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Doubt

Doubt can be a funny thing. It can paralyze its victims, freezing them still as their lives begin to pass them by, trapping them in mediocrity. It is a curse that many struggle against. Doubt can also save the lives of those it speaks to, warning its charges of the potentially perilous outcomes of their decisions and protecting them from dangerous and destructive mistakes. When it comes to magic, the presence of doubt can be an insurmountable obstacle, the failure to commit to one's own intentions can make magic fail, or go awry in ways that wreak havoc. To listen to one's own doubt is a wise decision, but sometimes danger is worth facing in spite of the fear that doubt inspires.

Cora felt pinned and helpless in the gaze of the magnificent creature before her. The sight alone nearly brought her to tears, but the energy he was emitting washed over her like the waves of the ocean, powerful and repetitive, crashing into her again and again leaving her gasping for air and threatening to pull her under. All she could do was sit motionless at his feet, staring up at him with her mouth agape.

“Do not fear, child, the danger is passed. You are now under my protection.” His voice was not the earth-rattling, booming baritone you would expect from his intimidating presence, but a sweet, soft sound, as if a lover were whispering to you at a volume only you could hear. Cora was so overwhelmed that she could not keep from shaking, she could not process the words being said to her, or what was happening around her, for a moment she even forgot Rascal as he sat right beside her.

“My intent was to carry her through quickly enough that the dangers here would take no notice of us.” Rascal began explaining himself to the being before them. “I know myself to be able to outrun them.”

“If that were true, then you wouldn’t have needed to call me.” The being chastised. Rascal once again lowered his head in shame. Their conversation has allowed Cora time to come to her senses.

“Rascal, who is this?” she asked in a forced whisper, still unable to look away from the thing in front of her.

“I am the Sentry, child, this domain is mine to protect.” The empty eyed gaze of the overwhelming presence returned to her as it answered.

“Protect?” Her question was meant to be more elaborate than that but upon being caught in its gaze once again she found herself having trouble speaking.

“Yes, you see spaces such as this are delicate, any amount of magic could lead to disaster, and many dangers lurk among these woods to prey upon travelers. It is my duty to ensure that this place and those who must pass through it remain safe.” The being explained, it’s tone mirroring that of a grandparent introducing a young child to something new. “And you,” It turned its gaze back to the panther, “are meant to lead travelers safely through my realm when it is their time. You are not meant to allow your charge to fall into a trap by neglecting to warn them of the dangers this place holds.” Its tone was harsher now. The panther simply sat, sulking the way that cats do when they are scolded.

For a moment Cora looked at him and nostalgically recalled all the times she had scolded her roommate's little pet cat for this or that, then it clicked for her that he had always known exactly what he was doing when he knocked things off of shelves or stole food off her plate. The nostalgia faded quickly.

“So, what happens now?” She asked, really to either of them, unsure of which would answer.

“ Now. child, I take the two of you to where you will pass through, and your guide will fulfill his role.” The second part of the beings answer seemed rather pointed, but Rascal kept his head lowered and did not respond. “Come.” The being began to shift again, losing its comprehensible form and reverting to the form that Cora’s eyes could not make sense of. She could not even tell that it was moving until Rascal rose to his feet and began to nudge her after it. With his assistance she was able to follow the being through the wood. It felt as though very little time had passed since they had entered the wood, but her body ached as though she hadn’t slept for days. Rascal seemed to take note of her exhaustion, and nudged his head under her arm, trying to get her to return to laying on his back for the journey. She obliged, throwing a leg over his back and laying her head into the soft fur of his neck, just barely managing to cling to both him and consciousness.

She opened her eyes somewhere discernibly different from the place she had closed them. As she hazily attempted to piece together her surroundings, Rascal spoke.

“We are at the place of passing through, you must be awake for this part.”

She sat upright on his back, bleary eyed and let out a yawn. “Why?” She asked as she rubbed her eyes clear.

“Another way we safeguard the worlds from accidental visitors,” The Sentry explained. “In order to pass through, you must be aware that you are doing so, and you must consent.”

