I watched myself being born. I was 2 when my sister Myrillis came. Oh, she was pretty. We got along well.

When I was in high school, she was suffering through middle school. Algebra gave her so many upsets. One day, she didn’t come home. Oh, we all cried! Police opened a missing persons case. They looked for her. Years passed. We still have hope, but not much. They never found a body. She was only 13.

Somehow, we got through, but we stopped talking about it. Stopped really talking to each other much. Daddy got more insistent that I get a good job. Work harder. If Myrillis worked harder, would she still be here with us? No!

I had an art class with the final grade dependent on my project that took all semester to build. And, it blew up in the kiln. Sometimes, that happens, with no sign that it’ll happen. It’s rare, my prof said. But there was no way to make it up. I failed the class. So did three others with pots in the kiln.

Daddy pitched a hissy fit. He went to work that day and came home happy. “I chewed out one of my employees, and I fired him! Now we can enjoy some peace and quiet at work. Stupid Elshars. They just don’t get working on Earth.”

Weeks passed. Then I didn’t hear from my parents. It wasn’t unusual for them not to return a call for a week, their business took a lot of time. I lived with Bedelia and Elsie.

But, the second week I went to their house and smelled that smell that you never forget. Police investigated. Daddy’s business. All of their things went to pay the bills. I let their bodies go to science. Nothing left for cremation or anything else. I wanted to stay with my roommates, but the police said I endangered them. I went to Merit Colony.

Oh, I wanted to stop! But, my room was on the 3rd floor. Perverts waited in the stairwell. I got raped. But they’d port one, and another would drug me and--

I got cancer. Ovarian cancer. I waited for hours at the clinic. It didn’t respond to Zheien healing. That didn’t make sense.

Bedelia brought me Tom. He hid while they did treatments. Then, I wanted to go outside one last time. He took me to a healer on Molly’s Ship, and they gave me an aandat. But another healer gave me treatments on a gray ship. Someone else was furious about that. But, finally, he said Tom could have that healer and go to Rainbow. We ported to Molly’s ship and Tom collapsed.

They didn’t even know his name for days to find his people.

But they cured me.

Finally, in Rainbow, they found out who he was. And he couldn’t bear being around Zheien much. Nobody from Esta Faho except Wulai.

Wulai cried about having to give him terminals, and another healer removed ‘em, but Nathan nearly died if he tried to talk about home! It didn’t make sense that he wanted Wulai near, but no one else Zheien. We lived like Earthans. Neither of us were all there. I had brain damage from all the Elshars who shoved herbs into me!

In Rainbow, I overheard people’s stories, and it always got my attention if they mentioned cancer. They cured cancer. With Zheien healing. So why couldn’t the doctor in the clinic in Merit Colony heal it? Did he even have telepathy? My memories weren’t that clear.

The man lifted the cylinder and hummed. My forehead quit hurting. “I’m sorry. Pirad will—”

I cried. I never let anyone see me cry, but I sobbed, and it was loud in my own ears, and I felt stupid!

“Ejis nae, Becky!” Tom put both hands on my head. “My love, what is—”

“Don’t let me think! Oh, I don’t want you to see! Can you block it?” I held his hands over my ears! I shouldn’t do that so hard, I’ll bruise his poor fingers—

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Tom cried with me.

Pirad, he’s Bisillip, they’re green and bony and click and he’s cold as ice! He put his hand on me and I felt unnatural calm. “I can take the intensity out of these memories—”

“Erase ‘em all! I don’t want to remember any of it, none of my time in Merit Colony! Why would anybody think it’s a good idea to throw poor people in a place like that?” I panted for breath.

He did do that, and it didn’t take long. One traumatic memory and another! But I wanted to remember my time being married to Tom. When I woke up with nightmares, drenched in cold sweat, he held me and cried with me! He had ‘em, too. We’re so different! Are we too different now?

“Becky, we knew of Merit Colonies when we wrote each of the treaties with Earth. We wrote a provision that poor shall nae be separated from the rest of Earth in facilities, that housing shall be where they choose and services provided to all equally. Be calm, my love.”

“How-how did you know?”

“Many Earthans shared memories to biomes, dear wife! We saw. Before we came to Earth, Adia showed us memories from Earthans. There were many protections we added against violence, against preventable unwells, and all will have progs to help them. Be calm.”

Finally, I calmed down.

Poor Yelena was maybe more upset. But she let Pirad work with her memories, too. I tried to remember things, to make sure the memories I wanted were still there! Tom helped me remember the things I wanted to remember, and assured me, it’s there. I heard his fear that maybe all his memories weren’t there, after all the times he had umar seg! I hugged him tighter.

“What about my sister, Myrillis? Can we find her?” I sobbed. I felt like I’d die if they found her body!

But Tom smiled. “Eae! My friend, Pertis Mai, he is Elshar, and he found her!” We watched him wave up a map. “She is in an apartment, and too fearful to speak with your parents. She wishes to see you! He is finished with his work and went trading, but he goes to her now!”

We stood in an apartment with a royal blue sofa and a few pieces of furniture, and Myrillis stood there in a brown dress. “Becky! Oh, I missed you! You probably all hate me! What I put you through!”

She hugged me. I hugged her and noticed how thin she is! Her brown hair had bald patches. Lots of split ends. Very short brown hair with streaks of silver. Brown eyes with bags.

“Are you sick? Did you see a healer?”

“Yeah. And my kids. Vera. Christine. C’mere, Babies!”

Two skinny girls staggered out of a room. “Mama!” One looked maybe 5 and the other, a toddler. The older girl held onto the younger one’s arm. She kind of groped. Both of ‘em, brown hair and brown eyes. With bald patches. Who could do that to a kid?

Myrillis gently pulled ‘em close so I could hug. The younger one had a very uneven arm. I grimaced. “You have to bring ‘em here! Healers here can do a lot more for ‘em!”

“Where’s here? What’s that place? A hospital?” I grimaced. This green room with hard tables!

Tom waved up a holo of Elshar Zheiea for her. “We live here, in the city Esta Faho. Our people accustom to our new world, and some are unwell. But soon, we go to our homes. Sa, you are welcome here, and your children. Our people love children.” She stared at the flowers. Smiled. Missing teeth. Myrillis had perfect teeth, like Daddy’s.

“I—he was online, and I thought he was my age. I met him at his house, and he—his—he kept me in handcuffs. Told me you’d forget about me. Until I—I believed it.

“I had babies. He did things until I cooperated. Kept poor Christine in the closet. She’ll never b-be normal. Vera has to be near me or her. We d-don’t go out. Police found us. Social worker. I can’t leave, she’s coming!”

“You can leave and take your girls with you. See this place? It’s nice. Nobody can hurt you.” The diplomat talked softly to her, but she stared at me.

“They won’t want us. We wake up screaming! The n-neighbors’ll complain. They have rules here. I-I’m tired.”

The diplomat waved, and a healer stepped out of a green swirl. “We’ll be there in two hours. I’m using a white portal! Don’t worry. My friends found some people who need to come, too. I’ll bring them all to you until they decide to go someplace else.”

He tried to say something else, and the kids started screaming! We stood beside the bed in Pirad’s green room again.

“Are they okay? It’s like something out of a horror movie!” I felt punched in the stomach!