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9. We don't need no stinking badges

9. We don't need no stinking badges

  While hunting Bullhares in the patches of woods Outside of Greenthorn's walls, I learned two things during our one and only Coyadae encounter. Well three if we count learning I'm too slow to chase Bullhare's and needed Ned and Randy to 'lead' them my direction. I learned that the 'combat mode' is comparable to a heightened sense of awareness. A surge of adrenaline and strong instinct to fight or flee, respectively. Ned Explained that it was our 'body' reacting to hostile mana. Because the Bullhares only tried to escape, they never registered combat mode. The second thing I learned was what I had assumed was EXP, was actually our avatars absorbing some of the fallen monsters mana. The feeling is indescribable, and the Bullhares where only a 'drop in the bucket' I was told. Gaining exp, or mana was like feeling the intense emotions of love and hate, at the same time, while your avatar gets a 'full body' workout without the soreness afterwards. Our stat's didn't have the ability to monitor the gain or loss, but it did register our levels. I was informed if we died in combat we kept our current level, but forfeit all progress to the next, to our executioner.

  "So where did you two learn to skin their hides like that?" Ned asked, while we were heading towards the gates of Greenthorn.

  "Well.. we may have been raised in the ghetto, but our pops was born and raised in the south. When he was sober enough to knock down a buck, It was our jobs to break it down." I replied.

  "Oh, sorry if that kinda stuff is sensitive or whatever." Ned compensated.

  "No worries, If we were sensitive about it, we'd never bring it up.

I don't know, my brain just processes it differently than others I guess." I admitted.

  "The fat in his head just absorbs it all. That's what he meant to say." Mocked Randy.

  "Fuck you, dude" I cursed him, then myself for giving him the setup.

  "Well his bow was effective enough, so Randy will probably get a good price for the meat and hides. Even better than average, actually because they're already broken down. Most adventurers just sell the whole body, but broken down monster parts are worth more than their sum whole. Merchants tend to lower the price, regarding the work and disposal involved." Proclaimed Ned, changing the subject.

  "Yeah, well I doubt Aristotle played many VR games." I chuckled.

Randy looked puzzled as I continued, "I need to get a ranged weapon, My firebreath is great and all, but doesn't leave much worth selling. Luckily I'm not bad at throwing knives, but this skinning knife wasn't balanced for that."

  Everyone laughed, recalling my earlier struggles.

   "Yo I was thinking, These rabbit hides aint really worth tanning. We should sell them as-is, to save the salt and time. Specially your scraps little brother, ain't enough here to stretch out." Randy cackled.

  "Yeah yeah, I'm also going to look for something to use instead of the monsters brain, like a tanning solution." I grimaced.

  Just as we were approaching the guard's, they crossed their spears, to hinder our path.

  "Halt! There are reports of you three hunting just outside the walls, please present your adventurer's guild badges." The guard ordered.

  Instantly Randy went into his impression of a classic movie line, "Badges, we don't need no stinking badges!"

  "So your poachers!" The second guard exclaimed, as we began to feel the combat mode engage.

  "Wait, if y-" Ned couldn't finish his thought, while fumbling buttons on his PAC.

  "What! We didn't know we needed 'permission' to hunt. So what is there some kinda fine, for hunting our own food?" Randy interrupted.

  "The penalty for poaching is five gold coins, peasant." The guard scoffed, assuming Randy would be silenced by the costly fine.

  "Oh is that all, here take your fucking money, and shut tha fuck up! I know my rights, Pig." Randy shouted arrogantly as his PAC started to glow.

  The insulted guard's face burned red, as he thrust his weapon into the suddenly appearing shield, I barely had time to place between them.

  SKILL LEARNED! GUARD (Combat/active)

  I ignored the notification from my glowing PAC.

  "Whoa! What's the deal asshole, I'M TRYING TO PAY YOU!" Randy shook the gold coins in the guards face, again.

  "Excuse me sir, I HAVE an adventurer's guild badge, and because I've never been asked for it before, I forgot what it looked like. Forgive my rude companions, they're foreigners and fools. Please forget this incident, and allow us through. I'll see that they get their badges right away." Ned finally produced the item he was searching for, a shiny bronze insignia.

  "Seeing as you have the proper credentials, Please see to it your companions stay out of trouble from now on." The guard barked, as he removed the coins from Randy's hand. "I'll see that this makes it to the Bailiff."