“I have to tell the portal it’s ok to take me away?” She asked, still groggy.

“Not quite,” Rascal chimed in, “Intention is all it requires.”

Cora slid off Rascals back, looking around for some kind of portal to walk through. “Where is it?” She eventually asked when she failed to find it.

“It is here child, all you must do is walk through.” The Sentry explained.

“Walk through where?” she asked.

“There isn’t a specific spot Cora, just hold what you are doing in mind and walk forward. You will find the other side.” Rascal answered.

Cora took a deep breath in preparation, closing her eyes and focusing her mind. “You are coming too though right?” She stopped herself at the last moment to be sure.

“Yes Cora I am coming with you,” Rascal answered, “You will have need of me for some time yet.”

Cora nods, feeling assured, and once again prepares herself to pass through. She takes a deep breath in, closes her eyes, and as she steps forward she thinks very hard how she must go through.

“Must you though?” The sound of a woman's voice causes her to open her eyes in surprise. All around her darkness seemed to have consumed the world. She stood alone on top of nothing, staring out into endlessly more nothing.

“Who's there?” She demanded turning to look around but finding the same endless void in all directions.

“Do not trouble yourself with that dear, instead you should focus your concern on where it is you are going.” Cora could not determine the source of the voice, no matter how much she spun herself about in the emptiness.

“I am going to the Favored Wood.” Cora answered with certainty.

“The Favored Wood? Oh dear, whyever would you want to go there?” The voice questioned.

“The trials..” Cora began, but was almost immediately cut off.

“Ah, you wish to win yourself a prince.” The voice interrupted.

“Well no,” Cora corrected, “Rascal said the only way to call off the betrothal was to complete the trials, that I’ll get the chance to choose.”

“Ah, then it’s freedom you wish, not the prince, not the adventure, not the Favored Wood.” The voice responded “I can give you freedom girl, no adventure required.”

“But Rascal said..” Cora objected.

“Nevermind the cat dear,” The voice stopped her again, “ it is his job to get you to the trial, not to tell you the truth. I can grant you freedom if you wish, all you must do is ask me for it.”

Cora pondered this a moment, Rascal had been pretending to be various ordinary cats for most of her life, perhaps this was all a trick. Then again, she had no real reason to trust this voice either.

“What will it be, girl?” The voice returned, once more interrupting her thoughts. “I am becoming impatient.”

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Cora suddenly felt very uncertain about all of this. She didn’t even know what these trials were supposed to be, what would be the consequences for failing, why she was even doing this.

“What happens if I accept your offer?” Cora asks the void the voice seems to come from.

“You arrive at home, with all of your belongings in their place, as if you had never left. Your roommate will have no memory of your excuse and no evidence of this little adventure will exist.”

“And the engagement?” Cora questioned further.

“Broken.” The voice answered.

Cora stood silent for a moment, deep in thought. This was what she wanted, with much less work involved. She didn’t even know what these trials were, let alone the consequences for failing them, she wasn’t even truly certain why she had agreed to this in the first place. What would've happened if she had simply refused to follow Rascal here? Declined the summons? What would anyone have been able to do about it?

“Your answer, child.” The voice beckoned.

She had followed her roommate's cat here to face some unknown trials in order to break an engagement to a boy she barely remembered. With no threat of consequences she had driven all day, fooled her roommate into believing her beloved pet had fled, and almost been eaten in an attempt to get to some other plane of existence full of unknown dangers. Why?

“YOUR ANSWER.” The voice rang louder, angrier in her ears but still she remained lost in thought.

She thought back on the life she had left. She was working full time in a retail job to afford her half of the rent for a two bedroom apartment she shared with her roommate, she had dropped out of college halfway through because she couldn’t commit to a degree, she had been on an endless stream of first dates with all kinds of people that just never seemed right, she was floating through life with no direction or purpose, unnoticed by the rest of the world.

“NOW” the voice sounded furious, and her ears were ringing from the volume.

The thought of returning to that life now, after being so close to something new and exciting made her feel empty inside. Maybe she wanted an adventure after all.

