"Lee! We have to go!" I yelled to no effect. My ward had finally gotten a chance to use his new wand and play Quafilliump for himself and he seemed hooked. My only saving grace so far had been that my nieces and nephews were willing to stop for meals and bedtime and Lee couldn't just play by himself. The runt knew exactly one spell of any use in the game but damn if he didn't use it well.

I hated to pull the kid away, but our flight wasn't soon but the longer I stuck around the more likely it was that I'd get pulled into an argument. Plus this was a southern family and we'd say good-bye inside then talk for another twenty minutes, then we'd grab our stuff and stand in front of the door talking for another fifteen minutes, then we'd move out to standing in front of the port-key for another fifteen minutes. That didn't count the six hugs, thirty well wishes, and two slobbery kisses on the cheek.

That was just the way it worked.

"Lee! We gotta get going!" I called out.

"Sepi! Ten more minutes!" A voice whined that was not Lee, but Annabelle.

"Are you even packed!?" I yelled back.

"We're two points up!" My assistant yelled back in lieu of answering my question.

I am her boss, right?

"Aw, you ain't gotta be worried about rushing off yet." Uncle Augustus said with a dismissive wave of his hand it went to pat at his breast pockets in search of a cigar. "Besides, Debi's unicookies are about to pop out of the oven."

"I know I just want to make sure that- wait, Aunt Debi is making unicookies?" I asked aloud.

"Course she is. You think my wife is going to let you leave this house without some sweets for that boy and your girlfriend?"

"Not my girlfriend." I corrected absently before sniffing at the air to catch a wiff of the cookies. It was faint, but I could catch the slightest hint of chocolate chip cookies that, moments later, switched to that of a snickerdoodle. I hoped this batch would occasionally shift into Oreos too; unicookies changed what type of cookie they were every few seconds, even while you were eating them but Oreo rarely came up. I once went down the rabbit hole of trying to figure out why they never changed into Oreos and the best I could guess is that Nabisco has somehow magically enforced copywrite onto all omnicookies baked.

But that'd be silly.

"She's not your girlfriend?" Uncle Augustus said disbelievingly as he placed his cigar in his mouth and began fishing for his lighter.

"No. Just like the last dozen times you've asked." I said with an eyeroll.

"Nah. You just live together, raise a child together, and do everything short of shit together." He said wryly as he lit up his cigar before taking a deep drag. He let out a deep breath of smoke that made question marks in the air as he asked, "Then what exactly would you call it?"

"Platonic life partners." I answered promptly. It wasn't like Anabelle and I hadn't talked about this before. "We're more than friends, but the relationship isn't ever really going to be romantic."

"Shame. I'd be proud if we got her in the Wickett family, girl is a peach."

I shot my uncle a wry smile. The man made hating him difficult sometimes. He was a good judge of character and could be quite the charmer when he wanted to be. I just couldn't stand half of his political beliefs.

"If she keeps playing with your grandkids and eating Debbi's cookies, you might could convince her to let you adopt her." I suggested.

"Really?" Aunt Debbi asked as she entered the room. Her wide frame covered with an apron with covered in stains and flour. Likely she'd let one of the kids help her cook. "Do you think she'd accept if we asked?"

I wince and clasp my hands together, pointer fingers still extended. "Family is a bit of a sore subject for Annabelle; I'm honestly not sure how she'd take it. Though I do know that if you wanted to make a run at adopting her, you'd have to compete with Principle Abernathy for it."

The two glanced at each other and came to a decision without delay.

"She's in good hands." Debi said quickly before ducking back into the kitchen.

"Don't you ever tell him we considered." Uncle Augustus ordered firmly, the smoke from his cigar changing to symbols of skulls and ravens.

I couldn't hold back the laugh that escaped me. A deep belly laugh that I probably wouldn't be able to do at Hogwarts. I'd be expected to be "ladylike" there. I leaned into the laugh, relishing the moment.

"It ain't funny! The man walked into a Blood Foot base by himself and not only beat every single dark witch and wizard there, but brought down the whole damn building, wards and all. The only reason he's not the most bloodied wizard in America is cause the man can hardly be pulled away from the garden his school is built around." Uncle Augustus growled angrily.

"Yeah. Okay." I said dismissively. Intellectually, he was right, but it was hard to think of a man as scary after you've watched him dance half naked around a sunrise rose while crying tears of joy. Abernathy was powerful, not violent. There was a difference.

