The neon sign for Beyond the Boundary Gas and Grocery, stood out like a beacon on the asphalt desert as the bedraggled man approached the store. A few of the lights had burned out and those that remained took turns flickering like they were getting ready to quit as well. The parking lot was dark and empty as he approached the store. He could see the clerk sitting at the counter with his feet propped up, watching something on his phone from the parking lot as he approached.
“God dammit, you ain’t gonna believe what happened to me,” the man said as he stepped inside and propped his fishing pole up next to the door.
The clerk set down his phone and stood up, “Can I help you?”
He looked up at the tall clerk behind the counter. “Damn, you a tall fucker ain’t you? What are you, seven feet?”
“Not quite, six foot seven.”
“Dang that’s tall. What’s your name?”
"Everyone calls me Nate.”
“Hey Nate, you ain’t gonna believe what happened to me. Can I borrow your phone? You one of them hippies?”
“What?”
“You sure got long hair, my ex wife never kept her hair long enough for a ponytail. You got a young face too be having gray hair. You ever try dying it? I tried once but my hair was too red to dye, just looks orange when I tried”. The man said as he walked over the coffee stand and lifted a pot to his nose and sniffed it, “Is this coffee fresh? Don’t matter, as long as it’s hot. I just want coffee.
My ex wife, she used to call me Dammit Daniel,” he said as he poured himself a cup. “ You know today I really earned that name, been saying ‘Dammit Daniel, you done fucked up ‘ the entire walk here. You got anything besides this powdered shit?” he said holding up a plastic container of creamer.
“Coffee’s not really good unless it’s black,” the clerk said walking over to the coffee stand.
“Buddy, I didn’t ask your opinion of how I drink my coffee, I just asked if you had something that wasn’t powdered. Don’t tell me how to drink my coffee, I’ve been drinking coffee since I was born. My mom used to put that tittie milk in my coffee, I’ve always had it with cream.”
“Okay…”
“You ain’t got no clothes for sale in this store do ya? I’m sick of wearing wet blue jeans. You ever try hiking a mile in wet jeans? My nuts are raw and my thighs are chaffed. Is this the biggest cup size you carry? I need a lot bigger than this. Nevermind, I’ll just get more.”
Light rain started pelting the big glass windows in the front of the store as the sky started to darken. Lights flickered briefly in the store.
“Fixing to storm, told ya, been having a bad day. You ever worry about getting struck by lightning? Anyway, like I was saying, where’s that phone, I need to call my boy and see if he’ll come pick me up. Where am I anyway?” Dan said as he was looking at the various packets of sweetener.
A bright flash of lightning followed by a thunder clap, torrential rain started to come down. The lights in the store winked out and the floor beneath them rumbled. The store was bathed in darkness for just a moment before a soft red glow from a light above the store’s empty beer cooler came to life.
“That light means the cooler’s on a separate generator, that’s what that is. “ Dan said as he poured packets of sweetener in his coffee.
“Thanks, Captain Obvious.” Nate said, taking another sip of coffee. “WIFI's probably down, it’s gonna be a long boring night unless I wanna use up my phone’s data.”
“Power probably be back on any minute now. Like I was saying, I have had the worst day. I decided to take myself fishing, been eyeing that lake for a while now, ain’t never been there before. Looked quiet, like maybe it was going to be brimming with fish. You ever gone fishing at the lake near here?”
“What lake?” Nate said. “I don’t live around here, I live about an hour from here.”
“I don’t know the name of it, you probably can’t see it for the trees right now anyway. But like I was saying, I was out fishing when this big fucker grabbed my line and pulled me in.”
“Is that why your clothes are damp?”
“You ever gone for a dip in the lake and not gotten wet? Man I tell ya, my legs are chafed. Ever hike a mile in wet jeans? Dang this red light makes me feel like I’m in a whore house.”
“Roxanne! You don’t have to put on the red light, Roxanne.” Nate sang out.
“Shit we’re a coupla ugly whores, ain't we?” Dan laughed. “You’d have to at least shave that mustache and grow some titties to be even half way passing in the dark. Shit, I’m probably one ugly whore too. Ain't shaved in a coupla days and I hate to think what my hair looks like. Did the lake turn it green? I’m pretty sure I swam through some algae where I came out.”
The floor rumbled under their feet.
“Must be a big truck going by, hate to be the bastard out driving in this weather. You don’t care if I hang out here til the weather clears up, I don't want my boy to have to come out in this.” Dan said as he started to walk around the half empty store. “Hey why is this place so empty? You having trouble getting deliveries out here or something?”
“No, the store's fixing to close in the morning, I think I’m mostly out here as punishment. They said it was to be sure no vandals broke in and to take care of their regular customers but I really think it’s cuz someone’s mad at me.” Nate said going back to the counter and taking a seat.
