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Bi The Way
Vol 2, Chapter 9: If

Vol 2, Chapter 9: If

The University of Waterloo's campus sprawled before Derek, the modern nanotechnologies building clashing with the original fine arts building's aging stone structure. He took Marcy's hand in his own and the pair set out to find the student life center and start their campus tour.

"Look, Derek," Marcy said, gesturing to a group of students lounging on the grass, their laughter floating on the breeze. "It could be us next year. We could meet here between classes."

Derek nodded absently, he was nervous enough as it was, he was the first person in his family to even apply for post-secondary school. He didn't like his chances of getting into the best engineering school in the province. But Marcy seemed so certain; like she already knew the outcome, he wished he had her confidence.

As they entered the bustling student life center Marcy suddenly turned to him, "Sorry if this seems out of nowhere but is everything between you and Rodney ok?" she asked, her tone probing. "You seem to be hanging out a lot less recently, and Rodney seems to be avoiding the house whenever you come over."

"Marcy, it's kind of complicated," Derek sighed, sadness leaking into his voice. He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the tension knotted there. "I was stressed and I felt like Rodney ditched me right when I really needed him, you know?"

"I had no idea," she insisted, her brow furrowing with concern. "Do you think you two can fix things?"

"Honestly I have been meaning to hang out with him and sort it all out," Derek said, he knew he had every right to have been mad at Rodney at the time, but Rodney did try to apologize, and as time passed Derek felt like he may have overreacted slightly. "It is just with all this university stuff, I've kind of been putting it off."

"Well don't put it off much longer," Marcy warned, her concern clearly written across her face. "The longer you wait the more awkward it is going to be." She paused, as the tour guide finally arrived. "I'm in the tour of the arts campus, I'll meet you here for lunch?"

"Of course," Derek said as he watched her go, the unease settling in his stomach. He knew she was right, part of the reason he had been putting off his apology to Rodney was because it felt like it was too late to say it. But he really did miss hanging out with Rodney and all the schemes they came up with to help Rodney succeed in love. He thought about how to mend things as his tour group headed out on campus.

They entered the gleaming engineering building and Derek felt himself drawn to the large-scale models and prototypes on display. His eyes were scanning a particularly intricate bridge design when a sudden jostle brought him back to the present. A girl with a tumble of raven hair and a scatter of freckles across her nose had bumped into him in her eagerness to get a closer look.

"Sorry!" she exclaimed, her wide blue eyes apologetic. "I'm Sunny." She reached out a hand to help him up.

"Derek," he replied, accepting her offer of help. "You know the football field is on the other side of campus."

"Oh, are you telling me the inside of this engineering building isn't where you play football?" Sunny asked, her sarcasm matching his own. "I'm here because I want to be a mechanical engineer, actually. I assume you have a similar goal... or are you just really into models?"

"You would be right... about the engineering thing. I also want to be a mechanical engineer," Derek smiled, he could tell he liked this girl already. "Why do you want to be a mechanical engineer?"

"Ever since I was little, I've wanted to build bridges," Sunny confided, her hands shaping an arc in the air. "Not just physical ones, but connections between people, places, ideas."

"Wow, that's... actually really cool," Derek admitted, impressed by her passion. In a lot of ways, Sunny reminded Derek of Marcy—always making these bigger-picture connections that most people hardly ever acknowledged.

They continued to chat as the tour wound its way through simulation labs and collaborative workspaces, hardly paying much attention to the tour guide as they got to know each other better.

As they exited the building, the sunlight seemed brighter, the campus more vibrant. For a moment, Derek allowed himself to forget the chances of getting in were slim. Here, he was with his girlfriend and he had made a new friend, and he felt like this was where he belonged.

-----

Rodney's gaze lingered on the text from Marcy about how much she loved the campus and couldn't wait for the other tours, but his mind was elsewhere. The chatter of the late-night museum-goers echoed through the grand hall of the Royal Ontario Museum as the students gathered to get ready for dinner. Mr. B. started calling names to make sure everyone was present and Rodney couldn't help but look over at Ally as she responded, she looked as beautiful as ever. Rodney quickly looked away, he didn't want to be caught staring at her.

