The next day for Bea passed relatively uneventfully until after dinner, when she finally opened the file from Casey.
What she heard didn’t sound much like any of the music she’d heard before by the band. It seemed to have a soul. It spoke to her, even without lyrics. The rest of the night she spent trying her best to create a bass line that would work well and yet have a voice of it’s own to add to it. When finally she felt she’d done the best she could do with her limited knowledge and ability, she finally opened up her IM. But it had gotten so late that neither Casey nor Angus responded.
While she did have Gregg’s IM, she really didn’t talk with him much. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the bipolar fox, but - other than Angus - she just didn’t have that much in common with him. He struck Bea as a guy who had never really grown up. She could understand Angus’ affection for the kid, but she never could shake the feeling that he was just that - a kid. But she knew better than to assume too much. Who knew what lurked under his careless facade?
Those two would be gone someday too, she knew. Everyone was leaving her life. Mae was gone, Angus and Gregg were making noises about leaving. Casey was practically gone already. The only thing holding all three of them back was opportunity. In a year’s time, it was likely she’d be alone among those she considered her friends.
“Well,” she thought. “That’s not quite true. There’s still Germ.” He didn’t strike her as likely to leave anytime soon.
For the first time in a long time, she thought about the little guy. It took her a moment to recall his real name, she’d known him as Germ for so long… Jeremy Warton, that was it. Odd fellow, Germ Warfare. Mostly harmless and trustworthy to a fault, but never the kind of guy you think about. Though he’d never gone on one of his rants around her, she knew he was an active environmentalist, and still rode his bicycle rather than drive a car - ostensibly because it was better for the environment, but of course he was working for her under-the-table part time. Bea knew from first hand experience the cost of maintaining a car. Germ probably couldn’t afford one regardless.
So yeah, even when all her friends had gone, she could still count on Germ. And he provoked about as much interest in her as green beans. But she wasn’t going to beat herself up over that. Who knows what sparked interest and what didn’t? She certainly didn’t. But she could imagine that Germ would grow old here. Growing a potbelly. Watching sports. Yeah, he fit in. A little weird but very much a Possum Springs ‘guy’. Maybe that’s why she never really thought about him. And that wasn’t fair for such a loyal guy as Germ, but it’s how it was.
*********************************************
Casey stopped into the store early Saturday morning, but he apologized, asking only to use the restroom. She nodded to the back room and didn’t see when he left, having had to go to the warehouse to check on some weatherproofing goods.
“Hey Casey,” she sent that night on IM.
“Hi Bea.”
“I haven’t seen much of you these days. Did I scare you away?”
There was a pause. Obviously he was formulating a response to that. She wondered what that implied.
“No. I’ve just been busy. Did you get the bass part for that song tonight?”
“I did. I like the song btw. My bass part probably sucks, but I guess we’ll find out tomorrow night. How about you? Finish the lyrics yet?”
“Yeah. I… like them too.”
“Can’t wait to hear it. What have you been doing? Still using?”
Another long pause. She knew the answer before she read it.
“Yeah. A little.”
She considered how best to respond. Of course she didn’t like it, but she wasn’t his parents. She wasn’t really anybody to him, she knew.
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“Casey… well. I guess I have no right to say anything. Beatrice the Pure, you know. But… well, I guess thanks for being honest.”
“Sorry. It’s not easy, living my life.”
“Not easy living. But it beats the alternative.”
“I guess.”
Bea considered something. Something drastic for her. As much as it went against every ounce of her ‘Bea’-ness, she felt she had to try something.
“Casey… want to go out tomorrow night after the practice?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like… a date?”
Long pause. Long pregnant pause. Long goddammit-why-did-you-have-to-ask-that? pause.
“Really?”
“Yeah, really.”
“Like, as in, an official date? Do I have to, like, get you a flower or something?”
“Oh god! Please no! Just… I’d like to see you again.”
“That doesn’t sound like a thing a ‘friend’ would say.”
“It isn’t.”
“Where?”
“I have an idea. I’ll surprise you. Not like some club or anything. Just a place we can hang out at.”