“What did you do that they would be mad about?” Dan said, grabbing a small stack of plastic milk crates and sitting down. “I gotta sit, my feet are killing me, hard to walk a mile in these wet boots. Would you care if I took ‘em off?” He said as he pulled off his first boot without waiting for a reply.
"Honestly, I don’t care. They’re probably gonna make me do grunt work and then find a reason to fire me,” Nate said as he lit up a cigarette.
“What’d ya do, smack your boss? I did that once, broke his nose. Ended up spending three days in jail, but it sure was worth it. Bastard had it coming, he wouldn't stop running his mouth, so POW! right in the face. Might've gotten arrested but that bastard learned not to run his mouth to me..” Dan said as he peeled off his other boot. Noticing that Nate was smoking he reached out his hand, "Can I get one of those?"
Nate pulled out a pack from under the counter as Dan started to peel off his wet socks, “You can have a pack of these for free. Anything they left in the store is stuff they don’t want. The few things you see on the shelves is most likely expired or some weird off brand they can’t even give away.”
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“Thanks man, what the fuck is BBs?” Dan said looking at the pack of cigarettes.
“Store brand, stands for Beyond the Border.”
“Never heard of ‘em,” Dan said as he unwrapped the cellophane on the pack. “What kind are you smokin?”
“Pall Mals at the moment.” Nate pulled the pack out of his shirt pocket and held it up to show where a store coupon had been pulled off. "I usually get whatever's on sale."
“Pall Malls are what my old man smoked back in the day, you don’t look that old even with the grey hair.” Dan said as he lit up a cigarette.
“I’m only 45, my hair started turning grey a couple years after I got out of the Navy. It’s a genetic thing, all the men in my family either go bald or go gray before they’re 40. I’m happy I’ve got hair at all.”
“How long did it take you to grow it that long? Shit this cigarette is awful, tastes like potpourri. You get it out of the box of car air fresheners or something?”
“Haven’t had a hair cut in over five years. As far as the cigarettes go, no idea, they just happened to be laying here. I think I might've seen a carton of Lucky Strikes in one of the back rooms, if you’d rather have one of them.”
“Naw, this’ll do for now, smokes is smokes.” Dan said as he took another drag of his cigarette. “Looks like the rain might be letting up, can I use your phone so I can call my boy?”
“Signal in here sucks, you might need to go out to the road to make a call.” Nate said as he handed his phone over to Dan.
“Appreciate it man, gonna go out there barefoot, hopefully the ground’s not too wet.”
As Dan reached the door, he pulled on the handle and it didn’t budge. He tried to push the door and it wouldn’t budge. “You need to release the lock so I can go outside.”
“It shouldn’t be locked.” Nate said as he came around the counter to the door and tried it himself. The door didn’t budge.
“I didn’t realize how foggy it got out here at night. Last time I saw fog this thick, I was driving down I-75 coming off the Smokies late at night headed to Chattanooga. The fog was so thick all I could see was the reflection of my headlights. Talk about white knuckle driving. Didn’t help I had to take a massive shit as well.” Dan said standing in front of a window and puffing on his cigarette.
“Between the red light and the fog, I feel like I’m in some bad horror movie, like something out of Monster Dog, you ever see that?” Nate said as he joined him at the window.
“Never heard of it, is that an episode of Scooby Doo?” Dan said as he handed Nate back his phone. “Don’t look like I’m making a call til the fog clears.”
“It’s about a pack of dogs that come out of the fog and kill people, it stars Alice Cooper.” Nate said opening YouTube on his screen, “I’m gonna see if it’s on YouTube, we can watch it.”
“Never heard of her. This fog is creepy enough,” Dan said. “I’m bored, I’m gonna go look around.” He said as he got up and started walking towards the back of the store. “You said everything in here is stuff they don’t want?” Dan started picking up items and looking at them.
“I’m assuming, I was told the store would be gone in the morning. That’s why I think they don’t care about vandals and just want to punish me by making me take a night shift.” Nate followed Dan to the back of the store.
“What’s in this room?” Dan said as he opened a door next to the restroom. A small wooden desk and chair sat pushed against a wall. Several boxes were piled haphazardly in the room, most of them looked like they were full register tape. One box had a piece of cloth hanging out of the corner. Dan pulled out the cloth to reveal a long blue robe with a matching cloth belt. Under that was a pair of grey sweat pants. “I’m gonna put these on, tired of being in wet clothes.”
“Uh huh,” Nate responded looking past Dan at an old transistor radio sitting on a high shelf. “I’m gonna see if this works, might have some news about the outage,” he said as he picked up the radio.
Dan came out of the restroom to find Nate sitting at the register. He’d taken the back off the radio and was playing with the wires. “You get it working?”
“Got the lights to come on, but so far no sound. I might be able to fix it if I had better lighting.”