“I want to go to The Favored Wood.” this time her voice rang with conviction, and the void fell silent.

As Cora’s intentions solidified and her resolve strengthened, the world around her did just the opposite. The void she was enveloped in began to shift and pulse, she went from standing in nothingness to falling, spinning around through the air as she tumbled round and round until she could no longer be certain what direction she had started falling from. The void around her began to fill, first with light, then color and sound, all falling past her as she spun endlessly through the air. If she hit the ground at this speed, she would surely splatter against it. As the world around her took form Cora braced herself for some kind of impact, only to find herself standing perfectly upright in the middle of the woods. Her head spun and her chest heaved with breath as she spun around, disoriented and alone in an unfamiliar place. Where had she landed, and how for that matter? Her legs did not ache at the joints as if she had landed on her feet, she had been falling and suddenly she simply was not. How curious.

Didn’t Rascal say he would be coming with her?

“Rascal?” She called out into the woods. Had she failed to pass through the portal? No, the woods here were different from the ones she was in before, the light was warmer and brighter compared to the cool blue tones of the forest she left. The forest here seemed peaceful, the ground did not shift beneath her feet, the air was warm and a soft breeze danced through the leaves, a welcome sense of calm seemed to settle all around her. If this was the Favored Wood, she thought she might enjoy her visit after all.

For a lack of better ideas, Cora picked a direction and began to walk. The forest remained just as pleasant as she wandered through, though it showed no signs of ending and all she could seem to find were more trees. Ever so often, she would try calling out to Rascal again, but she couldn’t seem to find him. She couldn’t seem to find anything. After what felt like almost half an hour of walking, she began to feel as though she had made a mistake. Isn’t the popular advice when lost or separated to stay put and wait to be found? Rascal presumably knew where she was going to be, but now she was quite a ways away from where she first appeared, would he be able to find her now that she had wandered so far? A seed of panic and dread had been planted in her stomach, and slowly it began to grow, spreading through her body as she waited in the woods for rescue.

It seemed as though it had been hours since she stopped moving, not that there was any real way to tell, the light in the forest had not changed. Nothing in the forest had changed. Cora sighed, leaning her head back against the tree she had set up under to wait. The wind chilled the warm tears that slid down her cheeks as her frustration and exhaustion finally overwhelmed her. She was lost and alone in an unfamiliar world full of dangers she could not imagine let alone hope to prepare herself for. At least it seemed that she would not have to deal with the cold darkness of night.

No sound came from anywhere in the woods, no animals scurrying or squeaking, no bird singing, no bugs whizzing about. The silence had gone unnoticed before but as time wore on it began to unnerve her how truly alone she was out here without even wildlife for company. She began to long for her backpack as her throat and mouth became dry and her stomach growled and grumbled. She had no memory of losing her supplies, but from what she could recall it must’ve been dropped some time after seeing the wisps.

“Rascal,” she cried out again, not really expecting it to work anymore but not having anything better to try, “Rascal I’m hungry, and thirsty, and tired, could you please just find me already?”

The moment the sound of her voice left the air, she heard something off through the tree line to her right. It didn’t sound like the rustling of a creature, but like water, a stream. Cora was certain the sound had not been there before, but it isn’t as if a stream could simply pop into existence at a moment's notice. The sudden appearance of the sound was unsettling and not to be trusted, and yet Cora could not help but to investigate. She rose to her feet, creeping quietly from tree to tree towards the sound and sure enough, just when the place she had been sitting was out of sight behind her, a babbling brook came into view ahead. Even more suspiciously, the trees around the brook were not the same tall and fruitless trees she had been surrounded by for hours now, but were instead pomegranate trees, just short enough for their fruit to be within reach.

