Emma rushed over to where Max had fallen. Slade joined her. I could see the bar over him was half empty. He’d taken a savage stab to the torso, grabbed the blade with his hand, and was only at half health. It would have probably killed me. He was tenacious, if nothing else.

The remaining three villagers hooted and waved their axes at us as I joined the rest of my group. The air shimmered, and a wave of sparkles flowed up. I saw Max’s health bar now. He’d been reduced to a sliver. It filled back to full as Emma chanted. There was a rush of flooding light and chimes playing over each other.

Gained: Experience

Achievement: Level 3

I held out a hand and helped Max up, then pulled him into a hug. There was a quiet bravery about him that was endearing. He’d risked his life to help save Slade. I wasn’t so certain I would have done the same. But, if he was willing to risk himself for that lunk, I was pretty sure he’d do the same for any of us. I was also pretty happy he wasn’t dead.

Emma then had to get in on the action. And Slade too. I’d never been the touchy-feeliest of people, but it felt good to have a big group hug after what should have been a losing fight. The math was never in our favor, yet we still pulled it off.

Max gathered our horses, the three that survived. He then gathered up a few more of the raider horses that hadn’t ridden off.

Party Gained: Horse, Light Riding x3

When we finally got the cart to town, the sun slipped behind the horizon, leaving us in near darkness. The guards were friendlier this time, letting us in alongside the precious cart full of logs. They showered us with praise and dinner invitations. Slade and Emma basked in it, hugging and carrying on with the grateful peasants. Max and I kept back, shooting each other knowing glances.

Slade finally asked, “So… where can we get a drink here?”

“And a bed for the night,” I added.

The militia leader, Samuel, told us, “The Springfield Inn will get you sorted on both accounts.”

“Springfield Inn?” Max whispered to me.

“Right?” I whispered back, “the devs could at least come up with better names than this generic crap.”

“Like I said,” he replied. “I don’t think they built it.”

“Somebody had to.”

He shook his head, “Naw, could be procedurally generated.”

“You think an AI did all this?”

Max shrugged, “I don’t know. I’m just listing possibilities. Until there’s evidence, it's all speculation.”

At the Inn Slade and Emma got a huge round of applause. Max and I skittered off to a corner.

I asked Max, “No glory for you?”

“What about you?”

“Not my thing,” I replied.

“Same, same.” Max said. “I’m going to check out my new level.”

“Oh yeah! I forgot about that. Guess I’ll be doing the same.”

I opened my stats page and flipped to level.

Victoria – Level 3 Hunter

Tracking +1

Nature Stealth +1

Ranged Weapons +1

Skills: Hunter’s Mark

Choose next skill:

Nature Step

Fighting Style

Improve Skill

Choose boon:

Looking over the list, I wanted to smack my head. I’d forgotten even to use my Hunter’s Mark in the last fight. Emma was buffing my archery, Slade slaying madly with his axe. And there was me, forgetting skills that might have helped significantly. I vowed not to repeat that error in the next fight.

Tracking, sneaking, and bows were getting even better. Good. Staying hidden and shooting things from far away appealed to me greatly.

I read through the skills. Nature step had been offered at level two, a teleport-type spell so long as I was in the wilderness. Fighting style would allow me to choose one type of fighting that would get a significant boost. Archery was pretty much all I was interested in there. Finally, I could improve a skill that I already had. So, Hunter’s mark would become even better. I decided to take the Fighting Style and chose Archery. Now I just had to make sure to stay well away from anything that could stab, slice, crush, push, hit, or slap me.

Skill Gained: Fighting Style, Archery

Boons were a mystery to me, so I read up on them in the help menu. These were all sorts of advantages that could be chosen regardless of class. I considered a boon that would give me all sorts of insights into the creatures of the world. It was nice being able to identify things by tracks and sound. This would grant encyclopedic knowledge, weaknesses, diet, favored attacks, and even mating practices. It was so tempting. In the end, however, I chose World Knowledge.

