“We heard you were coming from another party,” the Guard said, staring down at Adam, eyeing the Half Elf in puthral. He wasn’t quite looking down at Adam, as the Half Elf was taller.

“Really now?” Adam said, shaking his head. ‘I can smell the trouble I’m in.’

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” the Guard asked.

Adam glanced up, noting the Guards on the walls. They had gathered at least five Guards, each of whom were pointing a crossbow at him.

“I assume you mean those little babies came by and told you how we saved them?” Adam asked. “Or did they end up saying a bunch of nonsense?”

“Not quite what we heard,” the Guard admitted. “You’re going to need to come with us.”

“Why?” Adam asked. “From what I recall, and Jurot here can back me up, but we found them trying to kill one another and saved their lives. We even invited them to eat roasted boar with us, and I was going to invite them for more, but that young man wanted to keep his harem to himself. I can respect that.”

Lucy chuckled slightly. “I thought that too.”

The Guard threw a glance to the Devilkin for a moment. “Considering your company, you shouldn’t make this troublesome for yourself.”

“My company? You mean Jurot? What’s wrong with Jurot? You got a problem with Iyrmen here, mister Guard? I’ll have you know, Jurot, the son of Surot, is a great warrior. His family has done so much for the Iyr, and he himself has many accomplishments in his belt. Earlier this year, he slew a Dragon.”

The Guard blinked rapidly. “Not the Iyrman,” the Guard said, nodding to Jurot, “but the Devilkin.”

“The Devilkin?”

“I’m no-“

Adam slapped her back. “Lucy here is a great warrior, and a Guest of the Iyr. She’s also a member of…” Adam paused. ‘Wait, no she isn’t.’ “She’s about to be the latest member of our party, which Jurot here is a key figure within.”

“Enough!” the Guard said. “You must come with us!”

“Why?” Adam asked. “I’m an Adventurer, and I have some pertinent information for the Adventurer’s Guild which needs to be told immediately.”

“Look!” the Guard growled, at the end of his rope. If Adam wasn’t an Adventurer, this would have gone much more smoothly. “We would appreciate it if you listened.”

“Do you have them in your custody then?”

“No.”

“Then we will head to the Guild where those other bas-“ Adam coughed into his fist, “babies are, and you can take us both from there. We’ve been travelling through the wild for so long and I just want a nice hot bath, and a nice hot meal, before you start to interrogate us, have some kind of misunderstanding, because it’s me, and you’ll find out that we saved a bunch of no good low lives.” Adam stared at the Guard. “So I’d really appreciate it if you took our gate fee and let us head to the Guild.”

The Guard sighed. “You must follow us, or we will consider to to be resisting arrest.”

“Bastard!” Lucy shouted. “Who do you think you are?”

Adam grabbed her mouth, though she continued to shout all manner of curses towards the Guard into his mouth.

“Yes, yes, we will definitely get you mustard on your whodyudinare,” Adam said, trying to stop her from getting them killed. Even he, who joked around with the Guards, wouldn’t outright try to aggravate them.

Lucy grumbled into his hand before pulling herself away from his hand. “Don’t touch me like that again.”

“As long as you don’t stay stupid shit,” Adam replied, simply. “Since you’re insisting, but I’ll be sure to inform the Vice Master if we do not receive proper compensation for the slander against our names.”

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

“Yeah, yeah,” the Guard replied, shaking his head. ‘I don’t get paid enough for this shit.’

“Here,” Adam said, tossing out two copper coins. “The gate fee.”

“There are three of you,” the Guard said.

“Lucy isn’t an Adventurer.”

“You expect me to believe that?”

“Go bring the Vice Master and he’ll confirm it,” Adam said. “We were going to sign her up today.”

“If we find out you’re lying,” the Guard warned.

“Lucy, are you an Adventurer?” Adam asked.

“No,” she replied. “I’ve only spent my time in the Iyr.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Adam said. “For a second I doubted even myself.”

“You will still have to pay the gate fee,” the Guard said.

“Seriously?”

“Yes,” the Guard and Jurot said.

“Oh.”

The Guards led the trio towards their estate, which was huge.

“Damn,” Adam said. “They really didn’t mess around.” It reminded him about the estates which the Nobles put him up in during his previous Quest. ‘Other than Deadwood, those bastards.’

It was huge, with enough space for five Guards to run side by side along the stone pathway for some time, with a number of buildings on either side, a tower, and a large building which probably held most of what the Guards required within it, from the canteen to their quarters.

The Guards took Adam and the others to a building off to the side which currently had two Guards waiting, but as nearby Guards saw Adam and the others being brought along, another eight followed.

