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Beyond Chaos - A DiceRPG
598. Goofs and Gaffs

598. Goofs and Gaffs

“Jurot says you’re stronger now,” Jaygak accused, shaking Adam’s forearm.

“I am,” Adam replied.

Jaygak sighed, her eyes falling to the baby. “Another child of yours?”

“Something like that.”

“Your grandfather is going to be happy.”

“Whose my grandfather?” Adam huffed in reply. He settled with the rest of the group, crossing his arms. “So, we probably haven’t split too far if we all got grouped together like this?”

“Or they are on the other side of the planet,” Jaygak said.

“Really?”

“It could be the case.”

Adam sighed. He glanced to Bell, wondering if he had anything he could do in this situation. As he stared at Bell, the baby turned white, displaying his various abilities on his stomach.

“Hmm?” Adam blinked. “Wait. What?” Adam leaned in to stare at the baby’s stomach.

“What are you looking at?” Jaygak asked. ‘Is he into stomachs? Is that why he always blows against the children’s stomachs?’

Adam reached for his axe and held out his hand. “Aren’t you hungry?” As he chanted the words, berries formed within his hand, dropping to the earth around him. “I’ve got all my spells prepared.”

“All your spells?” Jaygak asked. “You mean those which you know?”

“Apparently so.”

Jaygak blinked. It was already ridiculous enough that Adam’s spells seemed to be cheaper to cast in terms of the raw magic required, but he also had access to every spell? That was…

‘Crazy!’ Jaygak’s heart cried, causing her to sigh. ‘How could he…’

Jaygak stood up, her eyes wide. She caught Kitool’s eyes with her own, and it took her companion a moment to understand what was going through Jaygak’s mind. Jaygak quickly shuffled away, before she help up her hands and chanted, calling out the flames from her finger tips, which spread across the air. She waited for a moment, before chanting once more, and another set of fire escapes from her finger tips. She caught Kitool’s eyes, her own fill of mischief. She continued to throw up the fire, mesmerised by the heat and light.

“All magic is enhanced?” Jurot asked.

“Not weapons,” Kitool said. “Only spells?”

Jurot nodded in response. Every world was different, though this world seemed to be one of the greatest. He stared at the sky again, noting the fading stars. He realised there were fewer stars in the sky than typical, by about a tenth. His eyes trailed across the different streaks of light, and then the shattered moons around the land.

“If only the kids were here,” Adam grumbled quietly. “Then I could show off as much as I wanted to.”

“We will need to explore the land in order to leave the world,” Jurot said, certain there was a way out, there always was.

“What do we need to do?”

“A feat must be accomplished.”

“What kind of feat?”

“Killing the Dragon which plagues the land,” Jaygak said, having returned from her fun of letting out fire.

“Or training the villagers to defeat it,” Kitool added.

“Or kill a great opponent in single combat,” Jurot said. “There are many ways.”

“Well, let’s figure it out quickly. We don’t have long until my little gobbos are one.” Adam made a face as he thought about his children, as though he was satisfied by a great meal. Then worry flashed across it. ‘What if we take too long?’

“Time may pass different here,” Jurot warned. “We may spend a year here and only a week may pass.”

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

“Or…” Kitool added, but she did not say more, seeing the look of shock, and anger, on Adam’s face.

“If we miss my children’s birthday, I’ll have a word with Baktu,” Adam said, holding his amulet. “How dare the Gods interfere! If it’s because of them that I’ll miss my beautiful little babbies’ birthdays, I’ll…” Adam noted Vonda from the corner of his eye. “I’ll write a sternly worded letter.”

Vonda wasn’t sure if she should be glad he had left it at that, or if she should be offended that he would dare to belittle the Gods in such a way.

“Let us take watches,” Jurot said, quickly stopping the blasphemous talk.

“I’ll summon Zeus and Hades,” Adam said, casting his spells, watching as his Mana was reduced by just a single point for his Find Steed spell, summoning the giant elk to them, before realising he was carrying a bunch of stuff, and now it was all gone.

‘Damn it!’

Hades remained atop the tower as Adam began to fall asleep, stewing in his annoyance and anger. Then a thought flashed through his mind. ‘How did I summon Hades if I didn’t use the dust? I definitely cast the spell, and didn’t summon him from nothingness…’

Omen: 1, 12

The night had passed uneventfully, though Jurot had been excited to awaken to a giant sea creature which could tear apart the land with its might. The group ate breakfast, eating the berries Adam was able to create infinitely, before they made their way through the land, following the coast from nearby.