  Randy scowled at the guard, but reluctantly complied. We passed the hefty wooden gates, back into the town of Greenthorn.

  "I didn't know you two hadn't registered at the guildhall, I really should of asked you." Ned reprimanded himself.

  "Nah, those guards were runnin' a scam. They knew we weren't registered adventurers, and wanted to 'settle out of court' for the money we had. Can't bullshit a bullshitter." Randy grinned, "Besides I got a new skill from it, called Bribe."

  "I got a skill called Guard, when I saved your ass back there." I teased.

  "You mean you saved that guard. Boy, I was 'bout to Dwarf him up!" He half laughed, half boasted.

  "So I guess now we go to the adventurers guild. Its probably too late to register, but we can get a bunk and a meal there. Tomorrow we can hunt some Coyadaes." Ned directed.

  "Yup, you're the party leader. So lead on." I replied.

  "Yo, we gotta sell this stuff, tomorrow. I managed to pocket 'a coin, when the guard attacked... But I'm still out 4 gold." Randy noted.

  "You slick muthafucker, I got 2(g) for you, since I was just as guilty." I sneered, handing Randy 2 gold coins.

  "That covers the registration fee. 2 gold each, but for that you get a bunk at the guild hall, and access to quests and services all across Devnia." Ned remarked.

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  "That's the name of this continent, Devnia?" I cringed, What's the planet called... Creadirt?!" I roared.

  "I didn't think it was that bad," Ned admitted, "To us this planet's called PLSR-08, but the NPC's call it Methuselah." Ned informed.

  "Oh. That one sounds kinda dope." Randy included.

  That's because its a rip-off of an actual 13billion year old exoplanet, confirmed on July, 8th 2003." I criticized, "Not even original."

  Ned stared blankly at me for a moment and said, "Guess it's hard to name stuff, huh?"

  "I'd of called it 'Bru-topia!" I joked.

  Ned cringed, "Now that's truly horrid!"

                    -----

  The adventurers guild was one of the lavish and gaudy buildings closest to the castle. It was riddled with halls and towers, and had at least 18 windows on the front side. It was truly intimidating and proportionately luxurious. It was larger than a cathedral, and trimmed with silverite and cryspar in equally poor taste. My grandmother always said: 'When looking for a church, first check what kinda car the preacher drives.' If G-ma saw this place, she would spit on the threshold. Inside Ned had arranged a simple meal, and an even simpler cot for us, but we were grateful. Randy and I alternated watch, through out the night. One would sleep while the other pretended to sleep, truly on full alert. A simple whistle signalled the change in turns. This was not new to us, an old habit of being ready incase the old man came home feeling rowdy.

  Once morning came, we were up before Ned so we headed to the main hall to register. The Main hall was wider than my entire loft apartment and as long as 12 or 15 city buses. The hall was absolutely bustling with activity and noise. So we asked an old Orc who was sitting off to the side, sipping coffee and watching adventurers walk by, for directions.

  "Hey ol' man, where do we sign up for the fancy badges?" Randy called over the hustle and bustle.

  "Who are you calling old?! In my day I'd-" The senior adventurer trailed off, examining my avatar.

  "You'd walk 15 miles.. to get your ass whooped, yeah yeah. Where do we sign up?!" Randy chastised.

  Completely ignoring Randy, The veteran Orc turned to me and asked, "What beast do you hail from boy?"

  "Oh, my Beastkin type, I'm Dragonkin. Everyone call's me a Lizardman though, and its getting kinda old." I complained, "And my name is Bruno."

  "They're fools Bruno, don't mind them. Oh, you two are looking to sign up for the adventurers guild. Usually one would get in that line and hope to be seen today." He pointed at a line you would see in a DMV, and continued, "But this veteran adventurer, still has a few connections. Follow me."

  The old Orc was much taller than he appeared to be. He had a bald tattooed head, and grey eyebrows. He had two tusks that emerged out of his lower lip, about three inches, in a nasty underbite. He had bulkier muscles than Randy or I, and was clad in heavy silverite plate armor with ram's skull insignia's. There was a ringing 'kachink, kachink' with every step he took. We followed him to door marked "Novice Adventurers Hall 6." Behind it we found a large room, with several desks and sparse furnishings. The Orc motioned for us to take a seat at a younger Orc's desk. He was scrawny in comparison to the old Orc who brought us here.

