Time for a Beet Down

Billy and the Shitters stormed out of

The Shitters stormed out

The party stormed out of the tunnel and into the cavern, heading towards the cages yet again. When they arrived, Billy forced open the rusty metal door and then closed it slowly, making the metal screech an unholy shriek that echoed across the cavern.

In response, the beetle fortress’s gate opened yet again. This time, a stream of gargantuan beetles exited. The monsters charged in the direction of the prison cages.

Aelin the elven huntress didn’t wait for them to approach. As soon as she saw the gates open, she sent arrow after arrow into the gap, striking dozens of beetles. Unfortunately, most of her arrows skittered off chitinous armor. A few lucky shots found eyes and then brain matter, dropping a couple of beetles instantly.

Loc also sent projectiles towards the oncoming beetle stream, firing his shot after shot from his pistol. He never reloaded. Instead, red energy leaked from his pale (and only) hand and entered his gun with every shot. His bullets hit the monsters like sledgehammers, crippling and killing scores of them, sending ichor and red sparks everywhere. Before the onrush of enemies reached them, however, Loc had to stop firing. He looked even more gaunt than usual, his skin so pale that it almost flowed in the darkness. He slumped against the bars of one of the cages, breathing heavily.

Marit stepped forward, but Billy stopped him.

“We’ve got this,” the guide said. “Just be ready when something big comes.”

“Something big? What makes you think there’s something bigger than these?”

Billy grinned. “There’s always something bigger. Do you really think that this fortress doesn’t have a leader of any sort?” His eyes were ablaze, his Battlefield Commander skill on full display.

“Rhinus, to the front,” Billy commanded.

The tank took his hammer in both hands and jogged up to stand next to Scrap Heap.

“Just be ready,” he repeated to Marit. “It’s gonna get ugly.”

“What do I do now, then?” Marit asked.

Billy shrugged at the lizardman and made his way up to the front lines. “Stay with Loc. He needs a hand," Billy said.

Scrappy was eviscerating anything that came close with his trademark dual scimitars while Rhinus wielded his hammer to great effect. Both fighters stood their ground, supported by Aelin who slowed down, picking her shots carefully with Billy’s help. She wasn’t just shooting beetles in the head now that she was taking her time. Every arrow landed in a beetle’s right eye, every time. Billy would have been equally impressed and frightened if he had noticed the feat.

Loc called Marit over and explained to him what he needed. Nodding in hesitant acceptance, the lizard cleric picked up the gunner and helped him approach the battle. When they stood next to Rhinus, Marit selected a beetle that had been knocked aside by a hammer blow and picked it up with his bare lizard hands. With a grunt, he heaved the massive beetle up and dragged it to Loc, who placed his only hand on its shell and started channeling mana into it.

No, that’s not right. He was taking something from it. He siphoned whatever life force it had left into himself, growing healthier by the second.

“Another,” he gasped when the beetle crumbled to dust. They repeated the process twice before Loc looked better. Actually, he looked better than he ever had. When Marit wrestled the next one over, Loc did something different. He placed his pistol on the beetle’s carapace and cast a spell. Marit felt the aura of the spell and had to stop himself from recoiling. It was foul, dark magic that shouldn’t exist. Loc’s gun glowed black, even darker than the cavern. When he pulled it back, there was an ominous black mark on the beetle’s carapace, right where the gun had been. There was also the tiniest red line of mana linking the gun and the beetle.

When he opened fire, Loc drew power directly from the beetle instead of his own life force, fueling his weapon. Each shot withered the creature more and more. A few shots later, Marit was holding nothing but dust.

“Again,” Loc ordered. Marit reluctantly lumbered forwards, trying to pick out an injured beetle.

“Marit, three steps right!” Billy shouted. Marit obliged, moving swiftly to the right. A beetle moved in to attack him. Just then, Rhinus let out a war cry and slammed a beetle with an uppercut of his hammer. The monster flew a dozen feet in the air before landing precisely where Marit had been standing, on top of the advancing beetle.

“Grab both. We’ve got company!” Billy yelled. Marit swiftly took hold of both beetles, careful to avoid their pincers. He dragged them to Loc, straining to hold them in place.

The cavern went strangely quiet as Scrap Heap finished off the last two beetles in the wave with clean swipes of his swords. Aside from the heavy breathing of the adventurers and the clacking of the two angry beetles that Marit was holding, there were no other sounds. No more beetles rushing in. No gates rumbling. The contrast from the pitched battle was jarring.

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And then they heard it. Because, of course there was a flying cavern monster. Whomp. Flap. Flap. Flap. It was the ominous sound of an impending boss fight. They looked around in confusion, trying to spot the incoming threat. Billy let out a gout of fire into the air, lighting up the cavern and revealing the atrocity flying towards them.

“Scatter!” Billy yelled. The Shitters party spread out as fast as they could.

A half bat, half beetle monstrosity flew in from the direction of the fortress, landing amidst the party in a superhero landing that sent a shockwave of dust in all directions. Rhinus, the slowest of the bunch, was slapped hard by the monster’s leathery purple-black wing. The tank was sent hurtling across the cavern, smashing into and through a handful of stalagmites until rolling to a stop in a dark corner of the cavern.

“Now!” Billy’s shout echoed across the cavern. The beetle-bat hybrid stood, stretching up to its full ten feet, at least. Its beetle mouth clattered amidst its hairy bat face. Billy looked around. “Guys?” He asked.