"Matt..." Rodney turned to take his mind off her but instead he found Matt's gaze was also lingering on Ally. "Are you ok?"

Matt realized he was caught, he could see Rodney analyzing his thoughts based on his body language. He felt like he had been staring at her with his mouth wide open and eyes building the way Rodney looked at him. "I'm fine dude. Ally just looks like she is doing really well is all."

"Oh," Rodney muttered, seeing Matt's look of longing mixed with sadness. "I'm sure she misses you too. She's just better at hiding it." he offered, trying to ease Matt's pain.

"No she doesn't," Matt said dryly, slumping his shoulders in defeat. "But thank Rodney, for trying."

Rodney gave Matt an understanding look before he put his arm around his shoulder, guiding him away from Ally and closer to the front. When the group left the Rom the icy cold wind caused them to shiver as they began walking to the restaurant. They settled into the small Italian place, surrounded by hanging meats and the smell of fresh pasta.

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"How's the basketball going so far?" Rodney broke the silence, trying to get Matt out of his funk.

"It's not too bad," Matt agreed with a short laugh. "But would be better if Eric showed up to a practice every once in a while."

"Is he that guy with a full beard?" Rodney prodded, noting the way the light had returned to Matt's eyes.

"That's him the guy is fourteen and he has a better beard than my dad." Matt laughed, running his hands through his hair. "it's just too bad that beard doesn't translate to basketball skill."

"The guy does have an amazing beard though," Rodney said stroking his own smooth chin where a beard could one day be.

"Agreed." Matt folded his arms. "I wish I could grow one like that," The boys laughed.

Unseen by either boy, Ally sat across the room but still had a clear view of the pair from her booth. She paused at the sound of their laughter, her blue eyes wide with surprise.

"Rodney, have you ever played?" Matt asked, for the first time wanting to know more about Rodney.

"I used to play in Toronto," Rodney confessed, as he looked over the menu. "Zayne, Ally, Rodrick, and I would head to court after school. I never really played on a team before though."

"So you played street ball," Matt joked, before ordering his meal, "What games? Horse? 21?"

"Mostly two on-two, maybe a game of Around the World or Pig every now and then," Rodney explained, appreciating Matt's genuine interest in his life.

"We should play sometime then," Matt said, excited to test Rodney's skill.

"Sounds like a plan," Rodney said as their food arrived. For the rest of the night, the pair made plans to play ball and work on the next history project together. Before they knew it they were tucked into their sleeping bags at the ROM under the projected starlight

---

The first blush of dawn painted the sky in soft pastels as Steven and Jordan slipped out of the Royal Ontario Museum. They had been careful not to make the other as they made their daring escape, with the city slowly stirring to life, they hoped to have a quiet date like breakfast together. They walked side by side, the morning chill making their breaths visible, as Jordan led the way to the cafe.

"It's just a little farther," Jordan said, pointing to an inviting spot with steam fogging up the windows. "You are going to love this place."

"Sounds perfect," Steven replied, still not fully awake.

As they made their way down the sidewalk, they noticed the line creeping out of the cafe. A figure jogging towards them slowed down, waving energetically at Jordan. The boy was about their age, with the chiseled features of someone who spent more time at the gym than at the library.

"Jordan! Dude, it's been forever!" the newcomer exclaimed, grinning ear to ear.

"Uh, hey... Andy!" Jordan responded throwing their arms open to embrace him.

"How long has it been? Feels like we just got back from camp yesterday," Andy said, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet, full of energy even at this early hour.

Steven's smile faltered; he could feel an unwanted thought creeping in, an uninvited guest at the edge of his mind. His fingers twitched at his sides, the desire to reach out and claim some kind of ownership over Jordan almost overwhelming.

"Right! God, I miss being out on that lake." Jordan laughed, but not before shooting Steven a quick reassuring glance. "Oh, this is my boyfriend Steven."

"Nice to meet you, man," Andy said, offering a hand that Steven took, noting the firm grip that seemed to come so effortlessly to someone so physically assured.

"Jordan here is a real heartbreaker so you better watch out," Andy added in a tone that had Steven confused about whether he was joking or not.

