Rodney fiddled with the hem of his hospital gown, a crease forming between his eyebrows as he processed Dr Henderson's words. "So no medication?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady, to mask the tremor of anxiety that threatened to betray him.
"Rodney," Dr. Henderson leaned forward, his expression compassionate but firm, "given the circumstances, therapy is the safest and most effective path for you right now."
Rodney nodded but felt his worry begin to build up. He didn't think therapy would be enough; he was worried what would happen when the break was over and he had to return to school. The room felt smaller suddenly, the walls inching closer, filled with invisible whispers of judgment.
"You'll be ok, we are going to come up with an action plan for school. Now get some rest, you get discharged tomorrow," Dr. Henderson patted his shoulder before leaving the room.
Rodney's phone buzzed on the bedside table, derailing his train of thought. Rodney glanced at the screen—Derek's face smiling back at him—and swiped to answer. Derek's tanned face filled the screen, grounding him.
"Hey, man! We just got back into Toronto, I'm thinking I'll be able to come see you tonight. How was your day?" Derek shouted over the sounds of the busy airport.
"Um, it's been... a lot," Rodney admitted, sinking back into the pillows. "The doc says I've got severe depression. And they are still not trusting me with pills. Plus we need to come up with a plan for school, and I am not even sure I should go back. Maybe finishing the year online would be better."
"Damn. That's a lot, Rod. But if you do choose to come back to school, I'll keep the idiots away from you. You don't have to worry about that." Derek's reassuring tone was the same one he used during late-night study sessions when Rodney doubted his answers.
"Maybe," Rodney conceded, chewing on his lower lip. "Hey, I just realized I never asked you about your trip, how was it?"
"It was alright. Saline said yes to Harry so now they are busy planning their wedding for next year, and guess who's the best man?" A proud grin spread across Derek's face.
"Congrats, that's awesome!" Rodney managed a half-smile, feeling a genuine flicker of happiness for his friend.
"Thanks! I have pics to share, but I want to show you them in person. I'll feel a lot better when I'm sitting in that uncomfortable chair next to you." Derek said, grabbing his luggage.
"Did Marcy tell you that, she absolutely hates that chair," Rodney laughed looking over at the discoloured fabric. "She actually started bringing a lawn chair from home,"
"She may have mentioned it," Derek replied, "I have to hang up now, but I will see you tonight, OK," Derek reassured him before hanging up.
Rodney settled back into his bed, excited to see Derek and catch up on everything he missed over the break.
---
The Last of the break went by faster than Rodney expected, his friends visited him every day, even when he returned home. Dr. Henderson had explained the plan for Rodney to return to school, which is why Rodney found himself sitting in Mr. Rogo's office Monday morning.
"Rodney, please, have a seat," Mr. Rogo gestured to the chair across from his desk. Rodney shuffled his way to the chair, slowly lowering himself onto it. Rodney perched on the edge of the seat, his backpack still on his back.
"I'm sure you already know that your doctor has contacted the school, we are just meeting today to go over the plan," Mr. Rogo began, removing his glasses and polishing them thoughtfully. "We all want you to feel safe and supported now that you are back in school."
"Thank you," Rodney mumbled, tracing the stitching on his backpack strap. All this attention made him feel uncomfortable, he really just wanted to fade away into the background again, but things had changed and he needed to accept that.
"For starters, this office is open to you anytime you need it. If you ever feel overwhelmed or like you need a break your teachers have been instructed to allow you to leave." Mr. Rogo continued, replacing his glasses. "And I'll check in occasionally, just to make sure you feel like things are going well."
"Right," Rodney nodded.
"Also, on Friday, we have cleared you to leave early for your therapy sessions. You are all set."
"Got it," Rodney felt like you had to fill the silences with something.
"Alright, well if you don't have any questions, you can head to class," Mr. Rogo gave a kind smile, and Rodney rose, eager to leave and act like everything was normal again.
