A few days after that terrifying experience, As I lay in my pile of furs beside Mother, she gave off a completely different impression than the ice cold murderer I saw the other day. Now she was scratching and rubbing my belly while saying unfamiliar words in an endearing tone. I couldn't help making giggling sounds and laughing, Not because I found it funny, but rather because I was ticklish and the joy in her face as I giggled was unmistakable. The pride of a mother was unmistakable, some things must transcend species everywhere.

The thought that the woman that is making baby noises towards me is the same woman that mercilessly cut someone's throat and could rip the heart out of a man and just go on with her day, like nothing had happened. There are clearly some extreme cultural differences here. I know that we are talking of a different species here, but as a sentient humanoid species that verbally communicate between each other should have some reservation about murdering and eating other sentient species.

It had only been a few days, but I couldn't get the face of the dead elf out of my head. How his eyes lost their light, as we were staring into each other's eyes. The memory of that night has haunted me ever since. It didn't help how everyone had swarmed his corpse to eat him afterwards, and the sound of his body being torn to pieces is still fresh in my mind.

I do feel guilty about the entire thing. I know I didn't kill him or wanted him dead, but it was clear that they killed him for some sort of repulsive naming ritual they held for me. And just to make matters worse, I had to fucking like the taste of his heart. How messed up is that ?

The mere thought of tasting blood and raw heart should disgust me, but the reality of it is that I actually enjoyed the taste. And when I think of it, instead of being disgusted, my mouth waters. Does that mean that I will grow up to be some cold hearted killer that goes around murdering and eating people ? I'm only a baby, and I already fear what I will grow up to become.

I hope I can contain my own personality through all this. If I stay true to myself it shouldn't matter too much what kind of body I have. I might not be thrilled about being born a beast person, but that part could have been worse, I could have been born as a fish or an insect.

Being born as a completely unknown race wasn't ideal, But being born female sure sucked. There are a whole lot of things I really don't wanna deal with there, I know there is a 50% chance either way, But I definitely feel like a guy still, At the very least I am one in my head.

I have no idea how things work here. What if arranged marriages are a thing here ?

Will they hand me over to some old nasty guy that just wants to use me for his own dirty needs ? No matter what, I will never accept that, I would rather die fighting than let some guy climb on top of me.

The intensity of Mother’s caresses intensified, snapping me out of my depressing thoughts. She clearly noticed that something wasn't quite right.

Not wanting to be more suspicious than necessary, I went back to giggling, feeling like an idiot for acting my part as an infant.

Mother seemed intent on spending time with me today, So she moved one of her tails and held it just above me. Acting my part, I swiped after it with my paw, and Mother pulled it quickly upwards so I barely missed it. She kept this play session going, adding more of her tails, making the game feel like an air version of whack a mole, Whack a tail seems more fitting.

Occasionally she let me swipe my claw on her tail, Thrilled to see me hunt her tails.

Wanting to give Mother a good impression, I started to hold off swipes, in the hope that she would be more daring, and lower her tails a bit more.

It didn't take long until she took my bait, and I lunged upwards with both paws, and as soon as I got my paws on it I put it in my mouth and bit down on it to keep it in place.

Mother let out a low yelp, more out of surprise than actual pain. As I held onto Mothers tail with my teeth and both paws, she lifted her tail with me still hanging on. I might not weigh much in this small new body, but it took quite an effort to hold on.

As I struggled Mother just started chuckling and waved her tail to shake me off, and her smile widened the longer I managed to hold on. It was a struggle to keep hold of the tail and my grip slipped bit by bit until I eventually fell down. She said a few words I guessed was approval of some kind, and she repeated her actions until I was so exhausted that I couldn't play her game any longer and lied down to sleep and rest.

We kept doing the whack a tail game for almost everyday, and I felt myself getting stronger at an alarming rate. I could somewhat stand up on my wobbling legs and even do a miniature jump, my jaw also was stronger, being able to hold on to Mother’s tail for much longer.

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Life as a baby is incredibly dull. As I grow I spend less and less time sleeping, but being awake isn't that exciting when you are confined to crawl around in a tent or play baby games with Mother. On a positive note, I'm starting to recognize more and more words of the strange language they use. I have tried to repeat some words so far but it always ends in failure. Using my tongue and mouth feels different then what I remember, so I guess I need some practice before the right sounds come out as I want them too.