Jaygak, somehow, was able to contain herself from casting her fire so much. With her ability to now cast Burning Hands near infinitely, her strength had reached the same heights as Kitool and Jurot.

Vonda and the porters each rode one of the Awakened Wolves, since each was technically now the weakest. Without her magic, Vonda was far weaker than a typical Expert, whereas Remy and Jeremy, who had somehow gained the abilities of an Expert and were now technically stronger than Vonda, were still weaker than the Adam or the trio of Iyrmen.

Adam blinked as they saw a group of tiny little figures in the distance, who were quickly rushing towards the group. They were pale skinned, with large eyes, and long pointed ears. The tallest managed to reach their waists. Each was adorned in a long piece of cloth which wrapped around them, and wore a blade made of bone at their side.

Adam sighed, thinking of Jirot and Jarot, and the others understood why he had sighed, considering how similar to Goblins these creatures looked. Remy and Jeremy were a little confused, though, but made no comment.

The creatures rushed over to them until they were about fifty steps away, and since either group hadn’t drawn their weapons, they stopped and waited. After a moment, the creatures chattered between one another, pointing towards Adam’s group. They eyed up most of the group suspiciously, but pointed to Jurot and Kitool excitedly, jabbering away in their own little language.

“Gasha karaka?”

“Gishu, bodi.”

“Bodi? Cheka bodi! Cheka bodi!” The little figure slapped the other upside the head. “Hua bodi?”

“Cheka bodi!” the other replied, smacking his companion upside the head. “Bodi bodi bodi!”

“Bodi!” The pair began to brawl, while the others ignored the two.

Adam reached down to his amulet, and waved his hand around as he spoke, causing the others to look his way.

Spell: Comprehend Languages

“What did he do?”

“Magic?”

“Nothing happened.”

“Maybe he’s trying to communicate to us?”

“Why are they so big?”

“Are they Mular?”

“They’re not Mular, you idiot, look! Some of them are made of metal.”

“That’s not metal, that’s armour.”

“Armour is made of metal.”

“You know what I mean, you idiot.”

“Idiot? You’re the idiot! You’re the idiot! Whose the idiot?” Another pair began to fight together.

“Look at the one with the axe, he is so handsome.”

“Very handsome.”

“His armour is purple?”

“Armour can’t be purple.”

“Silver armour, black armour, blue armour.”

“There’s gold armour too.”

“Not any more.”

“Maybe it’s a different type of gold?”

“A different type of gold? Are you an idiot?”

“Idiot? You’re the idiot! You’re the idiot! Whose the idiot?” Another pair began to fight.

Adam removed his helmet, staring down at the group, before clearing his throat. The group looked up at him, the six who were fighting no longer fighting. “Hello there.”

“Yucky! Look at this ugly guy!”

Another grabbed his stomach and stumbled away to gag. “It should be against the law to be that ugly.”

“Look at them! No wonder they wear armour, they must not be allowed to walk around to show their face.”

“I’ve always said only ugly people wear armour.”

“Ugly people and smart people.”

“Yucky, smart people.”

“Yucky!” They all began to chant together.

Adam’s brow twitched. “Jurot, I’m about to beat them up.”

“What are they saying?”

“They’re calling me ugly.”

Jurot reached down for his axe, causing them all to straighten up in shock. Adam reached out a hand to calm Jurot down, before he dropped to his knee. “Hello there.”

“Yucky!” the group all began to chant again, before they looked at Jurot.

“You there! Can you speak our tongue?” one asked.

“What did he say?”

“He asked if you could speak their tongue.”

“No.” Jurot shook his head.

“Can they understand us?”

“Obviously not.”

“We can’t be too sure. You there, ugly one! Clap your hands if you can understand us.”

Adam clapped his hands, but his brow continued to pulse. ‘I’m a handsome guy, you bastard! My Aunt even says so!’

“That’s just a coincidence. Hey, cross your arms if you’re tall.”

Adam did so.

“Oooooh!” they all gasped up at Adam.

“Okay, you tell the handsome one our words. Clap hands for yes, cross arms for no.”

Adam clapped his hands. “They said clap your hands for yes, cross your arms for no.”

“Okay.”

“What are you doing here?” one asked.

Adam blinked.

“That’s not a yes or no question, idiot.”

Adam pointed at them.

“What? What’s he doing?”

“He’s pointing at us.”

“You think he’s asking us?”

“That might be it.”

“We’re trapped here by a Sea God.”

Adam looked to Jurot. “They’re trapped here by a Sea God.”

Jurot huffed, almost smirking, before he clapped his hands.

“Oooh!” they all replied together.

‘This is going to take a while…’