I Won't Abandon You, Elizabeth

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It may be a new day but there's no change in my beautiful relationship with my sweet girlfriend. Eli-chan is still acting cold and distant. Hell! She's even hostile.

I am aware that's not her true feelings though. I know Crystal did something or told her something that is now forcing her to stay away from me.

I questioned Crystal about it yesterday when I got home in hopes to gain some clues but that little devil just laughed at me.

I knew Eli-chan became insecure when Mae-chan transferred to our class. Then the situation about me not listening to her sing on stage happened.

I tried my best to convince her it's not that I didn't want to listen to her, but because Ma'am Iris ordered me to bring the new locker to our room that I couldn't listen to her sing live.

Even though I had a recording confirming it, Elizabeth didn't listen to me. That time I wondered why something so small can get a big reaction from her like that.

It's not like I cheated or something. I don't know why she was jealous at that time...

“—!!” I stand up and slap my desk.

*Bam!*

The classroom falls silent, every gaze converging on me. With a chilly tone, Ma'am Iris asks, “Is there something you'd like to share with the class, Mr. Reverren?”

Well this is awkward. I smile wryly as I apologize, “I'm sorry po ma'am. My wound aches all of a sudden.”

“Well... Please take your seat,” Ma'am Iris looks guilty. “Anyway, going back to our topic..”

I sit back down to continue my contemplation.

Fufufu.

I see now, fufufu.

I understand now. No wonder she was never convinced. I was trying to prove something completely different to what she wanted to know.

It's not about me not listening to her sing in public. It was because she caught me with Mae-chan back then!

It didn't cross my mind at all.

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No wonder... It's no wonder she became somewhat stable when I became affectionate to her.

Eli-chan became insecure when Mae-chan came back to town. Fueled by what happened with my mom, she became even more insecure. She thought considering all the complexities, I'll be leaving her for Mae-chan.

In that pivotal moment when she caught me with Mae-chan, instead of listening to her singing, her trust shattered. It was as if her worst fears materialized before her eyes, confirming her suspicions that I entertained thoughts of abandoning her.

I broke her heart.

The devastation she felt awakened her defense mechanism of leaving first. She doesn't wanna be left behind hence she wanted to leave me first.

But, beneath the surface, she harbored an inner conflict. Despite her inclination to leave, a part of her yearned to stay. This internal struggle became apparent through the arrangement she proposed— a deal forged between us, serving as both a plea and a testament to her deep-seated turmoil and the longing to mend our fractured relationship.

“You may touch me but you'll have to woo Ma'am Iris. And then I can leave.”

It was an excuse so that she could stay by my side. She knows Ma'am Iris is a cold woman who won't ever fall for her student, that's why she chose her as her “replacement.”

Because, “...she won't leave until I have a new one...” That's what she told herself so that she could stay.

She gave me enough time to address our underlying issue. Subconsciously, or consciously, Eli-chan bought me time to reassure her fearful and confused heart.

And when I brought her home, that's when everything finally went back to normal. That's when she finally understood that even though Mae-chan is back, I won't leave her for her. Or that's how it should have been, if only Crystal didn't intervene.

And now, even though she wants to stay, she can't afford to. Even though she loves me, she has to leave me.

That's why she's making me hate her by avoiding me and being cold in our relationship. It's to make it easier to leave.

So that's why it seemed contradictory. Despite her facade of disdain and distance, her underlying emotions betrayed her true feelings. Her apparent hate and coldness were mere pretenses, hiding her deep-rooted affection for me.

That's why despite what she says, when she sees me interacting with Mae-chan, it ignites her feelings of jealousy and anger, which are stark indicators of her genuine love and fear of losing me.

I look at Mae-chan and mumble under my breath, “It looks like I have to avoid her..”

“What can make Eli-chan cast aside her own desire? What did Crystal blackmail her with?”

Until I can figure out what's going on and solve it, to buy time, I have to make it hard for Eli-chan to leave. I need to give her reasons to stay. I need to fuel her love for me.

I need to give her an incentive.

I must deepen her love to such an extent that it empowers her with the courage and determination to overcome any obstacle Crystal has placed in her path.

I look behind me and behold my beautiful girlfriend, her gaze fixed on Ma'am Iris, her expression devoid of emotion. The breeze from the electric fan caresses her face, causing her silky brown hair to flutter in the air.

It must be hard to live your day unable to get what you want. It must be hard to deal with all the internal conflicts you're feeling. It must be hard to fight against yourself.

Like a starving wolf constantly seeing a fresh meat right in front of its face, but unable to take a bite. You get frustrated, you get angry. If only you can get rid of your desire, it won't be so hard on yourself.

But fufufufu....

I am NOT going to let you do that.

I won't abandon you, Elizabeth.