Novels2Search
Beneath Within
Chapter Thirteen - Nadira - "It's nice to feel wanted"

Chapter Thirteen - Nadira - "It's nice to feel wanted"

Nadira spent much of the evening reading through the letters with Arturri. They couldn’t track the empty packets yet. The letters addressed to Arturri’s old master, Sir Vonrio, generally had to do with his business. A few things stood out. Many of them were the same hand, from the supplier of the ore. Others from customers making special orders. Nadira even came across a couple from Warren inquiring on Arturri’s progress. Nadira was lucky enough to come across the letters. The letters confirmed, to her at least, that Warren did care whether Arturri was doing well. Although she could just as easily have been writing expecting him to fail.

Either way, after hours of reading the pages again and again, they didn’t find either threat or warning. The man’s murder seemed to come completely out of nowhere.

The light across the underground blackened for the night. Sadie eventually returned from her dinner with her Family-to-be. She seemed exhausted from it. Arturri had, by that point, been forcing himself to stay awake. Nadira had found herself closing her eyes for long pauses and losing track of time.

They had small candles in the room, but the flickering only served to lull Nadira further to sleep.

She dreamed of Sonrio.

She had never been in his office herself, but her imagination filled in the gaps. It was a long room, a marble floor, with books along one wall. Pedestals with his own personal works were on display. Several polished silver serpents coiled carefully around crafted nests. Perfect silver eggs exposed in the middle. The attention to detail was remarkable. It almost seemed like the snakes were coiling tighter the longer she watched. Somewhere in the room, a faucet was not tightened. The room was silent aside from the scratching on the paper and the dripping of the sink.

There were no windows or balconies in the room. The walls not shelved had a few of his personal favourite ancestors in portraits. Nadira couldn’t make out any faces on the images, but there were certainly bodies, posed as she saw them on the walls. Nadira didn’t know how she knew they were his favourites, but she did.

A few plush chairs dotted about for his guests to chat with him. She went and took a seat. After all, she felt she was a guest here. A large roll-top desk was against a wall, and Sonrio sat at the desk, writing something on a piece of paper. He seemed frustrated, scratching out phrases over and over again.

Nadira watched for a minute. He wouldn’t be joining her on the chairs anytime soon, so she walked to him to inquire what he was doing. She looked over his shoulder, curious as to what she’d find on the paper. The desk was covered in blood, sopped up by the papers and spilling onto the floor in splattering drops. She started back.

“That boy, that boy,” he muttered to himself. “He’s always causing trouble, that damn insolent fool…”

“Arturri?” She guessed, speaking as though outside herself. All she could feel was a sense of vertigo.

He turned to her as she had said the name. “Don’t-“ Sonrio hissed. “Don’t speak to me of him.” His face she had never seen before. But it was vivid in her dream. His wide pock-marked nose, grey hair and grizzled eyebrows. His thin lips set in a near constant frown.

“But he didn’t kill you,” she told him.

He looked confused at the statement. “No no… don’t speak of him... He’s an embarrassment. He won’t run it properly. He’s not ready. He is not ready for the responsibility…” He scratched more blood into the paper, over and over again. It was important to him, but the shapes were just moving blood around. Nothing could be read. “And that damn girl is his distraction. No, it just won’t do. It won’t do at all.”

“…Do you have any idea what happened? Try to think. You can help us,” Nadira asked, as kindly as she could. She had never spoken with a ghost before, but it could be a vital opportunity. She knew that they were not the same, not exactly. They were shadows, fragments, memories. The soul without the mind.

“What happened? My dear… I was always an artist, you know. Have you seen my sculptures? Months, months on them… I gave them my life. It was not me they killed you know.”

Nadira didn’t know how to break it to him, so instead went around it. “Who did they kill then, Sonrio?”

“That poor idiot boy, of course… He came to see me today, you know. I will never die, now. I know that. But he? They killed his soul… How cruel… How unjust…” He looked over to the portraits. The far wall indeed was about twice as close as it had been when she last looked at it. “They’re coming for me. But I must finish this letter, if they can just wait another minute, I’ll be right there. I hope they’ll talk about my sculptures.”

The portraits opened their arms to him, still, waiting. “Isn’t it nice?” Sonrio said, looking Nadira in the eyes, “It’s nice to feel wanted.” The dripping was so loud now. She looked down at the floor at the blood that reached her shoes. She could feel it through to her toes. The portraits were almost at her shoulder. She wanted to scream or run, but the blood kept her rooted in place.