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Boon: World Knowledge

Unsure how to use this boon, I went again to help. It mentioned access to a map, and many new help entries explain regions and cities. I found the map and a scroll rolled out in my vision.

There we were at the southern edge of the known world. Zooming in, I found Springfield, a tiny village on the frontier. To the south of that was a crude drawing of a goblin holding a spear. “Here be monsters.”

To the north, there were bigger towns, a river heading north, and a big city on the sea. We were in The Duchy of Windsor, a medium-sized kingdom. Another generic name. Maybe Max was right about this being an AI creation.

I popped out of the menus to see that Max was still going strong. Now I regretted taking World Knowledge. What if he’d chosen the same thing? In the future, I figured we should probably do our level-ups together to ensure we weren’t overlapping skills and knowledge.

The door to the inn banged open, and a hush fell on the crowd. A large man with a fur-lined cape strode across the crowded room, going directly to Slade. Two brutish thugs flanked him. They looked barely cleaner than the raiders we’d fought earlier. Whatever this was, I didn’t want Slade to handle it. He was probably a few beers in and might turn the entire town against us.

Before I could scrabble out of my chair and fight through the crowd, the big man announced, “So? You are the one that helped our woodchoppers?”

Slade looked up from his drink, annoyed that someone had interrupted a round of his bloviated stories. Emma sat next to him. She looked apprehensive, which was probably the correct approach. Slade slammed down his mug and looked up at the stranger with a smug grin, “That was indeed me.”

“You have the entire town’s thanks then. As the mayor of Springfield, you have my gratitude. Drinks and board are on me.”

The crowd cheered, sloshing drinks all around. A woman, a barmaid I guessed from her attire, snuggled up closer to Slade, offering him a second stein of ale.

“Well! That’s downright hospitable of you,” Slade said. He winked at the woman taking the drink she offered and throwing a beefy arm around her waist. “Cheers to the mayor!”

On Slade’s other side, Emma shot the barmaid a look of pure daggers. She snuggled up against him, sandwiching the musclehead between them. She ducked her head so Slade could throw an arm around her as well.

I got to the table but was too stunned watching Emma to say anything immediately.

The mayor continued, “I hear you defended our towns folk valiantly, as a true hero.”

Slade squeezed both women to him. Without any shame, he offered, “All in a day's work.”

“Well then, could we interest you in another day’s work?”

“Perhaps,” Slade slurred. “But I do believe a night of hard rest is needed first.”

“What sort of work are you asking?” I said.

Ignoring me completely, the mayor spoke only to Slade, “Malworth, the goblin king. If you were to slay this foul beast, the Duchy itself would be grateful.”

Slade looked up from sniffing the barmaid’s hair, “How grateful?”

I interjected, “Wait. What do you know about this goblin king? We have our own issues to…”

The mayor talked over me, “There’s a bounty of a thousand silver for his head.”

“For a goblin?” Slade asked. “Consider it done.”

“No. Wait. We already have our own things to do…” I tried explaining to Slade.

The Mayor and Slade shook hands over the table. I was tempted to stab the drunk fool, either one of them.

The Mayor announced, “We’ll tend to your horses so you can ride out on the morrow.”

“No, there won’t be any morrow riding,” I said as the Mayor turned and left with his entourage. “Slade! What the fuck?”

He squeezed the barmaid and Emma, “It’s a goblin. How hard can it be? We ride out. Kill the thing. Come back and collect ample rewards.”

“It’s a king. A goblin king. As in many goblins.”

Slade stood up, dragging the two women up with him. “Gobkins are pusses. Trust me, this is easy money. Now if you don’t mind, as I discussed with the Mayor guy, I got some hard relaxing to do.”

He staggered away from the table with both Emma and the barmaid in tow. I scrambled around the table and caught Emma’s hand.

“Emma, what are you doing?”

She shrugged as I desperately scurried after her. “I don’t know, whatever Slade is up to.”

