Some things in life were complicated. Calculus, the social and political climate that predated the fall of Rome, the steps necessary to romance the hot punk girl in that cyber game she was playing… Those things were just one of the many reasons Ashe liked to keep other things in her life simple.
Like ice cream.
She didn’t care for the complicated flavors, or textures for that matter. Give her pure ice cream that she didn’t need to chew and she was good to go. That was why she kept buckets of vanilla and chocolate in the freezer and bottles of syrup in the fridge. Crystal on the other hand loved the complicated stuff. She had a dozen different flavors of the single serve tubs in the freezer, and she was currently peeling the lid off of one such tub.
Ashe watched her with a touch of amusement, because the lid was not cooperating for once, and she just couldn’t get it to— And there the lid went, soaring through the air, across the room, and bounced off the TV. Ashe covered her mouth, mostly to hide what was absolutely not giggles as her girlfriend tried to decide whether she should be glaring at the lid, or her.
“It wasn’t that funny,” Crystal grumbled, flopping down on the sofa beside her.
“You’re right.” Taking a triumphant bite of her chocolate sundae, she turned her smuggest smile on her girlfriend. “It was hilarious.”
“I’m going to laugh the next time you manage to shoot syrup in your eye,” Crystal grumbled, finally grabbing her spoon and stabbing it into the cup of caramel abomination that she had chosen.
It was a nice moment of levity, considering the turmoil still roiling through her mind. Prom was still a day away, and she was having trouble looking forward to it, even with her semblance of a plan coming together. She knew what she wanted to do, but was still fuzzy on how she was going to make it happen.
Her team was on board with the idea though, and those she trusted knew the full extent of those plans. Keiko’s warning still hung within her mind, and she was hesitant to tell the others about things, knowing that someone on her team was likely working for Alejandro in some capacity. What would she do if she found them? Would she murder them too?
Just the thought of killing one of the girls she rescued filled her with dread, the gentle smile of Kendall looking back at her with understanding in his eyes as he knew right then and there that he was about to die at her hands. She could have tried to play it off, convince him that her cover was intact, but then her parents would know what she was doing…
And she was about to tell them, too.
That opportunity had long since fled. There was no way she could say anything, not anymore. Not when the risk was so much higher. She was a murderer, Ashe had known and accepted that side of her, but she hadn’t expected to turn that upon a friend. His face was going to haunt her for years to come.
At least the ice cream was helping fill that pit that remained in her stomach, though it was more metaphorical than anything. It was nice, to just sit there and be with her girlfriend, no expectations or obligations hanging in the air like an urgent reminder. Absolutely nothing that needed done could actually be addressed at the moment.
It wasn’t nearly as freeing as it should have been, but Ashe knew she had to take what little she could get. If her plan was successful, which was a long shot, she would be busy the next few months, not to mention that she would be having to trust others to get things done while she recovered from bottom surgery.
Trust was another concern she just couldn’t shake.
She wanted to trust her people, but she also understood that would eventually burn her. She needed to tighten her circle, but at the same time, doing so didn’t feel right. Shaking her head, she went for another scoop, only to find her bowl empty. With a heavy sigh, she leaned forward and placed it on the table.
No sooner than the bowl clicked on the cheap wood, two arms wrapped around her and pulled her back. She squeaked, her stomach flipping as she fell and she had to bite down on the reflex to lash out, but was soon being snuggled by her girlfriend. Ashe had to force herself to relax, she wasn’t in danger, it was just her girlfriend.
“You are wound tighter than a spring,” Crystal whispered. “I know it’s weighing on you, and I wouldn’t dare suggest you try to get over it…”
They laid there on the couch for several moments, the silence almost suffocating. Ashe wasn’t sure what she wanted, or how to deal with the turmoil roiling within her. Even being there with her girlfriend wasn’t enough to dull the memories.