Dan went back to the storage room and pulled out a plastic lounge chair he saw propped up in the back corner. “Gonna stretch out right here,” he said as he started to unfold the chair on top of the yellowish-brown lines that were left from when the shelving was removed. “Got anything to eat around here?”
“If you want to eat anything on these shelves, go for it. It’s all expired.” Nate said as he propped his feet up on the counter, setting the radio aside and lighting up a cigarette.
“Expired don’t mean it ain’t good.” Dan said as he started walking down the first aisle. “Jerky never goes bad, right? You want jalapeno or teriyaki? Hey you like potato chips, these Lays are a little dusty but should still be good. You never did tell me what happened to get your boss mad at you. I assume you didn’t hit him like I did mine, otherwise they probably woulda already fired your ass.”
“No, I didn’t hit my boss.” Nate said a bit exasperated. “I reported seeing a shoplifter at Target to store security."
“I’m not following, why is your boss mad at you?” Dan said as he came over and handed a beef jerky stick to Nate before taking his seat.
“Turns out the woman, I got arrested was the owner's niece. I don’t know what she’s telling people, but I got called into HR yesterday and told they are sending me here for the night to make sure no vandals break in. If the store is gonna be demolished and they don’t want anything, anyway, why am I here? Who cares if someone breaks in.”
“Fuck if I know. Any chance there’s beer still in that cooler?” Dan asked.
“No, I checked earlier, just a couple of broken bottles of something and a can of Miller that sprung a leak, there’s beer all over the floor in there,” Nate said. "There's also what looks like a handful of gummy bears that have been stepped on so much they are part of the floor."
“Guess it’s coffee and chips and teriyaki jerky for dinner then.” Dan said as he unwrapped the stick. This store sure does have a lot of stuff they don’t want. Let me see one of those hats hanging up there. I didn’t notice them earlier.” Dan pointed to a small shelf behind Nate.
Nate tossed him a Dr. Suess novelty hat. Putting it on his head Dan said, “Now I don’t feel so naked.”
The next morning Nate was startled awake by someone tugging at his ponytail. “He’s got more gray hair than grandma, how old do you think he is?” Nate opened his eyes to see three faces peering down at him.
The visitors backed up as Nate, his body stiff in protest, stood up and faced them. The three were almost as tall as he was. They all looked close in age and had the same coppery tan skin and blonde hair and slender build, siblings, he thought to himself.
“Where’s the dungeon, old man?” The tallest male asked
“Huh? What?” Nate responded.
“I’m gonna go look for it.” Said the slightly shorter male.
The female noticed Dan laying on the chair, hat over his face. “There’s a dwarf wizard living here, the dungeon must be here.”
“Sorry for our rudeness, we didn’t realize you were dungeon keepers.” The tall male said. “ I am Rydel, and that is Elred over there and this is our sister, Tisha. We are from the Ulmus clan. Can I ask what clan you are from?”
“My name’s Nate, I’m from Albany,” Nate responded.
“I don’t know them, maybe our grandmother does.” Rydel said.
“The dungeon is here, look,” Elred said from the back of the store, pointing at a red light above the beer cooler. “We’re too early, looks like it’s not ready yet.”
"We didn’t bring our gear, we’ll have to come back later anyway.” Rydel responded.
Dan was startled awake as Tisha bumped into him while she was bending down looking at his boots. Staring at her ass, he said “What a beautiful view to wake up to.”
Tisha turned to look at him, puzzled, “Were you talking to me?”
“I was just thinking you’re a tall glass of water and I sure am thirsty.” Dan said before noticing the other two speaking with Nate. “Whoa, this must be the land of the giants, you all are tall motherfuckers.”
“This store is full of magical items, this one says ‘Breakfast of Winners’. Can we buy this, Rye? Please?” Tisha asked.
Tisha carried the small box up to the register as Rydel tossed a gold coin on the counter. “Come on guys, we need to get home so we can get ready. We’ll return later when the dungeon is ready for us.”
“What do you think that was all about?” Nate said as the door shut behind the group.
“Fuck if I know, too early to think. I’m going back to sleep.” Dan said as he laid back down and pulled the hat back over his face.
“Dan! Get out here, I need you!” Nate called from just outside the front door. “Where are we!?” He called as Dan came into view.
“What do you mean?” Dan said as he stepped outside. “It didn’t look like this last night, did it? I don’t remember.”
“No it didn’t look like this last night, obviously!”
“Yeah, looks like someone stole your sign.”
“Do you not see the trees where the road should be!? Or the grass under our feet!? There should be asphalt and gas pumps out here! Where are they!?”
“Go start the coffee and calm the fuck down. I’m gonna go to the bathroom and once I’ve had a smoke and some wake up juice, we can talk.” Dan said as he walked back inside the store, followed by Nate.