"Did you two..." Steven wondered out loud as he tried to decode Andy's words.

"I wouldn't call what we did dating," Jordan interjected quickly, leaning in to press a kiss to Steven's cheek—a silent message of solidarity that did little to lessen the sudden rush of anxiety.

"Did that friendship bracelet mean nothing to you?" Andy said, pretending to be hurt. "I am just messing with you man, all we did was kiss on a dare. You too enjoy the overpriced coffee." Andy waved before taking off.

"Sure," Steven muttered, watching Andy's retreating figure. His once cheery morning feeling a little heavier.

They found their way into the café, a cozy corner filled with the aroma of freshly baked pastries and coffee. As they settled into a booth, Jordan scanned the menu while Steven's mind churned with unwelcome thoughts.

"Did you really kiss that guy?" Steven asked his voice light but his discomfort with the thought was obvious.

"It was a dare." Jordan's eyes flicked up from the menu, crinkling at the corners. "I didn't even remember it until he brought it up. He wasn't a very good kisser." Jordan joked, trying to lighten the mood but Steven still looked distant.

"Is everything okay, Steven? You seem... off." Jordan's gaze held concern, their brow furrowing ever so slightly.

"Fine, just fine," Steven lied too quickly, pushing around the silverware in front of him. "We should head back soon, though. I don't know how long Ally will be able to cover for us."

"Sure," Jordan agreed, though the worry didn't leave their face. "Let's order to go then."

Steven nodded, pretending to peruse the menu while his thoughts spiraled. Beside him, Jordan sat patient and kind, but Steven couldn't shake the image of Jordan kissing Andy.

They had made it back in time for roll call before boarding the buses back to Strathroy. A sliver of light sliced through the bus window, causing Jordan to shift in their seat to avoid it, their eyes fixed on the passing skyscrapers. Steven, in the eighties-style fabric chair beside him, sank further into his own thoughts, phone in hand. His thumb scrolled aimlessly through Jordan's Instagram feed, each photo a digital punch to his insecurities. Muscular arms here, a soccer victory there; the parade of fit, sporty guys grinned up at him from the screen.

"Hey," Jordan said, glancing over with a softness that made Steven's heart twist uncomfortably. "I'm sorry about Andy, he was being a bit of a jerk. I knew he had a thing for me but the feeling was never mutual.... you know?"

"Yeah, it's fine," Steven murmured, but his fingers betrayed him, lingering on a picture of Jordan and a particularly athletic guy, all smiles.

"Steven." Jordan's tone was gentle but insistent. "Talk to me."

The words spilled out of Steven, hesitantly at first, then flooding forth in an anxious torrent. "It's just... I can't help but think that maybe I'm not really your type. I'm not like Andy. Not..." He gestured vaguely at himself, a self-conscious attempt to encompass what he felt were his deficiencies.

Jordan rolled their eyes, turning to face Steven fully. Their eyes locked, and in Jordan's gaze, Steven found an unwavering certainty that left him breathless. "Steven, you are my type. Because you're the one I'm dating. I'd choose you every time. You're the one I love."

The word hung in the air, fragile and untested. Love. Neither had ever said it before, not like that.

"Love?" Steven's voice wavered, a mix of disbelief and hope.

"Love," Jordan affirmed, leaning in closer. Their lips met Steven's in a kiss that seemed to fill the hole that had been created inside of Steven with warmth.

When they parted, Steven could only blink away the surprise, his earlier worries dissolving. "I'm sorry for worrying so much."

"Hey, no need to apologize," Jordan assured him, brushing a thumb across Steven's cheek. "If anything, I should have told you I loved you sooner."

Their gazes held with the world outside moving on without them, everything else fell away. The fears that had eaten away at Steven seemed insignificant now, and he allowed himself to lean into Jordan's comforting embrace.

"Why don't you come over to my place when get back," Jordan suggested with a smile, his hand finding Steven's as they held him. The road stretched out before them, an open promise, and Steven felt the warmth of Jordan's hand anchor him to the present, to this moment of unexpected honesty and the simple truth of being loved for who he was—not who he thought he needed to be.