“Only time will dull this,” Crystal continued. “I won’t pretend to understand what you’re going through, and I hope I never will, but you’re not alone in this. I’m here, and if you’d rather talk to Keiko, that’s okay too. Just, please, don’t bottle it up and take the weight of the world on your shoulders.”
“It’s my burden to bear,” Ashe muttered, snuggling closer. “I started all this, I’m the one taking the lead on building a goddamn gang.”
“And we have chosen to follow you,” Crystal said firmly, then snorted. “Look at you, not even eighteen and you’ve gathered over a dozen followers.”
“Two dozen,” Ashe absently corrected. “That’s not even counting the people that don’t know they’re working for me.”
“See,” Crystal said as if that were an answer. “You wouldn’t have so many people backing you if they didn’t believe in you.”
“They’re idiots then,” Ashe said.
Crystal pulled away from the snuggle, turning them both until she was looking into Ashe’s eyes. The look that she was being given sent a chill down Ashe’s spine.
“Are you calling me an idiot?”
Ashe quickly shook her head. Danger hung in the air, and Ashe understood then that she would have to choose her next words carefully.
“I’m not the one that struggled to open a tub of ice cream here,” Ashe said solemnly.
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She absolutely deserved the pillow to the face that followed.
“Jerk,” Crystal said with a huff as she flopped back onto the couch. “I was being serious. It isn’t a fluke that you’re bringing all these people together. When we’re in the field, or the stakes are high, you just take charge and everyone can’t help but fall in step. Keiko thinks it’s hilarious she’s following someone almost a decade younger, yet you don’t hear her complaining, now do you?”
“All the damn time,” Ashe said, smiling.
The weight was still there, the knowledge of what she had done, what she would need to do in the future. She was going to kill more people. Some in the heat of battle, some in cold blood. She could justify it, make all the excuses in the world for what she was doing, but in the end, she was killing to solidify her own power.
She murdered her friend because she was selfish.
That admission hurt, but it rang true. There was no point trying to justify her own actions, they were necessary for her own ambitions. She made a call, her life or his. She couldn’t be arrested, that would be the death of her, so her uncle had to die.
“All I wanted,” Ashe said softly, “was to be able to live my life in peace. Each time my head turns from life slapping me, another obstacle seems to crop up to prevent that peace.”
Crystal chuckled, reaching out to take her by the hand. Ashe focused on the warmth of her hand. Ashe always had cold fingers, thanks to her injury, but she could feel the warmth, if not the full sensation. Crystal was probably the only person that really understood how bad her debilitation was, how hard she had worked to overcome it.
“Responsibility is a bitch like that,” Crystal said, rubbing her thumb over Ashe’s scar. Her voice was soft and understanding, gentle and kind. “Life has dumped a mess in your lap, and you’ve risen to meet it at every step.”
Crystal then pulled Ashe’s arm up—she offered no resistance—and feathered a kiss along the scar. It was a strangely intimate gesture, and Ashe couldn’t help but think how it might feel to have her kiss some of her other scars. She had a bunch now, and some were still healing, despite the crazy shit she kept getting up to.
She’d probably have dozens of scars before things were done, assuming they ever would be. That, or she would end up in the ground before long. She even planned to get some scars on purpose, what with her surgery in early June. She would need to make plans to be out of commission for that, to make sure her people were able to take care of things while she recovered. She had the beginnings of those plans, but Ashe needed to make sure they stuck.
She’d be briefing everyone in the afternoon, giving them the evening to make sure everyone understood their roles. That gave her a few more hours to work out the remaining details. Crystal’s ministrations had trailed up high enough that Ashe could tilt her chin, and she took full advantage of the opening to—
Her fucking phone rang.
Ashe let out a groan, her lips just an inch from Crystal’s neck. Ashe pulled away, grabbing her phone from the table and glared at the number. She didn’t recognize it, but it could have been a fresh burner. Deciding to get it over with, she swiped the answer icon.
“What?”