  "Good morning Chief Jorghan!" The young Orc stood and bowed his head.

  "No need for all that, just sit down Kelvin." Jorghan replied, "I brought Two young warriors, who'd like to sign up for the adventurers guild. The line out there is so long, they'd never get seen today."

  "But I'm not suppos-" Young Kelvin thought for a moment, and changed his mind. "Sure, I can do that. After all its not everyday the village Chief asks for a favor!"

  "Boy, I've told you this enough. When I'm here I'm an adventurer, not a village Chief." Jorghan gently reminded, on his way to the door.

  "Take care of young Bruno there," Jorghan added before leaving, "He has potential."

  "What'd you do to impress the chief? Beat a monster to death, with another monster?!" Kelvin exclaimed.

  "That's my new goal in life!" Randy snapped his fingers, looking at Kelvin.

  "I only told him my name, how does he know anything about me?" I asked.

  "He's a good judge of character, I hope you do live up to his expectations, Lets get started by filling out these papers and recording your skills." Kelvin said.

                    -----

  After filling out several paper's with a mixture of game data, like my species and stats, and my real world address etc. I found myself in a large room, much like the one Ned summoned during my tutorial. Only the far background wasn't an infinitely white room, and the practice dummy was different. I was asked to demonstrate and explain my skills.

  "This one is an active skill, so I have to activate it. This Is what my Basic fireball evolved into because of my race I guess." I announced while demonstrating my Firebreath skill. "And I have this one called Dragon scales, its passive so its always engaged. It resists 10% of all elemental effects, like magic 'n weather."

  "Ok, anything else?" The recorded asked.

  "Just Appraisal. Oh wait, I just got this skill earlier while being mugged by the guards!" I recalled, while equipping my shield. "This one's called Guard, and it nullifies 25% of all damage when defending myself or a party member."

  I activated the skill, and my shield resonated and illuminated slightly.

  "I see. Well that's all I needed. Kelvin will get you a badge." The recorder informed.

                    -----

   Randy and I received 4 inch diameter, bronze badge in the shape of a tear drop with decorative Laurels along the sides and a banner on the bottom were our name's were engraved. After that we met Ned in the Main hall, and showed him the shiny new prizes we had obtained. Then we went to the market to practically give away our extra Bullhare hides and meat. I then used the small sum to buy more salt, and a Tanning solution I used Appraisal to make myself from now on. Randy and I purchased small tents and a cheap blankets until we could make our own later. I stopped by the Blacksmith and purchased some throwing knives that required 5(spd) to equip, after eyeing a bow that I couldn't equip because of my low Agility. I found out the hard way that trying to use a weapon when you don't have the stat needed, feels like I imagine an aneurysm does, Severely painful. I don't understand the logic, but I can't do anything but accept it.

  Walking through the gates. There were different guards on duty than the ones who stopped us last night. We headed to the patches of wood's a little further north, looking for Coyadaes. After about an hour of finding nothing but Bullhares, We finally stumbled across a pack of four. In the midst of thick trees an brush Randy Ned and I prepared to attack. First I used my AVA to identify one:

    Creature: Coyadae  Level:3   HP:90/90

  A canine monster related to wolves, though smaller and less dangerous. Known to fight in packs but flee when alone.

  If only Lila would read the information out loud, then I'd have a poketdex, I thought.

  Randy nocked an arrow, then drew and aimed at the big one. Ned readied his hands for a spell than nodded. I moved around the pack as slowly and quietly as I could, to cut off their escape. Being in the woods, I couldn't use Firebreath, so I readied my throwing knives and summoned my 1h axe, then holstered it in my belt for easy access. Randy and Ned fired their ranged attack's at the same time. The arrow Randy loosed met Its target, the head of the biggest Coyadae. With a muted Thwak sound and the monster's immediate yelp It collapsed. Neds Windshot was a bit louder, but hit a second Coyadae, with force just as lethal. The remaining two darted my way Trying to escape, and My knife stopped one, permanently, but the other was too fast for me. It bolted past me, and into a large clearing, Randy, Ned and I all gave chase, But before we could catch up to it, we were surprised to hear It shrieking as we approached, weapons and hands drawn. The Coyadae had been caught by a different predator hunting these woods. One that was looking to catch us next.