“Okay! I’ve… never been asked out on a date before, Bea. I don’t really know the protocol. But, I’m definitely looking forward to it.”
“I’ve never asked anyone out on a date before, Casey. Just do me a favor… keep it just between us, okay?”
“Not even Angus?”
“Especially not Angus.”
“No problem. But it might be a little weird at practice.”
“Let it be weird. See you tomorrow, Casey.”
“See you tomorrow, Bea!”
“Um… and… no…”
“Clean and sober. Gotcha.”
“I’ll bring something to drink. Better than stolen whiskey.”
“Ooo! Sounds intriguing!”
“Good night Casey.”
“Good night Bea.”
She closed the IM program and wondered just what it was she was thinking to have asked Casey out on an ‘official’ date. She did think it was relevant that Casey had apparently gone back to using drugs after she had relegated him to Friend status though. And, to be perfectly honest with herself, she wasn’t at all sure she only wanted him as a friend anyway. But she did know where she wanted to take him. It might be fun, in a low-key sort of way. She also happened to have a bottle of nice wine that she hoped he’d appreciate.
And really, why shouldn’t she have a date with a guy she liked? Surely there was nothing wrong with exploring the idea of a romantic relationship a little bit. Granted, the guy was furry and she was scaly, but he seemed to have no problem with that. She certainly didn’t, and it’s not like interracial relationships were exactly rare. And he did have a rather nice butt…
She resisted the urge to open her drawer. No. If he could give up his habit for a little, it wouldn’t feel right. But she did light a cigarette. She smiled. Casey Hartley. So absolutely not her type, it made sense in a totally screwed-up universe. Who knows? Maybe…
************************************************
The next morning, a part of her was angry at herself for being so happy over something so crass and bourgeois as a date with a drug-addicted likely meth head. Was that the sum of her own self-worth? Was she really this giddy over something that most women her age experienced routinely? Surely she was above something this… normal.
No. No she wasn’t. As hard as her intellect was trying to bring her down to earth, she was nothing less than eager. Even the weather had warmed and felt almost springlike, despite the calendar. For the first time in years, the clock couldn’t move fast enough.
Finally, as the sun began to set, Gregg, Angus and Casey came into the store.
“Hi guys!” she said, barely concealing her emotions.
“Hey Bea. You ready?”
“I should stay open a little longer, but what the hell. Nobody’s here. I’ll close up early. Wait for me outside, I’ve got some stuff to gather up.”
Minutes later the Ol’ Pickaxe went dark early and Bea couldn’t help the smile that covered her face no matter what she did.
“Bea! Casey wrote a new song!” Gregg said excitedly, his arms waving like wet noodles.
“I know, Gregg. I wrote a bass line for it.”
“It’s great!”
“What’s it called?”
“Die Anywhere Else!”
Bea looked at Casey, who shrugged.
“Die Anywhere Else huh?”
“Had a nice ring to it,” Casey said humbly.
“Well, come on - let’s give it a try.”
Germ was waiting on them when they got to the Party Barn and slipped inside. Bea had a little problem with her backpack, that now not only contained her laptop and interface cables to the PA system, but also a bottle of wine, grapes, cheese and crackers that she dare not let the others see.
Shortly she’d gotten everything connected to her laptop and booted up, while Gregg had finished tuning and Angus had done the traditional “Test One, Two, Three” into the mic.
“Okay Bea,” Casey said. “Go ahead. Count it off…”
“Okay. Eight count. Casey, try this. Closed hi-hat for four, open hi-hat for four along with the click-track. Ready?”
“Oh! Suddenly you’re a musician? Well, okay!”
tick.tick.tick.tick.TSH.TSH.TSH.TSH
And the song started. But Bea was no longer paying much attention to the melody. She was listening to Angus singing Casey’s words. And she knew exactly who those words were written for.
Crocodile tears began to well up. At no time, ever, in her entire life, had her heart been this emotionally pierced. She couldn’t even try to bottle it up. The best she could do was to turn away from the other band members and pretend to concentrate on her laptop. It was only tempered by the thought that the feeling might never come back again. At that moment, even in the most cynical part of her mind, she knew without a doubt that she was in love.
But Germ saw.