The dawn bell came. It sounded so distant, having to travel through the tunnel to reach them, but it served its purpose. The sound jolted her upright from the desk in a cold sweat.

The guest room they were in was much the same. Sadie had come in late the night before after the dinner and had stripped and collapsed on the double bed. Her shoes, bodice and tights had been discarded along the floor in a trail behind her. If they had been real servants, she had complained, they would have helped her. Nadira had made a paltry attempt but she had been too tired to be of that much use.

Arturri was still slumped on the desk. Today was the wedding day. They had run out of time. Nadira shook him, but he was slow to wake and his skin felt cold. With all the death in her dreams, Nadira felt her fears come into the waking world as well. Him over the desk like that brought back frightening memories.

He lifted his head and the dread lifted itself from her heart. “Thank the crown,” she said letting out a breath. “I’m afraid it’s morning.”

He was quiet. “Well, then… I guess we’ve failed.”

Nadira wanted to say something more hopeful to him, but wasn’t sure what she could say. He turned from her and pulled himself from his chair. He went over to the bed and crawled over to Sadie and laid beside her.

They were quiet with one another. Nadira tried not to eavesdrop but she couldn’t help it. She stared instead at the desk and letters she’d read all night.

“I won’t be able to wake with you again,” Arturri told her.

“You don’t know that,” Sadie whispered back.

He didn’t answer that, but he pulled her close. “I wish it was me.”

“Oh… Then, I take it you didn’t figure it out, yet,” she replied, her soft words lowered in disappointment.

“What makes you say that?” he wondered.

“You aren’t telling me to hold it off, or run away with you.”

He paused, “I wish-“

She hushed him. “No more wishing. We’ll make the lives we want. We’ll make them, ourselves. Nothing will change us. I will see you again, do you hear me?” They shared a kiss and a long moment of quiet lying beside one another.

Nadira had occupied herself folding up the letters and packing them away. Soon, they realized the time that was left, and Sadie started to prepare for her wedding. Arturri put his evidence into his inner coat pocket. Nadira helped Sadie to prepare with makeup and the dress.

“It was nice to meet you, Nadira. I wish it had been under better circumstances!” Sadie told her.

Nadira laughed, as if to make light of it all. “You too. I, uh, really like your hair.” She had tried to get her makeup to be a consistent colour so as to make the colours in her hair pop in contrast.

“Thanks! I like yours too,” she said, knowing full well that Nadira’s black hair was an illusion of her own making.

Nadira still knew it was well intentioned. “Thank you. Really. You’ve given me freedom, you know.”

“I hope you find whatever you’re looking for out here, Naddie - can I call you Naddie?”

“Yeah, sure! And you too, you know. I do hope you are happy, Sadie. Or at least that you find your happiness.” She did the finishing touches of her face. It was amateur work, Nadira knew, but she had tried her best. Sadie didn’t seem to notice, and gave it sincere compliments.

“Well, looks like you’re ready to go,” Nadira said. It was sad to know that they would be escorted away at the end of the wedding. They would be leaving the Dar Yi Home now to go to the Church of Royals. The main ceremony would be held in front of the Royal statues. After that, they would head to the Crypts up the tower and Sadie would make her pact to the Dar Yi.

“I hope we can slip away before the ceremony. It’s not safe to go back to the Church, surely?” she said to Arturri as they started to follow behind Sadie. They exited the room and entered the hallway.

Arturri didn’t get a chance to answer. The hallways that were so quiet the day before bustled with activity. Immediately, Dar Yi were showering attention on them and Sadie. The Dar Yi made sure to usher them immediately towards the carriage prepared for the bride. It seems they were running a little late.

Before they could even consider slipping away, they were placed across from Sadie in the carriage. They had dressed in fine purple robes prepared for the occasions. Sadie pulled up her strapless dress where it met her underarm. It was only past dawn and yet there was already so much life in the farms around the Dar Yi.

Nadira had never been in a carriage and yelped when it started moving on its own. They zipped through the underground, heading directly for the Church of Royals.

“This isn’t good,” Nadira said. Every fibre of her being didn’t want to go back. She’d only been gone for just over a day, this wasn’t the adventure she wanted.