"Alright guys! The cookies are ready!" Debi yelled, though Annabelle, Lee, five other children and myself were all in the kitchen before she finished saying "ready."

There was a bit of frantic grabbing and a brief tussle over the last of the milk, but everyone was happily munching away at their sweets in short order. Though I spoke up as a peanut butter cookie turned into a molasses cookie in my mouth. "You two. No going back outside. Pack." Small crumbs flew from my mouth as I pointed an accusing finger.

There was a collection of groans from around the table. My cousin's spawn apparently quite taken with my tagalongs, though the oldest of them, Titus, gave a fist pump. I shot him a raised eyebrow.

"She keeps going after me because I'm the oldest and the closest to a fair match." He said while poking a thumb at Annabelle.

"And?" I teased.

"And it's still really not fair." Titus stated without shame; which was fair, Annabelle had literally won world dueling tournaments.

"You got promise Titus. Just keep at it and next time I come you might just take me down." Annabelle stated happily.

"Really?" He asked, looking up.

It took a lot of effort on my part to not shake my head "no" at him. Catching up with a world champ wasn't exactly a quick prospect. Still, it was good to have something to work towards.

"Sure! If you work hard and practice, you can do anything you set your mind to." Annabelle stated firmly. That was who she was, she believed in people and I just tried to not undercut her sentiments.

We balanced each other like that.

xxxxxx

The cookies turned into a brief lunch of sandwiches, which turned into an argument about the hunting of the endangered Appalachian Ridgewart, which turned into a frantic round of packing before we bustled out to the Port Key outside. A fifth round of hugs and goodbyes were given and I went to do a last minute checklist.

"Alright, I think we have everything." I announced as I did a last system check.

"Wait!" Aunt Debi called, rushing back waiving a plastic container. "You forgot your cookies." She handed the container over with a smile. "I also packed you a vial of Stuffing Stuffer, I know how much you like mine."

"You're too good for this world Aunt Debi." I said solemnly before packing it way in my bag.

"Oh. One more thing dear. Augustus told me that you were having some trouble with those old stuff shirts from back home. I got you something to help keep you safe." Aunt Debi said with all the honey of June Cleaver. Then the woman pulled out a fucking Desert Eagle and held it out to me grip first.

"Debi!" Annabelle gasped. "We are going on a plane and then going to be living in a school!"

"Oh. So you just want to be bringing your own then." Debi said with a nod.

"No! We aren't brining any guns with us!" Annabelle shouted.

The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

"Really? Are you sure?" Debi asked, turning to me with eyes sharp and telling me quite clearly what she thought the answer should be. Though there was no world in which I'd grab the gun from her, Annabelle would kill me.

"Aunt Debi, don't you think it would be a bit irresponsible for me to bring a firearm to a school full of children that know nothing about firearms?" I asked.

A tense moment passed and Aunt Debi shoved the gun back into...wherever it was she got the thing from.

"Fine. You girls stay safe and write often. Lee, make sure to study hard and learn all you can." The woman continued as if she hadn't just suggested we commit several felonies.

Uncle Augustus' wife was not to be fucked with.

After that time was mostly a blur. Port Key travel, a frantic run to our gate at the airport, and then almost a solid twenty-four hours spent in an airplane before finally we landed in the one first world country I hadn't stepped into. After decades avoiding it, I was in Great Britain.

"So what's first? Are we going to Diagon Alley first? I hear it's the major hub in Great Britain's magical community. Or maybe we go see Big Ben and some other non-magical tourist stuff?" Lee asked with his nose in some travel brochure.

I wasn't even sure where the kid got it.

"I think going to the school as soon as possible is the best idea. We might come back to take in the sights before school starts though. Maybe even see if we can sneak you out here on some weekends." I promised as I shuffled with my luggage, being mindful to not jostle the thing overmuch. I was likely being overcautious; the damn thing had enough enchantments on it that it'd probably keep it's contents safe through a direct missile strike.

At the same time, if the contents in the damn thing spilled out it'd probably kill dozens of people at least. A lot of the ingredients I brought with me weren't safe to mix together.

"Aw, come on! We just spent forever on the airplane! Can't we go look around a little?" Lee asked, batting his eyes.

Ordinarily, such a tactic would be tempting, but jetlag was kicking my ass and I wanted nothing more than to sleep for the next ten hours. "No."

Lee sagged in defeat.

"Well Sepi, what's the plan?" Annabelle asked.