One day when mother entered our tent while hiding something in her paw, I sat on the dirt floor, curious. Instead of walking away from me to hide whatever she had hidden, she slowly sat down beside me, Rubbed me affectionately around my ears before holding her paw out to me. In her paw she had a living small animal of sorts. At first I thought it was a massive rat, but with further inspection this animal had a bigger head, and a lot longer legs than any rat would have. It also had two large incisors in its upper and lower jaw, and with those long legs it could most likely both climb and sprint.

Fascinated over the animal I had never seen before, I noticed how Mother was holding it. Her thumb and index finger made a circle around its neck, and her ring finger held the creature's hind legs backwards. The thing was completely helpless in her grasp.

She held the thing out to me, for me to touch it and I complied. After touching it a few times she put it down on the ground, and placed my paw on top of it and made sure I applied pressure downward to keep it in place.

While holding it down I heard Mother say the word I thought meant Kill. Confused, I looked up at Mother, not sure if I understood the word right. As I looked up at Mother, I felt a sudden sharp pain from my paw. Out of habit I screamed out, Ouch, Fucking holy damn shit !

I have no idea how I managed to use those words in practice, Or how she heard them. I was too absorbed in holding my hurt paw. As I realized what I had done, I started crying as a baby would. I had to keep up my baby act after all.

As I cried Mother embraced me and started licking my paw, gradually I ceased my crying act, made easier since it actually still hurt like hell. I got another ear rub before Mother showed me the rat-like thing that she had recaptured without me realizing.

Seeing the thing again flooded me with anger, and I wanted nothing more than to stomp on the damn thing. Instead of stomping on it, mother took its front leg between her fingers and crushed it.

The animal let out a screech of agony and I paled from the horror filled sound. Mother kept it up, and crushed the remaining three legs. I might be a bit angry at the little critter, but this was taking it too far for my liking. I wanted to call out that she hurt it, that it was animal cruelty, morally wrong and so on but I don't think morals and laws from my old world would take hold here, either way I didn't have the vocabulary to even try to say anything close to what I wanted to say.

Mother proceeded and put the broken animal in front of me again. As I looked at it, I saw its legs

were bent in the wrong direction and the bone had punctured its skin several places.

It lay there helpless and wailing in agony. I pitied the poor thing, even if it had bitten me.

I couldn't get why Mother would do such a cruel thing towards a little innocent animal.

Kill. I heard Mother say in a firm tone this time. I had not heard her wrong after all.

Oh shit. Did she actually maim that animal, only because she wanted me to kill it ? So I'm the reason it is suffering so much ?

I don't want to kill it, I don't want to kill living beings at all. Sure I have killed my fair share of flies and other bugs, but this is different. It is much bigger, and it even bleeds.

Kill. Mother's voice was almost vibrating the entire tent, making it feel like a direct order.

It felt so wrong, but at this stage it would be more humane to kill it quickly, the longer I take the longer it would suffer.

I gathered my courage, and pointed my sharp claw down on its head, and it screamed even louder. I tried to push my claw down its skull, hoping to pierce the brain to kill it instantly, but I didn't have the strength to puncture the thick skull.

Then Mother took my paw away, and pushed my face down to it, while putting a finger into my mouth and forced my jaw open. She directed my mouth over the animal head and said kill again.

Nearly in tears from the horror, wishing myself to be anywhere other than here, I mustered up my resolve. Not seeing I had any choice in this matter, I bit down on its neck as hard as I could, and the animal screeched out for the last time as I felt the neck separate from its body.

I felt disgust over having blood and a rodent head in my mouth, and as I was about to spit it all out I halted. The metallic taste of the blood actually tasted great, without really thinking I bit down on the head with a crunch, and my mouth was flooded with a rich and heavy flavour.

Involuntary I moaned in ecstasy, instantly craving more.

Mother rubbed me between my ears and whispered words of encouragement as I chewed, I couldn't keep myself from wanting more, the desire to consume awoke and I needed more.

Mother held the headless corpse of the critter in front of me, and I instantly shove the entire carcass into my mouth. Its bones shattering between my teeth and pure deliciousness spread inside my mouth. Before I knew it I had eaten the entire thing, without even bothering to spit out the bones.

I don't like where this is going. If all animals taste half as good as this rodent, I might want to kill any animal I come over, just from the desire to eat them. If these feelings keep up, I won't only look like a monster, I'll become one.