Someone else took Zeus to the side, towards a small area they could tie him to.

‘Don’t start trouble,’ Adam thought to Zeus. ‘If they attack you, scream loudly, but remain on all fours.’

“You’ll need to disarm yourselves,” the Guard said.

Adam chuckled, and then noted the Guard staring at him. “Oh, you were serious? Look. We’ve come here with you with very little trouble, and we’re happy to wait here for an hour, but if you don’t bring those pricks here within an hour, I’m going to call the Vice Master here to deal with the lot of you.”

“As if you know the Vice Master.”

“Know him?” Adam smiled. “Oh. Right. You probably don’t know, do you?” Adam looked to Jurot. “Well, either way, I’m sure the Vice Master will come if you mention my name, or Jurot’s.”

“Uhuh,” the Guard said. “Disarm yourselves.”

“You would ask an Iyrman to disarm?” Jurot asked, raising his brows towards the Guard.

“Nothing against you, Iyrman, but we have rules,” the Guard said.

“Yes, and I know the King’s Law,” Jurot said. “I do not need to disarm myself.”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to,” the Guard said.

“The last time an Iyrman was asked to disarm himself by an Aldishman, the town North of here disappeared, and the Blackwater family almost came to an end,” Jurot warned.

The Guard remained silent, staring at Jurot. “Is that a threat?”

“Yes,” Jurot replied. “If you wish to disarm me, it will be only after you pluck my shield and axe from my cold, dead hands.”

Adam coughed. ‘Damn, Jurot. Why the fuck are you so cool?’

“Iyrman, do not dig yourself into a deeper hole,” the Guard said, gripping his spear tighter.

“Hey,” a Guard said. “Leave the Iyrman alone. Just go get those kids from earlier and sort this out.”

“He-“

“I know what he did, but it’s above our pay grade,” the wise Guard said. “I don’t know why you decided to bring an Iyrman in, but it’s not for us to deal with.”

“Huh,” Adam said. “This wasn’t how it was meant to go. You were meant to start trouble with Jurot, then he’d slay a bunch of you before you brought your Captain here, only for him, or her, them,” Adam half twitched as he said, “to remember that Iyrmen can do whatever they want and they can’t be punished by any of you. Then, Jurot would go home, explain the situation, and the Iyrmen would come with a bunch of Mithril Rank Iyrmen to speak politely with you guys.” Adam leaned in and whispered. “When I say speak politely, I mean a bunch of you might die.”

The Guards stared at Adam long and hard, and there was a moment when they stared between one another.

‘I think he’s right.’

‘Yeah.’

‘What kind of trouble are we in?’

‘Just get those little brats.’

Adam hoisted his axe up and handed it to Jurot, doing the same with his warhammer. “They won’t take stuff from you, probably.”

Jurot nodded.

Lucy, who didn’t hold any obvious weapons, rubbed the ring on her finger, smirking slightly.

Adam winked at her, before taking a seat, waiting.

Lucy sat to one side, and Jurot the other.

“I thought they were going to start more trouble,” one Guard said.

“If only they weren’t Adventurers and there wasn’t an Iyrman,” another replied.

“Could have had some target practise,” a third said. “My shoulder’s been a little iffy, so my aim’s gone off.”

“How was it that you came to fighting grandfather?” Jurot asked, cutting the Guard’s conversation short.

“He said something in poor taste about your mother and I called him a bastard,” Adam said.

“You called grandfather a bastard?” Jurot asked.

“Yeah.”

“But you are still alive.”

“Yeah?” Adam said, looking to the Iyrman beside him. “What do you mean?”

“Calling an Iyrman a bastard is one way of dying,” Jurot said.

“Oh. Really?”

“Yes.”

“Damn. I guess Aunt Sonarot saved my life?” Adam said, wondering what had happened when he was knocked out. “I don’t know. I don’t think your gramps was going to kill me even if I did call him a bastard.”

Jurot nodded his head slowly. “Then how did you come to face Grandaunt?”

“She wanted to fight me after your gramps spoke highly of me,” Adam said. “Apparently, he said that I was pretty strong.”

“You are.”

Adam smiled.

“Then you faced Grandaunt the next day?”

“Yeah,” Adam replied, trying to keep his smile away.

“I wish to face grandfather and Grandaunt too,” Jurot said, puffing out his cheeks slightly. ‘Adam has the best fun.’

“I’ll tell you the full story another time,” Adam said. “Too many unwanted ears about.”

Jurot nodded.

The Guard glanced between one another.

‘This guy is fucking crazy. No wonder he seems like trouble.’