"We're supposed to head to the Leaky Cauldron and meet up with a guide that is meant to take us to the school. Great Britain has something called the Floo Network that's meant to take us to the school."

"Then that means we can ride on one of those fancy red busses to get there?" Annabelle asked innocently.

"You mean one of those fancy red busses that tend to swing by tourist spots?" I asked wryly.

"Oh, do they?" Annabelle asked.

I was not fooled.

"Fine. We'll take the tourist busses, but I don't want to hear any complaints from either of you when we have to get off, and you're going to carry him when the jetlag catches up to him." I said pointing an accusing finger at my employee.

"Sure, but that means you're pulling all the luggage." Annabelle reminded.

I stopped in place.

"You're getting the luggage and I'll carry Lee." I stated firmly.

"Hey, I'm twelve." Lee interrupted, clearly offended. "I can walk on my own. It's not going to be an issue."

"Mhm." Annabelle and I hummed in unison.

"I am! You can bet on it! I'll be awake the entire-"

xxxxxx

Three hours later we walked into the Leaky Cauldron. Annabelle pulling the luggage as I grunted under the weight of hauling Lee around. I wasn't so sure I made the right deal about who got what and I was also beginning to suspect Lee might actually be made of lead. The kid's weight could not be natural.

The Leaky Cauldron would ordinarily not be an easy place to find, but as someone who worked with enchantments and wards quite often the bar almost shown like a spotlight to me. The place was old and active. The wards on the place had dozens of layers on it with various styles as different people all worked on the thing through the years. Rather than take the whole ward down, they would just add a new layer on tweaking what was under it.

It rather reminded me of what a few tech savvy friends referred to as "spaghetti code" and as I stood in the door studying it I couldn't decide if I was horrified or awed by the thing. It was fascinating enough that I could almost ignore the fact I was stepping into one of the most iconic locations of the Harry Potter books.

"Excuse me Miss." A deep accented voice called, and the moment shattered as I turned to see who spoke and looked up. And up. And up. Finally laying eyes on the wild bushy hair surrounding the smiling face of a half-giant man. "Yeh wouldn't happen to be Septima Wickett would yeh?"

"I am." I said, putting on my best smile, trying to shove down the nervousness that suddenly rose in me. It suddenly hit me that I wasn't just in another country in yet another magical bar. This was the place I'd read about often in my last life. The place I'd fantasized about going. The place I'd spent most of this life being afraid of. The place where the friendly giant Hagrid was...but also the place the Death Eaters were. It was complex feelings, but Hagrid didn't need to be the one to see them, so I squashed them and held out my hand in greeting. "You must be Rubeus Hagrid."

"That I am Miss Wickett." Hagrid said, taking my offered hand. "Though I suppose I should be callin' you Professor Wickett."

"Please, if there aren't any students around, call me Sepi." I said as I suppressed a wince at the half-giant's firm handshake.

"I don't know if I can be doin' that at Hogwarts. Lots of students sneakin' around and poppin' out when ye least expect it." Hagrid said good naturedly. The massive man doing a wonderful job of managing to seem incredibly harmless.

As someone who had fought angry giants before, his ability to put others at ease despite his height was impressive.

"Yeah, kids are good at that." I admitted. Lee did tend to pop up right when I was saying or doing something I wouldn't want him to hear me say or do.

"So, this'll be Lee then?" Hagrid asked peering at the sleeping child in my arms before turning to my assistant and hold out his hand. "And you must be Miss Annabelle Turner."

"I am, yes. Pleased to meet you too." Annabelle responded as she shook his hand.

"Pleasure's all mine, Miss. Now, you lot have spent the whole day travelin' and I imagine you're lookin' to have a nice sit down. Why don't I take your baggage, and we can get you settled in at Hogwarts?"

With that, the half-giant took us to the fireplace where we had to rouse Lee from his sleep so that he could stumble through the Floo after Annabelle went through. In moments we all were escorted from the fireplace of an office and then out into Hogwarts itself. All the while Hagrid led the way and talked.

"We don't get many American Wizards out this way, much less in Hogwarts itself. Great place, Hogwarts, after you all are settled, I'd be happy to show you around." Hagrid said happily as Lee stared at the half-giant with his mouth half open. I wasn't sure if that was because it was the first time he'd seen someone so tall, or if it was because he'd just woken up. Lee didn't take waking up well.

Annabelle meanwhile seemed to have found a kindred spirit in the giant.

"Oh! That'd be great! I'm sure the school has a lot of history and secrets that we wouldn't find by ourselves." Annabelle stated happily.