At lunch, Rodney picked at the edges of his turkey sandwich, his gaze flickering between the half-eaten apple and the small cluster of grapes on his tray. Across from him, Derek, Madison, and Matt hadn't touched their trays, they watched Rodney silently as he picked away at his own. Jordan slid into the seat beside him and started to watch too, making Rodney feel like an animal on display at a zoo.
"Guys, seriously," Rodney sighed, rolling his eyes and setting down the sandwich. "Eat. You're freaking me out just watching me like this. I promise I won't choke myself with my grapes." he raised his hand and drew an X over his heart.
"Sorry," Derek shook his head, picking up his own bean burrito and starting to unwrap it.
"Look, I just want to eat with my friends, like we used to do," Rodney looked over at Matt and Madison, they both returned to their trays but neither actually ate anything.
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Derek watched the two of them, both seemed unsure of what they should be doing around Rodney at school. He turned towards Madison, "Hey, how's your English paper coming?"
Madison exhaled, her freckles dancing as she frowned. "It would be done if my mom hadn't played editor and deleted half of it." She shook her head. "I mean, really, how does 'format' turn into 'select all and backspace'?"
Matt shook his head, knowing the pain all too well. "This is why we keep our parents away from technology," he said, grinning wide.
The table erupted in agreement, and for a moment, Rodney found himself genuinely smiling again.
But then Hunter approached, standing close to their table but not too close. With an awkward wave, he took another set closer to them. "Can I um... Can I talk to you, Rodney?" he asked so quietly Rodney almost missed the question.
"Sure," Rodney replied, moving over to give Hunter room to join them.
Hunter hesitated, his hazel eyes flicking around the table. "Actually could we talk alone, if that's cool?"
"Go ahead, man," Derek nodded, giving Rodney a look that tried to convey reassurance.
Rodney stood up and trailed behind Hunter, weaving through the sea of students until they reached the snow-covered bench in the school garden. Hunter dusted off the bench and took a seat, Rodney followed suit and they both stared forward and silence enveloped them.
Hunter took a deep breath, ready to start the conversation. Rodney beat him to it.
"Look, I'm sure by now you know what I did, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it myself," Rodney interjected quickly, the words tumbling out. "I should've called you or texted you or something. It's just—"
"That's not why I brought you here," Hunter interrupted, his tone softer than expected. There was a vulnerability there that Rodney hadn't anticipated. "What you did scared me, yeah. But I get it. Sometimes I feel so much pressure to be perfect that think about that stuff. Turns out, my mom felt the same way too."
Rodney blinked, surprised by Hunter's confession. This was a side of Hunter he wasn't expecting.
"I'm not saying I would do what you did," Hunter continued, reaching into his backpack. "But what you did got my mom to open up about her experience and got me to tell her all the pressure I've felt."
He pulled out a small silver dollar. "My granddad gave this to my mom after her attempt. Told her to carry it—to remember there's someone who'd always be there, no judgement, no fear."
Hunter held out the coin to Rodney. "We want you to have it, so you know there are people like that out there for you."
Stunned, Rodney watched Hunter blush as he took the coin from him. "Thank you," he whispered.
The bell's shrill ring caused both of them to jump as it ruined their moment, and Rodney glanced towards the door. "Will you walk me to class?"
"Of course," Hunter said, zipping up his bag. They wandered back to class together, taking their time to get there.
---
After school, aliens invaded and Corporal Lee Cunning and his crew could stop them. Rodney and Jordan blasted their way through the waves of invaders in Rodney's living room. Occasionally, one would groan as they were overwhelmed by the assault, but for the most part, they were two teenagers simply enjoying the distraction from reality.
"Hey," Jordan finally broke the silence, pausing their character on the screen. "Can I ask you something?"
Rodney glanced over, eyebrows raised in curiosity. "Shoot."
