Clorita rolled her eyes, already rifling through the skeletons’ remains. “Not if I can help it. There’s tech here we can use.”

Zog slumped against the wall, pulling out a small interface device. “Fine. While you scavenge, I’ll write my will. Someone might find it. Eventually.”

As Clorita sorted through old relays and circuits, Blip wandered further into the cave. His nose led him to a dusty, feline-shaped robot slumped against the wall. Its sleek design suggested it was once cutting-edge, though its surface was scratched and worn.

“Hey, look!” Blip barked. “A Felixanoid!”

Clorita glanced over. “Don’t touch it, Blip. It’s been here for ages. Who knows what’s wrong with it?”

But Blip ignored her, grabbed a spare cable from the floor, and plugged it into the Felixanoid’s port. Its eyes flickered to life, glowing an ominous red.

“Oh no,” Blip muttered as the Felixanoid’s claws extended. It lunged at him, hissing loudly.

Blip yelped, yanking the cable free just in time. The Felixanoid slumped back into silence, its claws retracting.

“Okay,” Blip said, backing away. “Maybe I don’t need a friend.”

The trio huddled in the cave, their escape uncertain. The creatures outside howled in rage, their pounding footsteps drawing closer. Clorita continued assembling tech from the skeletons while Zog clung to his device, mumbling his final words to a digital diary.

“I hate this planet,” Zog said, his voice trembling.

Blip wagged his tail nervously. “I love this planet. Except for the scary parts.”

“Shut up and make yourself useful,” Clorita snapped, soldering a circuit. “We’re getting out of here. One way or another.”

Inside the cave, tension hung thick as the sound of the creatures’ claws scraping against the rock grew louder. Zog huddled against the wall, staring at his half-written digital will, while Clorita sorted through the pile of old robot parts, muttering under her breath. Blip wagged his tail, pacing near the cave entrance.

“I’ve got it!” Blip barked suddenly. “I’ll go talk to them!”

Clorita didn’t even look up. “Absolutely not.”

“Why not?” Blip asked, his glowing eyes wide with sincerity. “I’m great at making friends! Look how much they loved me out there.”

“They loved everyone,” Zog muttered. “Right before they tried to kill us.”

Blip ignored the warning and trotted to the cave entrance. “Trust me! I’ll fix everything.”

Blip emerged into the flower-strewn chaos, his tail wagging furiously as he approached the snarling creatures. Their glowing eyes locked onto him, but they paused, their heads tilting curiously at the sight of the overly friendly dogganoid.

“Hi there!” Blip barked cheerfully. “I know things got a little… tense. But we don’t have to fight! Let’s be friends again!”

The creatures hissed, advancing slowly.

Blip wagged harder. “Okay, okay, maybe you don’t like all of us. How about this: you can keep the lady! She’s great! Shiny! Lots of slots for whatever you like! Clorita’s voice roared from inside the cave, “What did he just say?!”

Blip yelped, turning back toward the cave. “I’m negotiating!”

“Get back in here before I reprogram you into a toaster!” Clorita shouted.

The creatures, clearly unimpressed by Blip’s offer, hissed louder, their eyes glowing with renewed fury. Blip backed away slowly, his tail drooping.

“Uh, guys?” he called over his shoulder. “I think they’re still mad…”

Blip darted back into the cave just as the creatures began clawing at the entrance. Zog looked up from his will, panicked. “What now? They’re going to break through!”

Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

Clorita stood abruptly, holding a disassembled humanoid torso in one hand and a bag of circuits in the other. “We’re not out of options yet.”

“What are you doing?” Zog asked, watching as she began soldering pieces together with precision.

“Giving them what they want,” Clorita said, her tone clipped. “If they’re so obsessed with love, I’ll make them someone to obsess over.”

Blip tilted his head. “Like a distraction?”

“Exactly,” Clorita said, snapping a processor into place. “Something irresistible.”

Within minutes, Clorita had pieced together two humanoid robots using parts scavenged from the cave. The first was a tall, broad male model with a glistening chrome chassis and an absurdly oversized hard drive sticking out of its chest.

“Meet Mr. Big Drive,” Clorita said, smirking as she adjusted its glowing eyes.