"Well, I am Keeper of Keys and Grounds of the school. I reckon I know a thing or two."

"Oh I'm sure. Sepi and I have found in our travels that the Groundskeeper of any place usually has a better idea of what's going on than most anyone else at the school."

"Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm sure I can make sure you can always get to where yer goin."

"Well I look forward to seeing the gardens here. All the schools I went to were too warm to-"

Back and forth the two went as Annabelle fulfilled the major reason I had initially hired her. She was really good with people. I've seen the woman charm the most ornery of old men and appease the most prickly of assholes. She always managed to come across as knowledgeable and genuine without seeming overbearing.

I think it was the accent.

Still, more than her combat and potions abilities, I paid her to deal with people. I didn't do so great with people. I could learn to adapt and interact well with an individual and could even fake it for a crowd. I just didn't like to.

So, on and on the two chatterboxes went as we walked the halls of the school. At one point stopping at a stairwell as we waited for it to change positions before continuing. I tuned out their talking and just absorbed the location. Suits of armor, intricate tapestries, and living paintings were everywhere. Wizarding history was on display everywhere. The kind of history that Smokey Woods and Ambrose Academy just couldn't have on the simple basis they weren't old enough.

Most of all though, there was Magic. The capital letters well deserved. You could feel the charge of magic in the air, eager, mischievous, and astonishingly purposeful. Places that had a potent concentration of magic weren't exactly rare, but they tended to be wild or old and stubborn. Here it was eager to help, but also had a task. I wasn't sure if it was because of the enchantments on school or something more natural.

This was likely already researched, but I'd be interested in-

"Ah. Professor Severus, sir." My head snapped up and beheld the form of Severus Snape. He was shorter than I expected, being roughly average height for a man. Though I suppose all the descriptions I knew were from the perspective of a teenager that hadn't finished growing. The rest of the physical characteristics were spot on; a large hooked nose, willowy thin frame, pale skin and greasy hair. Though I did recognize something Harry Potter never did. The reason Snape's hair was greasy. I knew the look instantly. A concoction used to keep all hair and dandruff attached to the head that was necessary for all high level brewing. I'd always called it liquid hairnet.

Most people washed it out after they were done brewing but Snape seemed content to just leave the stuff in.

"Just showin' tha new professor to her-"

Snape had turned as well and the man's eyes widened and there was even a ghost of a smile on his face as he locked eyes not with me, but with my assistant.

"Miss Turner." The man said in surprise.

"Snape? Hi! It's been a while." Annabelle chirped happily. My head snapped over to her to ask why she was chatting with familiarity with the biggest asshole in the building. Which said a lot considering Voldemort was also somewhere in the building...in a manner of speaking.

"Yes. Championship of '89 I believe. A shame. I had hoped to rectify my defeat last year." Snape stated with something approaching a teasing tone.

What the fuck?

"Sorry, Sepi and I were in the Pacific Principality and things got out of hand, so I couldn't get away in time." Annabelle continued.

No, seriously. What the fuck? Did my assistant become friends with Severus fucking Snape somewhere without me realizing it? Was Snape just shitty to kids?

"A shame. Though if you are set to be the teacher here, I trust we can avoid the stupidity of the average new hire."

"Oh, I'm not the new hire. That's Sepi here." Annabelle said as she hitched a thumb over towards me. Severus finally seemed to realize that there was, in fact, other people there as his eyes turned towards me. The man had excellent control of his expression but the fact that he blinked four times in less than a second told me that something about me perplexed him. "I'm just here to be Sepi's assistant."

"You're an assistant?" Snape asked with affront and his lip curled as he stared me down. "And who, pray tell, are you?"

"Septima Wickett. The Runes Professor for this year." I answered with a smile that was kind and pleasant and not at all a snarling honey badger.

"I've never heard of you." The man continued and proved that it was, in fact, not just children that he was an asshole to.

"Okay." I responded simply before letting things lap to silence. I didn't need to justify myself to this man.

The sneer on the potion professor's face grew more severe and I debated going ahead and already laying in on him about his shitty attitude before the very large form of Hagrid stepped between us.

"You'll need to excuse us Professor. This lot just came in. Spent all day traveling, they did. I'm just off to show them to their room. If you'll excuse us." Hagrid said as he gently began to move Lee, who now seemed very much awake.

I continued after politely and with grace. Annabelle only had to stop me from flipping the bird at Snape's back once.

xxxxxxx