was creepy. I'm making a joke. I will eat anything you'd cook.”
“.............” I just don't want to say anything now. I guess I'll just cook. At least that way... Sigh.. I want to end this as soon as possible.
I can feel his gaze scrutinizing me from head to toe. I can't focus on cooking because of this discomfort. I don't like it. But there's nothing I can do. Besides, it's just looking at me. I'm very uncomfortable but I must endure. For my grandmother. For nanay Maria— !!
“M-Mr. Doccia.....?! W-what are you doing?” He's kissing my neck from behind while his hands are around my waist. I don't like this. It's gross! “Please... You can't do this...”
“It's okay.” He kisses my earlobe, then his lips brush against my left cheek. My face becomes cold. It feels so weird. “You don't need to be afraid of me. I'll protect you~” I push him off of me, breathing heavily. Why does he have to be so.... Creepy?! I want to run away. I just want to leave. He said he doesn't want my body yet... He's just really.. really a pervert!
“N-No.. it's not right.. please don't...” I feel like crying already. But he doesn't stop. He begins to raise his hands towards my chest. I feel cold. I feel heavy. I need to go away. But I need him. I need this man to stay. “I don't want this. Please.. Stop.”
“Shh… shhh… you're safe here. Don't worry.” He leans back down, his mouth grazing my collarbone, and his hands grab my hips tightly, almost painfully.
The thought of him having his way with me scares me. But what can I even do? I'm powerless. I can't even run away. I need to do this to save nanay Maria. I have... Even if I have— I have to... I-I have to sacrifice myself. This is fine. I should just resign to it. If this is my fate, I will embrace it. But lord, please make sure my family will be safe. I don't mind if I have to suffer. Just take care of them. Take care of my sister. Take care of Nanay Maria. Please. Please, my lord.
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I close my eyes letting go of any resistance...
*CLANK!*
“!” Something metallic hit Mr. Ian in the head. He falls onto the ground but he isn't unconscious.
“Ugh— W-what?” He seems confused. So do I. What just happened— Oh no. He's head is bleeding, I have to patch it up—
“S-stay away from my ate you..” It's Binary. I thought she was already asleep. She's holding a small frying pan with her small hands. She's shaking but the way she looks is very fierce.
“Binary—”
“You— That hurts! Why did you do that?!” Mr. Ian is angry. I have to protect Binary.
“S-shut up! You're hurting my sister... Get away from her!” Binary steps up in front of me. But I'm the one that supposed to be protecting you!
“She's my girlfriend... I don't find something wrong with what I was doing. In fact it's a show of affection. You just don't know anything you stu— you brat!” He stands up. He's so tall. Why did I never noticed before? He's so scary. What do I do? We have to run.
“N-n-no..! My teacher said... about consent... Ate Lucy didn't want it... She doesn't like it... So it's just... Um... a harassment...!” She's shaking so much. I'm not the only one who's scared. Yet how can she stands up against him like this?
“Ha! Really? You are really ignorant, child. Why don't we ask your ‘ate Lucy’ whether she was consenting or not?”
“?!”
“O-of course she doesn't want it! I saw her face... She hates it!”
“Shut up. It's your sister that should say it herself.”
Do I like it? Of course not. I got scared when I saw him bleed, but also felt incredibly relieved. I just don't want it. In fact, I hate it. It's disgusting.
“What? Lucy? You should answer. Did you like it or not?” He looks so smug. Because of the blood flowing down his face, he looks fearsome.
“Ate Lucy..?” Binary looks worried sick. She's scared to face a tall obnoxious guy like him yet... What am I doing? I'm the older sister. I'm far more older than her. She's just a child yet she is very courageous.
‘How can you possibly get what you want if you just stand there leaving it in the hands of others? You're letting them decide whether you should get it or not.’
‘You're so naive Lucy. You're narrow-minded. Do you really think you can protect them? You left that decision to somebody else's hand. It's not in your hands anymore. They and you are at the mercy of others.’
You're right Mr. Reverren. I wanted to preserve my chastity... I wanted to save nanay Maria... I wanted to protect Binary... Yet.. What am I doing...? I'm here standing behind the one I should protect. I could make Mr. Ian stop yet I quickly resigned myself to fate. If I hadn't taken his hands, if I just loaned from the bank or something, Binary and I wouldn't have to deal with him. He will just go away. Yet I gave him power over me.
“I..”
I have to do something instead of just being passive.
“Lucy.”
I have my lord by my side. There's no need to fear. I'll just do what I can... and leave the rest in his hands. He will protect me.
“Ate...?”
“Binary...” I pat her head. “I'm alright. Go back to sleep.”
“But—”
“Just trust me... please,” I give her a reassuring glance. “..and sleep. Leave this to me.”
“.............” I watch Binary go back to her room. She is still worried but she obeyed me. I don't know if she can sleep but she will stay in her room.
“Hmmp.” Mr. Ian snorts in disdain. “You didn't answer in the end.”
“I don't want my younger sister to be involved in our matters.” I look him in the eyes. I don't know what I'm feeling right now. But for the first time, I saw his face completely. It's not that... scary. He's skinny and pale. No redeeming features. He just looks stern. “My answer is no. I hate it. So much.”
“Oh,” he looks surprised. “Ha. You're legs are shaking Lucy. Maybe you'll even piss your pants.”
He tries to grab my shoulder but I dodge to the side, “Hoh. Do you not want to save your grandmother anymore?”
“I am still your girlfriend, but I'm setting up my boundaries. Didn't you say you are not aiming for my body in the first place? Then act on it, Ian.”
“.............” He isn't replying. Is he angry? Don't be afraid. We have to be firm. “Hmmp. We'll see how long you can endure like that.”
He turns around walking towards the door. I feel relieved, “I heard you sigh. Relieved? Heh. BINARY YOU STUPID BRAT, LISTEN!”
“?!”
W-what is he planning this time?
“Hahaha! Your sister... You see... Your ate Lucy sold herself to me so that she can save your dying ‘nanay Maria’. And oh, did she tell you yet? SHE'S SENDING HER TO MANILA BY TOMORROW! So you should tell her your goodbyes because she'll be going there all ALONE!”
Oh no. You bastard... You're really evil!
“Good-bye Lucy. I'll see you tomorrow,” he waves his hand mockingly.
And then I hear a rushing footsteps towards me.