The whole scene seemed very out of place and Coras sense of unease only grew. It didn’t seem possible but the forest was reacting to her, offering her the things she said she wanted. Everything she said she wanted, except for Rascal. A cold feeling of dread passed over her, like the shadow of some great beast whose form blocked out the sun. The scene before her grew warmer and more inviting, the water of the brook so clear and glistening, the fruit hanging from the trees so close and sweet of smell, something really wanted her to partake. She took a shaky step forwards towards the brook, and it seemed to become more excited in response, the droplets of water jumping higher into the light and the branches of the trees swaying more seductively. She pressed on, slowly and silently as the out of place piece of forest continued to react around her, until she stood at the edge of the water, her shoes just far enough back to remain dry.

She froze there for a time, trying to think of where to go from here, noting eventually that the water, while splashing all about, had yet to actually touch her. Did it need her to touch it first? Was that what this forest wanted, for her to touch something? She thought back to the wisps, how innocent they had seemed while leading her to a terrible fate, how bright and pretty and alluring they had been, and all they seemed to want was for her to look and to follow. She felt certain that whatever this place wanted, she should avoid complying. She looked around, searching for a narrower section of water that she might be able to leap over without touching. Her eyes settled on a fairly narrow portion, she very carefully moved around the low hanging branches away from the splashing bank of the brook. Positioning herself in front of the narrowest stretch of water several feet back from the bank, she bent her knees slightly and leaned her body forward. She could only hope she had enough energy left in her for this. She took a running start and as soon as one of her feet came down inches from the water she put everything she had into a leap, propelling herself into the air and over the water to the other side where she came down a little too hard on one foot and was brought to her knees.

She took a few quickened breaths and examined herself, checking for anywhere that she may have gotten wet. To her relief, she was dry head to toe. Just as she began to calm and set to thinking about her next step, she heard the water behind her grow louder, more restless. She took a look over her shoulder and saw the scene behind her transforming. The water seemed enraged, its sweet soft bubbling morphing quickly into a rushing roar, the brook turning quickly into a stream and then a river as the water level continued to rise at an alarming rate. Cora scrambled quickly to her feet and began to back away from the rising water that now seemed to be actively chasing her. The trees, equally menacing, began to shake violently as if being caught in a horrible storm despite the absence of any wind. Their fruit began to fall off their branches, less by the force of gravity it seemed and more as if being thrown to the ground violently, each piece splattering on the forest floor and revealing nothing inside but rot. The forest floor, now littered with the rotten flesh of the pomegranates, began to transform as well. The soft fertile soil became dry cracked earth with gnarled roots breaking through with tremendous force, sending chunks of dirt and rock flying out in small explosions all around. The roots reaching for her and the water flooding quickly her way, Cora had no time to carefully consider her next move, she only had time to run. She ran as fast as her feet could carry her, her right ankle still swelling and pulsing from her poor landing moments ago, her mouth dry and rough, her stomach cramping in protest. How long had it been since she had anything to eat or drink? Perhaps half a day? She continued to push herself forward, away from the cracked earth and roots that were still pursuing her, trying to grasp at her feet and ankles. She felt herself slowing, her energy depleting, her breath running out, but the roots began to break earth in front of her, pelting her shins with rocks and dirt and attempting to trip her as she ran by them. She gave a half-hearted jump to get over the roots, barely managing to clear them, barely managing to land on her feet, barely able to keep running. She was ahead of it again now, but not by much. Her only hope is that it would give up the chase before her body gave out. She shouldn’t be this exhausted, this hungry, this thirsty. How long had she really been here without food or water or rest?

She pressed on, nothing but desperation fueling her, carrying her forward. Her gaze fell for only a moment, her head dipping down as her neck grew tired of holding it, failing to watch where she was running for just one gasping breath and immediately running directly into something. If her lungs had been full she might’ve screamed but with the breathe she had she only just managed a yelp as whatever she impacted stood firm, causing her to fall backwards, landing solidly on the firm forest floor and wincing with both the pain of the impact and the anticipation of the raging forest finally catching her, but nothing happened. As she lay there in the dirt and leaves, gasping and wheezing and feeling the soreness and exhaustion in her entire body, the forest was quiet around her. No more raging waters or angry roots rushing to reach her, no more rotten pomegranates pelting the ground around her, just a silent stillness all around.

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