Okay, maybe she was a bit pissed on top of things.
“Hello, Inferno,” a man with silk for his voice said. “Or would you rather go by Ashe?”
A chill ran down her spine as she remembered where she had heard that voice before, though it had been nearly a month since he pointed her towards Lily’s killer. If he had somehow bothered to track down her number, he must have something important to say. Worse, he made it clear that he knew who she was. She could play that off, but was there even a point after Crystal unmasked to him?
There really wasn’t.
“That depends,” she said, switching to her business voice, “on the nature of this call, Silver Cross.”
“Straight to business, I appreciate that,” he said with a chuckle. Crystal gripped her hand tight with widened eyes and Ashe quickly set it to speaker mode so her girlfriend could listen in. “It is less of a secret than you imagine, you have leaks in your organization.”
“All organizations have leaks,” Ashe said dismissively. “That can’t be the reason you called, and I doubt it took you all this time to figure out who I am, so why now?”
“Rumors are running rampant, you see,” he said smoothly. “Police are asking questions, and the answers being given are conflicting. You’re welcome for that. Will you be attending the funeral?”
Such a simple statement, said with a bit of casual detachment, and yet it held more menace than anything she had heard in her life. He knew, and if that got out, Inferno would be hunted down and Ashe’s life would be over. Her mind raced, ideas for how to deal with one of the oldest and most dangerous men in the city coming to mind.
None were complete, but some were better than others, she would need to refine them, bring Crystal into the planning process, maybe—
“Drop it, Uncle Edward,” Crystal snarled. “You know better than to posture like this, and are only doing so because Ashe is new to the scene and you can get away with it.”
He chuckled, but the tension in Ashe’s shoulders remained.
“You certainly took to your lessons better than your brother,” Edward Ellington said. “I do hope you’ve been teaching your…paramour the finer points of those lessons.”
The implications of his choice in wording weren’t lost on Ashe, and a pit of indignation formed in her gut, smothering the dysphoric shame that always came when someone misgendered her. The man was an unrepentant Nazi, not even the Neo type, but a direct descendant of one of the classic types. He was a true believer of their cause, and he would take any cheap shot that he could against her.
So she had no qualms about doing the same.
“She’s given me plenty of lessons,” Ashe said sweetly. “Though you likely wouldn’t approve of them.”
“Crass,” he said, his tone not changing in the slightest. “Barbs aside, I have made sure to obfuscate the rumors. It does not work in my favor for my great niece to be arrested.”
“Does my father know?” Crystal demanded.
“No,” Edward said before Ashe could have another minor panic attack. “He would release the information immediately in an effort to drive the two of you apart. I know better than to try.”
The way he said it, Ashe just knew he was speaking from experience, but getting that story out of the man would likely be impossible. Crystal might know it, but this wasn’t the time to dig into her family history.
“Then why?” Crystal asked. “Why reach out to us?”
The man chuckled, and Ashe could just picture him sitting back while clutching his cane like an old mob boss, because that was exactly what the man was. He was dangerous, and not to be underestimated.
“We have mutual goals,” he began, the grin evident in his voice. “You wish to see Alejandro removed, so do I. You wish for the Viuda to stop trafficking women using Patriot stooges, well, you see where I am going, do you not?”
The chill was back, and it penetrated deep into her very soul. Here she was, a transwoman in a lesbian relationship, and a fucking Nazi was offering to help her? It went completely against every experience she had ever had, it clashed with her worldview. Even if they had mutual goals, everything she knew told her to stay the hell away from whatever offer was about to be made.
At least, that’s what the old her would have done. Inferno, however…
“I’m listening,” she said, letting another small part of the old her die, crossing yet another line as she sacrificed another moral line in the sand. “What did you have in mind?”
He explained enthusiastically, and Ashe was almost horrified at how easily his ideas would slot into her plans for the coming evening. She knew that she was being played, and yet, what else was there to do but to play along?