The Commander could see Logan before his eyes - hunched over and speaking so calmly, so clearly in the still, silent aftermath of the raging battle. The scent of death; of smoking, scorched meats and burnt wood clung to the air like a toxic blanket squeezing at his chest as he looked up at the white mask of an eternal set of bared teeth.
“Are you from the Citadel, Captain?” Jarek could do nothing but nod.
“Then you wouldn’t understand the oppression - the embarrassment that these people endured. Their parents, their grandparents - generations above them have hidden like rats beneath the floorboards, scrounging for enough food to survive, let alone live. Like cockroaches, they’ve suffered disease - some transferred because they’ve been reduced to eating one-another… That is why they chose to follow me. That is why they laid down their lives - so that the ones who come after them aren’t succulent pests in the world of Monstrum.”
Jarek forced his eyes shut and shook his head back and forth. For all he tried to imagine, he couldn’t stomach the idea - the insanity that this… this had been the right decision.
“I still don’t understand… how could you do this?”
The Ghast continued, frankly and honest:
“I could do it because of the people from the Citadel. Because of people like you. After today, you’ll return home. You’ll tell about the sacrifices that were made today - you’ll tell everyone about the monster with the mask… they’ll fear it. Then they’ll wish to be part of it - heroes to have their stories recounted by Generals. Then, they’ll come to serve under frightened, protected officers whose only contribution on the field of battle is to hide in a hole and weep. Then I’ll save a few who will continue to return to the Citadel and that cycle will continue again and again.” The Ghast rose back up again and began to turn, only for Jarek to shout: “This couldn’t have been the right thing - we could’ve just held the line until the reinforcements came!”
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The Commander turned over his shoulder, again shining the ash-streaked mask at his compatriot.
“You know you couldn’t have. But you feel the need to believe it, so you do… I don’t blame you for it - it’s only human. As is whimpering, weeping and shitting ourselves. But these men died as something greater than humans - as protectors of your right to be weak and to hide behind the Citadel’s iron walls. Every one of them died one step closer to your idea of the ‘Ideal Man’. Closer than you’ll ever be.” The words stung Jarek’s chest like a volley of daggers, not because he disagreed with the contents… but because he knew them to be true.
“As for why I did what you couldn’t. As for why they followed me into their deaths - that answer’s simple. It’s because the Monstrum must die.”
And with those words, he turned around and left - stepping over the bodies of men and monsters as the lingering gusts of the scorched planes scattered the ashes of warriors - of fathers, brothers, sisters and mothers to Cradle’s every corner.
____________________________________________________________
Logan sat with crossed arms on a barrel across from Jarek’s own. He had remained silent as the Captain had delivered his recount of the conversation - a conversation he remembered with surprising clarity.
“I’m a devout man, Ghast. I follow the Teachings and I used to strive to fulfill the Ideals, but… after that day… I’m left feeling like a monster - a weakling, softened by my time behind the walls. When I returned, I requested to be stationed outside… then, they placed me here. When I saw you, I imagined you were here to shame me - to rub it in. Maybe Bravelle sent you to remind me that I am on the wrong path, maybe-”
“The Governor sent me. My father’s likely cruel treatment of my lover and my apprentice motivated me to go. I’m not here to shame you - if anything, I’m here to ask for your help, Captain. But seeing as you know what I’ve done - what I’ll do again, I won’t hold it against you if you say no.”
Jarek froze. The man was a mirror image of the one he had met on the battlefield - courteous, humble and even humorous. He much preferred this one.
“I still struggle to look at you, Commander. I’ve accepted what happened, but I’m still shamed. If I can do anything to make it up to my men - if I can reach even a fraction of their Divine Actions that day, I’ll do whatever it takes.” Logan stood up, took a step over the floor and extended his arm towards the Captain. “Stop calling me Commander. I’m Logan.” Jarek nodded and met the Ghast’s lower arm, surprised to feel a monstrous gun hidden inside the sleeve. “J-Jarek.”