“Well,” Sadie said, “You are disguised now. It’s possible that you will be alright. Besides, my attendants are expected there, what if they notice you’re gone?”

Arturri shifted in his seat. The market was a stream of colours blurring below them. “I could handle it. To be near you for a little longer,” he said to Sadie.

Nadira couldn’t really argue with all that, and she wouldn’t be so cruel to demand he leave her, but she still felt nervous. “It’s dangerous.” She pointed out. But then, she remembered, that’s what she wanted, wasn’t it? She sighed, “Alright. We’ll stay for the wedding, and then slip off.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Arturri said. Sadie smiled.

The carriage stopped on the ledge of the path up to the Church of Royals. From this path that led through the market, the Church really was impressive. It was like the Dar Yi Home in connecting to the ceiling, but it ran all the way to the floor as well as a massive pillar. Smaller towers ran in parallel and connected to it. The main decorated shaft and part of the walkway to it was all arches and geometry. The Dar Yi had cast silver lights about the walkway that day to mark the addition of a new member to their ranks.

There were many people already present who saw Sadie and made way. Nadira and Arturri were now seen as honoured guests and as her servants no longer. They were directed towards seats near the front. Music was playing from the balconies to fill the space. The musicians played stringed instruments and beat drums in a rhythmic accompaniment. The smell of the algae from the pool was intensified with the smell of the bodies of a full Church. Incense flowed out from a pot on the altar, and the occasional whiff of it kept her from feeling ill.

The statues of the King and Queen stood towering before her. She couldn’t see their faces, but she felt judged. Some part of her wanted to whisper an apology for leaving, but she couldn’t lie to them, either. She wasn’t really sorry. But what was she even thinking? They were dead. Not only dead, but truly gone. What did their memory even mean now?

Nadira remembered washing the pew she sat on only a few days ago. It already had lost the fresh glean. She rubbed at a spot with the edge of her sleeve passively. Old habits, and all.

The sound of Leliana’s voice broke through any homesickness she had started to foster like the crack of an egg. “My good people,” Leliana began. They grew to a hush.

Sadie was in a seat at the foot of the altar. A man took his seat next to her. He looked familiar, Nadira thought. After a moment of staring, it clicked. This was the man who had telekinetically moved her the day before at Sonrio’s office door. Nadira glanced at Arturri, but his jaw was clenched and he did not look back.

Leliana continued, “We are gathered here today to celebrate a joining, and a marriage. We are here to witness Sadie, leaving the Sot, to join Riggin and the Dar Yi. Riggin and Sadie will form a unit. Their line will increase the prosperity of the Dar Yi - as well as the understanding between Dar Yi and Sot. A marriage is about peace, and hope. It is about love. It is for the good of all, and a unit brings so many joys. And it is also about sacrifice. We must not forget how hard it is to leave one’s Family behind.”

She paused and looked out at them all, her veil covering her features. Nadira knew that she searched to see if anyone was paying attention. She had seen her do that across the room at her, as well. Nadira hoped that she wouldn’t recognize her sitting there. Leliana continued her sermon. “We must remind ourselves now of the origin of Family - of it’s purpose for us all, as ordained by the returning of the Royals. It has always been about sacrifice. When the Royals left the world, they had taken magic with them. It was only from the Orphan prince’s will…”

‘Here she goes’, Nadira thought to herself.

“…That humanity, for the first time, cheated death. Then, the pact was first formed. From the dominant clans, a bond was born. The forefathers of each Family sacrificed themselves to give power to those they left behind. The Crypts were made sacred. No longer was death something for humans to fear! It became a gift to one another. When we lose our bodies, we share our souls amongst our friends. Our Family. That is what Family means. It is a giving of oneself to the whole, through all of time.”

Leliana looked down from before the altar to where Sadie was sitting. “Sadie. Your giving up of your Family of birth can ensure the prosperity of another. The coming spring can only exist from the winter of a separation.” These were ancient words that meant almost nothing now, but they heard them at every wedding. They were powerful legends. “Do you willingly give up the Sot? Will you renounce them and their ways?”

Sadie looked tense. She closed her eyes and carried on. “I will.”

“Do you take Riggin to be your husband?”

“I do,” she said. Beside Nadira, Arturri’s shoulders sagged down.

“Riggin,” Leliana addressed him next. “Will you treat Sadie not as a stranger, but as Family? Do you promise to welcome her always? Will you take her to be your wife?”

“I will,” he said.