The party just looked back and forth between Billy and the monster. They looked at Billy in confusion and at the monstrosity in fear as it flexed its muscles and spread its wings vainly. Only the truly powerful showed off their corded muscles. If it laughed before a speech, then they would really be in trouble.

“Now WHAT?” Marit asked. “We didn’t discuss a plan for… For this!” He gestured frantically at the beetle-bat hybrid.

“What do you MEAN what?” Billy asked, his voice raising to a shout. “Obviously, I mean send everything you’ve got at it. Duh!”

And there it was. A low rumble of a chuckle, highlighted by a scattering of clicking noises. It was like a squad of tap dancers in a bowling alley a bundle of dry sticks being thrown in a pile during a thunderstorm.

“Mwahahaha,” the beetle-bat rumbled. Or was it a bat-beetle?

“Mwahahaha,” the bat-beetle rumbled. “You do not belong-”

“Guys!” Billy yelled, cutting it off. This time, the party acted.

Aelin was the first to move, sending three arrows at the bat-beetle’s face. The first arrow grazed its cheek as it tried to dodge. It intercepted the next two arrows with its wings, folding them in front of itself.

Scrap Heap conjured an odachi and, gripping the long, curved sword with both hands, swung mightily. The sword descended so quickly that Billy couldn’t track it. Still, somehow, the bat-beetle boss’s wings glowed purple just before impact. When the odachi struck the glowing purple wings, its momentum stopped instantly. Arrows struck the wings and stuck to them, but didn’t pierce through. Scrap Heap tried to pull back his sword, but it didn’t budge.

Fearing a trap, the scout sprang backwards, but he was too slow. The enemy’s arm snaked out from under its wing, its hand clamping around Scrap Heap’s leg. Metal screeched as the muscled hand squeezed down.

Billy stepped quickly up next to Scrappy and shoved his wand under the wings and into the bat-beetle’s face in what was becoming Billy’s signature move. With a surge of willpower and a whole lot of mana that Billy was quickly running out of, fire blasted from the wand’s tip, scorching the monster’s face. It roared fearsomely, grabbing the wand with its other hand. Even while fire was still blasting from the gemlike core at the tip of the wand, the monster gripped the tip of the wand and squeezed.

Crack. Fire started leaking from the sides of the wand’s core.

“Loc!” Billy yelled. The gunner pointed his pistol, draining both beetles to dust in an instant, freeing Marit from their burden. His gun started alternating between glowing with a dangerous red and black aura. Arrows pinged and scraped off the monster’s chitinous brow as it jerked back and forth to shield its eyes.

Crack. Fire leaked in all directions from the wand, even shooting backwards towards Billy.

“Hurry,” Billy shouted over the rushing flames, ignoring the pain.

Scrap Heap conjured a pair of daggers, slicing repeatedly at the dark purple arm holding tightly to his leg. Dark blood bloomed from hundreds of cuts, but it didn’t let go.

CRACK! The wand’s core exploded in the monster’s grip, sending a fire nova in every direction. Billy was blown back by the explosion, hitting the ground hard and tumbling until his back hit a pillar of stone. Scrap Heap flew back as well, but landed on one functioning leg. In one hand, he held a dagger. In the other, he firmly gripped a severed, muscular, purple hand.

The bat-beetle monster threw its head back and roared, clutching at its newly acquired stump with his mangled hand. Billy hazily thought the remaining hand looked like the spider-dogs the orphans of Deez used to make by splitting sausages into quarters lengthwise before roasting over the campfires.

Billy raised an arm, the world spinning dangerously. He pointed at the ceiling, the fortress, the blur, the bat-beetle, the fortress, the ceiling, the fortress, the… “Shoot… Loc…” He croaked out.

Loc obligingly let out a massive blast from his pistol, right into the monstrosity’s chitin-covered chest. The black and red blur dug a massive gouge out of the monster’s chest. It fell to one knee. Arrows pinged off of its chitin, but a few managed to find their way into flesh between pieces of armor.

“No…” Billy mumbled, coughing out a mouthful of blood. “Aelin…” He pointed again, but it was too late. A figure was standing atop the fortress walls.

Marit looked around in confusion. Seeing the new figure, he conjured a scepter, raising it high in the air. “Totec, return my enemies to the Cycle!” The air trembled. A giant pillar of blood shot from the ceiling, slamming into the fortress wall. But not into the enemy.

In a flash of light, the figure reappeared next to the bat-beetle hybrid. It was both alike and completely different from the bat-beetle. It was also half beetle, but the other half wasn't a bat. It was half eagle. Its majestic wings contrasted with the other hybrid, smooth white tipped with black as opposed to the bat’s rubbery dark purple-brown. Its bright white head was the head of an eagle, aside from the disgusting clicking beetle mandibles in place of a beak. Its enormous yellow eyes took in the party in a single glance.

Two arrows, a dagger and a rogue hammer flew at the newcomer, but it slapped its hand on its bat-beetle ally, both of them vanishing in nothing but a flash of light.

“NO!” Marit yelled, throwing his scepter to the ground in frustration.

“Potion,” Rhinus croaked out before spitting up blood.

“Issuing request for repairs………… Contacting…… No runesmiths within range. Subroutine initiated: fake it till you make it commencing.” Scrap Heap stood completely still for a moment, muttering to himself, before walking around nonchalantly on his broken leg, collecting cores and loot.

Billy tried keeping his eyes open, but it was a losing battle. The cave just wouldn’t stop spinning. It spun and spun and… weeeeeee… It was like a carnival ride, except that he hadn’t ever been to a carnival. “Time for a nappy nap,” he muttered before everything went black.