I pulled on her hand, spinning her out of Slade’s grasp. He turned, looking for where Emma had gone, but the barmaid distracted him, pulling him in another direction.

“Hey,” I said. “We have work to do. Did you level up yet?”

“No…” Emma slurred, “I forgot. Was having drinks and…”

Crap. She was drunk. Good thing I intervened when I did. “Okay Emma. We really need your help.”

She smiled brightly, “You do?”

“Yes, you are our healer and we need you to pick some good skills to help us all out.”

“No,” She scrunched her face, “paperwork? I don’t wanna do paperwork right now.”

“We really need you to do this Emma. For me?”

She pouted but agreed. I guided her back to the table where Max was still looking through menus.

“Go ahead, open the menu, and take a look at your options.”

She sat down and blinked, then got a faraway look. Flipping her hands listlessly, I left her there to try and untangle the mess Slade made. Sadly, he was nowhere to be found. The other barmaids just snickered when I asked his whereabouts. Finally, I found the innkeeper.

“Have you seen my friend? Tall guy. Helped rescue some villagers today.”

“That I have, miss,” The innkeeper said with a smirk, “He’s gone up to his room. Best one in the house. Top of the stairs on the right.”

I dashed up the stairs to the first door on the right of a short hallway. There was giggling from behind the door, but I knocked anyway. Pounded on it with my fists, to be honest.

“Fuck off!” Slade yelled, “We’re busy here.”

Even after pounding for several minutes, I got no other response. Resigned, I went back downstairs to the sound of giggling and failure.

Back at the table, I saw the Max was done leveling up. Emma was still lifelessly flickering her hand in front of her.

“What’s going on?” Max asked as I took a seat.

“Well… Slade volunteered us to slay a goblin king. Then carried a barmaid off to his room.”

“We have rooms?” Max said.

“Nothing regarding the barmaid?”

Max shrugged, “Come on, seen it a million times. A frat boy like that always scores.”

“Gross.” I said, “How are we supposed to complete this and go home if Slade is signing us up for extra danger and acting like a pubescent teen.”

“He was pretty good with that axe. Even killed the level 3 by himself.”

“No he didn’t,” I spat, “You assisted on that big time.”

“Like I said, I’ve seen this a million times. A guy like him will slay the goblin and lay the girl.”

“Alright, I’m done,” I growled. “I didn’t get my bath, but at least we have soft beds tonight.”

Without another word, I stood and grabbed Emma by the hand. She followed, staggering the whole time, but didn’t come out of the menus.

Back at the Innkeeper I asked, “Can I get keys for our rooms?”

“Oh, there aren’t any keys. Just bar it once you're inside.”

“Whatever. Which are ours?”

“I only had the two rooms. One for Slade the Mighty, and another for his companions.”

“Slade the Mighty?” I asked incredulously

“That is what the town folk are calling him.”

“Which room is for his companions?”

“Second door on the right. Just past his room.”

“Thanks,” I muttered and dragged Emma up the steps.

There was more giggling and deep murmurs as we went past Slade’s room. I was glad Emma didn’t seem to notice. I’d seen the maiming looks she’d given the barmaid earlier and knew that the last thing we needed right now was drama.

Our room was small, with a slanted ceiling on one side. Thankfully, the bed was large enough for both of us.

“Hey Emma, you are doing great. I’m just going to sit you down on the bed here. Perfect. You keep at that menu, hon.”

I was glad to open my inventory and move the leather armor from myself to my backpack. I saw that I was wearing my clothes from the real world and wondered if they would remain in inventory if I moved them. Sure enough, they did. Down to underthings, I slipped into bed.

Glancing over at Emma, I noticed she was no longer flicking her hand around. Instead, she was snoring where I’d left her on top of the blankets. She was on a bed, sleeping. I was pretty sure my babysitting was done. If she woke up later, she could figure the rest out herself. I closed my eyes, so very happy that I’d be sleeping in a softish bed tonight.

Blissful thoughts of slumber enveloped me, and then the rhythmic thumping and loud groans next door started.