I'm pretty sure I regained consciousness, to the sounds of being insulted by a voice I didn't recognize. The details are blurry but I'm sure I heard something like this:
"I don't understand Ms. Leibowitz, I was lead to believe the invitations were only assigned to non-smoking, non-drinking, physically fit teens. So why do we have an overweight 22 year old candidate, who smells of cigarettes?" The strange man demanded.
"I thought it strange as well, but its rare that a variable candidate would just volunteer themselves, I checked his stats, and they are within the necessary parameters. On top of that he had the gold rank invitation!" A very sweet voice pointed out.
"I plan to file an C237 report about this Ms. Leibowitz," The annoying middle-aged man scolded, "I would prepare for a demerit, if I were you."
There was a moment of silence followed by some footsteps and then I heard a voice, I was sure was made out of honey. It spoke softly,
"You can get up now, I'm aware you've regained consciousness." She said.
After what I'm sure was a thousand sun's burning the pupils from my freshly opened eyes, I saw a blurry women standing in a strange office. I pushed my confusion aside, and said something clever and charming.
"That guy's a dick" I choked out, because apparently I had not spoken for awhile, and my throat was dry enough to spit cotton.
"He's very good at his job, and very ...irritating about rules and regulations." She frowned, recalling the earlier encounter.
"Really, he seems like the type of guy to make an expensive video game, and then charge for things that should be included." I speculated, still a bit light headed.
She didn't reply, but the look on her face told me my assumption was correct. I repeated,
"That guys a dick!"
As my head began to clear, I took in my unfamiliar surroundings. I woke up in the corner of what appeared to be an office, a very large luxurious office at that. My instincts were telling me something was off about it, but I hadn't realized this office was too big to be one from the 'pop-up tax place' yet.
"Wanna tell me why I'm waking up in this office?" I asked.
"To be honest, I imagined you to be somewhat angry and demanding, even hostile at first. Tell me... is you're calm demeanor the effect of analysis and adaptation, or are you not able to grasp the reality of your current situation?" She prodded.
"Well. The last thing I remember Is taking a clipboard from that 'sexy librarian' receptionist. Then what felt like a mosquito bite, although It was a cold morning and they're usually inactive in temperatures below 50 degrees, and there was a lavender plant in the lobby. Everyone knows lavender repels mosquitoes. If I had more than a few seconds to process that I may have tried for the door, but hind-sight's a bitch. So I guess I was knocked out, Question is why. If you wanted to kill me, it'd be done already. I didn't wake up restrained in anyway, So I assume that gun turret lookin' thing aint just a decoration." I gestured at the second thing I noticed upon waking up, after the pretty lady ofcourse.
On the ceiling, in the corner of the room was a shiny upside down dome the size of a medium mixing bowl. Protruding from a small opening were three motorized gun barrels, like a micro minigun. Above the barrels was a lens; most likely a camera.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
"And while I'm making assumptions, if I move from this spot, it will most likely cut me in half." I speculated.
"So since I have a question, and I'd like to live long enough to have it answered, I reiterate... wanna tell me why I'm waking up in this office?" I repeated the latter sentence, a little slower with a touch of impatience.
"Astute observer, pragmatic, slightly impatient." She spoke aloud to no one directly, as she jotted on a paper atop her desk.
I remained seated on the carpet, back against the wall. She only continued to write for a moment, then she redirected herself in the office chair to face me. The woman in front of me had her unconventionally long black hair tied, almost tightly back in a ponytail. It might of reached her hips if she were standing. Her face was attractive in minimal make-up and her skin was very pale, like she didn't receive much sunlight. Her hazel eyes curious and prodding, seemed to always be calculating and evaluating everything. She wore a large white lab coat, so comically stereotyped it could be a B-list movie prop, it even had the clear plastic pocket protector with various colored ink pens. Underneath was a fashionable thin sweater and form fitting slacks, her outfit and accessories were very tastefully coordinated. Her beauty betrayed her appearance, making her like a character in those movies, before they get the make-over, then marry the handsome millionaire at the end.
"I will tell you everything, that you need to know, about your situation... But first I would like to hear your theory on the reason you're here. I apologize for the obscurity, but now is the best time to evaluate your deductive reasoning and processing, while you are still assessing matters." She explained.
"Ok," I cracked my knuckles outstretching my folded hands as if to prepare for a sporting event, while looking around the room "I'll take a swing at it."
"Lets start simple, I was knocked out, and I appreciate that it wasn't by blunt trauma by the way, so that means whatever this is, it's a secret. Also judging by how loud your uh,.. security system can get. My money's on, that we are underground or some isolated location. I'm sure we've relocated, because this office is too big to be that little place I walked into originally." I put my hand on my chin, "Still the same goatee and my fingernails are still short so I wasn't unconscious long, or you've been grooming me. Kinda creepy, that last scenario, but I don't think that's the case."
At least I hope not, I thought to myself.
"If this is one of those secret warrant operation deals, you got the wrong brother. But your suspiciously cliche lab coat and the smell of solvents and chemicals says were in a scientific lab or the like. That tells me there's too much money in this operation for local cops, so something government sanctioned or wealthy private backing." I hypothesized, then took a minute to process before summarizing.
"So, final answer I am in a secret lab there is no point in trying to escape from, because its underground or in the middle of nowhere, and I'm to be experimented on. ...Well I'm going down swinging." I declared, my apathetic tone crescendoing into a booming shout as I prayed the gun turret camera didn't shoot me for raising my voice. The lady seated in front of me stared at me in shock, unable to process what was happening. Meanwhile, just as I had anticipated, someone came in to investigate the sudden shouting, and check on my interrogator. In the brief moment he stepped in the turret's line of fire, I sprang up behind him, grabbing his throat, and positioned him between me and the gun turret. I was using my hostage as a human shield in a desperate and impromptu plan with no end game.
"Hell if I'm gonna die anyway, I believe I'll rage against the dying of the light, mutha fuckers!"
My adrenaline fueled shout reverberated off the thin office walls. As me and my human shield slowly walked out of the office into what appeared to be a huge warehouse sized laboratory, but where I expected to see chemistry equipment and Bunsen burners, were servers and industrial machinery, and a staggering collection of futuristic looking technology. Power whirred to the gun turrets as they all simultaneously locked on to me and my meat shield. Startled voices and electrical equipment quickly became overpowered by the lady, who moments ago was having the calm discussion with me for 'scientific purposes.'
"This is unnecessary!" she pleaded, Her hands in the air, quickly she regained her soothing honeyed voice, "This is just a misunderstanding!"
"Your theory was close, but not entirely accurate." She continued, "This is a confidential location, Running a confidential and experimental technology. Which we're considering asking you to help us test."
"Well maybe you should lead with that!!" I exclaimed.
"Well, that's never gonna happen now, I knew you were trouble!" My shield choked through the grip on his airway.
My human shield sounds familiar, I thought.