"What did Hunter want earlier?" Jordan's voice was casual, but Rodney could detect that fact Jordan thought something was up.
Rodney hesitated, biting his lip as he considered how much to share. "He just heard about what happened," he said at last, looking over at Jordan. "Turns out someone he knew did the same thing, he just wanted to let me know he was there for me."
"Really?" Jordan's eyes widened. "I had no idea, at counsel meeting he just comes off as having the perfect life, you know?"
Rodney nodded slowly. "I know. I guess he just tries to keep people at arm's length. You know to keep his image up. His family are a big a deal after all." Rodney looked thoughtfully at the paused screen. "It probably makes it harder for him to open up."
"I guess you could be right," Jordan said unpausing the game and returning to the fight. "But then why is he opening up to you?"
Rodney huffed, he didn't want to out Hunter. "We have a lot in common, that's all."
Jordan nodded, buying Rodney's explanation, as their character was torn in half by the alien queen.
The sudden knock at the front door drew their attention, "I'll get it for you." Jordan got up and strode to the door, peering through the peephole before pulling it open to reveal Ally standing on the porch, her hands clasped nervously in front of her.
"Is Rodney home?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Jordan's gaze softened. "Uh, yeah he is. We are just gaming. Did you want to talk to him?"
"Um actually if you're busy I can come back," Ally interjected, her blue eyes glistening with the beginnings of tears.
"Are you sure?" Jordan admitted. "He's just in the other room, I can go grab him. I things between you two haven't been great..."
Ally bit her lip, nodding slowly. "I just wanted to see if he was okay."
"Rodney's doing fine, considering everything," Jordan reassured her, though they kept his distance. "I think he'll get through this."
"Well, that is all I really needed to know, thanks Jordan," Ally said, her voice trembling slightly as she turned away.
"Well, ok then, See around Ally," Jordan called after her, watching as she disappeared down the walkway.
Returning to the living room, Jordan found Rodney pausing the game, looking up expectantly.
"Who was that?" Rodney asked as Jordan settled back into the groove of the couch, picking up their controller.
"Some old dude lost looking for direction," Jordan fibbed, thumbing the start button to resume their game.
"Lost? Why wouldn't he just use GPS or his phone?" Rodney asked, squinting skeptically at Jordan, his fingers moving mechanically over the buttons.
"Ah, you know," Jordan said with a shrug. "He looked like he might still own a flip phone. Probably thought GPS was some fancy new technology that would end the world."
Rodney chuckled, shaking his head. "My mom has an uncle like that. He thinks your car will explode if you turn it off with the radio on." They both fell silent before bursting with laughter and returning to their game for the night.
---
Ally paused outside her front door, taking a breath and wiping her tears before she went to open it. As she stepped inside, the warm glow of the living room lights enveloped her, along with the concerned gaze of her mother.
"Back so soon?" her mother inquired, her voice laced with worry. "Everything okay, sweetie?"
"Uh, yeah, Mom," Ally lied, her voice barely above a whisper. "Rodney wasn't home, so I'll have to try another time."
Her father, who had been sitting on the armchair reading the newspaper, set it aside and stood to wrap Ally in a comforting embrace. "I'm sure Rodney will pull through just fine," he reassured her, his voice steady and calm.
"Mom's putting together a little get-well-soon package for him," he added, gesturing towards the dining table where colourful cards and an assortment of jams and tarts were placed in a wicker basket.
"Sounds good," Ally replied, her eyes avoiding direct contact. "I just wish I could've talked to him... see how he is really doing."
"Why don't you track him down at school, Ally," her mother suggested softly, reaching out to smooth down a strand of her hair. "I know you want to have a deep discussion, but you can at least let him know you are thinking about him. I think that would mean a lot to him."
"Right," Ally agreed, though she still wasn't sure Rodney would want anything to do with her. She forced a smile, knowing that for now, all she could do was hope for an opportunity to tell Rodney just how sorry she was feeling.