Leliana stepped down to Sadie and lifted her from her seat with both hands in hers. She led her to the pool below the feet of the statues. Sadie lowered herself with Leliana’s help into the pool. Her silver dress soaked up the water. Sadie must have trained for this, because she knew what she was there to do.

“We witness Sadie’s renouncement of Sot pact!” Leliana cried to the crowd. They were quiet, on the edge of their seat with anticipation. They knew what this was. Some had experienced it, while others feared it.

A cool wind blew through the Church. The music above started playing again, with growing intensity. Leliana started to chant ancient words.

But it was Sadie who did the hard part. Sitting in that water, she started listing as many names of the ancestral Sot that she could think of. They poured from her like a chorus. A lifetime of memorization, and connection, punctuated by cries of ‘begone from me’. She grew louder and louder.

Within minutes, Sadie began to become emotional before all these people. Everyone’s eyes were transfixed on her. Her cries became more desperate, each name choked between sobs. Leliana instructed her to drink from the pool when it became too much. Nadira couldn’t imagine how must it feel, having that which made Sadie powerful and complete her whole life stripped in a public spectacle. Sadie drank from the water and got sick in the water, but her stomach was empty. Her tears dripped down and mixed with the soaking of her dress.

Eventually, the music came to a stop as the words of chanting from Leliana ceased. Sadie sat in the water shaking. She had grown silent.

Leliana had a towel ready, and instructed Riggin to help her to pull Sadie from the pool. She looked physically weaker, shaking beneath the towel. Her dress looked heavy with water. It mopped the floor as she took a step.

“This is a beautiful sacrifice!” Leliana said to them. “She has been made empty, ready to receive the Dar Yi. Thank you for attending this part of the ceremony. The couple must now pilgrimage to the Crypt. Riggin helps his unit with love to join his Family. I invite you to walk with us and witness this love.”

New music played from the rafters. Nadira looked up at them and saw Daress looking down at the event, her careful hand resting on a pillar. She looked away before she saw her. Guilt built up in her gut as she thought of how she never said goodbye in person. She couldn’t risk her seeing her now. She had said as much as she could in her note.

The people started to stand. This was their chance now to slip away. As they turned out of the pew, Arturri and her navigated a sea of silver suits. Confetti was released. Joyous soft music played in contrast with the event they witnessed. It was in anticipation of what would come. People started to talk to one another and the Church filled with excited voices.

Nadira tried not to get separated from Arturri in the crowds. They reached the main gates of the Church. Things started to open out again. Most of the guests were following the couple up to a separate tower which led to the Crypts.

Everything shined silver, except for a red cape standing by the gates. He had long light brown hair in waves down to his elbows, with ivory skin with many scars on his clean-shaven face. His blue eyes gave them a warm look. He looked straight at them - through them.

She froze, and grabbed Arturri’s arm. “Look. They’re here. We need to go.” But Arturri didn’t move.

He seemed out of it. She looked up to him confused. He was in a daze. The Bheorse must be in his head. The thought of Arturri leaving her alone in the market was a frightening one. He needed to prove his innocence after all. Nadira didn’t know where to go on her own. “Arturri, fight it!” she hissed, desperately.

He blinked at her words, “I-…” he reached into his inner pocket and had the packets from Sonrio’s desk. He couldn’t speak but he held these packets loose in his hand. His eyes struggled to look away from the man in red and glance at Nadira.

She felt like he offered it to her. She took the packet from his hand. He started to walk towards the man. Nadira dragged at his arm but he was stronger than her. Her heart beat hard. She wasn't sure what to do, and her eyes searched the chaos around her.

“You must be Nadira, aren’t you? Interesting charm in your hair, where did you get that?”

The voice in her mind was not her own. It felt warm and embracing, but she knew that it only wanted to capture her. Confetti released from above them as the couple went up the walk to the Crypt. The voices of chatting Dar Yi guests did nothing to dim the sound of him in her mind. But he couldn’t control her like he could Arturri. It must be the charm Kro had given her.

There was nothing she could do for Arturri now. She tightened her grip on the packets in her hand and bolted through a crowd towards the Market. Once she’d made some distance, she hazarded turning to look back through the crowds. The man and Arturri were walking back into the emptying Church together.

The man had not attempted a chase. Arturri stood beside him now. “That’s okay,” the voice in her head said softly, “I'll come for you soon.”