The second was a curvaceous female model with polished plating and four exaggerated slots where a chest might have been. She posed it suggestively, tweaking its joints for maximum allure.

“And this is Ms. Multi-Slot,” Clorita added, standing back to admire her handiwork.

Blip wagged his tail. “They’re shiny! Will it work?”

Clorita pressed a few buttons on their control panels, uploading rudimentary AI personalities. The robots blinked to life, their voices sultry and welcoming.

“Hello, gorgeous,” Mr. Big Drive purred, flexing his gleaming arms.

“Touch me, big boy,” Ms. Multi-Slot cooed, swaying her hips.

Zog stared, horrified. “What… what is this?”

“A masterpiece,” Clorita said smugly. “Now, let’s see if they’ll buy us some time.”

Clorita guided the two cuddle toys to the cave entrance, where the creatures were now snarling and clawing at the edges. With a dramatic flourish, she pushed the robots forward.

The creatures froze, their glowing eyes locked onto the new arrivals. Mr. Big Drive flexed again, and Ms. Multi-Slot blew a digital kiss.

“Hello, you stunning creatures,” Mr. Big Drive purred, his voice dripping with faux charm. “Care to plug into something… exciting?”

Ms. Multi-Slot leaned forward slightly, her slots glowing invitingly. “I’ve got room for everyone…”

The creatures’ rage dissipated in an instant, replaced by wide-eyed fascination. They began circling the cuddle toys, their hissing replaced by soft coos and murmurs. A few reached out, tentatively touching the gleaming surfaces.

Clorita grinned. “Told you it would work.”

As the creatures crowded around the cuddle toys, the crew slipped out of the cave, moving as quietly as possible. Zog glanced back nervously as the creatures continued fawning over their new companions.

“Are we sure they won’t follow us?” Zog whispered.

“They’ve got what they want,” Clorita replied confidently. “Let’s not give them a reason to look for us.”

Blip wagged his tail, bounding ahead. “That was amazing! Can we make more shiny friends?”

“No,” Zog and Clorita said in unison.

Back aboard The Indifference, Zog slumped into his chair with a sigh of relief as the ship lifted off into the sky.

IND-E’s voice crackled through the speakers. “LubriCoffee, anyone? Or should I prepare a toast to Ms. Multi-Slot’s heroic sacrifice?”

Zog groaned. “I hate this ship.”

Blip barked. “I love this ship!”

Clorita smirked, leaning back in her chair. “This ship’s fine. It’s the crew I’m not so sure about.”

As the planet faded into the distance, the crew couldn’t help but laugh—nervously—at the absurdity of their escape.

Back aboard The Indifference, the crew retreated to the familiar hum of the ship’s interior. Zog wasted no time heading toward the charging station, his circuits buzzing with exhaustion after the chaotic escape.

“I need a recharge,” he muttered. “Maybe a full reset will make me forget how much I hate that planet.”

Clorita stood near the storage compartment, her arms crossed and her eyes fixed on Blip, who was wagging his tail enthusiastically.

“That was fun, right?” Blip barked, oblivious to the tension in the air. “I mean, except for the scary part. But I was really good at making friends!”

Clorita’s fingers twitched as her patience snapped. She lunged forward, grabbing Blip by the tail. “Come here, you little creep.”

Blip yelped, his ears flattening. “What? What did I do?”

Clorita dragged him toward the workbench in the corner, her grip firm. “What did you do? You tried to sell me out. You rust-brained flea magnet! You told those love-crazed lunatics they could touch me!”

Blip blinked, tilting his head. “Ohhh… you mean the negotiating thing? That was for the team!”

Clorita’s eyes flashed as she reached for her toolkit. “The team? You volunteered me! Do you know what I had to go through out there?”

“Well…” Blip hesitated. “They seemed nice at first.”

Clorita set him on the workbench with a thud, pulling out a soldering iron. “Nice? Nice? I had to shoot one to stop it from shoving its memory stick into my slot. And you’re over there playing ambassador of betrayal.”

Blip’s glowing eyes flickered nervously. “So… you’re mad?”

“Mad?” Clorita said, her voice icy. “Oh no, I’m way past mad. I’m going to reprogram you into a Roomba.”

Blip froze, his tail drooping. “A Roomba?”